"I think I mentioned to you not to bother me.
A deep voice, a man who spoke with a tone that reflected more than the tiredness in it.
"Help me one more time! "The response was jovial and too sharp, the tone of despair present along with the plea.
"Tamamo-san... "The man looked at the woman who had tears in her eyes as she hugged him by the waist in reflection of how much he wanted the attention.
" Just once! I think I have it, please Emiya-san, just one last time and this time I will cook something that is good" Tamamo's voice sounded almost desperate, the crying present and the little gasps around the crying itself.
Silence came, Emiya looked around.
They were in Chaldea and some servant just stood still to see him and how they reacted to the woman with fox features who cried asking for help.
Emiya only let out a sigh and crouched down to catch up with Tamamo.
"Okay, come on, but stop crying, could you? "He didn't want to be kind just like now, he could just ignore the incarnation of the Sun of Japan as he had done so many times.
But Emiya could see Ozymandias in the background, with the "big brother and younger sister" dynamic that had developed between them, he didn't feel like dealing with someone as annoying as that king was.
Emiya saw how Tamamo was encouraged the moment he heard his proposal, not that it was something that he would really refuse until the end, not with how annoying the woman was, but if it was something he could not put aside as he was doing.
"Guide the way" was a tired tone that came out of Emiya's mouth the moment he saw Tamamo's ears rise and regain his composure. A faint sense of comfort came to Emiya when he saw how the woman had finished her tantrum and was now more than happy to guide him to the kitchen.
Emiya quietly followed Tamamo who seemed in a good mood, humming and looking around with a smile, the usual thing in her, but it seemed that right now she was in a better mood than usual.
This was one of the times when I helped him improve his cooking skills, Emiya at first thought that it would not be so bad to be able to help someone so that he could give a decent meal, but simply... Tamamo did not have the talent for it, not that the woman cooked badly, but she lacked natural talent, it could be supplied with practice, yes, but Emiya had her own patience and dealing with Tamamo was...
" You see now I brought everything you need in one go! Tamamo extended her arms when she opened the kitchen door and looked at the counter next to the stoves, as they were loaded with the ingredients she planned to use.
"And did you leave the ones that should be refrigerated until the last moment outside? "Tamamo's smile froze at the mention of Emiya.
"Well... "
"It doesn't matter, do it, I want to see your cooking, you mentioned that this time you would make it perfect "Emiya did not believe that, he doubted in its entirety, but only heard the slight snort of the woman who moved her ears already resuming a pose that showed more dignity.
" This time I will surpass you! "Tamamo didn't think that would happen, but at least he thought he could do something to get a eulogy from the man.
It was strange for Tamamo, at first, she did not know what to do when he had appeared in Chaldea, he felt as if her existence was limited.
How could she be the perfect wife when she didn't know who to reciprocate?
Tamamo's primary thought had been to take her teacher as the symbol of her devotion to becoming the perfect wife, beyond that, it was when she realized how many people there were within the organization is that she understood something.
She couldn't be the perfect wife if she was rejected by someone or if she didn't meet the requirements of others...
The first week for Tamamo was almost all about following what others were saying, listening to the demands and the way she should act, captivate or show the little symbol of acceptance, but without reaching the point of humiliation.
Tamamo couldn't help but feel happy at the warm welcome she had got, even being who she was and people knowing her past, there was no one who judged her, but... At the same time there was no one who gave her the interest she was looking for.
Her search for the "perfect wife" was not well seen by some, but it is not as if she thought it too much, she had seen humans and love they could experience.
Even if it was only a tiny part of what she desired, the feeling of love or appreciation was still haunting her head. Tamamo loved humans as much as a person can love a pretty animal.
At least that's how it was in the first place in the eyes of the fox woman. The fact of seeing humans as something like toys was not the path that would lead her to meet the conditions to be the perfect wife she longed to be, but in the same way she tried, she tried to see everyone's point to be able to get what part was the most preferred of her and be able to polish it.
A perfect wife, a desire so simple and at the same time complicated, since it was not something that the grail could bestow, but Tamamo herself was the one who sought such a point of view and such interaction between others with her.
It was at that time that a new servant was summoned, in the second week that Tamamo had been in Chaldea was the first time he saw him and remembered the man's words almost as if they were words practiced ad infinitum.
"Greetings master, who do you want me to kill for you?
Emiya could be many things in the eyes of everyone, but when the truth about his origin was revealed, a bit of suspicion began to circulate through the man, since although he was an Archer, his spirit in the eyes of some Caster in Chaldea, revealed that he was stained to a twisted point.
She could evaluate a person with her witchcraft herself, but when she did it with Emiya, she did not know what exactly she felt.
Empty.
There was nothing.
There were no desires, longings, dreams or anything like that, but she could hear a thing inside the man's head, something that, despite the current situation, where she cooked and the man watched, she still became somewhat nervous.
Death.
Freedom in death, freedom from a life that didn't need to be lived or that was enough. Tamamo froze at the moment of feeling that feeling from the man for the first time when she inquired where she did not have to.
Emiya was nothing that one could see on the outside. Maybe he showed a bit of negativity and clearing at the annoying actions or errands they were given, but it didn't matter, he always ended up doing those little meaningless things to help others.
At first it was not a bad sight and she thought the man was a good person at the end of the day. All that until she was assigned as a partner in one of the singularities. She still did not understand why the master made her team to be Atalanta, Emiya and her, two goalkeepers who were in the front line.
The first major conflict that there was or witnessed from Emiya was when they arrived at a village where the inhabitants were infected with something and would end up being monsters.
Atalanta had flatly refused to finish the children, Tamamo herself did not think that this situation was the right one to deal with, although it was a danger to the section that had not been contaminated, the main idea was to deal with the infected and isolate them.
Emiya simply executed everyone as soon as he saw a slip from Atalanta. He killed everyone, each of those who were already infected being quarantined were executed instantly and without being able to even think about what was happening.
That time Tamamo saw how Atalanta had lost all sign of sanity and reasoning, then to start repeatedly beating Emiya to the point where he was only on the ground with his hands outstretched and a bleeding face.
