First to answer a guest's question: The next chapter will reveal who made the brownies. Sorry, you'll have to wait for the answer until next week…
This chapter was again in large parts written by BeeEhVee and I love it. Guessing by the reviews you do too. A huge thanks to all readers! (To Bee: As they were mentioned: Some (unfortunately virtual) brownies are on their way to you!)
So, now to some moments with Sam and Deeks...
Chapter 8
With a final summary of the possible medical issues that could come up, Callen stepped out of the house. Sam went to close the door when Callen suddenly spun around and held up his hand, ready to launch into yet another speech about how to properly watch Deeks. Sam shut the door in his face and threw the lock.
"I have keys to this door, y'know!" Callen shouted through the wall.
Sam stalked away from it leaving his partner to huff and puff alone. It was like his partner had completely forgotten that he and Michelle had successfully raised children who occasionally got injured and survived their own little bonuses from their dangerous professions. He could understand doctor's instructions and he was the first one that Deeks trusted when it all began.
He realized Deeks was staring at him with a confused look. Sam glanced around and realized that he was paused in the middle of the room. He pushed his feet to move and he continued his path to the kitchen counter where he'd left the preparations for dinner when he shooed Callen out of the house. Sam muttered as he busied himself organizing the supplies he'd brought.
A cough came out of Deeks and Sam spun to face him with a raised eyebrow.
"Uh…" Deeks' eyes widened and he silently sputtered for words.
Sam got the feeling he was dealing with the tongue-tied Deeks Callen had described. To be honest, he had only half believed his partner – Deeks? Quiet? The universe couldn't possibly be that kind to his ears, and yet it wasn't close to satisfying.
"Go ahead. I don't bite." He said, putting a gentle smile on his face lest his words be misinterpreted as abrupt.
Deeks leaned on his crutches and stretched his neck so he could look back at the door. "Was that…normal?"
"The conversation me and my partner just had?" Sam clarified.
"If that's what you want to call it." Deeks eyebrows scrunched together.
"Yep." Sam gave a quick nod. "You tend to be a part of those 'conversations' as well." Sam wrapped his fingers around the word while gripping a tomato. His answer caused more furrowing and a frown so Sam decided to distract him from trying to remember memories that were out of reach. "Here, for now, we're going to focus on dinner and the fine art of tossing a pasta."
Deeks clunked forward to the table. He looked across the spread of vegetables and other supplies. "I can guarantee this is going to be better than the hospital food. There does seem to be a lack of Jello, though."
Sam's dimples showed as he laughed. He pulled a box out of the furthest bag. "Michelle slipped it in and made me promise to make it for dessert." At Deeks' questioning look he added. "Michelle always feeds it to our kids when they're sick, she thinks it has a secret healing power." He was rewarded with a brief look of concentration and then a smile. Nate had sent him a message to try to not always explain things and instead lead Deeks to the answers he was looking for. Deeks wouldn't have remembered that Sam was married and he slipped in the information that he also had children.
"What do I do?" Deeks nodded at the pile.
Sam opened a few cupboards and found the utensils and bowls that would work for what he planned. He laid out the plan for Deeks and got him dicing and slicing. Sam worked the stove, cooking up the pasta and sautéing vegetables. Deeks sniffed and mentioned how good everything smelled. Together they prepared the meal, Deeks carefully following every instruction Sam gave him. The Jello was made during the process and stored in the fridge to set. Sam grabbed dishes and they sat down to eat what they prepared together.
The meal was spent with Sam doing most of the talking. Deeks asked about his kids, prodding stories from Sam he hadn't told in a while. He asked about some of the pictures Callen had shown him the previous night.
"I hear one Christmas Hetty brought quite the ride home to the boat we were on." Deeks said.
Sam coughed. "Boat?" Then he saw the glint in Deeks' eyes. He shook his head, "there's the spirit. Callen nudge you towards that one?"
Deeks smiled a Deeks-original grin. Sam could see the lost person in that face and it gave him hope. He launched into a semi-embarrassing tale of one of Callen's failures as payback.
