I do not own Smallville, Flash or Arrow. Warnings: mentions of death throughout the entire chapter. Please read and review:)
Chapter 14: Shocks.
A couple of weeks later, Clark received a call which he was not expecting. It was his father and he called him, saying that he and Nell were going to Metropolis and he was wondering if they could stay with him and Lois. Clark stayed silent for a while, then replied that that would be fine, before hanging up. He had not spoken to his father for months and he was unsure of how to act around his father. His mum and father were now officially divorced. Martha had moved back to Smallville and was now living at the Kent Farm with Conner, whilst Johnathan and Nell had moved into a flat in Smallville. Clark knew that his parents had spoken to each other and he knew that, deep down, they still loved each other.
The weekend of their arrival dawned on them and Clark was deeply resentful that Tess had gone away for the weekend in order to avoid their father and his girlfriend. On the morning of their arrival, Clark had to go into work, so he went to the kitchen dressed in his suit whilst Lois was wearing a dressing gown. "Could this day get any worse?" He asked, as he sat down next to the twins, who were happily muttering to themselves.
Lois sighed and placed his breakfast on the table, as she knew that he was too stressed to make it himself and she could understand why. "Clark, it might not be so bad. I mean, it's only for a couple of days-what's the worst that could happen, you've met Nell before?"
Clark ran his hands through his hair. "Yeah, I have, but as Lana's mother-not as my father's girlfriend and former mistress." He was silent for a while, then asked, "Where are we taking them, for dinner tonight?"
For a moment, Lois said nothing, then she turned around to face her husband and Clark could see the frustration already forming in her eyes. "Clark, you said that we should have a meal here, so I've prepared one. I've also made a list of things I can do with Nell, so that you and your dad can have some alone time, I'm sure you'll thank me later."
"Lois, I don't want to see him. I know he's my father, but seeing him is going to be awkward enough without Nell being there."
"And that's why I'll be with her to give you and your dad a chance to talk. He's your dad and he loves you, no matter what." When Clark made no reply, Lois walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him. "Smallville, he's your dad and the only one you're ever going to have. You have to make an effort, but I will support you no matter what, ok?" Her husband nodded and kissed her and the twins, before leaving for work.
As soon as he was at work, Lex could tell that his friend was in a bad mood, but he knew that it was best not to ask, because that would annoy Clark. Instead, he asked, "Do you know where Tess has gone with the boys?"
Staring at his computer, Clark replied, "Coast City. I think the boys wanted to see the sea." He was very annoyed that Tess was not going to be there, as he wanted her back-up, but he also knew that he had Lois, the twins, Oliver and Lex, so he knew that he did indeed have back-up, even if it were not from his sister. What he had found strange was that Conner had called him the night before and he asked him how the twins were, which both Lois and Clark had found very strange, considering that the brothers spoke very rarely. Conner had moved back into their family home with their mum in Smallville. After a long silence, Clark finally admitted, "My father's coming here in the afternoon and I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel about and what makes it worse is that he's coming with Nell. He and Mum are divorced now, but it's still... weird."
Lex nodded. "I know what you mean-the first time I met one of my father's mistresses, it was so strange."
"It's like I was telling Lois, though-I have met Nell before. As my ex-girlfriend's mother and now I'm meeting her as my dad's former mistress." Lex had no words of comfort to offer, so he left Clark's office and went back to his own. Slowly, Clark retrieved a photo from his desk-draw and stared at it for a while. It was of him and his parents and it had been taken the year before Conner had been born. In the photo, he was sitting in his dad's arms, smiling, looking happy and loved. If only he could be that innocent now and see his father in the way he had when he had been that age, but that was impossible, no matter how much he wished it to be so. He knew that no matter what, there were three people who supported him and loved him more than anything: Lois, Jane and Ben and that thought filled him with happiness, eradicating some of the dread which he was feelings regarding seeing his father and his father's former mistress and present girlfriend.