She wanted to intervene before the brutality of her partner, blow after blow to Emiya's face, he did not defend himself, just accepted each blow as if it had been a fair exchange. Tamamo wanted to be positive, first and foremost, that the others could be saved before they finished falling into the infection, but in the end...
There was only that. An empty thought that gave by the fact that someone simply eradicated the problem at the root without the need for double thoughts. At that moment he was one of those that Tamamo understood something.
The value of life to Emiya was zero.
That contrast bothered her for a while, quite a lot, to tell the truth, but the worst thing was the time on which Atalanta, Emiya and she were mission companions, there was only that air of discomfort so that things did not happen to major.
The second thing she understood about Emiya was that he really was excellent with cooking and everything related to domesticity, being like something she didn't expect, was the good cooking that the man provided.
She had tasted the food of the supposed "chefs" who said they could make a good meal in Chaldea and within all of them, Emiya stood out for her almost zero participation in a group, always locked in the kitchen creating a delicacy worthy of gods as some divine servants said.
She included thought her kitchen was in another league.
Tamamo first tried a lot on her own to achieve a cuisine as excellent as the one Emiya had done that time, but every time, he only failed, there was no one to tell him "That her food was better than Emiya's", and it was not only in the kitchen.
Tamamo wanted to be the example of a perfect wife, but there she was, Emiya cooking better than her, cleaning better than her, tidying things up, taking care of the little servants... Tamamo felt useless next to Emiya because as far as any domestic activity was concerned, he did it perfectly.
That was why she had chosen to ask he for help to guide her on the path of domestic activities and how he could arrange everything so that she could be as good as he was.
The first interaction she had with the man beyond the missions was when she found him cooking, at that time she asked him if he was willing to show her how to make some dishes, but he only got a dry refusal and told her to get out of the kitchen.
Tamamo felt hurt, more than offended she felt as if someone had voted for her from some house and now, she was on the street.
Was that man always in a bad mood?
Again and again, she insisted until he finally agreed to help her only because he wanted her to shut up. Emiya that time she replied to Tamamo that she would help her if she remained silent could see the woman's ears descend and show a slight sadness.
But who was he to say anything else?
"You're doing it wrong once again" Emiya stood with his arms crossed watching Tamamo who was startled by that comment.
"But- "
"How many times do I have to tell you that the way to take the knife is wrong? "Emiya approached and got behind Tamamo, the woman's tail moved to the side leaving the way free for Emiya who stuck his chest with the woman's back.
Tamamo was cut by the sudden proximity, but she did not have enough time to be able to tell when she felt how the man's hands surrounded her own hands, Emiya's fingers were large and his hands hard, the result of training.
Tamamo turned her head and looked back, saw the difference in height, practically the man took out a head of height, but put that aside when Emiya's hands wrapped her.
"I think this is the only way you understand it "Tamamo didn't know if Emiya was doing this to upset her or was really unconscious about the situation, they put themselves, "I've shown you so many times how to put your hands, but you still don't accomplish anything.
Emiya put his hands on Tamamo's fingers and he made her take the knife correctly along with the correct way to cut what had been on the table.
" Is that so? "Tamamo did not feel a change with the way the posture had changed to hold the knife or how it had any greater degree of movement beyond the form of grasp and the location of the fingers.
"Well, now raise the knife and cut using the knuckle measure to give the symmetrical cut "Tamamo knew that, raised the knife a little and lowered it simply.
"Wrong.
" What? "She was baffled, for her it was a perfect cut, just seeing the onion cut it was obvious it was fine.
"You left the last two ends uncut and the left loop stuck because you didn't raise the knife enough" Emiya commented something that sounded trivial to Tamamo.
Wasn't he too perfectionist for a simple cut of vegetables?
Tamamo dropped the knife and watched as the man took the blade. At that moment as it always was, he felt something, no matter what kind of knife Emiya took, the simple fact that it was in the hands of the man gave that bad vibe.
As if it could be cut off at any time.
Emiya began to cut the rest of what was on the chopping board and Tamamo looked in detail as each cut was as neat as the previous one, it was almost terrifying to see how each section was cut in a way that she could bet that if she measured it each section would have the same size.
"You have to lift the knife more and not bend it so much" Emiya took Tamamo's hand out of nowhere.
" Huh?
"Your fingers are fine this way" Emiya moved Tamamo's fingers as if holding something and then ran her own finger through the palm of the woman who began to imagine scenarios, she knew very well she shouldn't.
It's not that she hadn't already been in this kind of closeness with the man, he was always like that, even in the missions, that's why she had no major problems spending time with Emiya, because even with the person he was, with everything he had seen him do and everything he had heard.
He never had any bad intentions from the beginning.
But it did not take away the fact that when some action had to be done that was against everything that could be considered as "heroic" or "just", the man gave free rein to it, among all those who were in Chaldea, not that the man had the best reputation.
He was hailed as a cook, that's true, and there were Servants who were even worse than Emiya, but they only looked at him, because he was one of the "sane" ones, he could talk and he could process what was said to him.
More did not mean that man understood you.
"You're doing better" Tamamo blinked and looked at the cuts she was now making alone. She hadn't noticed when it was the moment Emiya let her go to cut things off herself.
Had she been so lost in thought?
...
" Can't you stop with the perfect wife?
"Well... It's what I long to be, it's what I desire most, after seeing so much love from humans I-
"There is no love in humanity" Emiya's reply made Tamamo frown.
"You only say it that way because you have had the worst experience of this, I am sure that if you had seen it the same way I witnessed the essence, you would love humanity more and value the lives of others more.
A grimace came from Emiya when she heard those words.
"I don't need something like that, or I don't need unnecessary thoughts about what a person wants or what a person hates, all humans are selfish by nature, that's the only reality, what you see as love is nothing more than a distortion of the selfishness of wanting to possess something.
Tamamo slammed the table in front of her with both hands and looked at Emiya who was unfazed by her outburst.
Both were in Emiya's room, a table and two chairs on, a kettle and two cups. All ready for a conversation, a conversation that had become almost routine between them.
