Lilli bit her lip as she looked down at the Russian sleeping in her hall. Ivan was so tall and heavy, she could never move him. She almost hated to wake him, though, he smiled in his sleep and it was the only time he looked peaceful and happy. But she couldn't leave him here for Vash to trip over and kick out. Sighing, she knelt down beside his ear and moved a bit of his blonde hair out of his face. "Ivan," she whispered gently, "can you wake up for me?"
Ivan moaned and murmured something before looking up and smiling. "Oh, Sunflower…" He laughed weakly and touched her hand. "You're… back…?"
Lilli raised an eyebrow. "I never left, Ivan," she told him, "you're not making any sense." She reached out her hand and he took it and stood up slowly, his eyes wide and confused. Ivan was just like a little child in a big man's body, she realized, as he looked to her for his next order. He seemed so meek and timid… how were there so many bad rumors about him?
She sighed and led him to her bedroom, opening the door to her large, walk-in closet. Despite Vash's extreme frugality, the house they lived in was very large, perhaps by virtue of being old. She sat Ivan down beside the little shelf that held her shoes and wrapped him in blankets, placing her stuffed animals around him, somewhat in an effort to make him blend in.
"We need to figure out a way to get you back to Russia," she mused, pacing back and forth, half talking to herself. "I don't even know how to get there, or how far away it is…"
"Sunflower…" Lilli turned around to see that Ivan had gotten up and was facing her now. He was so tall when he stood. "It's all right, you just need to get me out of Liechtenstein and I'll figure out the rest." Without warning, he reached town and tucked one of her golden locks behind her ear. The touch surprised her and made her face warm up, and she looked up to see that he was smiling sadly.
"You are so beautiful," he said wistfully, "just like a little sunflower. If I didn't have to stay away from you…"
"Why would you have to stay away from me?" Lilli asked, cocking her head to one side curiously. She didn't know how much that action made heat spread throughout Ivan's body, but it did. She continued innocently, "Are you worried about Vash? He's very protective, but once he gets to know somebody-"
Ivan shook his head and sighed, looking down at his feet. "Nyet," he interrupted her, "it's not your brother I'm worried about, it's me. I like you, Lilli, I can be myself around you, but I have another self you would not want to meet."
Lilli thought for a moment, and then she understood, her eyes widening as she noticed for the first time all the scars along Ivan's arms and neck. They were more visible without his scarf and heavy clothing. He was saying he was… schizophrenic. She felt a little shiver run up her spine as she thought about what she'd heard of the condition. It wasn't the person's fault, they could have hearts of gold, but they would snap and hear voices in their heads and suddenly become psychotic and willing to chase somebody around with a knife. Poor Ivan recognized his problem, and didn't want to hurt her. That was why he was so lonely. That was why people were afraid of him. And poor thing, none of it was his fault.
"Ivan," she said softly, taking his hand again, "did you know there is medicine you can take? As long as you stay on it, you can keep it under control. What I mean is, your… condition."
"Da, Sunflower, I know what you're saying." Ivan blinked back the warmth and his eyes and asked, "I could really get help? I mean… I don't have to stay like this?" Was it possible, though he hardly dared to believe it, that he could have a family, that he could be around Lilli and not have to worry that he might hurt her?
Lilli nodded the affirmative. "You'll have to see a doctor, I know from experience with Vash that most men don't like to do that, but they would prescribe you the medication, and you'd be so much happier, I promise."
The word happy was so unfamiliar to the Russian. Everybody was afraid of him, he was afraid of hurting those he loved, he had a crazy younger sister at home who wanted to marry him, and everyone thought he was evil. What was happy about that? But now, with Lilli Zwingli holding his hand, he thought he could experience happiness at last. "You go to sleep, Ivan," Lilli told him, "and tomorrow we'll get you some help, I promise."
It was the first promise Ivan believed in years.