I'm a bit in a hurry today, so just the most important thing: Thank you for joining the journey and I hope you will continue to do so till it says "The End". But, some more chapters before that's going to happen, so…

Chapter 6

Turns out he didn't have to wake Deeks. Had he thought it through, he should have known that the high pitched noise of a drill was something that would alert the detective who had slept through various shoot-outs and explosions. Now Callen could only watch as Deeks woke staring at the screen, the emotions on his face veering between horror and confusion.

"Good, you're awake, how about dinner? I don't know about you, but I could use some food."

Deeks head snapped around though the fast movement made him wince and his gaze fixed on Callen. "Dinner?" he echoed bewildered, clearly not all the way awake yet.

"Yeah, dinner, the meal served in the evening? Sometimes referred to as 'supper'? Usually eaten prior to some sort of night activity? Or have you forgotten…?"

Grinning Callen caught the pillow Deeks threw at him and lightly tossed it back. Mission accomplished, the younger man was too annoyed now to remember what had woken him and how it had made him feel.

As a kind of retribution he ordered some food he thought Deeks might like for dinner and was rewarded when the younger man gleefully tucked in. His appetite seemed to have improved compared to lunch time.

"Thank you." Deeks said after Callen put away the few leftovers and dealt with the plates and utensils.

"I have to eat, too, you know. So don't sweat it"

"Yeah, but I think you chose food you know I like and not what you would normally eat."

"Well, you are not wrong, but luckily for both of us your idea of good food is mostly the same as mine. Unless you are on one of your weird save-the-world-and-the-environment trips, then we have had our differences..." Callen smiled at the memory of some really bad sandwiches. That time it hadn't been funny at all, but in retrospect... The smile turned down slightly at how there was a chance Deeks wouldn't remember those times.

Deeks just shrugged, having to take Callen's word for it. Absently folding and refolding a napkin he visibly hesitated.

"Just spill it." Callen encouraged. He still wasn't used to a Deeks that needed prompting to speak his mind. Normally it was the opposite problem, they were prompting him to keep some of his thoughts to himself.

"Well, thank you for letting me stay with you and dealing with me and all the circumstances that come with it. Like having more furniture in your house than you're used to."

"How do you..."

"You kind of keep bumping into it or looking at it like you don't know where it came from." His eyes flicked down and he seemed to shrink into himself a bit, as if he was expecting some sort of angry response.

"And here I was thinking you only had eyes for Hannibal, BA, Face and Murdock while not sleeping." Callen laughed, shaking his head. "It's fine, Deeks. You wouldn't be here if I didn't approve of the arrangements."

"But, why? I know you said we are teammates, but I still don't get it."

"For me, my team is my family, Deeks. So you're my annoying little brother I take care of when needed." Callen shrugged it off, noticing Deeks' wide eyed stare.

"Just like that?"

Callen shrugged again, not really able to explain any further. He pressed his lips together, realizing he'd flippantly said something Hetty couldn't have pried out of him with an expensive bottle of liquor or with years of conversations with double-speak and mind traps.

Deeks took some time to digest this information, opened and closed his mouth several times, but no words came out. Callen couldn't help the small grin – he should almost take a picture to prove to disbelieving partners. Speechless Deeks wasn't something often to be seen. Finally the younger man rushed "The doctor at the hospital, I mean the psychologist, not the other one, he said, he said that…"

Callen waited, outwardly patient although he wasn't looking forward at all with what he feared this reluctant groping for words was going to. But changing track yet again Deeks eventually asked "Sam is your partner?"

Callen nodded, still waiting Deeks out.

"Do I have one?"

"Sure you do." Callen nodded, inwardly wondering how far he should go with his explanation.

"So where is mine? You, Sam, Hetty, were all at the hospital, but my partner, where was she?" Deeks watched him with unabated apprehension.

"How do you know your partner is female?"

Deeks blinked rapidly, visibly perplexed when he couldn't answer the question.

"I, I can't tell you. I said partner and automatically added she, but I don't know why. I can't even remember a name or what she looks like." Now he started to sound upset and looked stressed so Callen continued.

"Sorry, Deeks, I shouldn't have asked you that. I just hoped you might remember more. And to give your mind some peace: Your partner is gone on a mission."