Tamamo had a second goal now with the passage of time in Chaldea, and it was a simple one.
Teach Emiya, that annoying and grumpy archer that unconditional love can be given and that it existed, that not everything was black or everyone had double intentions, or that selfishness had nothing to do with love.
"Love is a warm feeling, an emotion that rejoices and fulfilled longing, something that fulfills you, something that cannot be simply conquered by being "selfish" as you say.
Emiya raised an eyebrow.
"You may say that now, but isn't your version of the distorted love you're crying out to? "Emiya's question left Tamamo still who blinked in confusion and tried to think about what the man mentioned.
"I ... I seek that the person I consider as a husband call me perfect! Is not perhaps the most beautiful thing in love to be able to see your wife as a perfect being?
"It would just be a nuisance.
" What?
"Joy or fury, anger or sadness" Emiya raised two fingers while commenting on that, "strong emotions that can be linked with love, but among it is one that can only be given when "you think you love someone"
"Don't talk like love doesn't exist.
"It does, it exists, but you can never be sure that the reason that person loves you is because they're getting something out of you that they can't get from someone else.
" Emiya?, Tamamo sounded confused at the man's fist that clenched tightly.
"Loving something with all your strength, if it were a warm and comforting feeling, why does it hurt so much to the person who feels it most?
"...
There were no answers from Tamamo, there was no mention or anything like that, it was like hearing a fact that did not make sense, but at the same time...
Tamamo took Emiya by the collar of his shirt and made him go down to his face, the look of pure seriousness on the woman's face only made Emiya tilt her head to the side without understanding what Tamamo was doing.
" Haven't I just told the truth?
"You have said what you consider to be true, love is-
"That love that you call so much made eighty thousand people die by your hands and that you are the focus of that incident only for love "Tamamo averted her head. Emiya carefully took the woman's hand and lowered it but did not let go.
"Those were different times; people didn't understand anything about what was going on and-
"Aren't these hands stained with the blood of thousands of innocents? "Emiya put Tamamo's hand on his cheek. It was not a sign of affection or affection, nor something like a hope or show of love.
It was just a pure dry mockery about what she was capable of.
"Haven't all of us here stained our hands with blood, if that were the case, then why put a hand holding the hand of thousands in your face? "Tamamo moved her fingers and stroked the man's cheek and some of his hair.
"Because what you're touching now is the face of someone who has been stained with the blood of countless humans" an arrogant smile, one that only Emiya showed when she managed to make fun of someone, Tamamo knew because she used to see that smile often.
Only it was the first time she was the target of the man's smile.
"You cannot have done more evil than I did in life... The count of deaths I caused in life and after my death is-
A snort of amusement and Emiya sitting back down in shaking his head sideways as if in denial.
Tamamo inflated her cheeks at that gesture given by the man, once again he was mocking her as if he knew more about the situation than she did.
"I know your story thoroughly, every fragment of it, you are not the only one, I know the story of almost everyone in this place, and their concept of love is each more distorted than the last.
"Maybe you do, but no one knows you, no one knows who you are, even the master didn't get an answer about your existence"Emiya smiled sideways at Tamamo's statements.
"Maybe, but I'm sure of one thing, there isn't a single person who has committed more sins than I have.
One of Tamamo's ears turned to the side and looked at Emiya with a confused expression.
"Are you lying and telling the truth at the same time? "Emiya raised an eyebrow at that comment.
"I thought you said you wouldn't be interested in finding out anything about me as long as I can help improve your cooking, now you see if there are lies in my words?
"I don't understand... why do you call yourself a sinner?
"It's what I am, it's what we all are, no one is blameless, all of us who are standing here either for one reason or another have done something he did is questionable, even a death with honor or a duel in glory is nothing more than a simple murder.
Tamamo lowered her gaze and smiled. That action made Emiya regain interest in the woman.
"You've been alone, haven't you?
"I don't understand you" Emiya asked when the sudden question came out of Tamamo", it's not your thing to think, you just want to do simple things, what are you questioning now?
"You regret existing, I know that, you've said it many times, but now I realize something, that we are similar even if you don't show it" Tamamo let out a pleasant laugh to Emiya's annoyance.
" Would that be?
"We are both afraid of loneliness" Emiya narrowed his eyes at that answer, "I don't know how long you've been alone, but I've only spent a while... I don't like it, it feels like my whole being is forgotten, like no one can see me or like someone wants to avoid me.
"Then you just have to embrace loneliness.
Tamamo let out another laugh to Emiya's annoyance.
"Yes, that's what a heroic spirit would say, a being who truly cares about others, you are not the villain you think you are, Emiya-san" Tamamo's sweet smile left Emiya quiet.
The man didn't know what to say to that, because there was simply no way anyone would call him a "hero" after learning about his past.
"I have killed countless others, I blinded millions in life and in death instead of resting I kept killing again and again" Emiya stretched out her hand and put her fingers around Tamamo's neck who remained silent.
The expression on Emiya's face was terrifying, even her, who was optimistic and liked to tease and play to see things about others, how they reacted and how they showed.
This was too much, not that she had gotten any emotion from Emiya.
He just got none, and that was the scariest thing. Looking into the eyes, silver eyes that looked like a spiral without light and an expression devoid of any small sign of movement in his features, any muscle in the man's face was just still and showing that face.
A mask shaped like a face.
The man's touch on his neck was not warm, it was not something that felt like a hand, the strength of the grip was also not to intimidate, Tamamo's train of thoughts only left when a hard and cold hand squeezed her neck with a force that she did not believe the man possessed. Emiya lifted her by the neck as she stood up.
There was no time to think of anything when he saw that expression on the man's face, those eyes that seemed to be taken from some kind of creature.
"The look of humanity" Emiya slammed Tamamo causing him to fall to the floor letting the table, cups and teapot break, Tamamo inhaled hard before feeling something cold and sharp on his neck.
"You... "She felt betrayed, even if she didn't have to feel this way, she still felt that the man's actions were excessive.
"You know nothing of what it means to be human" the comment so devoid of emotion, so lacking in any emotion or sign of anger, annoyance or rage despite the words given.
