Chapter 15, Alexis's in Wonderland
By
UCSBdad
Disclaimer: Yes, I do own Castle. Tee hee. Gotcha. Rating: M, in places. Time: After Four of a Kind.
Chapter Fifteen: The Big Red One
The Martian army had been encamped by the canal for more than a week. With their settlement of Ekatrinburg only twenty miles away, the Russians had ample warning of the attack. The cavalry of the two armies had been skirmishing for days by the time the Martian army headed inland.
Rodgers and the rest of his friends rode on Earth bred horses to the rear of the army. Ryan, Esposito and Tseka had been left with the Kate B. with orders to keep the steam up and to be prepared for a quick getaway.
"God dammit!" Rodgers growled. "Look at the left flank. They're all bunched up. How many times do I have to tell them not to bunch up?" He yelled to one of the MASS humans riding near them. "Send a galloper to the left flank and tell their commander to keep them from getting all bunched up. They'll get shot to bits like that."
The Earthman called to a Martian and spoke to him in his native language. Then the Martian galloped off.
They rode up over a small rise and saw the Russian town spread out before them. The first thing you noticed was a fort, built of red Martian rock. Surrounding the fort was the town itself, everything from tents to crude lean-tos up to a large, brick Russian Orthodox church.
"They've left the town standing." Rodgers said. "That's good and bad."
"Why good and bad?" Becks asked.
"Bad because fighting in a city is about the worst fighting there is. The enemy is dug in and you won't see him until you're right on top of him and then it's damned near hand to hand fighting. It's good because if we can chase the Russians out of the town, we'll be right on top of their damned fort. If I had been in charge over there, I would have torn down the whole damned town so as to leave my people with excellent fields of fire all around. Maybe keep the brick church as a strongpoint."
He turned to Castle. "Rick, you ever see the movie Zulu?
"Yeah, but not recently. You want us to wear red coats?"
"Remember the Zulu tactics? The loins hit you in the center while the horns sweep around and crash in on your flanks. We're doing something like that today. Or at least we're going to try to do it if my damned army can obey orders." He yelled to another MASS member. "Send another damned galloper to the left flank. Not bunching up doesn't mean they wander all over the damned planet. They're milling around over there like a bunch of sheep. Get 'em moving."
He turned back to Rick and the others. "We have over ten thousand men. Pretty soon I'll start extending my flanks so that they'll wrap around their fort completely. That way they can't take men from one part of their wall face my main attack."
"And the main attack will be?" Becks asked.
"Hey diddle diddle, straight up the middle. Not a very complex tactic, but about all that my troops are capable of."
They rode up a rise just a mile or so from the town and looked down at the army heading for it. The buildings were still standing, but they could see people lining the walls of the fort.
"Maybe they left the town standing, but pulled all the people back into the fort. That would be…" Rodgers was interrupted by a volley of gunfire coming from the town. "Damn. We'll have to fight for the town then."
He stood in his saddle and yelled to a group standing near him. "Okay, play the charge." They lifted their horns to their lips and played something that almost sounded like the bugle call "Charge".
Castle and his friends made it into the town of Ekatrinburg, or at least what was left of it. The town was burning or had burned. There were only a few buildings substantial enough to burn very long. The church, with brick walls and a slate roof hadn't burned at all. Rodgers made his headquarters there.
Castle had ridden past the dead and wounded of both sides. A substantial blonde Russian woman lay by the church, apparently just resting. Until you noticed the bullet hole above her ear.
"Christ, I hate this." He muttered.
Kate reached over and took his hand. "I hate it, too. And I'm glad we hate it."
The best armed troops of the Martian army were forming up for an assault on the fort. The forlorn hope, as Rodgers called them, the people who would be the first to charge the walls with ladders and tools stood behind the church, preparing themselves as best they could. Rodgers was scanning the walls with his binoculars.
One of the MASS members rode up in a hurry, threw his reins to another Earthman and ran, shouting for Rodgers. "Sir! The cavalry is escaping."
"What cavalry?' Rodgers yelled back.
"Every Martian with any kind of riding beast high tailed it out of the back and broke through our lines."
Rodgers smiled. "I thought that their fire had slackened. I'll bet it's every man for himself in there." He turned to the buglers who'd followed him. "Sound the charge, if you please."
