A/N: I'm thoroughly enjoying the feedback so please feel free to comment. The reaction to Shay's name even being mentioned is almost as strong as the hatred for Olivier, which I find hilarious. I love the strong reactions. Don't fret though because I have several chapters that I'm editing for your entertainment.
After a day full of dealing with whiny actors and picky wardrobe consultants, Delphine was exhausted. Despite her long day, she had promised Thomas they would hike Runyon Canyon. After changing, Delphine left to meet him at their usual spot. On the way there, she couldn't help but think it was odd that Olivier hadn't tried to bother her all day. She'd assumed the break-up would be a week long ordeal and that she might even have to take legal action.
She then imagined that his silence had something to do with his close relationship with his cast mate. Olivier had been spending time with Marion Bowles after filming for weeks now and after hearing that she was the one who provided him with a room in San Diego, Delphine was suspicious. Initially, Olivier assured her that Marion was too old for her to be concerned about. Age aside, Delphine knew that Marion was beautiful. Olivier also had a history of sleeping with much older women, so his argument was moot. Eventually she decided it wasn't her concern anymore and that she should count her blessings that he was leaving her be. She also knew that in reality, she was only considering this in an effort to keep her mind off of the fact the Cosima hadn't responded to her.
"Why so glum, Joues de sucre" Thomas inquired after seeing the dejected look on his best friends face.
She laughed briefly before replying, "I'm fine, just tired. Why did I agree to this again?"
"Because we are trying to tighten up my flabby ass so I don't have to spend another holiday season alone. Just because your love life is all kinds of interesting doesn't mean we forget about mine." He retorted with a sad grin and linked arms with the woman.
"I'm not sure how interesting it is I'm afraid…I may be in the same boat as you."
She said this while looking off into the distance at a couple who was holding hands. She thought about how hopeful she had been about the possibility of being with Cosima and being comfortable enough to be affectionate in public. She wondered if Cosima was the type to kiss upon meetings and departures. These things and more were all being considered when she thought there was chance for them to be together, but now she was saddened by the emptiness she felt.
"Uh oh, what did Dreadlocks do Honey? Did she love you and leave you? If she did so help me…"
"Non, relax Thomas…" She said, laughing at how quickly he jumped to conclusions.
"We just had a disagreement the other day and now she won't return my call. On top of that, I broke up with Olivier…Which was a nightmare as expected. He completely lost it but eventually he left and he hasn't been back."
"Wow, you didn't even bother to call me and tell me you were dealing with all of this? What am I here for, if not to thank God I'm not you right now?" He joked, while putting an arm around her shoulders.
"Vous petit trou du cul!" She shouted with mock annoyance and leaned into his embrace.
They walked in silence for a while before he figured it was safe to ask her what happened.
"So…I'm glad you got rid of the bum, but I'm curious as to what happened with your girl. Did she get tired of waiting a whole week for you to put out or…" He was still teasing but she was less receptive. It was obvious to him then that she was truly distraught about the matter.
"I'm sorry…really, what happened?"
"Well it's kind of a long story but the bottom line is she was tired of my indecision and she thinks we should be apart for a while…"
This confession caused Delphine to shake her head slightly. She looked directly at Thomas, as if to ask him what she should do telepathically. She was obviously out of ideas and Cosima's busy schedule was going to make them reuniting even more difficult. How could she attempt to repair their relationship over the phone?
"Well although I think she's being a bit impatient, as a gay man I can understand her reservations. Suppose she waits for you now, under the justification that it's too soon…How does she know you won't have an excuse in a month from now and so on…We gays are often burned by curious straight people, and it makes us weary of those that are trying to figure themselves out."
"I understand that, but why am I considered curious if I'm bisexual? I've never understood this disregard for bisexuality." She asked with true interest and thought carefully about how she should identify herself. She had always assumed she was heterosexual but the men she'd dated never made her feel this passionate.