Even if she knew that she could stand up to the man before her, she felt that, that primal feeling that every being had installed inside in any circumstance and in any type of scenario like this.
Fear.
"Even so... "Emiya was surprised to see how Tamamo hadn't given up on this yet. The pink-haired woman sat up and looked at the man with a defiant look" Even if the human seeks to destroy himself, sometimes he does it out of love.
"Idiot" Emiya crouched down once again and looked into her eyes, don't you understand? it is out of pure selfishness that someone falls before another, there is no feeling of happiness or need that you seek so much, love ... It's just utopian thinking for humans.
Tamamo's smile grew when Emiya finished that, the woman sat down and leaned her back against the wall and looked as if she had won Emiya.
"Even with everything you say, you don't reject the idea that love exists, do you? "Emiya was quiet and Tamamo laughed before coughing a little because of the man's grip.
Emiya wanted to scare her, he did what he did so that her hopes were not high, but in the end, she knew, maybe ... was she the one who best understood the man?
Emiya always did everything with a good will, even if it seemed wrong, she knew better than anyone that the man was not bad.
An idea came to Tamamo's head at that, an idea that made her smile and laugh happily making the man in red fold his arms before her.
" What's fun?
"you've said that love is something that is selfish, isn't it? "Tamamo saw the man nod," but you don't have any desire or any kind of longing.
Emiya didn't understand what the woman was saying.
"Well, I've been thinking about it, everyone seems to like me, but there is only one person who considers me annoying.
"You are" Emiya didn't have to think much about what she meant, rolled her eyes and went back to acting as before.
Tamamo's laughter came out for the third time when she saw the man's brow furrowing.
"Someone who is not interested in anything, who only focuses on helping, and at the same time does not need a wife because he is perfect in the role of wife "Tamamo laughed at Emiya's expression of indignation", then I decided, to be the perfect wife I will be your wife!
"... "Emiya opened his eyes, of all things, those words left him so disconnected that he did not know what to say or how to continue the conversation", what?
That last question was the smartest thing the man could say.
"What you heard, from now on, I will be your wife! "Tamamo cried out and stood up," someone who doesn't need another, so if I can make you need me, that means I'm the perfect wife!
"Your logic doesn't make sense, and then what? "Emiya swallowed when he saw the woman literally jumped on him pushing him onto the bed.
"Isn't it obvious, I'll be able to accomplish my goal! "Emiya saw the huge smile and blossoming excitement of the woman.
Tamamo's logic was simple. Emiya was good at all domestic activities, he was good with children and good at cooking, if she made someone like him see her as a necessity by his side?
It meant that she would be the perfect wife by managing to make the "perfect wife" she knew fall before her!
"This is a joke, right? "Emiya wanted to believe that none of this had happened, he thought that the threat and the way of acting would make her back from continuing to bother him.
How is it possible that he has only managed to motivate her even more?
"This can't be...
"But it is, dear~
"... "Emiya only fell silent when Tamamo hugged him and lay down next to him.
The current situation for Emiya seemed like a bad joke, a twisted one in every way.
...
"You don't have to follow me everywhere" Emiya turned one eye and saw Tamamo who had wrapped his left arm while walking in the halls of Chaldea.
" Of course, I must! "Tamamo's excitement was not gone, even with the passing of the second week, she was still with as much excitement to be by his side as she had done since that incident in her room. "A good wife could not be away from her dear husband~
"... "Emiya opened his mouth to say something, but he just closed it because he didn't know what to say next or what to do.
"You have a very particular taste for men" Emiya and Tamamo turned and saw the third member of their group.
Atalanta was standing on the side of the door that led to the dining room, it was obvious that she was waiting for someone, but seeing her with the expression of annoyance at just seeing Emiya... It was more than evident that she had not overcome what happened in that mission.
"Huh... I think I'm fine, he's -
"A murderer.
"Since we are all "Emiya's smile, a petulant one only unnerved Atalanta more", are you still upset that I do the work you didn't want to do?
A knife that had been on the left side of the inside of Atalanta's skirt came out and went straight to the man's neck, who drew a sword and stopped the blow.
"Wow... you really look like you want to kill me...
"You did it again on this week's mission.
"They had bombs and they were transmuted to them, it was the easiest thing, the others were going to die yes-
"Don't you have a modicum of decency to talk about the value of life to others? "Atalanta didn't put his gun down and just put more pressure, Emiya smiled more broadly provoking the woman more.
" Did you want to kill them yourself?
All signs of Atalanta sanity were gone when he moved her dagger and pulled out Emiya's blade breaking his guard, Tamamo had been left in the background, in just a split second, both archers had made a direct exchange to kill.
But when Atalanta blade was near the neck of the Emiya, both stopped.
They turned and saw a person walking, the face of the teacher who brought them all, the orange hair fluttered as he reached where the three servants were.
The order the teacher had given was simple.
Stop.
"You saved yourself this time" Atalanta backed down, but he wasn't going to accept what he saw sideways.
As the black sword in Emiya's hand had been only millimeters away from cutting it. She let her guard down, no, not that she had, Atalanta angered herself for thinking about it, she had fallen for the man's provocations and attacked leaving such an opening.
A beginner's mistake made by her...
Atalanta turned and looked at her master and the two Servants who were talking now, looked at Emiya who turned and winked at her only to disturb her once again.
That bastard only teased her to fall into his traps, but what Atalanta felt the most.
It was the man's real intention to finish her off the moment his sword almost grazed her neck.
...
"I thought I told you not to approach her, she's still sensitive.
"It's not like you can avoid a person you live in the same place with all the time, master.
A sigh from the orange-haired young woman was given at Emiya's words.
"Leaving that, Tamamo's things have already been moved to your room" Emiya felt her eyebrow tremble out of nowhere at such a comment.
The annoyance came when Tamamo jumped up and hugged him tightly.
" Was it necessary? "The only person who didn't seem satisfied was Emiya. Then Tamamo was laughing with his teacher about the situation.
"Well, being that Tamamo-chan always goes from her room to your room and that she is practically abandoned because all her things are in yours ...
