"No... Don't... Please... Stop! No! STOP!" Matthew woke up crying. He had another dream about it. He looked over to the side to see Alfred stirring awake and turning over. A tired hand reached over to the light and turned it on and Matthew was met with his tired twin's shape.

"Did you have the nightmare again?" The younger twin nodded and went to the older's bed and laid down with him. Alfred took his brother into his arms and hugged him as he cried. Matthew had only been home for about three days and every night since he got home, he had woken up in the middle of the night screaming and crying as the result of a nightmare of what happened.

A light tap at the door was heard and then it opened to show Arthur in his robe, rubbing at his eyes. Matthew cried loud enough to wake him and he thought he might as well try to calm his son dow from the nightmare. He'd known what Matthew was going through having gone through it himself. When he first left his parents and got an apartment of his own he would wake up screaming in the night from the memories. Getting over that kind of physical and, often, mental hurt was never easy and he'd need a lot of help. Arthur could remember some of the cold nights he stayed up because it seemed that every time he closed his eyes he'd see the faces of men he had to sleep with. It was a trying time for Arthur, even now that it happened to his own son.

"Matthew had the nightmare again?" He asked but it was painfully obvious. The flashbacks of what happened played as a nightmare again only Matthew had imagined it even worse. In the nightmare he was running and he tripped, falling flat on his face and when he turned around and tried to get up but he was pinned down. He couldn't move and it happened again and he was helpless and it hurt even worse. Matthew wanted the nightmares to end. They were eating away at his mental sanity and made him wake up screaming in the middle of the night. He wanted to return to his normal life before any of this happened.

Arthur hated seeing him like this. Looking at him now made him remember his past in England. Endless nights of unwanted sex, the need to get away, the begging of the never-ending nightmares to stop. It made his heart heavy when the past comes back to haunt him because it was so dramatizing and he'd rather burn the memories and forget them forever and not remember them as they were. Pain-filled moments of a life he wished he had never happened in the first place and tried to forget. Arthur sometimes thought of himself as a prime example of the saying 'the past can come back to haunt you' or was it 'the past can come back and bite you in the ass?' Whatever. Which ever saying was the one that actually made any sense, Arthur considered himself a fine example of it.

He slipped out of the room to make his son some warm milk with honey. It always calmed him down when he had the terrible flashbacks from his childhood and teen years. A pair of strong arms wrapped around his waist and he let out a small smiled when he recognized the pair of arms.

"Hello Francis."

"Did Matthieu have the nightmare again?' Arthur nodded and he prepared the drink for his son.

"I'm just making him something to drink to help calm him down. What are you doing up at this hour?"

"The bed was cold!" Francis whined.

"You wanker, you can't sleep in a cold bed anymore?"

"I've been so used to you heating up the bed that I forgot how to sleep in a cold one~" Arthur felt his face grow hot as Francis wrapped his arms around his slim waist and caught his lips in a kiss. The blond uke was caught by surprise but then broke the kiss himself and finished preparing Matthew's drink.

"Quit that now Francis. Our youngest just had a nightmare and I said I'd bring him something." Francis nodded in understanding. The thing that really woke him up was Matthew crying from the nightmare. He hated that such a thing happened to one of his children and wished that he had done something to prevent it from happening to him. After he left the hospital that day, he paid that rotten gym teacher a visit and kicked his ass for doing that to his petit fils. Of course it didn't solve anything but he wanted to teach him a lesson in the saying; 'You mess with my family, you mess with me.' Bearing the fact that he can't always protect the people he most cherished in the world, he went back to bed a little depressed.

Soon, Arthur joined him in the bed. Arthur... his Arthur. He loved him with all his heart and never wanted to lose him again nor wanted anything bad to happen to him. Pulling him close, Francis laid a soft kiss on his forehead and tried to fall asleep. Arthur could feel the tension coming off him and tangled his hand in the blond locks and placed a kiss oon the Frenchman's lips.

"You can't always be there to protect us. I know you promised it the day the twins were born but, you can't always bee there."

"I spent nine years away from you three and those years made me feel terrible because I wasn't protecting you like I promised I would and now that we're back together as a family again, I wanted to keep my promise."

"I know you did. I love you for that." Fracnis's lips curled into a small smile.