As the afternoon came upon him, Clark left his office and made his way home. He knew that Lois would be working hard on the dinner to ensure that it was 'perfect' for his father and Nell, even though Clark had told her that he did not care about the quality of the dinner, because he did not want to see his father this way; he wanted to see him alone, without Nell. An hour after returning home, the doorbell rang. Lois scooped Jane and Ben into her arms, before kissing Clark lightly on the check, then walked over to the door and opened it. Much to his surprise, his father and Nell looked as they had the last time he had seen them. Clark forced a smile and kissed Nell on the check, in order to be polite. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his father hugging Lois and then kissing the twins hello, then his eyes fell on him. Clark glanced at Lois, who understood and led Nell into the kitchen. For the first time, Clark met his father's eyes and was surprised that he saw so much love and warmth in them. Smiling, he said, "Hi, Dad. It's good to see you."
His father surveyed him with proud eyes, then replied, "It's good to see you too, son." He moved forward and pulled Clark into a hug, trying to relieve the tension he could sense in his son, but when he did not feel the tension relieved, he suggested that the two of them go for a walk, for some time alone. Reluctantly, Clark nodded, grabbed his jacket and followed his father out of the house. From the door of the kitchen, Lois saw them leave and she sighed to herself, before turning her attention back to her father-in-law's girlfriend. She already knew that she preferred Martha to Nell.
Clark and Johnathan made their way to the park, discussing topics such as football and cricket. Once at the park, Johnathan sat down on a bench, Clark followed suit and he could tell that his father desired now to have a serious conversation with him now that they were alone and the ice had broken a bit. "Son-er-I have two things to tell you. They're both important and you need to know, so don't say anything until you've heard everything." He paused, then asked, "Do you want the good news or the bad news first?"
Not looking his father in the eye, Clark replied that he wanted the bad news first. He assumed that it was going to be about Nell or his mother, but he said nothing and listened.
Johnathan sighed, then began, "Clark-I went to the hospital in Metropolis a couple of weeks ago and they-er-they told me that, with the right medication, I have about 6 months to live-with treatment-without it, I have a couple of weeks." For a couple of seconds, Clark stared at his father in shock, not knowing what to say. When he felt tears brimming in his eyes, he asked in barley a whisper, "Do Tess and Conner know? Does Mum know?"
Biting his lip and moving closer to his son, Johnathan nodded. "Yes, your mother was the first person I told and Nell knows too. I spoke to Tess and Conner. That's why Tess is away this weekend-so that I could tell you without having to worry about anything or anybody else. I'm surprised that Martha hasn't told Lois, but I understand why, because Lois would never be able to keep something like that from you." When his son just stared at him and said nothing, he continuing, "In the light of-that, I went to see your mother and she and I have reconciled… in the best way that an ex-husband and wife can. By the time I… go, I want to legally be bound with Nell. I love her, son, so she and I are going to get married tomorrow at a chapel. Do I have your blessing?"
All of the anger which Clark had felt before drained away and he looked his father in the eye. He just nodded, unable to speak a single word. He rested his head on his hands and closed his eyes, wanting time to think about what his father had just told him. Johnathan was still for a second, then he reached out and ruffled his son's hair, as he had done when he had been a child and he was glad that Clark smiled affectionately at that gesture. All Clark could think of was wanting to be in Lois's arms and holding Jane and Ben close to his heart.
When Clark and Johnathan arrived home, Lois instantly saw the tears brimming in her husband's eyes. She walked over to him, took hold of his hand and led him into the sitting room. Clark pulled Lois into a tight hug and cried onto her shoulder. He inhaled a deep breath, then told her all of what his father had told him. All that time, Lois just cupped his face with one of her hands and listening. When he was finished, she asked, "Is there anything I can do to help, Smallville?"
"I don't know-can you turn back time, so that I don't spend months angry with my father and now I find out he's going to die?" Clark snapped and tried to walk away, but Lois forced him to look at her and he saw that there were tears in her eyes. He cupped her face with his hands as she whispered, "I care about him too. I'm here for you, ok?" He nodded and kissed her on the head, before walking out into the kitchen. There, he saw his father and Nell crying in each other's arms and, with a shock, he realised that they really did love each other.
