Back at the village, the townsfolk had gathered at the local tavern for what should've been Zancrow's post-wedding party. While everyone else was eating, drinking, and making merry with each other, Zancrow sat in his chair in front of a fireplace, still upset about his failed plan to marry Mirajane.
"Who does that Mirajane think she is?" Zancrow angrily ranted. "Turning me down… That girl has tangled with the wrong man! No one says 'no' to Zancrow!"
"Ha! Darn right!" Kain agreed, coming over with two mugs of root beer.
Zancrow snatched the two mugs from Kain and continued rambling, "Dismissed! Rejected! Publicly humiliated! Why, it's more than I can bare!" He angrily tossed the two mugs into the fireplace, causing a small explosion.
Kain asked, "More root beer?"
"What for?" Zancrow said despondently, turning his chair away from Kain and bowing his head shamefully. "Nothing helps. I'm disgraced."
"Who, you?" Kain exclaimed as he stood before him, holding up his head. "Never. C'mon, Zancrow, you've got to pull yourself together."
Kain: Gosh, it disturbs me to see you, Zancrow
Looking so down in the dumps
Kain tried to make Zancrow smile, only to get punched and sent flying into a table where a couple of villagers were sitting at.
Every guy here'd love to be you, Zancrow
Even when taking your lumps
At this, the villagers cheered for Zancrow, who just turned his chair back to the fireplace and continued wallowing in self pity. He was caught off guard when Kain puts an affectionate arm around his shoulder.
There's no man in town as admired as you
You're everyone's favorite guy!
Everyone's awed and inspired by you
And it's not very hard to see why
Kain turned Zancrow's chair around and Chelia, Meredy, and Yukino swooned over Zancrow, sighing in admiration.
No one's slick as Zancrow
No one's quick as Zancrow
He ripped the belt off Ichiya Vandalay Kotobuki, causing his pants to fall down. Ichiya exclaimed at this, "Man!"
No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Zancrow
For there's no one in town half as manly
Perfect, a pure paragon!
You can ask any Ren, Eve, or Loke
And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on
Suddenly, the Tri-Men Hibiki Lates, Ren Akatsuki, and Eve Tearm grabbed Kain and pulled him away, before they started swinging him around.
Hibiki, Ren, Eve, and Kain: No one's been like Zancrow!
A kingpin like Zancrow!
No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Zancrow!
Zancrow: (smiled smugly) As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating
Villagers: My, what a guy, that Zancrow!
Give five hurrahs!
Give twelve hip-hips!
Kain: Zancrow is the best
And the rest is all drips!
Kain lifted his glass high in the air, but unfortunately caused root beer to splash on Zancrow's face. Realizing what he's done, Kain smiled sheepishly at Zancrow who was dripping wet and irritated. Not wanting to get his butt kicked, Kain tried to hide his cup, only to get socked in the face.
Villagers: No one fights like Zancrow!
Douses lights like Zancrow!
Zancrow got into a brawl with the Quatro Cerberus team and bit Bacchus Groh's leg along the way.
Bacchus: In a wrestling match, nobody BITES like Zancrow!
Chelia, Meredy, and Yukino: For there's no one as burly or brawny
Zancrow lifted up the bench the girls were sitting on, showing off his muscles.
Zancrow: As you see, I've got biceps to spare
Kain: Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny
Zancrow dropped the bench onto Kain.
Zancrow: That's right!
And that is just plain as the gold on my hair
On 'hair', Zancrow showed off his yellow spiky hair shining like solid gold, much to Chelia, Meredy, and Yukino's delight.
Villagers: No one hits like Zancrow!
Matches wits like Zancrow!
Later, Zancrow was playing chess and when he lost, he slapped the chessboard in a fit of anger, sending it flying.
Kain: In a spitting match, nobody spits like Zancrow!
Zancrow: I'm especially good at expectorating
He took a bite out of a leather belt and spat it out, the shot ricocheting off its surface and making Ichiya and the Tri-Men hold out boards scored 10.
Villagers: 10 points for Zancrow!