"If you love me then why don't we move in again? Why don't we get back together again?" Arthur opened his mouth to answer but closed it again. It had been about the twentieth Francis asked him about that topic and it was the twentieth time Arthur never had an answer for him. He closed his eyes and turned over to avoid his gaze. He didn't want to deal with that topic so late in the night.

The next day, Arthur was back in the therapist's office. He hadn't been here for a while and was kind of scared about what the hell Tino would say about his absence from the sessions. He could barely remember what they were talking about last time they met. Oh... that's right. They were talking about his past experimentation with drugs and Francis. His husband. He looked at his left hand and stared at a particular small object he kept in his pocket. Arthur was still debating on whether or not he would get back together with Francis. Part of him wanted to get back together with him but the other part was afraid of what will happen this time around if they got back. Last time resulted in a nearly decade-long separation. He didn't have anymore time to think when he was called into the office.

When he went in, he saw that his usual therapist wasn't in today. It was a different guy. He had short light brown hair and light green eyes. He was trying to straighten himself and get everything ready. Arthur began to wonder what the hell happened to that Finnish pain in the ass but was more over relieved he wasn't here. The other guy in the room finally got his shit together and warmly smiled at Arthur.

"Hello. I am Dr. Laurinaitis but you may call me Toris or Dr. T! I'm stepping in for Dr. Vainamoinen today." Arthur shrugged and then sat down as the session began.

"Now I see last time you were here with Dr. Vainamoinen you talked about past experimentation with drugs and your husband, is that correct?"

"Yes."

"Would you care to go into any of that?"

"Well, as you can see in the notes I took drugs to relieve the pain that came with all the men who wanted it from me and then I overdosed on ecstasy and after that I had my first drink. When I was eighteen I finally got out of that hell I was living and got my apartment with money I stole from my father's secret box and got myself into a community college then when I was finishing up, I met my husband. He was there on business and we ran into each other at a café. It was like love at first sight and from then on, we built a relationship but it was only built on love shown by lust. Then we wanted to get married and live the rest of our lives in America. We had the best times of our lives and then parenthood came in." Arthur paused. This was the point in his life where things didn't make sense. (thumbs up for unexplained mpreg!) As mentioned earlier, Arthur had gotten pregnant with Alfred and Matthew and during the pregnancy, he either had to stay in the house or walk out dressed up as a woman. It wasn't very fun on his part but in the end, the boys came out healthy and that's all he could have hoped for.

"What happened?"

"Francis, my husband, and I decided to adopt a child. We felt a void in our relationship and realized we wanted to start a family. We wanted a baby and we searched the many mothers who wanted to give their babies up for adoption. None of those women wanted to trust their baby with us and we were about to give up when this one woman who was uptight and said that with her busy career she had no time for children and they'd get in the way. She even called them little mistakes she couldn't wait to get rid of. When the twins were born it was the best day of my life but then things turned to shit."

"How did that happen?"

"At first it was bliss and then just life happened. Everything that came with having twins hit us like a ton of bricks. We were only ready for one baby but to have two was a hassle; especially when both of us were working but I had to do it from home. Then our sex life went down but that I could see coming and we'd have to sneak in a quickie when the boys were napping. Then I started to drink again but it only got heavier as time dragged on. Soon I would be going to bars and having beer chugging contests with my buddies and Francis would stay home with the boys. It became an endless pattern. Me working my ass off at home then Francis coming back and taking care of the boys while I go out and drink at the bar until I pass out or Francis comes to get me on his own will.

"Things got worse beyond that point because then we started arguing later on. He was tired of my drinking, I was tired of hearing his complaining. There were even times during the fights that he even said he'd leave and take the boys with him. I always got the last word in with 'Go ahead ya wanker!'I would always regret saying that to him later but in the heat of the arguments I would mean the words I say. We never found a way to make up after our fights because the next morning our fights were otherwise forgetting lover's quarrels."

"Did things get worse?"

"Yes."

"When?"

"It started when he said he wanted a break from taking care of the boys during the night and wanted to go to a friend's party. Being a fool I said he could go, I mean it was the least I could do. He took care of the boys pretty much every night and he might as well have his fun. After that he started acting weird and I found out why through a letter. I was in my office checking the mail when I found a letter from the damn floozy. He cheated on me." Arthur started to cry when he remembered the letter. It was something that he tried to forget over the years but every time he tried, the memories of what happened the day he left would come back to haunt him when he thought of Francis.