An hour later, Clark and Nell accompanied Johnathan to Metropolis General Hospital, as he had to have a check-up. Lois had offered to go to support her husband, but Clark had told her that he would be fine. Standing in the waiting room with Nell, however, he was beginning to regret that decision and he also wished that he had his children with him. He glanced at Nell and saw that she was fighting back tears, so he asked, "Nell, is there anything I do to help?"
Nell nodded. "Yes, Clark, there is: stop treating me like the enemy. I can see it in your eyes-you blame me for your parents' divorce and I understand that, but your father and I didn't do anything wrong-as far as I knew at the time anyway."
Frowning, Clark asked, "What do you mean? As far as you knew?"
Sighing, Nell replied, "I'll start from the beginning. I'm assuming your father didn't tell you that I was his girlfriend before your mother? He and I dated in high school-started when we were 15, a bit like you and Lana"- Clark moved uncomfortably at the mention of Lana, whom he had never really loved, not in the way he loved Lois- "we fell in love, you see. We were so happy, but then after we left school, your father went to Met U to do a course and he met your mother, who was at law school at the time I think. He broke up with me and they later married. My heart was broken and I married Lana's father, Henry Lang, but I never loved him as much as I loved your father: he was the love of my life. Who's the love of your life, Clark?"
"Lois: she's my wife."
"The two don't always go together-and they didn't in your father's case. He did love your mother, I don't doubt it, but it wasn't the same kind of love. When we met again, he wasn't wearing his wedding ring and he led me to believe that he and your mother had separated. I know now that that was not the case, but I didn't at the time. So, you see, I didn't know that your father was cheating on your mother in the way he was and if I had, I-I would've done it. I cared about Martha, she was my friend, I didn't want to hurt her, or you, or your brother or sister. I saw him again and all of those feelings came rushing back." She paused, then continued, "After your father was diagnosed with-this, the first person he called was your mother and then when he told me, he asked me to marry him and I accepted."
Clark bit his lip, then asked, "Why did he tell Tess and Conner before me?"
Nell shook her head and smiled slightly. "Because… you're the one he's wanted to protect more than the others. He loves you all so much-all he can ever talk about is you, Tess and Conner. It makes me quite envious. I'm only in contact with Lana, I don't even know where her brothers are." She turned to face Clark. "I don't expect you to forgive me straight away, Clark, but I would like it if we could try to be friends-or would that be too much to ask of you, given the circumstances?"
Looking in on his father in the bed through the glass, Clark sighed and looked back at Nell. "Given the circumstances, I think we can try to do that. This-event has changed everything, hasn't it? Would you like Lois to help you with clothes for the wedding?" he offered, as a way to 'be nice'. He was making the effort for his father, not for her.
Nell forced a smile and shook her head. "No, thanks. Lana helped me with that. I wish that the marriage were under different circumstances, but it is what it is, I guess." She was silent for a couple of seconds and her eyes fell on her fiancée on the other side of the glass and Clark felt his heart twist as he saw the love they communicated in a single look. "You know, Lana still isn't married," she remarked, changing her focus back to Clark, "she dated Lex for years and then he broke up with her. I believe he's married to Tess, your sister, now?"
Clark just nodded.
"Yes, I read in the papers that they've legally separated. Is that true?" Once again, Clark just nodded, not wanting to betray his sister or brother-in-law. Clark was pulled out of his thoughts when the man in question appeared behind him, looking concerned. "Nell, would you like a coffee?" Clark asked, as a way to move around, take his mind off what was happening and to talk to Lex. Nell said that she would love one, so Clark nodded and walked to the machine with Lex.
In a low voice, Lex inquired what was going on and Clark told him everything he had told Lois earlier. After he had finished, Lex exhaled deeply. "I'm so sorry, Clark. I'm here if you need anything, you know that." Clark nodded in thanks, then rested his head against the machine, out of frustration with himself. "I'm just-just so angry that I've spent months hating him and being angry with him for having an affair and leaving my mum, when he was so sick and now all of those feelings make me feel awful. I didn't even want to see him today and now…What do I do, Lex?"