"Already, I understand" Emiya sighed before putting a hand to his face and trying to put the situation aside.
" Besides, aren't they husband and wife?
"Please master, don't feed her emotion" Tamamo was more than happy to hear those words.
"They finally recognize us, isn't it your turn to call me my dear? "Tamamo's smile only drew a tongue from Emiya.
"You won't have it.
" How cruel! "Tamamo laughed before folding his arms and looking at the orange-haired young woman who was watching them," can he use a command spell to get me to call me wife or darling?
The young woman laughed at Tamamo's occurrence.
"I don't think that's the best way 'laughter and happiness were in the air when she said that', Emiya-san doesn't look like he be happy being forced to be called that.
" I know, but... I wish you would say it at least once...
"I'm still here, you know?
" And what should you call me then? "Tamamo turned with emotion.
"Silly fox.
" How cruel! "Tamamo raised his hands and made a sign that he was going to cry, but when she covered her face, she left a small space between her fingers to see Emiya's reaction.
"Let's just go in, yes? "Emiya sighed looking at the door of the dining room.
"Huh... well in the same way I wanted to practice my cooking, this time I will show you my improvement" Tamamo smiled taking back Emiya's arm and walking back towards the entrance of the dining room.
The orange-haired girl smiled when she saw how Emiya despite her constant refusal in words, let Tamamo be so close, she had seen it firsthand. If another servant got as close as Tamamo was doing then Emiya would just leave and leave that person in place.
It was impressive how the man began to accept the company of the woman with pink hair and fox ears.
...
"Ah... Tamamo gasped as she felt Emiya step inside her.
The excitement and pleasure mixed with the pain was always almost euphoric. It began almost three weeks after they were both married, she had tried to make Emiya fall before her that night, since they were already sleeping together.
But things turned upside down before she knew it.
A kiss was given by Tamamo to Emiya who reciprocated and started moving, Tamamo couldn't be happier.
Affection.
It wasn't a feeling that Emiya handled even remotely, but there was one thing that stood out from everything she knew about the man and that was the fact that even if he refused to the end to call her darling, wife, or in any loving way possible.
The man was a good lover.
That first night she had with the man was all it took for her to be the one to fall for lust and want more, and Emiya wasn't far behind either.
Tamamo's arms wrapped around the back of Emiya's neck and she hugged him when she felt the man move hard. This was something she wanted in the end; she didn't like it when the first time he tried to be gentle with her.
If she was going to be a perfect wife then she wanted her husband to be able to enjoy to the fullest what she could offer.
Another gasp with force came out of her, Tamamo lowered his gaze and saw how the man had bitten her neck, Emiya's face was relaxed, relaxed as she had never seen it, the third week was the turning point of both in their relationship.
A hand squeezed Tamamo's chest making her smile with affection, with total ecstasy and with greater emotion to see how a slight smile appeared on the man's lips.
Since that first time they had done it, it was practically another two weeks in a row in which they had relations almost always.
A twist made her laugh, lying face down and the man crouching down and leaning over her shoulder to kiss her a kiss before redressing tightly, Tamamo enjoyed every emotion, every sensation, and what gave her the most pleasure was the fact of knowing that Emiya himself was in them.
Pleasure.
Tamamo had a lot of talks with the man in bed where she had learned little by little the story of that bitter man, and in the end she was right about something, and that was that perhaps the purest being in all Chaldea was the man, the person with the best intention of all was always Emiya.
The desire to save them all, the unconditional love he should have for humans even if man rejected him... Tamamo began to go from thinking about looking to be the perfect wife to loving Emiya and being his perfect wife.
It wasn't something that could just be removed or thought about, it wasn't a radical change or something that could already be supplanted, it was a reality that she wanted with all her being. Even if Emiya only called her by her first name or some adjective and never called her sweetheart or wife, she didn't care.
It didn't matter because she could feel how the man appreciated her.
A load felt warm in her stomach, Tamamo felt her being filled once again like every night and could only let out a joyful laugh before turning and standing on her back and seeing the man who gave her something she didn't expect to see.
A grimace, an attempt at a smile, a crooked expression lacking the ideal faculty of a smile, but there it was, the ultimate attempt of the man before her to show that he was happy to have let her stay by his side.
"You really are a fool" Emiya hugged the woman tightly who laughed and returned the hug, Tamamo reached with one hand for one of Emiya's hands to intertwine the fingers.
At this point the primary goal of "perfect wife" shifted to "the perfect wife for Emiya", she didn't need to be someone else, she didn't need to strive to do things she didn't want or liked.
Emiya only wanted her by his side for how she was, even with how annoying she was at first, the man never did it, despite everything she always felt like she could count on the grumpy man, even if the doubt that if Emiya really wanted her was in her head at every moment she couldn't just let that stop her.
She knew she could fix that broken man, she was succeeding, listening and accepting.
A kiss came on Tamamo's cheek. Emiya was more loving than anyone could ever imagine, even without being called beloved or being treated as his wife to others, she did feel like the perfect wife when she was alone with Emiya.
In the loneliness of both they could see a little light, even when Emiya denied everything or did not want to accept that he really liked his company, in his head, the man knew, that it was late and there was no turning back.
He really appreciated spending time with that woman, being able to feel... Human in a way that made him feel as if everything that had happened was just a bad joke, that between the sea of memories he had and the way he had only spent all this time alone was nothing more than a fragment in his memory.
Emiya felt something he had never experienced for the first time in his entire existence, a fear he didn't know he could feel or could perceive again in this case.
He didn't want to lose Tamamo.
A big hug was given to Tamamo once again as her energy was renewed, the time next to that woman she considered annoying always passed too quickly for Emiya's liking, he was afraid that one day she would wake up and she was no longer around.
He didn't want to go back.
It's not that he forgot it, he never would, there was no person who knew better than he was what he was really capable of, and there was no person better than him who didn't understand his true nature.
Sword.
Cutting and killing, instead of protecting and caring.
It was just cutting and killing, he was never treated as human beyond the general treatment, he was always a tool.
"I really like you; you know?