"How did you feel reading the letter?"

"I felt bitter. I was filled with anger, sadness, and hatred. I remember walked up to him and yelling about the letter then he yelled back and we started going at it again but it was worse than any other time. Next thing I know I slap him. My youngest told me to stop and then, with no thought at all, I grabbed a suitcase and threw it at him. I told him to get the fuck out. If he wanted to turn his back on the family we have then he can go and be with his little lover. It didn't matter to me."

"Why did you kick him out of your home?"

"I wasn't going to continually fight with him every time he was out late at night and I already knew that my sons knew about us fighting and I was not going to let it get any worse than it was. I did what I thought would be best for us and no one will tell me otherwise."

"After you kicked him out, how did you and your sons cope?"

"The boys kept asking when Papa was going to come back home and I told them that now it was just us three. I went to work everyday while the boys were off in kindergarten. I never realized how hard it was to be a single parent because my whole clock had to revolve around my kids from getting them fed, to getting them to school on time, and making enough money to support all three of us. It stressed me out and I resorted to drinking and it quickly became a stress relief for running around with those two. I yelled at them and laid my hands on them. Hell, I was a bad enough father to make one of them cut themselves. If that doesn't qualify me for the list of terrible fathers, I don't know what does." Toris listened to Arthur's story. He couldn't believe his ears. He knew from Tino that this guy had a terrible life but he never imagined his present family life was as bad as his past one. The brunette looked down at the notes he had taken and decided now was a good time to finish things.

"I think we have run out of time."

"Thank you." Arthur got out of the therapy room and went to his car. He put his head in his hands and tried to block out the bad memories he had coming in. All memories of the times he had fought with Francis and the times he and Alfred got into a fight, all the nights he spent drinking, laying his hands on the boys, Matthew running away, finding a close to death Yao in the bathtub. All bitter memories he wished he could get rid of. He had to get out of here. He had to go somewhere to take his mind off things so he could forget the memories for tonight.

Matthew was having a terrible day at school. All day people had been bullying him. Everyone had found out about what happened to him and made his life hell. Some of the students, meaning everyone he was close to, were comforting him and making sure he was alright but the others just teased him. They said he had it coming with wearing dresses to school. Matthew tried to block everything out but it got hard when he could still hear the cruel words that came out of his mouth. It made him want to go to the bathroom and cut again. He had the razor blade in his backpack, nothing was stopping him. Oh wait, there were was one thing. A promise.

He made a promise to Lovino to officialy quit cutting. He found out of Matthew's problem from seeing the scars and made him swear on their love that he will never do it again. He didn't like the sound of it but, never the less, promised. It wasn'teven too hard to keep in the first place. He never found anymore reasons to cut sometime after Christmas, even during the invastigation, and he kept strong during tough situations. He had been going strong until it happened. When it happened, it took away his piece of mind and it was a permanent mental scar on his mind and it played over and over again in his mind as a never-ending nightmare that would forever haunt him.

He hated it. No one looked at him the same way again. The students would snicker or call him names when he walked by and a couple teachers even gave him a dirty look when he sat down in his seat. Matthew didn't understand something. If the gym teacher was like that, then why hire him in the first place? Aren't schools supposed to hire teachers who weren't like that? Apparently, Matthew must have done something to bring it out in Mr. Norris because never before had the older man done anything like that to him or any other students. Or it did but the other students were too afraid to speak out. Whatever the case, he was miserable. He felt like ending it altogether. Taking his own life and floating off to heaven and becoming an angel. He was held back though. He would think of his family, his friends, and Lovino. He thought of their feelings whenever he thought about ending his life.

The teen was on the school's roof staring at the sky as time slowly passed. He came up here when he was having a bad day to try to forget but today seemed to prove difficult. He was thinking about ending it. It was a terrible thought but with how things are going now, it was the right thought at the right time.

"Maybe I should just end it..."

"End what?" Matthew turned around to see Gilbert walking towards him. He figured that he was looking for him after school ended because he had come up here to think after the bell for seventh period rang.

"Whatcha doing up here Gil?" The self-proclaimed Prussian sighed and sat next to his friend.

