Author's Note: WHOOPS! Got a new video game for my birthday and spent the whole day playing it so sorry if this chapter has a few errors...
;3; Very, very. Sorry... And just so you know, the idols are: Miku, Luka, Meiko, Rin, Len and Gumi. Their part of Idol-Loid/Idoloid aaaand Utauloids are; Teto, Momo and going to be a 3 person group while Idol-Loid is bigger.

- Northern Rabbits

Chapter 4 - Feelings other then Love

Meiko opened the white door with a shaking hand. Don't cry...Don't cry...God dammit don't cry! Meiko repeated in her mind. She couldn't let any one see these feelings. Feelings she didn't even understand herself. As she closed the door behind her and began walking down the long hallway towards the girl's washroom she thought back to when Miku had given her napkin to Kaito. That should have been her! Not Miku. Miku doesn't even like him! If she did, she would tell me! Right? Meiko stopped in front of the bathroom door. The pink "women's" sign seemed foggy and unclear. The young brunette strained her wet eyes. A salty water droplet ran down her cheek. The thought of Kaito being happy with something else...it tore right through her. She...hated it. She wanted to be the only girl he wanted to be with.
Meiko took a step away from the door. The tears were getting stronger and Meiko couldn't hold out any longer. If Luka were to come looking for her right now...

Meiko peeked through clenched eyes. She was running. Fast.

What am I doing? Why am I running? What am I running away from? Who am I running away from? Meiko questioned herself, but yet, she didn't stop running. Where will I even go? Meiko asked again. But she knew the answer to all the questions that were running through her brain.
She was running. She was running away. She was running away from reality. She was running away from Miku. And she was heading home.

In the rush to get away, Meiko left her bag and all her books at school. She wanted to think that Luka would bring them to her since she wasn't going back to school for the rest of the day. Maybe not even the rest of the week.

Before she knew it, she was at her house door, fumbling for her keys. Once found, she unlocked the door and swung it open with such force it hit the wall behind it and shook a few books off the bookshelves in the living area. Meiko didn't even bother to take off her shoes properly but she did make sure to slam and lock both the front door and her bedroom door. Once alone. She let it go.

The young teen fell to her knees and covered her face in her hands. Her tears filled in her palms like water in a cup but she couldn't care less. Hugging her knees, she leaned against the door and hid her face between her legs, feeling the tears rush down her calves and cheeks. The pain flowed out in waves, washing her over the edge each time. She felt like drowning in her sorrows but eventually, everything comes to an end.
She wanted to cry some more but a new feeling other than sadness flew over her. Anger.

Stupid Kaito. Why couldn't he notice her instead of Miku. Why did it always have to be Miku. Miku this, Miku that. What did Miku have that Meiko didn't?!

Meiko stood up and lazily walked over to her desk. A picture of Miku and Meiko sat on the clean wooden table. Meiko pulled a pair of scissors from her sewing kit and took the picture in her other hand. Carefully, she cut the picture in half and took the Miku half. Meiko looked it over with her reddened eyes. At first, she just wanted to see Miku again and maybe see what she needed in order to be more like her. Maybe Kaito had a thing for long hair? But she remembered the anger and dug through her sewing kit and carefully pulled out a needle and thread. She picked one of her smallest teddy bears (the one with the cute little teal bow tie) that she had gotten from Miku on her birthday and carefully sat down and began sewing the picture of Miku onto the bear. Once finished, she took the scissors and raised it above her head.

"If I can't have Kaito. You can't either!" Meiko screamed and slammed the scissors into the torso of the bear. The stuffing flew out and onto the floor around them and Meiko pulled the scissors out slowly, realizing what she had done.

"Oh god- What am I doing?! What is wrong with me?!" Meiko quickly hid the bear under her blanket and opened the door to head downstairs and get something to eat before she had to get ready to head to Idol-Loid Productions. She had a few lessons today that she didn't want to miss.