At the first notes from the bugles, the Martian infantry rushed the walls. Some were shot down, but many were not. A half an hour later, it was all over.
Castle and his friends found themselves standing over a tall, dark haired, clean shaven man who had been bayonetted in the calf. He looked up at them with hatred in his eyes.
"Where's Alexis?" Castle demanded. "The redhead girl. Where is she?"
The man just laughed. "My people will get me out of this shithole and then I'll come looking for you."
Castle pulled his Colt and looked down its barrel at the man.
"Sir! Sir!' Cried a Martian. "We found her. The redheaded Earth girl. She's here." Two burly Martians were carrying Alexis who looked like she'd been beaten and was wearing a dirty robe and apparently nothing else.'
"What happened?" Castle asked her softly. Alexis just began crying.
"We found her tied to a bed. She had no clothes on, sir." A Martian said.
"She was a lot of fun, though." The wounded man said with a laugh. "All of my people thought so."
Castle whirled around, his Colt pointing at the man's head. He slowly began to squeeze the trigger.
"Castle, don't." Kate said, putting her hand on his gun hand. "You're not a cold blooded killer. You're not like him and you don't want to be. Believe me."
Rodgers nodded. "You want to kill him now, but don't do it. Tomorrow and the day after and the days after that, you'll feel different. You'll never forgive yourself."
Castle putdown his Colt and turned away from the wounded man. Kate put her arms around him.
"I told you. My people will…"
His voice was cut off by a gunshot. When Castle whirled around, the wounded man was on the ground with his head in a pool of blood. Rodgers was holstering his Colt.
"But you said…" Castle began and then stopped.
"Sure, Rick. You'd feel awful about killing him. But not me. This is just another day at the office for me."
They took Alexis back to the boat and put her to bed in one of the cabins. She looked up at Rick and Kate and frowned. "Dad, what are you doing here with Judge Beckett?"
Back on the Moon, Castle finished explaining what had happened to Metford. "This Alexis is the daughter of writer Richard Castle. She's never heard of William Bracken as any kind of politician. Apparently Johanna Beckett is still alive and Kate Beckett graduated from Stanford Law School and became an Assistant DA in New York City and then a Federal Judge. That Rick Castle has written a series of books about a tough Federal Judge who fights to ensure that everyone gets justice. She's Judge Nicole Heat and the books sound fascinating. I've wondered what would have happened to us is Kate never became a cop, but apparently…."
"Apparently no one here cares." Metford broke in. "You need to get ready for your next Alexis."
"Where are we going?"
"Los Angeles."
"Los Angeles which is full of dinosaurs? LA full of zombies? Run by mobsters? Maybe by Nazis? Hell's Angels? Psychotic teddy bears?"
"No, it's practically identical to the LA you know."
"Practically?" Castle asked, suspiciously.
"You'll be briefed tomorrow." Metford began doing paperwork and said no more.
Once back in their Lunar condo, Castle gathered his friends. "Metford says we're going to an LA that "practically" like the one we know. I'm betting it's over run with Mad Max types or radioactive chicks in bikinis living in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Maybe..."
"Maybe we'll find out tomorrow." Kate said, kissing him lightly. "Let's go to bed, Castle."
They did, although Kate had to work hard to take Castle's mind off of what the Los Angeles they were headed for was like.
When they got up the next day, they found that their clothing had been delivered overnight. There were no flak jackets, or weaponry and nothing to indicate a toxic wasteland awaited them. Castle was almost disappointed.
What they did get were high quality, well-tailored suits and accessories for the men and high quality, well-tailored business suits for the ladies. The only difference that anyone could see was that the women's underwear was quite brief and flimsy. Castle was not disappointed.
After breakfast, they found themselves in Metford's office. He motioned for them to sit. "We have quite an extensive network of offices on this Earth. It's much more peaceful than your Earth, although wars are hardly unknown. But, they are experts at bio-engineering and genetic manipulation. Some of their inventions are quite amazing."
"Any of these amazing inventions ever get lose and terrorize a city?" Castle asked sarcastically. "Climb a skyscraper maybe? Nosh on the inhabitants?"
