Part II
Mycroft had become cold and distant. His laughter change into a cold and heartless one and he barely smiled. A small curve would form on his lips, but even then it was forced and used as a last resort when discussing diplomacy. His way of coping through the great loss, I believe. He wanted nothing of those memories, neither did I. He was never one for much emotion anyway. Father and he were close, always talking about the political aspects whilst Mother and I would visit the library and read books on all sorts of subjects. She encouraged me to read as it kept a fist out of my face most of the time and my mouth shut. I couldn't stand politics; I knew I would never match up to their level. We as the Holmes lineage were raise not to show emotion. It was the downfall of the human race. It would hinder our way as we carried on in life. Mycroft was successful and held a high position in the government because he learned to become detached to the world. Faking sentiment for political gains soon became second nature to my dear brother. How I wish he would drop the shield and let me in, just like when we were children. Though we were raised to behave as adult since the day we were born, Mycroft and I would find time to act as children should. To have fun. To play and roll around in the dirt. To not wear a suit in our every waking moment. For once just to have on a simple shirt and trousers on, those were the best of times.
I am above my emotions; my emotions do not rule my consciousness. Caring is not an advantage, it never was and never will be. The only one power to dispute that fact would be Music. My Violin. My Heart. Through the power of music I could let my emotions run freely. John once said that to hear me play was to hear my heart, my essence, not just my mind speak. I believe it is so. I dare not show sentiment for that is a sign of weakness. I would be thought of anything except weak.
Though it is a curse most of the time, these emotions I have come to understand that us as mere humans have receive this blessed curse: Feelings. A blessed curse so strong even I cannot fight it at times. My violin is the one thing in life that has remained faithful to me before I met John. Now I have John and my violin. The two things I treasure the most. I have the utmost confidence John will not desert me.
The thing is, without my violin, I would be just as the world saw me a man without a heart. Merely just A Freak, A Psychopath, The Weirdo, The Machine...basically a man cold and distant from the world. I have a literal heart which keeps me alive, but to keep my figurative heart living I need music. My Estella.
A-N: Thank you for reading. Any comments would be lovely! :)