"Stop beating yourself up; none of this is your fault and…enjoy having time with your dad because that time will be gone soon. This is coming from someone who's lost a parent, Clark, and believe me, you don't understand until it happens to you. I can't believe I'm saying this-but if you need support, Queen can help. He lost his parents. Make the most of the time you have left." With that, Lex walked away, leaving Clark unsure of what to do next.
Later that evening, Clark returned home, but Johnathan had to stay there for the night and Nell had offered to stay with him; Clark had also offered, but his father had wanted his fiancée there, so he respected his wishes and went home. Lois was sitting in bed, reading her book, wearing her glasses. "Smallville, how was the hospital?" Clark gave a very quick and short reply, then began to change into his PJs and he lay down in bed, turning his back to Lois.
After asking him another question and receiving nothing, Lois closed her book and snapped, "Clark, don't do this to me! Don't push me away, not now, when you need me!"
"How else am I supposed to deal with this?" Clark asked, in a similar tone. "I feel as if this is all my fault." There was a long silence, then he turned around to face her and she lay down next to him. Sighing, he whispered, "I love you so much." He reached out for her glasses and slowly slipped then off her face and placed them on the table and he cupped her face with his hands. Smiling, Lois whispered back, "I love you too, Smallville. I love your dad too and you have to let me be there to help you through this." Clark smiled back and kissed her passionately; Lois kissed him back with equal passion and she made her way under the covers…
The next morning, Clark was glad when Oliver texted him, asking him if he wanted to go for lunch together after he had visited his father in the hospital. He told Lois and was worried that she would be offended because he was not spending as much time with her as he normally did, but she understood and knew that talking to Oliver was easier than talking to her, even though she was best friend and wife. After visiting his father and Nell in the hospital (which was very depressing as his father was asleep all of the time he was there), he texted Oliver, telling him where he was and asking him where he wanted to meet up with him.
A couple of minutes later, Oliver walked over to him, in a suit and tie, with two packets of ready-made sandwiches. "I figured you might need something easy." His friend observed as he passed Clark one of his sandwiches. Clark nodded in thanks, then he sat down on the wall and Oliver did the same thing, opening up his sandwich. There was a silence, then Clark said, "Seeing him like that-it isn't what I expected. I've never seen him like that before and I can't bear the thought of him being in pain for months, knowing that he's going to die. He and Nell are getting married this afternoon." He added as an afterthought more than a proper statement. He sighed, then asked, "With your dad-your parents- it was quick, wasn't it? It was an explosion?"
Oliver was silent for a while, then he replied, "Yeah, it was. It was quick." He hesitated, then said in a gentle voice, "Clark, before my parents' plane blew up, I'd had an argument with them and I-I can't tell you how much that hunts me, every single day. You have a good relationship with your dad."
"I used to, until I found out he'd cheated on my mum," Clark confessed, "I was so angry with him, for betraying her and betraying us-what we had as a family. But I spoke to Nell and she and my dad do really love each other-they were together years ago as teenagers. I've spent so much time hating him for what he did, when really it wasn't about my relationship with him-having an affair didn't mean he didn't love me or Tess or Conner-he just didn't love my mum anymore. I know he doesn't have long left, I-well, none of that matters anymore, you know? All of the anger seems to have gone and now I'm just… sad that I've spent so long hating him."
Oliver smiled sadly. "Clark, talk to him, before it's too late. Make it right or, you'll regret it. Trust me, I know." Clark looked up at his friend and smiled; he knew that Oliver would understand better than any of his other friends, as he was the only one who had lost a parent. No matter how hard it was going to be, Clark knew that he had to forgive his father so that when he died, he had no regrets about their relationship. He did not want that for himself, or for his father.
That afternoon, Johnathan and Nell took their wedding vows and became husband and wife. After that, Clark went round to Kara's flat, where she was having dinner with her boyfriend, and told her about his father's illness and he held her when she cried. She said that she would tell her father first thing in the morning, as she knew that her cousin would not have the strength to do thus. She also told him that if he or his father needed anything, to tell her and she would help in any way that she could. Her boyfriend, Jeremy, seemed like a nice man, which also made Clark happy about leaving Kara with him when she was in such a state.