Zancrow: When I was a kid, I ate four dozen eggs
Every morning to help me get large
He juggled some eggs and swallowed them. Kain tried to do the same trick as Zancrow, but the eggs ended up landing on his face.
And now that I'm grown, I eat five dozen eggs
So I'm roughly the size of a barge!
Zancrow began flexing for the crowd. All the men looked on with admiration, while the girls swooned and squealed at the sight of his muscular physique. He then shouted, "Flame God's Bellow!" Zancrow breathed a massive fireball of black flame at a large barrel of beer, breaking it in half and allowing the villagers to get more beer with their mugs.
Villagers: No one shoots like Zancrow!
Makes those beauts like Zancrow!
Kain: Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Zancrow!
Zancrow walked back toward his chair with his boots making a big stomping noise, and he sat down in a relaxing manner.
Zancrow: I use antlers in all of my decorating
He gestured to his wall of the heads of many beasts he had slain or defeated.
Villagers: My, what a guy, Zancrow!
The Tri-Men carried Zancrow's chair and Kain tried to scramble away when he realized the chair was going to land on him, but it was too late. SLAM!
As the villagers continued celebrating, a huge burst of cold wind blew in, followed by a desperate and snow-covered Elfman, who ran into the tavern.
"Help!" Elfman shouted frantically. "Somebody help! We need some manly help!"
"Elfman?" the bartender Bob asked. "What's happened to you? And where's your sister Lisanna?"
"She's at our place. She's safe. I told her to stay at home and rest up," Elfman explained. "That's why I came asking for your help! He's got her! That guy's got her locked in a dungeon!"
"Who?" asked Toby Horhorta.
"Mira!" Elfman answered. "Mira's been kidnapped! Thrown in jail! We've got no time to lose, guys. We need to rescue her, and show that guy not to mess with a real man!"
"Whoa, whoa, slow down, Elfman," Zancrow said, getting out of his seat. "Who's this 'guy' that got Mira locked in a dungeon?"
Elfman screamed, "A beast! A totally ugly beast! He's got golden dragon scales, big horns, and lightning sparking all over his body, like a battery!"
A brief silence passed. Then, the villagers burst into loud laughter, some people falling out of their seats and rolling on the floor. Everyone was laughing, except Chelia, Meredy, and Yukino, who seemed to be interested at this "beast" Elfman tried to talk about.
"I'm serious!" Elfman protested angrily. "A real man's always serious!"
"Come off it, Elf-Boy! A beast with lightning around his body? As in, the Lightning Beast?" Zancrow asked skeptically.
"Yeah, whose leg are you trying to pull?" Kain scoffed.
"No one's!" Elfman argued. "He's real, I tell ya! We saw that Lightning Beast with our own four eyes!"
"Really?" Zancrow raised an eyebrow. "And who exactly is 'we?'"
"Me and Lisanna!" Elfman explained. "We were on our way to the talent show, then those Lion-Wolves chased us, then we made our way to a creepy old castle filled with enchantingly manly furniture, and then the beast attacked! He locked Lisanna and me in the dungeon, until Mirajane came to rescue us! But Mirajane ended up getting herself locked up, and we were brought back to town by a rickety old horse wagon! That's why I told Lisanna to stay at home until I get some help! Help from you guys!"
"Ooooh! That beast you mentioned… It is a big one?" Chelia asked eagerly.
"Huge!"
"With a long, ugly snout?" Meredy asked with interest.
"Hideously ugly."
"And sharp cruel fangs?" Yukino added.
"Yeah, that's right!"
Chelia turned to her friends Meredy and Yukino and whispered, "Did you hear that, guys? Elfman said something about a Lightning Beast in some kind of spooky castle."
"Really?" Meredy asked. "I've heard rumors of a majestic castle somewhere in the woods, and it was ruled by a benevolent prince. But when the prince died a few years ago, the castle was desolated and written off the map, and no one's ever been there or heard of it since."
Yukino stroked her chin, intrigued, "Could it be that this Lightning Beast and the castle are connected somehow? And what Elfman said about Mirajane… she might be in big trouble."