"Lovi and your brother are going crazy trying to look for you. Now tell me; what should you just end?" Though Gilbert could be that stupid sometimes, he wasn't a complete moron to go off topic. Matthew sighed and felt some tears starting to sting his eyes.

"I thought about ending my life."

"Why?!" Gilbert was scared now. Matthew had told him once that he wanted to kill himself because life for him got so hard. He was shocked that his best friend wanted to end life so much and, as a good friend should, talked him out of it. It was no secret to Gilbert that the blond would be saying things like that now but to hear those words scared him to death.

"You heard everyone at school today! It was my damn fault for wearing a dress that it happened! Its all my fault and I think that maybe I should kill myself. I'm nothing. All I am is some little pansy bitch that plays victim all the time."

"You shouldn't think that about yourself! Mattie, its not your fault and you can't let a bunch of inconsiderate idiots tell you that it is."

"But Gil-"

"But Gill nothing! Don't you dare keep blaming yourself for what happened and if you keep at it then I'll have to make you come the the next Sparkle Party! Kesesese~" Matthew rolled his eyes and stifled a little laugh. He was lucky to have a good friend like Gilbert around to cheer him up and also keep his deepest darkest secrets.

"Hey Gil... could you not tell anyone about this conversation?"

"Was?"

"I don't want anyone to know that I thought about ending my life. I know it is one of those things you should never keep secret from people but, just for me, keep this secret. Lovi, Alfred, and my parents already worry about me enough with what happened and I don't need them even more worried."

"I don't know Mattie..."

"Please Gil?"

"Fine. I'll keep the secret. Now let's get going before your brother comes looking for us." Gilbert didn't like what he got himself into but he had too keep his best friend's suicidal tendencies a secret. Somehow, he felt like this will come back to haunt him.

Antonio was not having a very good day. He was going through chemo and the process was total hell in his body. Of course he'd known of the risks and went through it himself a few times in the past when the tumors first came in but he had long forgotten the pain of chemotherapy. He stared at the plate of food that was staring him back in the face. A side effect of the chemo was a loss in appetite and Antonio had experienced enough of chemo treatments to recognize this side effect. He pushed the food away and stared out the window. It was a beautiful day but he couldn't help but feel sad. He was miserable and he wanted this to end. A silent knock at the door brought him out of his depression as it opened and inside came Francis.

"Bounjour mon ami. How are you feeling?" Antonio smiled a little at his best friend and motioned for him to come closer.

"Miserable. I forgot how much pain came with chemotherapy. I'm already feeling the familiar appetite loss, I've lost about three clumps of hair, and I have to keep a bucket near me because the vomiting has started coming into place..." Francis hugged his friend as he listened to his troubles. He felt sorry for him having to go through this crap again. After the last time they thought he was really done with the cancer treatments and but this time it seemed that Antonio had completely given up on life.

"What if I told you I had a way to cheer you up?"

"How would you do that?" Francis moved to the left to make way for a young girl who had a caramel tan and Antonio's dark brown hair and blue eyes and she was wearing a school uniform. Tears started to swell in Antonio's eyes as he recognized who that was.

"Arcelia...?"

"Papi!" Arcelia cried as she hugged her father.

Arcelia was Antonio's daughter from a previous affair with a French woman whom Antonio could have sworn, though Francis denied it many times, was the Frenchman's twin sister. When Antonio first found out he was a father he was scared but when Arcelia was born, he instantly fell in love with her and wanted to be there for her but then her mother decided to move back to France and take their daughter with her. Antonio thought it was unfair and tried many times to have some arrangement so that he's see his baby girl during summer but nothing worked out well. He still got to Skype her and send her presents on her birthday and Christmas but he rather preferred it if he could see her everyday and be a better father to her.

"My little girl! How have you been? I haven't heard from you in a while."

"Bien! I've been getting good grades in school and Madre said we might be moving back to the states!" Hearing that made Antonio's heart happy. With the crazy France to America time difference, their Skype chats had to be carefully planned so it would work best for them. Antonio kissed her forehead and let her go.

"That is the best news I've heard all day my little tomato." Francis smiled as he walked out of the room leaving the father and daughter to themselves and catch up with each other. As happy as she was to see her father again, the younger brunette couldn't help but feel sad and a little scared when she looked at her father.