Upon returning home, Clark went to the bathroom and saw Lois was there, sitting with the twins in her arms. "Clark, can you bath them tonight? If you're not up to it, it's fine, but I do need to make dinner." Her eyes were begging him and he saw how tired she was; for the past day, she had been caring for the twins, as he had been so distracted with dealing with the problems with his father. Clark nodded and told that he would do it, before lifting the twins out of her arms and kissing on the forehead. Lois received the kiss with a smile, as she knew that Clark's way of dealing with stress to try to stay in control of everything else, so she was glad that he was showing her and the twins affection.
Running the bath, Clark placed Jane and Ben in the bath, with their toy ducks and sat down at the side of the bath, watching them play together and look up at him with loving and adoring eyes. The way I used to look at my dad. The comparison suddenly popped in Clark's head and he felt tears stinging his eyes as he watched his children. He tried to fight back the sobs, so as not to frighten them, covering his mouth, but he shock with the pain of everything that was happening and he never wanted Jane and Ben to experience this kind of pain, but he also knew that, someday, they would, as would Lois and all the other people whom he loved.
The next morning, Clark made his way to Metropolis General Hospital. At the door, he paused, upon seeing that his father and Nell were hugging and kissing, holding each other close. It made him realise, once again, that they did love each other and, even though Nell was not his mother, he could respect that. His father saw him through the glass and his eyes lit up and he signalled his son to enter the room. When Clark hesitated, Nell stood up and walked over to the door. "He wants to see you. Go in now." Much to her stepson's surprise, she leaned up her toes and kissed him on the check, before walking away. He walked into the room and sat down in a very hard and uncomfortable chair. "Hi, Dad. How are you?"
His father smiled and replied, "I feel a lot better now that Nell and I are husband and wife." He paused, then added, "Son, I want you to know that Nell and I loved each other years before I was with your mother and that doesn't excuse what I did, but…" he trailed off, seeing that his son was not ready to have that conversation. He sighed, as the silence drew on, then he asked, "So, tell me about your friends? Oliver, Chloe, how are they?"
"Yeah, they're fine, thanks. Chloe married last year, to Jimmy Olsen. They have a baby together." He saw something flash across his father's face and it was something which he had seen before, but not for years. "Dad, what is it?" Johnathan propped himself up against the pillows and asked, "So, they got engaged after Chloe found out she was pregnant? Hmmm… interesting timing."
Clark frowned and asked his dad what he was thinking.
Sighing, Johnathan answered, "I just think that she wouldn't have married him had it not been for the baby."
"Dad, they love each other!" Clark exclaimed, shocked at what his father had said. Since when had his father had an opinion about Chloe and her relationships?
Johnathan just nodded, but Clark could tell that he did not believe him. "Yeah, I know, son. But did you know that when Jimmy asked Gabe for his blessing, he said 'no.' I asked Gabe why and he told me that he didn't want his daughter to marry the wrong guy."
Clark shook his head, not wanting to believe his father. "Chloe and Jimmy love each other and, yeah, their relationship moved quicker than most, but they are happy together. I have no doubt that Chloe married the right person. There's nobody else that she could love as much as Jimmy."
"You're lying: I know you think that Chloe settled for Jimmy and that she wonders if he's the one for her. Son, if she really loved him, that fear wouldn't be there. Is it there with you? Do you doubt if Lois is the one for you?"
"No-I know it in my heart." Clark whispered back, before remarking, "Chloe and Jimmy do love each other and they're happy together. Gabe was probably just being overprotective, like you were with Tess."
There was a long silence and their eyes met, as Johnathan murmured, "Clark, I wasn't protective enough of Tess. She married Lex and now she's bitterly unhappy. She doesn't have to tell me, I can see it in her eyes and I'm not surprised they're legally separated. She married the wrong person. She may love Lex and he her, but that doesn't mean that they're meant to be together. Believe me, son. I can spot true love."
Clark found himself chuckling and he explained, "That's what Lois said at Chloe and Jimmy's wedding-about being able to see true love, I mean." He paused, then added, "I'm glad that you're happy with Nell, Dad."
