I must not forget about this story...I must not forget about this story...I must not forget about this story...
Warnings: Is this yaoi, you ask? Of course it is! I write nothing BUT yaoi! For those who are still hopelessly green, yaoi is boys with boys (or in this case, men with men, rawr). The pairing is, or eventually will be, Cid/Vincent. If you don't like that then you either stumbled across this by accident, or you're in some serious denial; whatever the reason, just hit the back button.
Disclaimer: The story is mine, but sadly the characters are not - they belong to Square Enix/Squaresoft, and that Japanese guy whose name I can never remember. I can't prevent it, but please don't steal the fic idea; you can come up with your own. You're welcome to use Rocket Fields, but since it doesn't technically exist in-game, you may want to explain that it's where the Rocket used to be.
Chapter eight, otherwise named: 'One man's happiness is another man's despair'.
The guilt still lingered, a reminder in the back of his mind that this really, really wasn't a good idea. He agreed completely, and yet he couldn't seem to help himself; the thrill that ran through him when he and Cid did so much as brush hands was electric. The pilot seemed to share this view, since he was always so happy. The way he whistled as he worked, the smile on his face, the extra spring in his step...
The only problem with this, however, was that Shera noticed.
"You're certainly cheerful lately, Cid," She commented one day, and Vincent felt his insides go cold. Cid, on the other hand, just laughed.
"'Aint nothin' wrong with bein' happy now, is there?" He responded good-naturedly, "Hey, I'm goin' outside for a bit. Want to join me, Vin?"
Vincent managed a stoic nod before he headed outside. As soon as they were well out of earshot, however, he turned to Cid with narrowed eyes: "I wish you'd stop that."
"Stop what?"
"Acting so...casual. You do realise that Shera could find out about us?"
"Why would she find out?" Cid pulled a cigarette from the packet tucked into his flight goggles, lighting it idly, "All I did was ask you to come outside with me."
"You're disturbingly comfortable with what we're doing," Vincent muttered lowly, "Don't you feel guilty at all?"
"Well...a little. But what Shera doesn't know won't hurt her, right? An' she won't find out about us."
"She's already noticed the change in your behaviour. You're walking everywhere with a smile on your face, Chief."
"I can't help it, I'm happy," Cid grew quiet then, "I haven't felt this happy in two years...since you left."
He felt that addictive thrill run through him again at the words, "Not even at your own wedding, Chief...?"
"Happy?" Cid let out a stream of nicotine smoke, expression thoughtful, "I dunno...more numb than anythin' else. That an' nervous as #!£&," He laughed, "But it felt more like a dream, y'know? All surreal an' #!£&."
The same as me, Vincent thought, So maybe Cid realised that something wasn't right, but he went ahead anyway...
He had to wonder what would have happened if he had interfered during the ceremony, objected to the wedding...would Cid have come to his senses? Or maybe if he'd interfered from the very start, before Cid could even consider marrying Shera...
I wonder...what if I had taken Shera's place?
That certainly would have changed things. Cid wouldn't be living in Rocket Town, for a start - he'd be on his airship, travelling the skies just as he was meant to. Perhaps their existance would not be as carefree as the endless summer days over here, but Cid would undoubtedly be happier. More importantly, he'd be where he truly belonged.
If it were me instead of her, Cid...you'd still have your wings.
"You're awful quiet, Vin," Cid remarked suddenly, "Somethin' on your mind?"
"No...nothing," They approached their usual tree, and Vincent took a seat. There was no point in dwelling in the past, he supposed. Things had turned out like this, and there was nothing he could do about it.
"So long as you're not #!£&in' angstin' on me, that's all."
"I was not angsting...and angst isn't a verb."
"It is now!" Cid declared proudly, "Courtesy of Vincent Valentine: hobbies include readin' tragic poetry, lookin' dark an' mysterious, angstin'."
"Hush," Vincent berated, but he was smiling.
"Ah-hah, it brought a smile to your face though, didn't it?" Cid pointed out, and stubbed out the remains of his cigarette on the tree trunk, "Hey...I know what else'll make you smile."