"On a mission? Alone?"

"That happens sometimes. You get an assignment for a solo task. You fulfill it then you come back to your usual kind of work."

"But..."

"I'm sorry, Deeks. I really am, but I can't tell you more right now. But nothing bad happened to your partner, OK?" Callen deliberately left out the fact that something bad could happen to Kensi. It wasn't the point and wouldn't do any good to tell Deeks who luckily didn't ask.

Deeks nodded hesitatingly, then took a deep breath and winced. He took the medication Callen promptly passed him with a sigh, looking pensively at the glass of water as if it contained all the answers in the world.

"I just slept, but I'm tired again, to quote a song 'I'm sick and tired of always being sick and tired.'" Deeks whined after some time.

Callen scoffed "You're healing, Deeks. There is quite some damage that needs fixing and sleep is a good medicine. And don't forget the food that needs digesting, the antibiotics for your leg and the pain meds, all that makes you feel tired, too. So just go to bed. I think that would be more comfortable than the couch."

Deeks nodded and accepted Callens' help to get up from the couch. If Callens' hovering on the way to his room with a short side trip to the bathroom bothered him he didn't say so.

"Well, that wasn't too bad." Callen mused and continued to work on his laptop. When he realized he would need some documents from his desk he checked his watch and decided to call it a day.

Callen woke as usual in the middle of the night. He sensed not being alone, but remembered Deeks before his hand went to the weapon he kept close by. He contemplated again why the younger man stayed with him at his house. He still couldn't really explain.

They had ruled out Deeks' apartment right away as too many people there knew him and would be confused by his behavior and thus confuse him and put unnecessary pressure on him. Sam and Michelle were willing to take care of Deeks, but there was no way they could do it at their home. A safe house was brought up but put down vehemently by Callen. There was no way he would put both of them in a foreign environment while he was staying with the recovering man. And to everyone's surprise there was no doubt to him that he would take the brunt of Deeks' care though he couldn't explain it any further than Sam having not enough time with his family as it was. Callen realized that he really wanted to take care of Deeks, so he just went with the feeling. Hetty made short work of Callen's lack of suitable furniture and entertainment to house a recovering person. Now he had some company for an unforeseeable time and was surprisingly OK with it.

The agent knew that he wouldn't get any more sleep right now so instead of tossing and turning in his bed, he silently stood up and padded to the living room on bare feet, barely managing not to bump into the couch that stood where no furniture belonged as far as he was concerned. He chuckled when he remembered Deeks comment about this. He didn't begrudge Deeks the comfort and would put up with it as long as it took to get the Deeks back they knew.

Thinking about what project might occupy him the next hour or two Callen stared into the room without really seeing anything. Then he heard the muffled scream. Callen was somehow used to the sound of gagged people screaming, and he just wouldn't think about the reasons why, so his only question was why Deeks sounded like that not why he screamed at all. Callen thought that Deeks had enough reasons for nightmares to guarantee some screams in the middle of the night. On silent feet the older agent rushed to his younger colleague's room and pushed the door open, hitting the light switch in the process.

Deeks sat on the floor, his back to the wall, and pressed his face into a pillow so his heavy breathing sounded muffled like the screams before. 'Never let anyone know that you cry' Callen thought while watching the shivering and trembling detective. He didn't come any closer, not wanting to risk the taller man lashing out at him in his fear, but instead addressed him with a stern voice from the door.

"Hey Deeks, come on man, you're safe here. Need you to focus on where you are, not what you're imagining."

Deeks head came up slowly but his eyes were still vacant. Sam wouldn't know that his partner could talk so much, but Callen kept up with a litany of soothing words until finally life came back to Deeks' eyes as he blinked several times.

"Callen?" his voice wobbled and he looked confused while taking in the room around. "Where am l? What…?"

When Callen sighed, Deeks gaze fixed on him, tears suddenly running down his face while he visibly swallowed several times. Callen knew that Deeks was going to be sick and fetched the small plastic bin standing by the door. He managed just in time to be at Deeks side so the man vomited into the bin instead of all over the place. When he was sure Deeks was done Callen went to the bathroom and fetched a glass of water, a wet wash cloth and a towel.