As they finished cleaning their plates, Sam could see the weariness in Deeks' body and sent him for a nap on the couch. Deeks went willingly, snoring softly shortly after landing on the cushions. Sam cleaned up the dishes and stashed the rest of the food he'd brought in the fridge. He shook his head at the lack of decent food and huffed at the take-out containers. He graded through the fridge's contents and threw out some things which he knew would result in some whining from his partner. He didn't care; he saw this as an opportunity to get both of them healthier.
He unpacked his laptop and some papers from another bag. He didn't want Deeks to feel as though he was babysat at all times so he brought some things to keep himself occupied. It was an hour in to the complicated papers when he went out into the backyard to do some light exercise to clear his head. The open door would alert him to any activity on the inside of the house that required his attention.
"Deeks, what is it?"
He didn't react. With vacant eyes the younger man stared silently at the laptop in front of him, his hands hovered over the keyboard and were shaking slightly. Coming closer Sam noticed the stack of paper – how had Deeks gotten hold of the contract he and Michelle wanted to have checked over later by a lawyer? – and finally could see what was on the monitor. To his surprise it was just two words and a blinking courser: USERNAME and PASSWORD.
"Deeks?" Sam carefully closed the laptop. The other man looked up and Sam sucked in a breath. Deeks gaze was just so vulnerable. It immediately set his protective streak in gear, but before he could say anything Deeks started talking haltingly.
"I don't know. I don't remember." Deeks mumbled "I – I wanted to look something up, because I'm sure the law regarding this clause here changed a few weeks back, but now I don't know how to access this page." Deeks looked down at the paper in front of him, index finger tripping on one clause in particular. "I am sure, but I wanted to double check as well, but - I don't know who I am." his voice trailed off and he took a deep breath. "What if I never remember? What will I do? What if I remember and don't like what, who I am?"
To get some time before he answered Sam browsed through the pages. 'Why do I always forget?' He scolded himself taking in the notes Deeks had made on the paper. He always looked at Deeks and thought 'clown', 'sunny boy' and 'surfer'. Why weren't 'lawyer', 'police detective, 'NCIS-liaison' his first descriptions? The guy has brains under the shaggy mop of hair. 'Well, he's good at hiding it', Sam thought as he sighed. He made a mental note to ask Deeks later how a former public defender knew so much about contract law. And for Sam it was when Deeks remembered, not if. When he heard Deeks take a deep breath Sam focused back on the man in front of him again.
"Are we really friends, Sam? I mean, I have this deep feeling that I can trust you, no question about that, but, no offense, I look at you and think 'I wanna poke that guy. He is sooo damn awful serious sometimes. He needs to loosen up a bit, have some fun and laughter in his life.'" Deeks picked at a mark on the table top.
Taken totally by surprise Sam could only stare for a moment. Where was that coming from? At any other time he might have gotten angry, but now he realized that Deeks wanted to deflect after he had made himself vulnerable; to take their impending discussion away from himself and towards Sam. But he sounded unsure as well and was unusually honest about it. So Sam laced his words with a heavy dose of conviction.
"We are friends, Deeks. It took us some time, but now we are. It's still kind of new and we need to find our way around, but we're on a good path. I'm still angry at myself that I wasted a lot of time before I realized you're person worth being friends with. You had me fooled with your seemingly laid-back ways and that's not an easy feat, let me tell you. Now, whether you remember or not, you won't ever be alone again, Shaggy. Either you'll remember and we'll go on from where we left off or you won't and we'll find a new balance. Whatever happens, it will be fine. It might get bumpy, but it WILL BE FINE."
Sam shrugged, wondering briefly whether Deeks could stay in Los Angeles if he didn't remember, and was relieved to see that Deeks' hands had stopped shaking and the vulnerable look in his eyes had been replaced by something else Sam couldn't interpret yet.
"Thanks" Deeks whispered. Clearing his throat in a way Sam knew only too well the detective stretched his arms over his head, trying to release some of the tension. "What now?"
"Why don't you tell me what you would change in this contract? And don't worry about the proof, just jot down a note and I'll check it with the lawyer. That guy needs to do some work for his money, after all."
Deeks smiled gratefully and told a further impressed Sam what he would change and why. Sam could tell it would impress the lawyer he and Michelle talked to later as well.
Not much later Deeks called it a night and went to go to his room. Sam stopped him before he left the room.