His father reached out for his hand and squeezed it, as he whispered, "You're the child I don't worry about. Because you have Lois and Jane and Ben. They'll always be there for you, just as your mother will… just as I will." He gently ruffled Clark's hair as he had done when he had been a child and Clark smiled back, before standing up and walking out of the room. He knew that he needed to talk to his father about their own relationship, but he decided to save that until tomorrow.
Clark texted Lois, telling her that he had seen his father and now he was on his way to work, so that she did not worry about him, as she always did. As soon as he stepped into his office, he saw that Lex was there and he was not looking very happy. "What's up, Lex?" he inquired, as he took off his jacket and placed in on the back of his chair.
In a tight and rather unpleasant voice, his old friend asked, "Have you finished that report for me? You know, the one about the cooperation between the two companies?"
Clark shook his head and replied, "I'm sorry, Lex. I haven't done it yet, but I will. I promise. I know how important this is to both Queen Industries and LuthorCorp."
"Clark, you've had it for a couple of days! It should be done by now!"
Glaring at his friend, Clark snapped, "I'm sorry, but something personal came up and I'm finding it hard to deal with, so can you just get off my back? I'll have it done for you, I promise." He looked into his friend's eyes, but did not see understanding, but judgement. Lex stood up slowly and walked over to him. "Your father's illness isn't the problem here-it's that you feel guilty for how you've treated him after he walked out on your mum and if you'd know, you wouldn't have given him the cold shoulder like you did. It's the guilt that's eating away at you, Clark."
Clark shook his head in response. "No, it isn't that, Lex! It's the fact that my father is going to die. I'm going to loose my father, the man whom I love and… there's nothing I can do, but make him as comfortable as possible. This time next year… he'll be gone. I won't have a father, Jane and Ben won't have a grandfather and my mum-Mum will loose the only man she's ever loved. So don't presume that you know or understand what I'm going through, because you don't!" He was silent for a while and expected Lex to say something, but he did not. "I'm going to go and see my dad and talk to him-have a proper conversation with him. I'll have the report on your desk in the next couple of days. Please, just trust me?" He met Lex's eyes and his friend just nodded, before he grabbed his bag and jacket and made his way back to Metropolis General.
He saw that his father was lying in the hospital bed and looked really tired, but he walked inside anyway, because he wanted to speak to him about their relationship and he wanted to do it sooner rather than later. "Dad, I have a confession to make," Clark began as he sat down in the chair, "after Mum told me about your affair, I was so angry with you-not just for betraying Mum, but I felt as if you'd betrayed me as well, our family and I stopped seeing you as my hero."
"Son, after what I did, it's natural to be angry. Do you still feel that way now-am I no longer your hero?"
Clark shook his head. "No, you are now, because I realised that, no matter what happened between you and Mum, you're still my father, my dad, and even if you don't love Mum anymore, you still love us. I've finally distinguished between the two." He said the last bit with a sad smile and he saw that his father's eyes were full of tears. "I love you, Dad." He whispered.
His father squeezed his hand and replied, "I love you, too, son. And take my word for it: Chloe and Jimmy's marriage won't last." He sighed, then added, "I'm glad I'm accepted by you again. I was worried that I would die with you still hating me."
"Dad, I could never, ever hate you, no matter what you'd done." Their eyes met and Johnathan smiled a genuine smile, before asking his son about his grandchildren, as he knew that that was a safe and easy topic for his son.
That evening, when Clark arrived home, he saw that Jane and Ben were crawling around the house and that filled his heart with happiness, but this happiness went when he saw Nell and how miserable she was looking. He called Conner, asking him about their father's insurance and began to riffle through the documents in the living room. Due to his frustration with the entire conversation, he snapped at Nell, telling her to leave him alone and he pushed a glass off the table which smashed on the floor near where the twins were sitting. Their cries, because of the loud noise, was the last straw for Clark and he turned to Lois to see her picking up the twins and comforting them. His eyes met with her and, to his surprise, she was not angry, but he could see she was watching him with weary eyes. He walked over to her and murmured, "I've got to get out here. Love you." With that, he walked out of the house, grabbing his jacket and car keys. He made his way to Queen Tower, hoping that his friend would be there. He indeed was, as was Kara.