Emiya smiled once more. He didn't understand why he was so happy with it, he didn't know why fucking with that woman who was initially annoying was one of the things he enjoyed the most in his entire existence.
He didn't want time to pass, he just wanted to feel the woman's warmth a little more.
Tamamo didn't know what she had really done specially to make Emiya whatever he was with her, but it didn't matter, at least she could rid his head that there would be some infidelity, after all, there was no one to put up with the man.
She just wanted to be a good wife, and for that her attention went to Emiya who fulfilled more the requirements of a wife than a husband, but she could not understand when she began to see the man as something beyond an ideal to follow for a perfect wife.
Was it his lack of regard for his divinity?
Indifference to their traits?
The one who simply treated her as an equal?
She didn't care, she just hugged tightly, Tamamo's hands, small wrapping around the man's torso and trying to hold on, the warmth between them was something that supplanted the cold of the man's body, that cold metal was no longer in his hands, now it was a forge that was burning.
And she was the fire that made that forge burn hard.
Both treated each other with indifference and total willingness, with desire and with longing to be able to share something more than they were used to.
One who only sought to get rid of a weight.
One who wanted to experience true love.
Both were only completed.
Emiya saw Tamamo's rosy face and the huge smile that was on him, the hand that had his fingers intertwined and his chest rising and falling before each blow.
The continuous gasps of the woman under him only made him want more, feel warmer, feel more human.
More alive.
Why was he excited, why did his heart beat at the simple fact of being treated as another person?
Tamamo did not seek out the servant Archer, the heroic spirit Emiya, or the wrought iron hero.
She only looked for that person who was hidden under all that layer of metal leaving in view only a heart that could beat, did not pump blood, pumped iron, was not hard as his body or as his being.
A crystal heart that wanted to emerge only once and be lifted with the care and affection it so desired.
Hope was not something Emiya was familiar with, not after so much time alone, not when he saw the sky rise and sunset arrive, with all that time there was nothing he could classify as hope at the moment of standing.
It was always like this for Emiya, staying alone until the end.
Warm arms that surrounded him as if reading his mind made the resolution, he had fragmented no matter how minimal. What was the use of being excited by a warm touch when it would only be frozen and accompanied by a perpetual radiant sun?
He did not look for an orange sky, a sunset, Emiya hated them, hated with all his being that fall of light, but what he hated most was that sunset that was immovable no matter how much effort he gave.
He didn't want to believe.
But touch and his body told him there was hope.
That at the end of all this, when Chaldea was safe, when the end of this path was given, then he could stay and be released with humanity in peace and without any threat.
No, it wasn't possible, she always...
She would call him always.
...
"Is something going on honey? "Emiya raised his eyebrows, the man's expression turned from a smile to an illegible countenance. Man, in trying to show true emotions, did not understand them at all to truly reflect them.
Pathetic.
" Honey?
Emiya did not understand it, why did she keep calling him that? he never returned the same affection that she provided, there was no reason for her to continue by his side, what had he done so much for her? beyond teaching her things and leaving her at ease near him there was nothing special he had done.
He didn't deserve her to call him that.
"Tamamo... "Emiya turned and looked at the woman who had stayed behind him. They were done in that thing, this place that was supposed to be the end of the journey.
A huge smile came out of Tamamo.
" Are you worried? "Emiya didn't want to say yes, but saying no wasn't an option either.
" What will happen in the end? "It was not proper for man to doubt, it was not proper for him to think too much, but since they had reached the seventh of those... fractures, things were not as before.
It had been too long, from the first day he was summoned to now, from the first day he interacted with Tamamo, everything seemed to have gone too fast.
He didn't like it.
"Well... I guess we will return to Chaldea and continue as usual "Tamamo's huge smile only made Emiya sigh. It was always like that, arguing about small things with her was pointless, Tamamo did not think much about what could really happen or what was wrong for the most part.
Not after both began to be together already in public, more than in public was the displays of affection already more unreserved. Tamamo jumping hugging him or giving him a kiss, a hug and the throbbing emotion.
A heart that did not beat that learned to move. Emiya hated Shakespeare for portraying their relationship, comparing him as the mythical being and Tamamo as the poor human who took a liking to that painful existence.
But what I hated most about the man was that he was real.
How long had it been since he had been summoned?
How much time had he spent at Tamamo's side at this point?
Emiya didn't like to feel safe around someone, nothing good ever came out after that, there was always something involved, a betrayal or a greater good, everyone wanted something from him in the end, no matter how pure the person was.
There was no one who loved Shirou Emiya as a human, but that incarnation who was supposed to have a desire as twisted as it was selfish...
Why did he just accept it that way?
"You want to go visit the sea, don't you? "Emiya smiled sideways as she saw the excitement spread on Tamamo's face.
"I wish, I want to relax a little and leave this whole business of saving humanity... it's not that I'm complaining, it's just that...
"I know, it's been a long time, isn't it? "Emiya asked and felt that those words were a mockery of his person.
Since they reached the end of the road, almost from the beginning, their arrival being almost simultaneous in the second singularity, and now they had crossed the seven singularities and the other six worlds that were affected for the future of Chaldea and humanity.
Years had passed, but at the same time no time had passed, Emiya wanted to believe that time was significant in that sense. That was why he had always stayed looking at the clocks in the kitchen or the timers of the appliances that were in Chaldea.
"You forgot, didn't you? "Tamamo spoke extending something, it was a pocket watch on which one could see the mechanism running.
The gears moved silently as time passed by every moment.
"Thank you...
"Ah, I couldn't be a good wife if I didn't know what my husband likes" Tamamo's huge smile only brought out a snort from Emiya.
"What made you think I'd like this? "Emiya really appreciated the gift, it was one of the first ones he had had from someone without expecting anything from him, that's why even if it was something temporary, she treasured the piece quite a bit.
"It was so many times that I saw you in the kitchen, I did not know why you focused so much on the timer, first I thought it was only because you liked everything in order and a correct cooking, but then I realized that sometimes you stayed spaced watching the clock for a few minutes longer than usual.
"It was a classic watch, the gears were in sight.
