DISCLAIMER : Following the word itself "fanfiction", I do not own anything in this fiction and credits belong to the rightful creators of the manga: TOGASHI YOSHIHIRO, the publisher, the broadcasting companies of the anime both 1999 original version and 2011 remake - Nippon Animation and Madhouse, respectively and etc.

REPLIES TO COMMENTS

Infinityworlds : I'm sorry if I evoked such emotion (u_u ). I'm glad to know you liked the last chapter though ( ^u^) Sorry if this one took long.

Milye6 : Actually, the only thing Illumi said in the 1999 version about taking care of a dog was :
それはね、「必ず世話をするから犬を飼わせて」ってねだるのと同じなんだよ。可愛いのが最初だけ、いつか必ず飽きて世話が面倒になるんだ。
(It's all the same when you whimsically ask for a pet dog you promise to take good care of. At first you'll find it cute and all. But later on, you'll just get tired of it and taking care of it gets to be troublesome)
He didn't mention anything about killing it even though he regularly mentions althrough out the series that Killua would eventually kill everyone around him xD
Thanks! I'm glad you liked this chapter as well and also for finding me good with this genre ( ^u^)

YAAAAY! FINALLY THE BUG HAS BEEN FIXED! I was soo worried I actually sent an angry email to the techsupport xDDD It took me long to upload because I have been busy with my sketches last week ( ^u^)
Yep. Other than writing, I also love to sketch.

CHAPTER 19
- SALVATION -

"You're nothing but a shadow puppet of darkness..."

"You were born to be an assassin..."

"The only way you can look at a person is whether you can kill it or not."

"You cannot have friends..."

I was trapped in a dark void deep inside my conscience. It started to swallowed me in like a quicksand devouring a whole entity into oblivion.

I can hear nothing but my own thoughts, fears and anxiety screaming all at once in my throbbing head.

I hate how I can't defy him...

I hated myself...

I quivered in a corner, whimpering in despair as I watched him approach closer...

"Kill... it's pointless now..."

and closer...

"It's inevitable..."

"Just accept it..."

"You are an assassin. You were born to be one..."

"The more you struggle, the more painful it gets..."

"Just embrace the reality of your fate..."

He stretched his hand, reaching for my forehead as I can feel my world slowly started to collapse right before my eyes. My body felt like it was about to melt, and my head was about to explode... The pressure is just too strong...

"Kill... Just wake up..."

I can't resist it...

"Open your eyes..."

I feel like I'm being teared apart... I leaned to the wall, squirming... Hands trembling...

"Wake up..."

"Kil..."

"Wake up..."

No... I just can't stand it anymore...

"Wake up..."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~~!"

I screamed like I was about to disgorge the contents of my lungs out before I eventually stopped, panting...

I opened my eyes.

"Wake... up..."

That familiar squeaky voice.

"Kill?"

His tiny pale hand reached for my forehead, lightly touching it. My eyes fluttered open, trying to process everything into my head...

A dream...

It was a dream...

"Ah! Good you finally woke up..." He took his little hand back.

As things have started to become clearer, I found him standing right in front of me. His young, bare body had wounds, bruises and burns all over. I propped myself up from a slumping position, and scratched my head.

"I was a bit worried. You were trembling, flinching and screaming... it took long for you to wake up..." He spoke.

"Bocchama!" I exclaimed. "I'm sorry I had you worried... I fell asleep. It's good to know you finally woke up..." I stood up from my place and started shaking off the dust in my clothes, fixing it.

"Mm-hm..." He nodded. "I was pretty sore all over but rules are rules..."

I looked up at the torture device where he was shackled at hours ago to see that the shackles were broken, and the pieces laid down on the stone floor. He managed to break them the moment he woke up. As I was told, we can only come out of this chamber the moment he breaks loose of the shackles. And he did well enough after I brought him to a near death situation...

"VERY GOOD!" I gave him a smile as I bent down to his level, patting his bare, bruised shoulder... "See? I told you! You're strong!"

"Oww!" He winced and flinched.

"Oops..." I jolted my hands off of him.

I hope that things will be fine after I decided to spare him. After all, I have nothing to regret... I just found out to myself that I really just can't kill him.

This is the best way to end all of my suspicions about him. I am here to understand why. All of those questions I had as a child in mind. The questions he did not truthfully answer me. The questions that he answered me with a gruesome, twisted and sick realization.

It is for the better of us. It is finally to break this wall of discord between me and him. For me to finally know how to deal with his sick, deranged ways.