Coming back into Deeks' room he noticed that the man had maneuvered himself into a corner, legs up in front of him though that must hurt his ribs and leg like bitch, arms on his knees, head in his hands. Still trembling he didn't notice Callen coming closer.

"Come on, rinse and spit." Callen said and ignored Deeks' flinch when only now he noticed the older man right in front of him. He still didn't look up so Callen strained to make out the next words he mumbled between his hard breathing.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to be a burden, I…"

"Stop it right there, Deeks."

Deeks flinched again, clearly reacting to the anger in Callen's voice so the agent tried to tune it down.

"It's okay, Deeks, you're not a burden, you hear me? You need some help until you get better. We talked about it, you're my little brother and I want to help you, no one is telling me to do it. I WANT TO." Callen emphasized the last part to get his point over to Deeks, but it was as if the younger man wasn't listening

"I, I try to remember, I really do, but I get headaches and I feel sick and…"

"When do you feel sick? Why didn't you tell me? Maybe it's the antibiotics, we will check with the doctors. Come on Deeks, hey?" Callen kneeled in front of the younger man, carefully reached for his head and made him look at him. He hadn't expected the naked panic in Deeks' eyes. Panic, pain and confusion were plain to see.

"Marty, I won't hurt you. Please believe me, I would never hurt you intentionally. There is no reason for you to be afraid of me."

"I know, Callen. It's just." Deeks hesitated, groping for words "I know I can trust you and Sam and Hetty, I do, but I don't know you as a person. It's so confusing and I ask myself why I trust strangers despite not knowing them and I can't find a reason, there is just this feeling of trust, but there is no knowledge to back it up. I need some proof, some facts so I know I'm told the truth and I…" Deeks barely got the words out between his panting.

"What do you want to know? Maybe I can help, even with some proof."

"I, I don't know, I just…" Deeks helplessly shrugged.

Callen had an idea. "Can I leave you alone for just a second? I'll be right back." Deeks nodded hesitatingly and kept his eyes glued to the door until Callen returned with a laptop in his hand. The older man sat down beside him and a few clicks and passwords later they were looking at some photos.

"See, that's us at our last Christmas party." Deeks looked at the photos eagerly. He recognized Sam and Callen, but the woman at his side was a stranger. He guessed she was his partner. Callen confirmed his guess a second later. "As you may already have guessed the woman at your side is your partner, Kensi Blye. You mostly call her Fern just to annoy her. Or she may like it by now, who knows." Callen mused.

"She's brunette."

"Obviously, why do you care?"

"Something I said at the hospital and wanted to ask Hetty about, but" Deeks shrugged, left the sentence unfinished and kept going through the pictures, wondering where they had been taken. "Is that – a boat?"

Callen snorted. "A boat he says, don't let Sam hear that. Try aircraft carrier. This was only moments before Hetty came and traded places with Sam so he could spend the holidays with his family. Here, pictures from the year before. Those two are Nell Jones and Eric Beale, our Intelligence Analyst and Tech Operator. Once in a while you and Eric go surfing together. And Eric was the one who brought your DVDs. You were in the bathroom when he came by so you missed each other."

"You didn't wanna push another stranger at me?" Deeks looked at Callen and Callen grinned ruefully thinking by himself that Deeks was more perceptive than they gave him credit for. "That too."

Deeks just nodded with a sad smile and continued to browse through the photos. He wondered if he looked happy. He couldn't really tell, but it seemed so. Callen showed him more and it was just too much in Deeks' opinion to be faked. Not that he had any idea why anyone should even bother to fake those images. The longer they sat and looked at the laptop the calmer Deeks got and the more prominent the pain in his leg and ribs got. His need to see and hear more – Callen kept up with explaining what they were looking at – warred with the growing pain even when he stretched out his legs. Finally he couldn't stand it any longer.

"Sorry, but can you help me back up and to the bed? I'm afraid I'm too stiff to manage on my own."

"Sure." Despite Deeks being taller and heavier than him, Callen had no problems to help him back to his feet and into the bed. Being used to handling his also taller and heavier partner sure helped in that regard.

"Think you can sleep again or do you want some more pills?"

"I'll try without." Deeks said after some pause.

"OK. I'll leave the door ajar and in case you need something, just holler."

Waiting to see Deeks nod in acquaintance, Callen left the room and went back to his own.