"I know, you always kept watching the gears turn, so I thought you would like "such an innocent gift and with such good will.
Emiya hated gears contrary to what Tamamo believed, he simply could not stop seeing them for the time that passed only being able to see those gears spin, a withered sky with gears symbolizing his machine state.
He always hated it.
But for the first time, when he had received Tamamo's gift, his first thought was to break it, but seeing the face of hope and pure happiness on the woman's face he only accepted it with a grimace and an attempt to smile.
"Even so, I hope that more things go well once everything is over, we only have the bad ending, right? Tamamo smiled at Emiya who sighed before sitting on one of the stones around him.
"It's not just a normal enemy, it's one whose very existence is a danger, I don't usually say this... But in the event that you see that the fight is lost, run, it doesn't matter if I die, I will come back and–
Emiya was interrupted by a hug that was given by Tamamo who approached him the moment he started talking about a possible defeat.
"You're overthinking the situation; you don't have because you think something like this is going to happen, just take it easy, yes? "Tamamo's smile was sweet, the embrace warm and the feeling comforting." You have said it yourself, if the worst happens only to lose memories, but we will see you once again in Chaldea, I bet I can make you my husband even earlier this time.
Tamamo's pleasant laughter reassured Emiya a little, he did not know why he was so nervous, it was the final stretch, yes, but he had already been in so many situations of imminent death that he did not understand the reason for his worry.
Was it the fact that Tamamo was in the main attack group next to him, but then that would mean he was really worried about someone else.
Emiya liked to be treated as a human, rather than a servant, the relationship between Emiya and Tamamo was that of equals, that of humans.
Was that why he felt afraid?
Why, if she was leaving, would he just be just another sword, it didn't make sense that, whoever spoke to her or touched her, wouldn't change the fact that it was a sword.
But only now... Before the warm embrace and the arms that received him in fullness, he could not help but think about his current situation.
He really didn't want Chaldea to end.
...
The enemy they faced was not what they expected, yes, there were indications that it could be that thing in front of them, but on the one hand there was the possibility that it was not so.
Emiya gritted his teeth and could only stretch out his arms and cover himself uselessly, the enemy's strength before him was not calculated... No, it was calculated, but facing something like that was different.
The orange-haired young girl who was her master could only look at the stage in front of her in horror.
ORT... Their strength was measured to an absurd level and they still managed to surpass that almost unreal point, the final enemy that everyone thought they could overcome as they had done so far.
That hope was nothing more than a bad illusion that collapsed when the first to fall was Atalanta, it was not an ordinary death, everyone had seen a fellow servant fall and go to the throne once, but what had happened at that time was something completely different.
"The soul... the spirit... everything was taken inside ORT... "The orange-haired girl couldn't help but whisper when she saw that, she tried to shout for them to stop, but it wasn't too late, her words didn't come and the seals didn't activate.
A simple gesture and the energy shot out towards them.
"Cú... Marie... Jack... "The young lady's face was deformed in horror, and she only saw on the side, in the smoke screen that remained after the ORT attack, as two figures were standing, rather it was only one, she saw it, Emyia's right arm destroyed, hanging without further ado, and the Aias in front of him, behind Emiya was Tamamo who was almost unharmed despite the impending attack.
"Take the master and run" Emiya looked sideways as ORT re-lifted those orbs that were around the huge being.
Emiya gritted her teeth and didn't know why, why was she doing this for someone who was going to die?
His body protected Tamamo as best it could, blood falling from the new wounds. Emiya was at a loss, heard a constant beep, and looked at his right hand, as the blades forced the flesh together, as the flesh was replaced by the metal.
As the iron took control of his body to be able to continue.
"Run Tamamo you... "Emiya raised his head and saw in front, any thought was cut off when he saw the pink-haired woman with a huge hole in her chest, the explosion passed through a gap, and ORT only needed a fraction to finish with the entire first team, the team that was going to be the reconnaissance team.
Tamamo reached out in an attempt to touch Eiya's face who was on the ground, but the green light completely took over the woman's body and exploded into pieces of mana and energy before flying over to the final enemy.
Emiya stood still.
Once again, he couldn't do it, not even putting his body, not even giving it his all. The world turned red for the man, he shouted at his master to run, he would gain time, it was the only thing he could do after all.
The swords came out of his battered body, the injuries stopped bleeding, but the blood became blades, blades that joined the little flesh that was right to let the man continue standing.
His right arm was nothing more than a pile of stacked swords connected to a hand that was tightly squeezing the blade of his sword. Emiya screamed, shouted his would once he saw his master leave the battlefield.
His world was created and he looked at the creature in front of him. He raised his hand and commanded to fly as many swords as he could, as many weapons as his body could give, everything exploded, the desert with the gears in perpetual motion were now shining before the rain of projectiles that did not stop detonating against that enemy.
She wouldn't go back.
Even if it was, they wanted to invoke her.
She wouldn't go back.
A louder cry came from Emiya raising his strength to the full, to the full of his ability, every sword at his disposal, every noble phantasm he could use, he used against that figure who stood imposing before him. What Emiya was doing was not the rational thing, he had to run and take his master with him, ensuring a future battle.
Why did he stay to fight knowing that he was going to die?
She was erased.
The world faltered when swords the size of mountains fell, all the mana he could draw from Chaldea was now being used, but the limiting as always was and will be his body, Emiya felt it, his body fragmented, he could not use as much mana as he was doing now, he could not drain as much as he was doing and above all...
He couldn't forgive that thing.
Why had he decided to believe this was a good idea?
Blood fell from Emiya's mouth, eyes and ears when his world collapsed and he fell on his knees before the unscathed figure of ORT, he did some damage, he could see it from the slight cuts, but... That had been his everything, all he could offer, and yet he couldn't do anything?
Pathetic.
It had always been that, Emiya smiled when she saw the glow in ORT, the green called around her as explosions came out beside her.
Maybe he could finally die at once?
What was he fighting for?
Freedom.
If ORT consumed him, wouldn't he free himself from everything that had happened?
There was no rest when his body ran out of strength on the ground, his legs were gone, and his right arm was now falling, the metal that supplanted the flesh melted giving way to wounds and damage.