At least I must know the cause and the nature of his behaviour... There's a reason for everything. And that's what I have to find out before I could stop the whole problem from arising...

That's the right thing to do.

Killing him won't do anything good.

The person who set me through all of these mental and emotional torments and scarred me for life, and this child right in front of me is not the same person. Just like me, I can feel his suffering from the inside. We just shared the same pain only that he unknowingly have accepted his fate no matter how painful it is. He was left with no choice. If I managed to free myself from my fate, I can help him out too.

I can still make a change.

I can still save him...

...which meant saving myself at the same time.

It's not yet too late. That's the path I am taking right now.

"Sorry I had to add some extra voltages a while ago... Master Zeno instructed me so..." I took my tail coat off and wrapped it around him. "Can you still manage to walk back to your room? Or shall I call the medics right here to help you out...?"

"No need for apologies." He gave me back his usual soulless look, only with a gleam of contentment as he grinned slightly. "I am fine. Except for a few sore muscles and burns... I just wanted to sleep..."

"Hmm..." I nodded "You've been through a lot today so you just do deserve a rewarding sleep..." I carried him up and hung him on my back.

Although he wouldn't mention it, I can see he was glad and proud that he achieved something today. The look in his face as he leaned his head on my shoulder showed satisfaction and happiness that he was able to survive the test without serious damage.

"I will call the medics as soon as we arrive to your room..." I told him as we made our way outside the chamber.

"The medics will arrive soon. Just stay put till then..." He laid me down my bed and shoved a blanket above my small and fragile injured body.

"Okay..." I nodded.

The burns, cuts and bruises still hurt, and my muscles are sore all over. Some of them are even still bleeding. They just took my Tolerance Training to another level that left me into a state of shock. I wasn't ready for it yet.

"Does it hurt?" He asked me as he took a seat besides my bed.

I remained quiet. I refused to tell him that it did actually hurt. I am afraid that it might disappoint them and add more pressure unto me on my training.

"Uh... I-"

"Don't worry..." He spoke before I could. "We all have been there too before." He crossed his arms. "I know it still hurts. But the fact that you stayed conscious all through out and withstood all of the damages is commendable. After all, you beat the goal and made it succesfully. The next time youll experience the same amount of electricity and physical damage, you will be able to endure and withstand it with ease."

I felt relief. I managed to wrinkle my bruised face for a smile.

"I'll be giving you a reward if you pass the next test next week."

"Mm-hm..." I nodded. "Aniki..." I wanted to introduce a question to him. Something that has always got me thinking...

He lifted a brow looking back at me that meant for me to continue talking.

"I noticed... why do Milluki, Alluka and Kalluto don't undergo the same training as I do? Aren't we all brothers? We all do the same business... why does it have to be just me?"

"Haha!" His chuckles often sounded sarcastic even though I know he didn't intend to. "Because you are the heir... how could you forget? Silly..."

"But, what does it have to do with it?" I gave him a confused look.

"Because the heir must be the strongest. You have the most potential and we all do believe in you. We have high hopes for you. Just like Dad, or Gramps, and even Great ol'Gramps."

I pouted. My young and curious mind still can't grasp the logic behind what he said. I had gripes about how I always had to do this and that because I am the 'heir'. What is so special about being the 'heir'?

"But don't feel alone..." He continued. "I also underwent the same grueling training as yours..."

"Ehh?!" I uttered in surprise. "Really?"

"Mm-hm..." He nodded.

"But... but... You're not the heir... I am confused!"

"Because I am the one assigned to train the heir... It is my duty." He plainly spoke. "Only a diamond can scratch another diamond. I have to be strong too so I can train you well and make you strong..."

"Oh... I see..." I shrugged. "But I'm not equally as strong as you! Aniki is way way way way waaaay too strong!"

"If you will listen to what I say and you will do everything I tell you, you will surpass me. You are bound to surpass me at least."

"But Aniki... You don't have an Aniki like you who trained you to be as strong as you are now... Who trained you?"

His eyes looked right through my soul as he reached to grab my little bruised hand after I asked him the last question. Silence ensued. He just stared at me blankly like he was actually having a lot of debates running through his mind. I gave him back a confused look, feeling disconcerted with his heavy, mysterious gaze. His eyes ran from my eyes, to the corners of my face, to my hair before finally letting go of my hand.

"Who else?" He finally spoke, changing his usual monotone into a livelier one. "Of course Dad and Gramps trained me. There's no one else around entitled to do so..."

END OF CHAPTER 19