ALTERNATE ENDING:
After Hank gets splattered all over Fukagoat, his soul ascends to the judgment room of Allah. Hank bows before Allah.
"Allah, I have spent the last 4 months of my life as your faithful servant and I died a martyr."
"That you did, Mr. Hill…. Well, here's what I promised you. 72…"
Hank's excitement increases at the thought of receiving his 72 virgins. Hopefully, they'll be more attractive than Peggy."
"…. Bronies."
Hank sat there silently.
"Uhhh, 72 bronies?"
"Yep. Just as it states in the Qur'an. For those who kill in my name, they will be forced to fuck 72 bronies."
"Do what?! You promised me 72 virgins!"
"Gosh darn! All of you sickos come here thinking I'm going to reward you with 72 hot pussies. Why would I want you to kill in my name?! So to punish you, I will force you to serve as a sex slave to 72 bronies, who I assure you, have never had sexual experiences in their lifetimes."
"But it says 72 virgins."
"Yes. It also says 72 bronies. You see, bronies are synonymous with virgin. They both mean the same thing. It's too bad you and the rest of you terrorist scumbags think it means you get to pop 72 cherries if you kill in my name."
Suddenly, Hank was dropped into a pit. Hank fell for a few seconds before landing in a pink room. Suddenly, he was surrounded by grown men whose only sexual experiences were jacking off to My Little Pony.
"I'm gonna ride you like Pinkie Pie all night long!" One of the cretins said with a perverted smile to Hank.
"BWWWWWWAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
The end.