"First of all, you have never expressed any interest in women since I've known you and you've never identified as bisexual, so I wasn't going to assume that you were. Secondly, do you even know if you truly like her in that way? Have you even kissed her? There is always the possibility that you guys end up in bed together and you absolutely hate it. Where does that leave her?"
Delphine hadn't considered this. She assumed she would enjoy any experience she had with Cosima. For her, sex was not merely physical, but emotional. The way she felt about Cosima all but guaranteed she would enjoy them being intimate. She also finds herself extremely attracted to Cosima physically and wants nothing more than to explore this side of their connection. Although she has had these thoughts, she realized she'd never shared them with Cosima.
"Vous avez raison mon ami... I have to tell her this. I'm finally free of my burden and I need to tell her before it's too late."
She was quickly reminded that she hadn't heard from Cosima all day and considered this obstacle analytically.
"How do I tell her if she won't talk to me?" She asked, truly lost as to where to go next.
"Well you have to seek her out and make her talk to you. If you make a gesture, she'll have to know you're serious."
Delphine acknowledged his words and stopped their ascent to look over the cliff at the city. This was an outward representation of what was going through her mind. Was she going to just stand by watch Cosima from afar, or was she going to jump into the unknown? Delphine felt she had her answer, but she wasn't sure where to start.
…
"Nice room…I wasn't aware female athletes got such nice accommodations." Shay noted as she walked casually around the room.
"Uh yeah…they don't. I paid for an upgrade….Do you want some wine? I can order some." Cosima replied, while tidying up the room.
"Yes. Do you mind if I get comfortable?" The woman asked as she was already taking off her heels. She spaced her clutch on the desk and walked toward the window to admire the view.
"Be my guest…get as comfortable as you like."
At this point Cosima was playing along but she felt herself phoning in her flirtations. She was definitely attracted to the woman, but the ease at which she had gotten her into her hotel room was a bit of a turn off. Although she was used to this sort of interaction, something felt off. She felt the sudden urge to drink in an effort to numb her senses. She reached into the mini bar and grabbed a bottle of vodka. Not typically her drink, but she was beginning to feel desperate due to the way Shay was looking at her. As the blonde approached her, swaying her hips, Cosima sat on the bed and awaited what was next.
"You just relax Baby, I'll take care of everything." Shay purred as she hiked up her dress and straddled Cosima's thighs.
Cosima watched, her legs still hanging off of the side of the bed, seemingly frozen. Cosima downed the small bottle quickly, before tossing it aside and putting her hands on Shay's hips. Shay began to writhe in Cosima's lap as she looked directly into the brunette's eyes. As she looked at Shay, a virtual stranger, she began to have a crisis of conscience. Why was she doing this? Did she really want this?
Noticing Cosima's hesitance, Shay took Cosima's hands and placed them roughly on her breasts. She then prompted her to squeeze them as she moaned into Cosima's ear.
"You can do whatever you want…" Shay whispered into Cosima's other ear as she continued to grind down into her lap.
Cosima reached up to unzip the back of Shay's dress and pulled it off of her shoulders. The dress rested haphazardly around her waist as Cosima caressed her then began to unbutton Cosima's shirt and placed kisses down her neck and collar bone.
As the pace of their movements increased, Cosima began to feel as though she wasn't really there and the she was watching what was happening. As the woman on top of her offered herself fully with no hesitation, she wished she was someone else. Although Cosima was aroused, she knew it was because she was picturing Delphine. She was picturing Delphine offering her body to her, as a sign of absolute trust and adoration. She imagined the way Delphine looked when she was on the edge and begging for release. She thought of the beads of sweat rolling down their bodies and the burn of exhaustion after hours of being wrapped up in one another. Eventually, the thoughts got the better of her and she reacted suddenly.
"I can't do this…I'm sorry, it's too much." She said after catching her breath.
"Did I do something? I thought this was your whole reason for approaching me." Shay asked with a puzzled look before halting her movements.
"It is, it was but I'm kind of out of it…I think I drank too much." Cosima lied, not even believing herself.
