Warning: Language

Loke

Loke loved her… but he didn't want to marry her.

He used to think he loved her. He convinced himself into it. He let his dad convince him into it. He let money convince him into it.

What better way to expand the family business than by marrying the daughter of Heartfilia conglomerate?

When he had realised how blinded he was by his father's greed, Lucy had already come to love him. That was the year Layla died and Lucy needed him more than ever. Before then, he had been looking to find a way to end it, to not lead her on. But he couldn't do it to her. Not then.

So he had to keep pretending to be in love with her. But truth was, he loved Lucy like the family his dad never was.

It was fucked up, obviously. They had sex, they made out, they were affectionate. But in his mind, Loke convinced himself that this was the only way he could love her right now. As a lover.

Because Lucy was there for him as much as he was there for her. They were each other's best friends, each other's confidants.

It was so fucked up.

Loke was so fucked up.

Loke was so fucked.

He thought he could keep this up for the rest of his life. His dad told him to. Or he was going to be cut off, and his opportunities destroyed. That he would get another… disciplining. It was difficult to hide such things in the modelling industry.

It was so fucked up.

He tried to be nice to Lucy; give her comfort whenever she needed. But he was a natural playboy at heart. At first glance, he may seem like a suave expert romantic. But beyond that first impression, with the sweet words and roses, all that remained was uncertainty. That's why he used to just have sex a lot.

Because he didn't have a romantic bone in his body.

So… he always took romantic advice from Jellal. Jellal literally told him what to do half (most) the time. He told Jellal everything. All the time. Every little thing that happened. Lucy didn't know that an unfamiliar outside source knew most of her deepest secrets.

Of course, Jellal didn't see anything bad about it. After all, he just assumed (correctly) that Loke was terrible at the romantic gestures. He was naïve in that way; and Jellal was a hopeless romantic. He thought he was just playing innocent little matchmaker.

But it was terrible. Loke knew. Wendy knew.

As the only other person who knew that Loke was taking advice from her big brother, Wendy told him all the time:

You're lying to her, Loke.

What the fuck were you thinking?

This is deceit. She won't know you for who you really are. She'll think you're this romantic guy with these gigantic gestures.

Worst of all, she'll think you're this guy with all these sweet, thoughtful gestures. You know Lucy will only fall deeper.

You're doing more damage. You're not actually being nice, or some fucked up idea you have in your head.

Stop fucking her over, Loke.

Wendy obviously hated him. With good reason. But she was immune to begging. So he got on his knees and asked her not to tell Lucy (her best friend) until he could. So yeah. Intense hatred from Wendy.

Technically, Lucy fell in love with Jellal. Well, she loved Loke. But she fell in love with Jellal's actions. Technically. Told you, fucked up.

That time he bought her the roses she loved so much? He only knew what they were because Jellal told him it was an essential, and pestered him until he asked her. Jellal even told him a great, subtle way of asking her. Take her to some botanical gardens. It always gets people talking about plants and their favourites/the prettiest ones. That man was a genius.

Also, that time he brought her the hot chocolate her mum used to make? Jellal.

That time he took her to her favourite childhood theme park? Jellal.

The promise ring when she was unsure about Loke's affections? Jellal.

That time he sneaked her away from her bodyguards to see the German market, because she's never been before as her father had deemed it unsafe? Fucking. Jellal.

Of course, some things Loke thought of himself. But he thought about them like maths problems, puzzles to solve. Very rarely had he ever thought of something meaningful, on the spot. He's just wasn't that type of person.

But whenever someone asked Lucy what made her fall in love? She'd answer that it was his thoughtfulness. How he'd instantly know what to do when she was upset. That he was spontaneous, and he made her experience things she'd never done before. That he was brave, courageous. That he had these grand gestures. And that he had these small ones.

It was a wreck.

This whole relationship was built on lies.

Fuck.

Lucy

Lucy was a simple girl who wanted the simple things.

Of course, what she considered to be simple, many regarded as unnecessarily ostentation, considering her ridiculously privileged upbringing. It was the way she was raised.

So when Loke looked nervous all through dinner, constantly looking around as if to assess his surroundings, Lucy couldn't wait for the moment. She didn't know whether to act shocked or whether she would cry like all the girls in the youtube videos. But she knew she would be ecstatic, and she knew what her answer would be. Yes. And that's all that mattered.

So when they main course came and went, and they awaited their dessert, Lucy froze when Loke gather her hands in his.

This was it. This was the moment. Her moment.

She thought he was going to do the cliché and put the ring in her dessert or wine glass (but despite his lack of originality, she would've been touched either way). She could already imagine their wedding.

There would be roses (her favourite) and the smell would permeate the ceremony as they declared their undying love for each-

"-Lucy, I think we should break up-" Lucy tensed, and Loke flinched as he felt her hands freeze in between his. But he persevered. He knew there was no point in beating around the bush. Lucy deserved this. She deserved his explanation. "-I know you probably didn't expect this, but I needed to tell you before-"

Lucy suddenly grasped his hand in hers, her soft hands clammy and harsh as she gripped his hands in a painful hold. "Break up… You mean a break, right? Until you settle into uni. Or a break while you focus on your education. I can wait 4 years. I can wait. I can wait that long. I've been waiting for this for 18 years. I can… I can…"

She looked at him with painful desperation in her eyes. His gaze was begging him to agree. Her cheeks were already stained with tears, and there was an uncomely flush to her face. Loke had never seen the usually dignified heiress look so… broken. So pitiful.

It was then and there that Loke knew he couldn't lie to her anymore. "Lucy, I can't… I have to… We have to end this. I can't… I can't do this anymore. To you. For you. For us. For me"

Loke expected her to scream and shout. Demand for an explanation and want to hurt him.

But she didn't.

Slowly, she grabbed her things and walked out the door.

She didn't look back.