Meiko checked her face in her mini pocket mirror before opening the door and stepping inside. She had put make-up on to cover the dark marks under her eyes that formed after all that sulking and crying she did in secret earlier. She was wearing a red mini skirt with black leggings to keep her legs warm against the wind, and a dark red tank top with a black leather jacket. She always looked like she was ready to party, as said by Miku and Rin, but would never wear such things when she actually did go out to a nightclub on her days off.

When her eyes adjusted to the bright lighting, everything was silent, the other idols must be in the living space. Just then, Rin popped her head out of the kitchen and her face lit up with a young bright smile. "MEIKO-NEE IS HERE!" She shouted in her high singer's voice and jumped out into the small space between the kitchen and living area of the small apartment. Rin was wearing her usual big-white ribbon on her head with some black short-shorts and a yellow and white tank top. Len followed after her, wearing a similar outfit, except he wore longer black shorts and a white t-shirt with a banana on the front. Even if he could be a worry-wart at times, he loved to dress in unison with his older sister Rin. Being twins, it would just make them stand out more.

Miku jumped up too, running over to hug Meiko in her black poofy skirt, black knee-high tights and her favourite blue cashmere sweater with her hoodie tied around her waist. Luka stood from her spot on the couch and crossed her arms like she usually did. Now, she was wearing a long jean skirt and light pink turtleneck, with the sleeves cut off.

"Meiko-nee! I was so worried when Luka-nee told us you left early! Are you feeling okay? Are you sick? Say something Meiko-neee!" Rin began shaking Meiko by the shoulders, causing her voice to go up and down while she dragged out the e's on 'nee'.

"Rin-chan, don't shake her like that- Hey! Are you even listening to me?!" Len grabbed Rin's shoulders and began shaking her to get her attention.

"Rin, Len. Meiko just got inside, don't shake her so much." Luka grabbed Len's shoulders, trying to pull his hands off of his Sister.

"I WANNA PLAY TOO!" Miku jumped onto Luka and laughed wildly as Luka gasped in surprise and struggled to keep her balance.

Meiko watched as all her friends laughed and giggled to themselves without knowing what she was going through. It was almost as if they didn't realize she was sad. Meiko opened her mouth to say something but...

"Guys...I-" Meiko began but was hit in the back by an opening door. She flew forward, knocking into Rin, who was caught by surprise and flew back into Len. Len's feet were kicked out from under him and he fell, grasping onto Luka's legs for support. Luka couldn't handle the squirming mess on her back and the squirming heap in front of her and eventually gave up, falling flat onto Len.

The producer opened the door and looked over the situation. His finest idols were all jumbled in one big pile with Miku H. sitting on top, scratching the back of her head slowly and giving a dry laugh. "H-Hi Boss..."

After the mess was sorted out, Luka helped put ice on Rin and Len while their boss explained the 'big news' he had for everyone. The five of the idols sat on the couches and watched as their boss pulled something out of a big bag.

He threw a big colourful magazine on the table.

"Doki Doki Magazine, the famous teen magazine corporation, has agreed to letting us be on the front page of their next issue! They heard about us and want to interview us. If we play our cards right, we might be able to make a guest appearance at their next concert." Their boss tried to keep his smile hidden so he could look professional around a bunch of kids but soon he was smiling bigger than ever.

"Guest appearance? You mean, we get to sing on stage?" Luka was blushing slightly, the thought of singing for millions brought her absolute joy.

"Right! But, they want to see pictures of all the idols so we'll be doing a photo-shoot next week to send in to them. Until then, eat healthy and don't get into any fights- oh! And try to think of some ideas for the songs we will sing!" Their boss bowed down, placing some sheets of music on the table and a CD before waving goodbye and exiting the room.

"Awww..." Rin huffed.

"Looks like a different agency was on the front page this week." Len concluded Rin's thoughts.

Luka picked up the magazine and looked it over, furrowing her perfect thin eyebrows down in the middle as she tried to recognize who they were. "Utauloid...Never heard of them." Luka said bluntly.