"What's that-" Vincent found his lips caught in a kiss, and the taste of freshly-smoked cigarette. He frowned when they were done; "Cid Highwind. Don't tell me you asked me to come outside just so you could kiss me," The grin on the pilot's face told him that this was indeed the case, "To think that you mentioned it so casually in front of Shera..."
"Ah, she doesn't suspect a thing. Am I gonna get a kiss back or what?"
"Insufferable man," Vincent muttered, but kissed him anyway. Given how eager Cid was, it wasn't long before Vincent found himself on his back, the pilot above him. One hand was braced against the ground whilst the other ghosted down Vincent's cheek, his jaw, his neck...
"Chief," Vincent managed to gasp out between kisses, "We shouldn't - Shera could see-"
"Not past all the tall grass, she won't," Cid growled in reply, pressing his lips against Vincent's almost ferociously, "Christ, Vin...you've no idea how long I've been waitin' to do this..."
"How..." The gunner inhaled sharply when Cid moved onto his neck, "Long...Chief...?"
"Feels like #!£&in' forever..." He could feel Cid's throat shift as talked, feel the wild pulse beneath the skin, "#!£&, Vin, you're so #!£&in' beautiful, I could just-"
"Wait," Vincent suddenly hissed.
"Wait?" Cid paused as well, confused, "That wasn't quite what I had in mind-"
"I meant stop kissing me, there's..." Vincent fell quiet, straining his ears to pick up any sound, "Footsteps. I can hear footsteps."
"#!£&," Cid pulled himself off of Vincent at once, "Shera?"
"Make like you're asleep," Vincent whispered urgently, and rolled over onto his side, hoping that his long hair would conceal any heated flush on his face. He glimpsed Cid feigning slumber, struggling to even out his breathing.
"Mister Valentine? Captain?" Came Shera's soft voice not a minute later, "Are they asleep...?"
It seemed to be working, so Vincent kept his eyes closed until he felt hands on his shoulder, shaking him 'awake'. He let himself stir slightly, blinking sleepily for effect as opened his eyes.
"Mr Valentine...are you awake? Oh good," Shera smiled at him - from the looks of things, she was none the wiser about what had just happened, "I came to tell you that it's about to rain; better for you to come inside before it starts. Can you help me with Cid? He's almost impossible to wake up once he's fallen asleep..."
He forced a smile; his heart was still beating rapidly in his chest, like a caged bird, "Of course, Miss Shera. You head back inside, I'll wake him up."
Shera thanked him and left; the moment she was gone, Cid's eyes fluttered open.
"I thought you said we were going to be careful, Chief," Vincent uttered lowly, accusingly.
"Sorry, I didn't hear her comin'," Cid offered him an apologetic grin, "Guess I got carried away back there."
"Just don't let it happen again," Vincent warned. A part of him was downright furious with Cid at being so careless; more than anything else, though, he was unsettled by how close they'd already come to being caught.
By the time evening came, Vincent's nerves still hadn't improved. Worse still, it was now pouring it down outside, so he couldn't even leave the house to calm himself. It was made worse by Shera, who pottered about the house in blissful ignorance - she didn't know, as he kept reminding himself, but she had come dangerously close to discovering them.
He considered retiring to his room, but wondered if that might make Shera suspicious - if she wasn't already. Then again, maybe she could see that he wanted to return to his room but wasn't doing so, and that was making her suspicious...he was so busy contemplating the less-suspicious thing to do that forgot his surroundings, and was promptly startled from his thoughts everytime Shera closed a cupboard or placed an item on the table.
"You're awfully jumpy today," Shera remarked after the fifth time, "Are you alright?"
"Fine," He answered quickly, perhaps too quickly. Shera seemed oblivious and went back to her cleaning, whilst Vincent inwardly cursed his poorly-hidden nerves. Given how Shera seemed to pick up on even the slightest change in his behaviour, he was certain she'd soon find out about him and Cid.
This is already turning out to be a bad idea...but I can't bring myself to quit now, Vincent glanced out of the window, his breath misting against the cool glass. Watching the rain trickling down the surface, he couldn't help but think that the future looked bleak.