Death.
Emiya took one last look at his left hand, as his body turned into green fragments before smiling.
He wanted to laugh.
Wasn't it pathetic? that question came in Emiya.
Even when he tried to defend the only person who saw him as a human, he could only become this... A sea of blood and metal on the ground that was disappearing. I wanted it all to end.
He wanted to go back.
He looked at the watch that Tamamo had given him on the floor before him, tried to extend his right hand, the closest, but the metal that covered the arm perished making him unable to have it on his fingers.
One more time.
Death and in agony, but Emiya didn't understand it at all, why did it hurt this time from all of them?
He had lived to die and died to die again infinitely, but for the first time, he felt as if something was taken from him.
What was that little feeling of guilt? he tried everything he could, he tried to protect Tamamo, she was alive, she...
He used his left hand as a lever and got on his knees, his left hand was the only thing he had left, he looked at ORT, now unscathed from all damage, his body huge and the creature's gaze fixed on him.
That thing had absorbed the servants who fell, Chaldea could no longer bring them back, they themselves could no longer return.
A sword was projected into his left hand and pointed at ORT, even in his state, unable to move and unable to even hold his body any longer with magic, he saw the giant's arm move.
A scream was given while Emiya raised the sword and waited for the impact of the creature, the impact did not come, before it could be destroyed it burst into green energy, its being was going to be taken by ORT, only Emiya's head and an eye were left slowly disintegrating.
"Okay.
He didn't speak loudly, he didn't say anything because his body was now just a fragment of what was, he just accepted going and dying, if this was eternal.
At least he would like to be next to that woman who treated him as a human and not as a sword, it was rare for Emiya, so long alive, thinking about overcoming loneliness.
And that energetic vixen comes to make see that life can still be lived?
It was stupid from the beginning to believe that something like this could happen.
He closed his eye and let his being be consumed by ORT, who finished lowering his arm and consuming every fragment of the Emiya servant.
The longed-for salvation.
The longed-for death.
...
Heat.
Emiya opened his eyes and saw himself once again in his desert, no, in his personal hell, he was just standing there.
" Chaldea? "The question was given as if I was waiting for some answer.
There were none.
No one answered.
Silence.
"... "Emiya walked for hours, looking at the swords, the endless leaves that were everywhere.
He was back.
Was it just a dream?
He stretched out his hand and tried to do it, he knew every part, every mechanism and how it worked, he had disarmed that watch dozens of times before the last fight.
That watch appeared in his hand, a pocket watch that when opened showed the time and the gears turned, but there it was.
Emiya's smile grew as he sat on a rock in the middle of the desert that was his personal hell.
He looked at the stopped time at the same point, but with the gears turning.
There was no time, no time or place.
There was no human.
That watch, the passage of time had thought of it as his meter, as his calming, as a memory that someone called him human and dear.
Emiya thought about it before looking at the orange sky full of perpetual moving gears.
"At least once... "Emiya commented almost unwillingly pressing the clock hard", at least once I had to tell her that she was a good wife...
Silence.
There was no one.
Swords set that seemed to laugh at the usurper's misfortune once again.
Emiya raised her hands and brought them to his face, the watch hanging from the chain was there, not changing the time, but moving the gears.
Almost a memory that he wasted time, that he missed the opportunity.
That despite having had all the time in the world to say that to the woman who professed her love for him over and over again, he didn't.
He ran out of time and without the possibility of saying "I love you" in the same way, calling he affectionately or dear.
He must have been more condescending, more mocking, playing with her more before this, because in the end... The human who had tried to return alone was plunged into the fire once again.
Emiya didn't change, neither did the world.
Nothing did.
The only thing that changed was the opportunity he had to talk to someone, to say something beyond a mockery or an empty word.
"I'm sorry... "Emiya whispered to himself. He wanted to tell her, but he refused, he didn't trust, he didn't believe it, why now in the lack of that tact is that he just understood how good she had been?
Emiya knew from minute one, she didn't deserve someone like Tamamo, even when she started it all on a whim and selfishness.
The feeling that taught him, that there really is love without condition, that one teaching now was the one he wanted to forget.
Because without it.
There was only a timeless sword left, a clock that did not change and gears that mocked because it was him, those wheels that turned high and the clock were always him.
A simple pawn, a simple cog in the system, and the biggest indicative.
That it was and will be a machine.
Love?
He must have thought about it, he must have guessed it.
He couldn't access that, he had no right, he couldn't have something as beautiful as someone's affection.
He only wished to forget, but the torture that immortality gave him was a cruel joke.
Kill to save.
Even Tamamo had said that he accepted his idea, that as corrupt as it was, it was with the best intention.
She called him a hero when everyone called him a murderer.
To Tamamo, Emiya was a hero and a perfect husband on his terms.
And for Emiya, Tamamo had achieved what she wanted, she really was a perfect wife, he would have loved to spend eternity with her, but there was something that Emiya did not understand, if it was really okay to feel something, to possess feelings, why only pain, why only loss?
Why wasn't Tamamo there to hug him? he liked it when he did, he was warm, but not like that withered sun in that immovable sunset that was his world.
Tamamo always said that a good wife would never leave her husband alone, so...
Why in the end was he left alone once again?
Where was he?
Why did he show her what it was like to feel when she was going to leave at the moment when she really began to desire something of her own?
He only wanted to be selfish once and stay with that woman.
But even if he didn't go at will, he had been left alone.
Foolish.
Emiya called himself a fool, if he had said at least once that he loved her...
Emiya looked at the ground and his hands, Alaya was calling.
A mission.
Ah... even now.
There was no rest.
...
First, I not into translate more stories, is so much work and probably is bad, I try my best but it's sure there are so much mistakes, but I really try to translate this one…
So much people come and say, "pls, translate" just because I understand it's not meaning I can write whit property, well, there is a translate.
If someone want to translate my work it's free to send a PM to me and we can do that.
Very well, if you like this even if has mistakes you can see my profile and the others stories, I have. Someone was translating one of my stories but now that person just disappear…
Rey de picas.