"Never." Metford replied. "You'll be transported to a parking garage on Wilshire Boulevard in LA. You'll be in a small room marked as a machinery room. Use this," Metford handed Rodgers a piece of slick plastic, "to open the door. Downstairs there's a taxi stand. Ask the cabbie to take you to this address." He handed Rodgers a slip of paper. "It's a rather nice hotel. The day after you arrive, go to the ground floor and go to the offices of Gorman and Brent, Import/Export Consultants. Someone will be expecting you."
Once at the red square, Castle checked his wallet. There were two credit cards from banks he recognized and also cash. He counted it out. "Hey, two thousand in hundreds, and guess what? Teddy Roosevelt is on the hundred dollar bill."
"Looks like we won't be spending them back home." Simone teased him. "Of course they might give you change in twenty five dollar bills with Aaron Burr on them."
There was a flash of blue light and they found themselves in a small, dark room. In one corner were five suitcases, each with one of their names on it. "Shall we?" Rodgers asked, holding up the key. There was no obvious lock on the door, but when the key was held near the door, it swung easily open. They stepped out into the hot LA day.
They went downstairs and easily found a taxi. Getting in, Rodgers handed the driver the address.
The cabbie looked at it. "LA Offshore Hilton. No problem."
Castle wondered what the Offshore Hilton could be. Certainly it couldn't be on Catalina Island or on one of the Channel Islands, or could it? He soon found out.
From Wilshire they headed for the Santa Monica Freeway. Unlike the freeway in either of their Earths, the Santa Monica Freeway went a mile off shore and ended at a towering building. The cabbie pulled up and a doorman opened the door for them.
Castle paid the cabbie and added a substantial tip. Walking inside, they went to the front desk where a young man smiled professionally at them. "May I help you?"
"Mr. and Mrs. Castle, Mr. and Mrs. Rodgers and Miss Renoir. I believe we're expected?"
The man's smile widened. "Yes, indeed, sir. Three suites on the seventieth floor. Our records indicate you've never been to the LA Offshore Hilton before?"
"Correct."
"The hotel has seventy two floors above the high tide level and six below the water. Your suites are facing the city and are the highest suites in the hotel. The three stories above you and the roof are restaurants, bars and clubs. The computers in your suites can give you full details. There are four floors of suites below the water or just at it, depending on the tide and two floors of restaurants and shops. The main floor here also has shops for you convenience, sir."
"That'll be fine." Rick said.
"Is there anything else I can do for you?" Getting a quick shake of the head from Rick, he called for a bellman to take their luggage.
The suites were magnificent. Each had a living room and a separate bedroom with a bathroom containing a tub big enough for all of them to be in comfortably, although Kate, remembering a similar tub on another Earth wasn't going to let anyone but Castle share their tub. No matter what.
Castle sat at the computer, which was nothing but a paper thin screen. When he put his hands in front of it, a holographic keyboard appeared. Castle began looking at the amenities the hotel offered. "Hey! Here's Gorman and Brent, just where Metford said it would be." He continued to look at the restaurants the hotel had. "Would you prefer the roof top restaurant or the one below sea level?"
"The rooftop." Kate said. "The one underwater sounds creepy."
Castle nodded. "I'll call Rodgers and…" just then the computer emitted a musical tone and he could see Rodgers' face in the screen. "The computer is a phone, too." He said. "So, Kate wants to go to the rooftop for dinner. Okay with you two?" After conferring with Becks, and then with Simone, they agreed to go to the rooftop to eat dinner.
They decided on surf and turf and sat on the roof, watching airplanes land at LAX and ships, from small sailboats to giant cargo vessels sail by. They ended their meal with an excellent bottle of wine.
Back in their suite, Castle looked in the refrigerator for some more wine and also found a bag of peanuts. Opening the peanuts, he accidentally dropped one. As he bent to pick it up, a pink ball of fluff shot out from under the bed, scooped up the peanut, squeaked and ran back under the bed. Castle got down on his knees and looked under the bed.
"There's a little cave or something under here."
"Metford said they did a lot of bioengineering here. I hope the little fellow gets more than just the occasional peanut to eat." Kate said, sitting on the bed.
"I hope he doesn't have a taste for best-selling authors."
"I'll protect you, Castle, but only if you get on the bed where I can keep an eye on you."
She kept and eye, and other things, on him for quite a while.