"Oh! Gumi-chan was talking about them! Their a small group of three girls who became really popular not too long ago!" Miku flipped through the pages until she landed on their article. "This is Teto-chan, Defoko-chan and Momo-chan! Their all really talented!" Miku stood up, placed her hand on her chest and started to sing.

Fukkireta by Teto Kasane

I love you always. I received a kiss from you.
I cannot forget this precious memory of mine.
If dorayaki cannot become my main diet,
I'll just have to overwrite it my way.

I'm always watching by your side, so leave the backup to me.
From left to right, events pop up here, there, and everywhere.
Are you here right now? Isn't my birthday still some time away?
I'm reasonable enough not to believe in the invisible string of fate.

The sound of a parched heart and the shallow mutterings
are getting on my nerves precisely because they bother me.
Still, we need to have faith, be mannerly and polite to become happy.
For starters, how about some small greetings?

Miku took a breath and tried her English. "Ah..uu...eadee?" It sounded terrible. Falling asleep in English class really did take a toll in her life.

"Your English is terrible." Luka huffed. You have to speak the words like words. Not sounds." Luka placed her hand on her chest and showed off her English. "Are You Ready?"

"No fair. Luka-chan is just naturally good at speaking English." Miku huffed. How could she sing on stage if she couldn't even speak some easy English words? Little children everywhere were probably laughing at her.

"Maybe we should stick to Japanese only songs..." Luka rubbed her temples as Miku tried speaking English once again, but it all just seemed to sound like gibberish.

"But putting English words into songs are really popular nowadays!" Miku whined, trying her English again. "Ai...rove...uuu!"

Meiko looked at the sheets of music. It seemed like they had time for 2 songs on stage, and Boss wanted one slow and once fast. Having no songs of their own, writing their own music would be hard, considering everyone would want something else. Miku and Rin would want to sing a fast song they could dance to, but Meiko wanted a rock song she could really get the crowd pumped for. Luka wanted a love song she could put her heart into but yet, if Gumi wasn't busy with homework, she would probably want a song that really shows off her vocal skills.

Miku put in the CD their boss had given them and a voice recording came on.

"Ahem...is this thing on? Okay."
"Hello my wonderful idols."
"It's me, your boss."
"After hearing about the concert, I had realized we have no songs whatsoever."
"I know you all have been practicing your voices extremely well and I think you are all ready to sing a song I have created myself."
"It should fit all your needs and wants. So...here it goes."
"Enjoy."

Background music began playing and the song started.

Meiko went home with her red earbuds in listening to some songs for ideas, but all she could think of were sad songs about losing loved ones and being betrayed by friends. When she was home, she tried writing out lyrics to go with melodies in her head but all she came up with was...

Unknown

Left blinded in an alley,
Love has betrayed me...
Can I even say it was love?

My young heart has been ripped from me,
I want to look back on the past but there is nothing there for me.
Just a lost little girl who believed in fairytales.

I want to be a princess,
Wrapped in the arms of my blue-headed prince...

Meiko stopped. This one was about Kaito again. Why couldn't she stop thinking about him? And...Miku.

She pulled her knees to her chest and tipped back on the chair legs. "I know I'm young..." Meiko spoke to no one. "But I deserve love don't I?"

The chair tipped out further as she tried to make room for her head to slip between her knees again. "I don't want to hate Miku. I don't want to hate anything!" Meiko didn't even try not to scream. No one would hear her anyways. She pushed back farther in frustration and felt the chair legs give out. She fell backwards and hit her back on the chair, banging her head on the floor hard. Spots fluttered in front of her eyes before everything began fading in between fuzzy and pure darkness. She couldn't do anything about it, all she could do was hold the back of her head and cry.

Not only because her head hurt, but because her chest was equally as hurt. And there was nothing she could do about it. So for now. She could only cry. And eventually fall asleep.

SONGS: Fukkireta by Kasane Teto and the last one, I just made up on the spot to show how Meiko was feeling at the moment.

- Northern Rabbits