"I think so… Maybe we should help Elfman and Lisanna," Meredy suggested. "Better yet, we should let our dear Zancrow help them! He's the town hero, and he never turns down someone in need of help!"
"Yeah… you're right!" Chelia nodded in agreement, along with Yukino.
Meanwhile, Zancrow smiled, "Alright, Elfman. Relax." He gestured to Rustyrose and Zoldeo standing behind him. "Well 'help' you out."
"You will?" Elfman beamed with hope. "You'll… You'll help us?"
"Sure!" Zancrow smiled sarcastically. "After all, we're your friends. And what are friends for?"
"Oh, thanks a million, Zancrow!" Elfman grinned in relief. "You're a real man to help us!" Just then, Rustyrose and Zoldeo grabbed Elfman and pulled him forcefully towards the tavern door.
"Have a nice trip! See you next fall!" Rustyrose mocked, and he and Zoldeo threw Elfman headfirst into a pile of snow.
"That should silence him for a while," Rustyrose smirked. The villagers once again burst into laughter. The three girls, on the other hand, were not amused at this insult. Instead, it was met with shock and anger.
"Hey!" Meredy shouted. "How could he just turn him down when he came here asking for help?"
Chelia nodded, "Zancrow has never turned down someone like that before. How could he be so harsh?"
Yukino added, "And besides, since Zancrow cares about Mirajane so much, why doesn't he help her right now? Come to think of it, he cares about Mirajane more than he cares about us. He didn't even notice us."
"For like, a hundred times!" Chelia agreed angrily. "Could he NOT be interested in us?"
"That crazy old Elf-Boy did it again," Zoldeo chuckled as he and Rustyrose walked back to their table, interrupting Chelia. "He's always good for a laugh." Rustyrose smiled and nodded in agreement.
Overhearing Zoldeo's words, an idea went into Zancrow's head, and he sat down to think. "Crazy old Elf-Boy, hmm? Crazy old Elf-Boy…" He turned to Kain.
Zancrow: Hikaru, you know, I've been thinking
Kain: A dangerous pastime?
Zancrow: I know…
But that wacky big clown's Mira's brother
And his sanity's only so-so
Now the wheels in my head have been turning
Since I looked at that loony big man
See, I promised myself I'd marry Mirajane
And right now, I'm evolving a plan!
He then began whispering to Kain, "If I…"
"Yes?" Kain asked curiously.
"Then we…"
"No, would she?"
"Guess!"
"Now, I get it!"
Both Zancrow and Kain shouted, "Let's go!" With that, Zancrow held Kain's hands and the two began waltzing around the room.
Zancrow and Kain: No one plots like Zancrow
Zancrow: Takes cheap shots like Zancrow
Kain: Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Zancrow
Zancrow: Yes, I'm endlessly, wildly resourceful
Kain: As down to the depths you descend
Zancrow: I won't even be mildly remorseful
Kain: Just as long as you get what you want in the end
Zancrow: Who has brains like Zancrow?
Kain: Entertains like Zancrow?
Both: Who can make up these endless refrains like Zancrow?
Villagers: So his marriage we soon will be celebrating
My, what a guy, Zancrow!
As the people in the tavern continued to dance and have fun, Elfman stood outside in the cold, wandering helplessly through the snow. He tried asking people in the streets to help Mirajane, but to no avail. "Will no one help us?" He wondered sadly.
On the other hand, the three girls Chelia, Meredy, and Yukino observed the scene from the tavern windows, expressing pity and high concern for Mirajane's troubled brother.
"Guys?" Chelia asked her friends. "Something fishy is going on. Something dirty, too. We need to find out what. But for now, let's help Elfman."
Meredy added, "By the terrified look in his eyes, it looks like he's honest. Like he's telling the truth. We've got to help somehow."
Yukino nodded in agreement, "The Strauss siblings are a bit crazy, but they're not that bad. What's so bad about getting to know them? Come on, girls. We've got to give him and Lisanna some company at their place." Chelia and Meredy nodded in agreement.
A few people actually believing in the Strauss family? That sounds interesting. What would happen next?