Previously: Bella looked like she would say more, but Jasper sent another wave of calm around the room while Edward placed a hand on her knee. Instead of continuing the argument, she sat back and grimaced, trying not to think about what part of the story was coming next...'

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' Unfortunately, Laius and Jo's carefree happiness was not to last. Just a few short months after their reunion a great battle was to be fought in a clearing near where they lived. Laius feared for Jo's safety and so, the night before the battle was to be fought, he enlisted Oedipus's help to hide her far away in the mountains. Swallowing their enmity, the two men worked together to protect the woman they both loved, but the weather had other ideas.

A mighty blizzard brew around the tent where they were hiding. Neither Laius nor Oedipus was bothered by the storm, their respective afflictions keeping them safe and healthy. Jo, on the other hand, had no such advantage. She was perfectly human, and perfectly vulnerable. Laius watched in agony as his betrothed slowly froze to death before his eyes, knowing that his own cold form could only make the situation worse. There was only one option for her survival, and Laius flinched instinctively away from it. Conversely, Oedipus was all too willing to carry it out.

Due to his affliction, Oedipus's body temperature constantly ran at over a hundred. He was the only warm thing for miles. Gallantly, he joined Jo in her sleeping bag and shared his warmth. Eventually, they both drifted off to sleep while Laius, a creature of the night, was forced to watch in silence as his fiance slept in the arms of another man. When the dawn came and the storm died around them, one thing was clear above all the others. Oedipus had slept with Jo. Kind of. Not the way he wanted to, but close enough. Ok, lets rephrase. Oedipus had sort of slept with Jo

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Never before had Bella been more pleased that her ability to blush had died with her humanity. Even as it was, her head was buried in her lap and her hair fell in a curtain around her, hiding any glimpse of her face. Edward tried to comfort her and glare at Emmett at the same time, but it just wasn't working. Eventually he gave up and settled for just stroking his wife's back. At least Jacob looked just as embarrassed.

But Renesmee....well, she looked just plain mortified. She'd always known of course, but it had never really been put to her quite like that before.

As for everyone else, they were trying to hold back their laughter. And failing miserably I might add. Despite this, Esme tried to act as a parental authority.

'Emmett' she tried to growl between giggles. ' I think you might have gone a bit far this time. Mabey you should quit while your ahead,'

'Awww but Muuuum! Its nearly over, just sit tight while I finish the story pleaaaase...'

Considering that the story isn't over, I think we all know who won the argument.

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The battle was won, and life went on as usual – or, as usual as it can be when you live in a mythological story. Laius and Jo were married and went off on their honeymoon as happy as could be. Oedipus, meanwhile, went off to sulk. Thats right, you heard me. I said sulk. He'd heard that Laius had agreed to share his affliction with Jo and he wasn't happy. He didn't want her changed, he liked her the way she was. When the newly weds returned, he was armed and ready for revenge – willing to take on the entire family if necessary. Yet what he found shocked him out of his rage.

Jo was unchanged. Still human. Still completely alive. And very pregnant. He certainly hadn't expected that.

All was not well however, it was clear that Jo was unlikely to survive the pregnancy. Whether from the strain of carrying that life inside her or from the enemies who wished to kill that which she carried, it would end the same. In death.

Oedipus and Laius both loathed the thing she carried for what it was doing to her, how it was killing her. Yet still they protected it, for the death of it would mean the death of Jo, an outcome which neither could bear. Laius had a plan though. If they could just keep her heart beating, he could still transmit his affliction and keep her alive in some form. Oedipus found he could no longer protest and gave his blessing to the change as his birth right allowed.

Not long after, Jo's placenta detached. The baby couldn't breathe and thrashed about as it suffocated. Jo coughed up a fountain of blood and her family heard every sickening crack as her bones were broken by the child. Laius and the angel performed a cesarean to get the child out, but soon the angel was forced to leave. Oedipus took over in assisting Laius and soon the child was born. Jo lived long enough to hold her child once before her heart gave out. It was Oedipus who kept it going, performing CPR and pumping the blood around her body in its place. The angel returned to take the baby girl while the men worked to keep her mother alive. All too soon Oedipus had seen more than he could take and he too had to leave. Laius was alone, desperately trying to keep his wife alive.

Oedipus walked down the stairs in complete depression. He had lost all hope that Jo would survive. As he reached the top of the stairs, he saw the angel once more, cooing over the new born. The angel turned and Oedipus saw Jo's child for the first time, and it was like he saw the light. Nothing in all the world mattered any more. Nothing but the child before him. He had imprinted. He loved her with all his soul.

And that's when he realized. He had almost killed her father. He had sort of slept with her mother. Further more, it was unheard of for imprints to refuse their werewolves. One day they would marry. Jo and Laius would be his mother, his father.

With a grimace he realized that his name was truly fitting. Almost. Sort of.

He wasn't Oedipus, just a plain old Oedipus Wanna Be.

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' and we all know what happens now, Jo survives, they play happy families and everyone lives happily ever after' finished Emmet.

Everyone looked at Renesmee, her paper was clean and untouched. There were still tear tracks on her cheeks from the earlier parts of this last installment of story, but now she was looking at Emmett like he was from another planet.

'Riiiiiight' she tried awkwardly 'Thanks for the story Uncle Emmett, but I don't think I can give that version to my teacher. I guess the moral is to just to finish my homework without complaint right?'

Emmett pouted, but Renesmee didn't see – she'd already fled the room. Moments later, the rest of the family had followed suit.

'Well excuse me.' he whined before turning to set up his X-Box, all thoughts of the story forgotten.

So, what did you think? I'd like to apologize to all members of Team Jacob. I'm sorry, I have nothing against him, but that really needed to be said. At any rate, I value all your opinions highly, so please review.