"I heard from Tio Francis that it came back Papi. Is the mean bug gone?" Antonio nodded and gently took his daughter's hand.

"It came back but the nice doctors were able to get rid of the mean bug and now I'm taking a special treatment to make sure another mean bug doesn't come back. Hopefully this time the treatment makes the mean bugs go away forever and I can be here with you for a long time."

"I want the mean bugs to go away. I don't want them to take you away." The girl cried. Though in her young age, Antonio gave her a simple explanation for what was going on with him when he was first diagnosed with the brain cancer when she was three. She quickly understood because she was a sharp girl and a friend of hers lost someone to brain cancer. Arcelia was afraid of losing her father to cancer and didn't know what she would do if he was taken from her.

"They won't. Papi may be in some pain now but it's going to be worth it in the end. If you keep praying for me then I'll get better and the bugs will go away so until then, can you be Papi's brave little girl and be my smile as I go through this?"

"S-Si Papi?" Arcelia smiled through her tears for her father. She wanted to be strong for him but to see him in this state always mad her cry. Antonio could see the tears and knew how much she wanted to cry. It had to be too much for a nine-going-on-ten year old girl to handle with her father having something that, no matter how much medical treatment, could possibly kill him. Truth be told, it broke his heart whenever he talked about his cancer with his daughter because she cried so much when she thought about it. Antonio loved his baby and would do anything to stay alive long enough to be with her as long as he can and was determined to do anything.

Francis had gotten home in time to see the boys all packed up and ready to leave and Arthur was about to walk out when he saw his husband. If he was going to do this then he might as well do this now.

"Alfred, Matthew, go to the car. I have to have a talk with your father." They simultaneously nodded and left the apartment leaving the two males alone. They stayed silent until Arthur said something.

"I'm taking the boys back to my home but there's a small catch." The Frenchman could easily predict what the catch was. An actual divorce. he could see it now, fighting in court for joint custody and all that great stuff. Having to pay child support and having a fight with Arthur like in the old days. Yea, just wonderful. Just when he thought he had gotten his family back. Arthur took his wedding ring out of his pocket.

"Take your wedding ring off and hand it to me." Francis obeyed and gave him the ring. The British man handed him his ring. The taller blond was confused but then it faded away and turned into happiness when Arthur said something else.

"Do me a favor and get down on one knee and propose to me again." He got down on one knee when he realized what Arthur was trying to say. Gently, he took Arthur's hand and looked up at him and his eyes started to well up with tears of happiness.

"Arthur Kirkland, I love you with all my heart and ever since we split up all those years ago, I have wanted you back. I missed you so much it hurt to think about you. I would see you in my dreams and cry when I woke up and you weren't safely wrapped in my arms. I love you and i will never again do anything to hurt you like I did. I was a fool and I have regret my decision. I love you and I want to be by your side again. Will you please do me the honor of remarrying me and becoming my husband again?" Arthur nodded and bent down to Francis' level and kissed him.

"I will. I will. I love you so much." The ring slid on his finger with ease and the two shared another kiss. They stayed in silence until Arthur said,

"You better start changing your living arrangements after our wedding. You'll be living with your family again." Francis hugged him and let his tears slip out. He was so happy that words couldn't express his feelings. Finally. Finally after so long he got to be back with his family. This was the best day of his life.

Me: And that's how we end chapter 23! So anyways, Arcelia is my Frain love child and you guys just saw her as a human because in the Country AU she represents Madrid, the capital of Spain. I hope you guys liked this chapter! I spent a lot of time on this to try and make it better than any of the past chapters. I made a polyvore account and if anyone wants to follow me then my username is techgrl! Anyways, exciting news this story has made over 14,000 views, over 100 reviews, over 60 favorites, and over 100 followers! I am so happy and I love you guys so much for getting me there, I couldn't have gotten there without all of you and I couldn't have asked for much better support on this story. I especially love you guys who stuck around with BPH from the beginning and I'm happy you guys believed in this story and it means a lot to me. Oh God, I'm crying as I'm typing this. In conclusion you are all amazing and I love you guys! Anyways, if you guys liked this then go ahead and favorite, follow, or review! This is Janae AKA OrgyMemberXVII signing off! Bye :D