The next morning they went down to Gorman and Brent. They were expected.
Mr. Gorman talked to them. "We don't usually get involved in this sort of things. My people here are scientists. But I can tell you that the Alexis you seek is still on this Earth. In fact, she's from this earth."
Kate frowned. "If she's here, why are we looking for her? This isn't Castle the scientist's home Earth, so she can't be the Alexis we want."
"Someone tried to kidnap her, but her housecat killed them. And then Alexis ran away. We have orders to help you find her. Perhaps Mr. Metford wants to know if she learned anything about the other Alexis' out there. Perhaps he's worried about her."
"Metford? Worried about someone?" Rodgers muttered.
"The housecat killed the kidnappers? That must be some puddy tat." Castle said.
"They do genetic manipulation here. The housecat weighed two hundred and fifty pounds and was genetically bonded to Alexis. He would defend her to the death, which is what happened to the cat. Alexis' father is holed up in a recreational vehicle in a national park somewhere, cut off from the outside world. He does that when he wants to write. Her mother is in Africa with her second husband shooting a movie. They've tried to reach her, but with no success."
"Meredith is a movie star?" Castle asked, somewhat shocked.
"I wouldn't say a movie star." Gorman replied diplomatically. "Although she does make films."
Kate nudged Rick. She really wasn't interested in what alternate Merediths did.
"Alexis ran away?" Rodgers asked, getting back on track.
Gorman nodded. "We have no idea where."
"And we have no idea, either. So how are we supposed to find her?"
"We have the name of a private investigator who specializes in finding missing persons. Here's his card."
Castle looked over Rodgers' shoulder at the card. "You gotta be kidding me? Phillip Marlowe? That's your private eye? He's a fictional character."
"He's a fictional character and a very real LA private eye." Gorman replied. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have work to do."
They took a cab to Phillip Marlowe's office on Hollywood Boulevard. Castle looked up at the name on the building. "No. His office isn't in the Cahuenga building and it's not number 615. It can't be."
Kate frowned. "What's wrong?"
"When Raymond Chandler started writing the Phillip Marlowe novels eighty plus years ago, Marlowe's office was in the Cahuenga Building on Hollywood Boulevard. His office number was 615. If Sam Spade has his offices next door and Spenser is on the other side, I'm out of here."
Kate put her arm around him. "Come on, Writer Man, you can do this." And she led him inside the building.
On the sixth floor, they stood in front of a door marked: Phillip Marlowe-Confidential Investigations. They went in. Phillip Marlowe was sitting at a desk. Looking up at them.
"It can't be!" Castle moaned. "It's…"
Kate jammed her four inch heel into his foot to shut him up. She held out her hand and walked towards Marlowe. "Mr. Marlowe, I'm Kate Castle. You were recommended to us by Mr. Gorman."
Marlowe took her hand and didn't let go. "And just what can I do for you, gorgeous?"
"You can remember that I'm married. This is my husband."
Rick nodded, still favoring one foot.
"I'm Rick Rodgers and this is my fiancé, Becky Beckett." Rodgers put a protective arm around Becks.
"Simone Renoir." She said coldly. Although known in this world as Phillip Marlowe, she'd always remember the face as being that of her rapist, Tom Demming.
"So what can I do for you?" Marlowe asked.
"Is that your real name?" Castle asked.
"No, it's Thomas Demming. Any reason you need to know?"
"Just curious."
They quickly explained what they needed and provided a head shot of Alexis.
"Okay, I'll get my partner." Marlow said, reaching down behind his desk. "Time to get up and go to work, Sherlock."
A large bloodhound came walking around the desk to stand in front of Kate. He looked up at her. "What do you want to find this dame for?"
Kate was taken aback by a talking dog, and the fact that he was dressed in a double breasted suit and wore a fedora. "Pardon?" She managed. "Who are you?"
"McGruff's the name, finding people is my game. So, why do you want this chick?"
"She's disappeared from her home. She might be in trouble."
"And the cops weren't notified?"
Kate shrugged. "She's an adult. There's no foul play involved, so no police interest." She lied. The house cat had been killed as had two men trying to kidnap Alexis, but they didn't want to involve the police.
"Do you know where she was last seen?" McGruff asked, apparently satisfied with their explanation.