"Wow, well this is a new one for me…you were flirting with me all night. We nearly got kicked out of the cab because you were all over me and now you're just 'out of it'?" Shay said clearly stung by the rejection.
"I've just got a lot on my mind…I'm sorry I wasted your time, honestly." She genuinely felt bad for leading Shay on but she knew it would've been worse to try to sleep with her just because she was there. Neither of them deserved that.
"Alright…I guess I'm glad you told me before we got completely naked…" Shay replied beginning to find humor in the situation. She was glad she hadn't slept with someone who didn't really want her. That would've been worse than the rejection she was experiencing.
Cosima adjusted her clothes and got up to walk Shay out. On the way to the lobby she passed her coach and a few of her teammates. They were all grinning from ear to ear behind Shay's back, thinking she'd slept with her. Cosima just put her head down and proceeded to walk.
After putting Shay in a cab, Cosima pulled her phone out of her pocket. She looked at the missed calls and ghosted her thumb over Delphine's name. She wanted to call her so badly but it was late and she figured she was in bed with Olivier. Instead she called Samantha and asked if she could meet her in her room to talk.
…
"…I don't know, I just couldn't do it okay?"
"Listen to me carefully, Delphine is straight, has a boyfriend and you've only known her for a week…" Samantha all but shouted, attempting to reach her friend. She was beginning to doubt Cosima's sanity and she wanted to try and help.
Cosima decided to just come out with the additional information she'd been omitting since she'd began discussing this with Samantha. "I know that Sam but there's more…on top of everything, we've met before."
"Okay?" Her friend said, seemingly softening before prompting her to elaborate.
"In college, I saw her about to be drugged at a party and I pretended like I knew her so I could pull her away and warn her…" Cosima's face was expressionless during her confession because she was trying to appear neutral. There was no use becoming emotional and further concerning her friend.
"Oh wow…and you didn't remember her?" Sam asked, trying to piece together the unbelievable story she was hearing.
"Well I remembered the incident but I didn't recognize her. Back then I was pretty drunk, I only noticed it happen because I was checking her out." She laughed as she recalled this aspect of the story and continued. "I mean it was 8 years ago…She looks similar but her hair is different and she looks more mature." As Cosima spoke, Samantha's eyes widened at the implications of what she was hearing.
"Cosima…this is so unreal. You met years ago and now she's back, isn't that strange to you?"
Sensing what her friend was insinuating Cosima began to further explain the situation.
"No, not really. It's not as if I wasn't well known then and I've basically been in the spotlight since the London games. She knew who I was then and wanted to see me again…to thank me and to see if I really am an asshole like people think I am." Cosima explained in defense of Delphine. None of the woman's actions were strange to her and if anything, she herself was the one who prolonged their interaction.
"I see…well you are an asshole...but you pursued her and she is with someone else, so she doesn't sound like a complete stalker…Now that I'm no longer frightened for your safety, I think this is all absolutely…adorable." Samantha squealed with delight, as she imagined how the fates had aligned so they could meet again. It was a complete 180 from her stance just moments ago.
Cosima rolled her eyes at the insult and continued to make her case.
"I'm assuming you see now why I've been so intent on trying to be with her? I need to know why all of this has happened. There has to be a reason the two of us have suffered through these terrible relationships, only to reunite years later. That and Sam…she's totally hot, I mean you should've seen her in my kitchen. I had to summon all of my strength not to throw everything off of the kitchen table and…"
"…Okay, I get it! So what are you going to do?" She interrupted, not wanting to picture her friend doing anything involving a kitchen table and her new infatuation.
"Well she isn't single and I'm out of the country so I'm just going to wait and see what happens…" Cosima replied lazily, with a shrug of vulnerability.
"That's a proactive attitude. That's exactly how the hero gets the girl in all of the movies… Cos, I knew you'd figure it out…" Samantha replied with more sarcasm than usual.
Cosima glared back at Samantha before thanking her for her advice and retreating to her room. She knew she needed a plan but she didn't want to put any more pressure on Delphine. She was beginning to think she was trying too hard and that if it was meant to be it'd be.