In Oliver's living room, overlooking most of the city, he made them coffee, then sat down on the other side of Clark. "So, how's it going?" Kara asked her cousin, after having a sip of coffee.
Clark sighed. "How do you think it's going? My father, my dad, is dying and there's nothing I can do for him. He was younger than me when he had me and he was always so strong-such a strong, determined man, and now he's there. And I-I need to be with him, I need to be his son, but I can't do that. It's too hard."
Kara bit her lip, then remarked, "Clark, I love your father, you know I do. But in almost a year, you have given more to Jane and Ben than he has ever given to you in your entire life. You're a better father than him."
Clark felt tears stinging his eyes. "He's always been so strong, someone I relied on and now, what, that connection will just go when he dies? I mean, what's the point? What's the point in having attachments, in loving someone, if they're just going to die? What was the point of Mum loving my father? What's the point in me loving Lois, if all that's going to happen is I'm going to die and leave her alone? When does it get better? What's the answer, can someone please tell me the answer?"
Slowly, Oliver placed a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder. "Clark, if you didn't feel this way, you wouldn't be human. Loving is part of being human and a by-product of love is grief, when the person whom you love dies. If you didn't love your father, your mum, Lois, the twins, you wouldn't be human. What you're feeling is normal and it's what makes you human." He could see a look in his friend's eyes which he had never seen before; it was defeat, he had given up on his father, because he knew that he was going to die. Kara threw her arms around her cousin and held him close.
The next morning, Clark went to Lex's office at LuthorCorp and heard that he was on the phone to Tess. As soon as Lex saw his friend, he ended the conversation and Clark walked into the office. "How are things between the two of you?"
Lex shrugged. "Well, they could be better, but they could be better." He pursed his lips. "Clark, I'm sorry about how I spoke to you yesterday. You're going through a hard time right now and I can respect that. I would be hard if you had a normal relationship with your father, but after everything that's happened, it makes it harder, right? Tess is pretty shaken up, although she knew a while ago. Have you spoken to your brother?"
Sighing, Clark nodded. "Yeah, but I can't tell what he's thinking. I have to go to Met Gen, but the report you asked for is on my desk." He threw his friend a smile before leaving the office. Lex turned to the window and stared out at it, wondering if he and Tess would ever be together again.
At Met Gen, Clark found Nell in the café and sat down with her, apologising for snapping at her the previous night. Nell told him that Lois had told her that he would apologise, as that was the kind of man he was, very like his father. At that remark, Clark smiled. Johnathan was asleep and he sat with him for a while, before returning home, as he wanted to see Lois.
Once home, Clark sat in the kitchen and played hide-and-seek with the twins. Lois came in, finding them and picked them up into her arms. In a gentle voice, she asked, "How are you, Smallville?"
"My dad's dying and there isn't anything I can do to help him and I feel as if, if I'd known, I could have done something or asked Lex or Oliver for help. My father-he-he never let me do anything for him, he never admitted his weaknesses. He was always the father, I was the son and that was how it was. Soon he'll be gone, then what I am? I'm not ready to live without his advice, his wisdom. He isn't a saint, but he's still my father."
Lois kissed him on the temple, then said, "Hold them, Smallville. Hold Jane and Ben."
With tears freely falling down his face, Clark shook his head. "No, I can't, Lois. I can't do that to them. They'll lose me too someday. I'll fail them like my father failed me." Despite this, he pulled the twins into his arms and Lois wrapped her arms around him, as the two of them cried, with their children between them.
The next morning, Clark made his way to Met Gen and the staff knew him so well now, but he was not sure if that was a good thing or not. He walked into his father's room to find his father standing up in his usual jacket and clothes. He smiled and walked over to him, producing something from his pocket. "Son, when you were born, your mother and I planted a certain tree in our garden and it's still there and you remember why it's there." Smiling at the memory, Clark replied, "Of course. I love that tree." His father passed him a bag of seeds and squeezed his hand as he whispered, "You and Lois plant these in your garden, then when Jane and Ben grow up, they can see them and know where they come from." Their eyes met and Clark understood what his dad was saying, so he nodded. "They'll know, Dad. I promise."