"Her apartment in West LA." Rodgers said.
"We'll start there."
Marlowe, McGruff and the Castles drove in Marlowe's convertible with the others following in a cab. McGruff picked up the scent at once just outside Alexis' door. "A dame left here and she was plenty scared. It's gotta be the mop you're looking for."
McGruff followed the scent to the curb. "She got in a car here. I can track her though. Get the car."
As they drove through LA. McGruff kept his nose outside the car.
"So, you're McGruff, the crime dog?" Castle asked.
"I'm Seamus McGruff, private nose, buddy, and don't you ever forget it."
They tracked the car to a seedy bar in the slums of Beverly Hills. Going inside, the bartender glared at them. "We don't let his kind in here." He snarled, looking at McGruff with hatred in his eyes. The other patrons of the bar glared at McGruff. Castle decided they were a rough and unfriendly crew.
Both Marlowe and McGruff got a determined look in their eyes and headed for the bartender.
Castle quickly stepped between the two and the bartender. "You mean you don't like a furry guy whose pal is going to buy the house a round?" He dropped a hundred on the bar. Then he thought about it and dropped another hundred.
"Seen this chick?" Marlowe asked the bartender.
Castle still had his wallet in his hand and a smile on his face.
The bartender nodded. "She came in here a while back with a blonde chick. They talked to Frankie in the back. "He motioned to a man who was better dressed than the other customers.
Castle dropped another hundred on the bar and they all headed for Frankie.
"Can I help you?" Frankie asked politely.
"You seen this frail?" McGruff asked.
"Never before in my life."
"The bartender says otherwise."
Frankie shrugged. "Hey, maybe I did. A lot of chicks come in here."
Castle dropped another hundred in front of Frankie. "You'd have remembered her."
The hundred disappeared into Frankie's pocket. "I do remember her, all of a sudden."
"What'd she want?" McGruff growled.
"She wanted a pistol, on account of she said she had people after her. But I couldn't help her. That would have been illegal."
Castle smiled. "So what kind of a pistol couldn't you get her?"
"I couldn't get her an M9 Berretta, military issue, with the fifteen round magazine, two spare mags and a hundred rounds of 9mm ammo."
"She want anything else?"
Frankie shook his head.
"Any idea where she went?"
Frankie shrugged. "Out the door."
Castle dropped another hundred on the table. "Thanks for being no help to us."
They got back in their cars and McGruff told them to keep going west. When they hit the ocean, they headed north on the Pacific Coast Highway.
"That was a waste of C notes back there, Pretty Boy." McGruff said. "They'll be drinking for a week on what you gave the bartender and Frankie would have rolled over on his mother for twenty bucks."
"Maybe. Maybe not. But we got the information."
They were in Malibu when McGruff spoke again. "Turn right here. We're not far from her."
McGruff led them to a rustic looking place in Malibu Canyon. "She's in there all right. I can smell her."
They all got out of the car and walked toward the house. Suddenly a blonde woman popped up from behind a hedge pointing a gun at them "Don't move!" She screamed. "You're trespassing. Now get off this property."
Castle raised his hands. "We're here for Alexis Castle. We think she's in trouble and we can help."
"Daddy?" Alexis cried from inside the house. "Is that you?" before Castle could answer, she ran out of the house and threw herself into his arms. "Thank god you came. They killed Pepper, Daddy. They tried to kill me." Suddenly she caught sight of a duplicate of her father and pushed Rick away. "You're clones! You're not my Daddy." The girl with the gun moved closer, aiming at Rick. Rick saw both Marlowe and McGruff reaching inside their jackets, presumably for weapons.
"No! We're not clones." He sent Marlowe and McGruff back to their car and out of earshot. As quickly as he could, he explained what and who they were to Alexis.
When he was done, Alexis just stared at them. It was then that the changes in Alexis finally got through to Rick. They were standing on level ground, but he was looking up at Alexis. He peeked and saw she was wearing boots with four inch heels, but that alone didn't explain the difference in heights. And her boobs were huge. He also noticed that her clothing appeared to have been painted onto her. Which turned out to be correct.
"Alexis. Um, what happened…You're…different?"
Alexis looked at him. "What do you mean? I'm just the way Mom and Dad ordered me. Six feet, one, red hair, blue eyes and 40DD boobs." She smiled. "I have a genius IQ of course, but who doesn't these days?"