"Do me a favor, Deeks. Should you wake again and be afraid, let me know. In case I sleep don't hesitate to wake me, I really don't mind, you hear me?"
Deeks worried his lips, indecision plain to see on his face – and if that didn't make Sam realize again how much of himself Deeks normally hid behind his laissez-faire attitude he didn't know what would – before he nodded.
Sam was used to little sleep due to his days as a SEAL and to regular stakeouts so he was still awake when he heard Deeks head to the bathroom. Shortly after he joined him in the living room. Sam put aside the magazine about fly fishing, totally Deeks' fault, and gave the younger man a thorough once over. Deeks didn't look afraid, only a bit nervous. And like he was in a bit of pain.
"Anything I can help with?" Sam asked after a moment of silence. Like Callen he still needed to get used to the fact that this Deeks often needed prompting to talk. What a weird feeling.
Deeks shrugged. "Bathroom break and all the movement made me realize I should better take the pain meds if I wanna go back to sleep again."
Sam nodded and couldn't suppress the smirk he could feel forming on his face. He had made sure that Deeks took the antibiotics – some other than before after consulting with a doctor in case they were the reason for Deeks feeling sick the night before – but had let the pain meds slide. Deeks may have amnesia, he still was a grown man, well, at least he kind of looked like one, so if he didn't want to take pain meds, it was his decision. One he obviously came to regret now.
Instead of giving a lecture like he might have done with his partner, Sam just said "Wait, I'll fetch them from the kitchen for you."
When he came back Deeks had sat down on the sofa his leg stretched out on the small table that went with it. He hadn't heard Sam coming back so the agent took a moment to study him more closely. Despite the obvious pain Deeks was in the younger man looked relaxed and comfortable. How he managed to express so opposite feelings baffled Sam. Deeks was skimming through the magazine Sam had left.
"I totally blame you for this!"
Deeks looked up with a grin "Your sudden interest in fly fishing? What's your problem, not manly enough?"
Sam scoffed, it would take too long to explain a Deeks without memory what his problem was. "Whatever. Here, take your pills."
Deeks kept him company after he took his medications, but about half an hour later his yawns became so huge that Sam feared he would dislocate his jaw with the next one.
"Go to bed already, I'll still be here when you wake up again. I bet you and Callen only had some cereal for breakfast so I will make sure you get something different this time.
Deeks grinned at Sam, stood up slowly but without any hesitation and left again. When Sam checked in on him a bit later the detective was fast asleep.
Sam stretched out on the couch which was surprisingly comfortable. He closed his eyes and must have dosed off, because next he woke it was to see a grinning Callen watching him from the doorway.
"What time is it?"
"Shy of seven."
"Deeks?"
"Sleeps like a log. Coffee?"
"Shower first. I didn't plan on sleeping on this couch in my clothes, but I have to leave it to Hetty, it's really comfortable."
When Sam came to join Callen in the kitchen a cup of coffee as he liked it was waiting for him. Sam nodded his thanks and leaned on the kitchen counter to savor his first sip. Callen did the same standing next to him.
"I never realized how shy Deeks is."
It was a good thing Callen had just swallowed his first sip of coffee otherwise Sam might have found himself in a spray of the brown liquid.
"What?"
"Come on, don't tell me you didn't notice already."
"Well, I wouldn't call it shy, but I know what you mean. It's revealing. I just hope Deeks won't freak once he gets his memory back and realizes how much those last days told us about him."
"I do hope so, too. OK, I promised Deeks some decent breakfast, so, move."
Callen grinned and went to wake up Deeks.
After an excellent breakfast Sam left for the office where he feed the eagerly waiting Nell and Eric the latest news on their liaison.
It's been nearly a week now that Deeks had been in the accident and he didn't show any signs of gaining his memory back. He had regular appointments with his psychologist, but the man was no closer to finding a solution. It all depended on Deeks and his will to get his lost memory back.
Hetty watched from her desk and wondered how much more time she could give her detective. They were lucky that the cases coming their way could be handled by the other teams, but sooner or later she would need Mr. Callen and Mr. Hanna back. She would have loved to have Kensi here with them, but it was crucial that the agent was where she was right now. A life depended on it. With a deep sigh and regret she started the disliked task of looking for places were Mr. Deeks could go should the need arise. She just hoped that it would never come to that.