"Ordered?" Castle was starting to understand, but…
'Daddy! Duh! Genetic modification at…"Alexis shook her head. "I forgot. You're not my dad. But, you can request your child have whatever physical or intellectual attributes you want. Can't you do that on your Earth?"
"No." Castle said. "Forty DD…Who? What? Why?" Castle tried desperately not to stare.
"Mom, of course. Oh, are you still with Mom back in…Oh, of course you aren't. You are both with Miss Beckett I see."
"Miss Beckett?" Kate asked.
"Does Miss Beckett have…Um…really big…"
"Castle! Don't you dare ask."
Alexis giggled. "No. She was born just before genetic modifications were approved. You both are mod free, as they say."
"So, we're together?" Castle asked, glad to get onto a safer topic.
"You write mysteries and she writes legal thrillers. I guess it was natural that you'd get together."
"So, I'm not a cop in this Earth?"
Alexis frowned. "No. Why would you give up a legal and literary career to be a cop?"
"So, my mom is still alive?"
"Grandma Jo? Of course. Did something happen to her in your world?"
"What about Senator Bracken?"
"Senator who? Never heard of him."
"He was an Assistant DA in New York, then a Congressman and then a Senator. William Bracken."
Alexis laughed. "You mean Bill Bracken, our doorman?"
"Doorman?" Castle and Beckett said together.
"Bracken was an ADA in New York, but he got involved with a girl who was under aged, although she sure didn't look under-aged." Alexis shook her boobs which Castle found very disturbing. "Some guys stop thinking when they see these." Alexis finished. "Dad knew the guy from playing poker with him and Senator Weldon, so Dad got him a job as our doorman. Dad's kind of soft hearted that way." Alexis shook her head. "Senator Bracken? Wait until I tell him."
"You can't tell anyone. They'll think you're crazy." Rick turned to his friends. "What are we going to do? Normally we'd take her back to her correct Earth, but this is her correct Earth. What if someone else comes after her?"
"She needs a bodyguard." Rodgers said.
"Preferably a gay eunuch." Castle muttered.
They called Marlowe and his partner over to ask about bodyguards.
"I got just the guy for you. Best bodyguard on the West Coast. "Bam Bam" Perlmutter. Nothing gets by that jamoke." Marlowe told them.
They agreed to hire the jamoke, as Marlowe called him, and decided to wait inside until he showed up.
"How long have you been with Mr. Marlowe?" Simone asked McGruff.
"Ever since I was born. We're a team in every sense of the word."
Simone frowned. "In every sense of the word? What does that mean?"
"We're married."
Simone managed to keep a straight face. "I hope you're very happy together."
Back on the Moon, Castle explained to Metford what had happened next. "It turns out that "Bam Bam" Perlmutter looks like Arnold Schwarznegger from the neck down and like our ME from the neck up. He's guarding Alexis now. Along with a new housecat for Alexis. But what are we going to do about her? What if someone comes after her?"
"Our technical people have figured out a way to track anyone moving through the universes that aren't from here. If anyone goes after any Alexis, we'll know about it and arrange a surprise for them."
When Castle and his friends left Metford's office to go back to their lunar condo, Kate could tell he was upset. "Problem, lover?"
He shook his head. "Not really. I just can't imagine myself, any of myselves, letting Meredith order Alexis with those giant…"Castle found he couldn't say the word.
"Boobs." Kate finished for him.
"Boobs." He said. "How can Meredith have made Alexis into some kind of a…bimbo?"
"Castle, she isn't a bimbo. She seemed like a very level headed young lady and she does have a genius IQ. Okay, she had painted on clothing, but so did that blonde that was with her. It's a local fashion statement. It's the sort of thing a young girl wears because her parents hate it. I did things just because my parents hated them." She grinned. "And a long time ago, I did things because I knew you'd hate them. " She stroked his cheek. "You know, the Alexis's we've met have been pretty good people. Some were a little wild, but none of them were evil. I think the Rick Castles have done a very good job at raising their daughters."
Rick smiled. "Remind me to tell Alexis what a great daughter she is when we get home. And let me tell you what a great wife you are."
"Couldn't you show me instead?"
So he did.