Friday finally arrived again for Tori, and she could not wait for it. She wanted those few days off to finally rest and relax. She never felt as weak as she did now after those few weeks. She hoped that her body would cooperate with her at least one night and allow her to catch a few hours of good sleep. She needed that more than anything right now. Her mind had suffered from all that insomnia. Everything around her seems to move slower. Her mind can't focus at all and she can't remember basic things for a few moments. She blacks out every now and then and she didn't want to collapse again. If she did, Lane would call her father and she didn't want to put any more stress on him than he already has. She hasn't seen him since the day her mother walked out on them. She had only caught glances of him before he left the house to go to work. She felt helpless about so many things these days, and it just keeps adding up for her.
Lunchtime came quickly and Tori was glad because it meant that half of her day was already over. She didn't really know what had been going on in the previous classes, and honestly, she didn't care at all. Right now she only wanted for weekend to arrive and to allow her to rest.
"You look awful." Andre said as he looked at his best friend. Tori turned her attention to him, a small, weak chuckle escaping her.
"Thanks a lot. You really know how to cheer me up." Tori joked, taking another sip of her water.
"You know what I mean. You look tired and… done." Andre said.
"Done?" Tori asked, wondering what he meant with that.
"You look like you are one second away from falling apart, Tori. Is there anything I can help you with?" Andre asked, worry pouring out of his voice.
"Don't worry about me. I'm okay. I'm not someone who gives up easily." Tori said, flashing Andre a smile.
"Are you sure?" Andre asked.
"You know me. I never accept defeat, no matter what." Tori said.
"That's true." Andre said, smiling himself. "But if there is…"
"Anything you can do, I will let you know. Don't worry." Tori said, finishing his sentence for him. The rest of the gang was there a few minutes later. They talked about nothing particular, until Beck brought up something.
"Do you guys have any plans for toning and tomorrow?" Beck asked. Everybody shook their head no. Tori wanted to say sleep, but she wasn't sure herself whether that would happen anyway.
"I thought that we could go camping tonight and stay there until the morning." Beck said, looking around at his friends.
"How did you come up with camping out of the blue?" Andre asked him.
"I was cleaning my attic yesterday and found my old tent. I haven't been camping for so long and I really would love to. I know a great spot in the woods half an hour from here." Beck explained.
"And what would we do?" Jade asked.
"Hang out; have a BBQ, make a campfire and when it gets dark you can share some scary stories with us." Beck said, earning a grin from Jade.
"Well put, Oliver." Jade said with a smirk. "Why not? I'm in."
"Count me in, too. I think I have a tent lying somewhere in my place." Andre said. The others agreed quickly, all now looking at Tori and waiting for her response.
"Alright." Tori said with a small sigh. "Count me in, too."
"Yay!" Cat said, hugging Tori quickly out of joy and to offer her a small moment of serenity, which overcame Tori almost immediately.
"Great. So we can take my car and..:" Beck began, waiting for someone to take up the offer.
"My car." Andre said.
"And Andre's car. We will pick you up around six and then head towards the woods." Beck finished.
The day went on rapidly as it was already five before six and Tori was sitting on her porch. She was wearing old jogging pants and an old t-shirt. She had prepared some food for the BBQ and something to drink, all placed in her backpack. She saw the car drive in front of her a minute later. She got up and walked towards the car, where she saw Andre sitting on the driver's spot and Robbie sitting in the passenger seat.
"How long have you been waiting?" Andre asked as Tori entered the car.
"A few minutes. I really didn't have anything left to do in the house." Tori said.
"Alright. Let's go." Andre said as he reversed out of her driveway and drove towards the spot he and Beck agreed to meet at. Twenty minutes later they arrived at the parking space, but Beck was nowhere to be found yet. Just as they all got out of Andre's car, they saw Beck drive towards them and enter the parking lot. He, Cat and Jade got out of the car and took out their backpacks from the trunk.
"Follow me. It's a short walk through the woods." Beck said as the others followed him. After ten minutes of walking Beck stopped as they arrived at a cleaned out space in the woods. It was visible that it had been used recently. "Here we are." Beck said as he put his backpack down.
"So, we splitting into groups?" Andre asked.
"Sure. We guys will get some firewood while you girls can set up the tents. Is that alright with you ladies?" Beck asked.
"Of course. Just don't hurt yourselves." Jade mocked.
"Yeah, you'll see. We'll have a campfire in no time." Andre said as the guys left.
Half an hour later, they came back with the firewood, each carrying as much as he could. They were more than glad to see that the girls were struggling with the first tent, seemingly not able to set the frame correctly. Tori was sitting next to it, trying to figure out how the frame should look, Jade was cursing at two pieces that wouldn't connect while Cat was typing something on her phone and laughing at the other two girl's miseries.
"How is it going?" Andre asked, a wide grin appearing on his face.
"You are going to have a pole up your ass if you say anything else, Harris!" Jade hissed with venom in her voice, making Andre's grin disappear immediately.
"Don't mind them. Let's get the fire starting." Robbie said as he put down his pieces.
In the next half hour, everything reversed. Somehow, Tori and Jade figured out how to build the first tent and were done with the second one almost immediately, now knowing how it was done, while the guys struggled with getting the fire started.
The girls were watching them struggle with great delight. All three were kneeling by the rocks they had placed to mark where the fire would be. Beck had been trying to start a fire by rubbing two pieces together for twenty minutes now while Andre was smashing two small rocks together in order to get a spark. Robbie tried both methods himself, but no matter what they did, they could not get a fire started.
"I really hope I never get stranded with you guys on a desolated island. You guys really suck." Jade said. The three looked at her angrily, their pride shattered by their taunts.
"Haha. Really funny, Jade. Come on, let's see you try." Beck said, throwing the two pieces to the ground and resting his hands on his knees.
Jade walked towards them, her smirk never leaving her lips. She kneeled down next to the spot and, while giving them a small smile, took out a Zippo lighter out of her pocket and turned it on. She lit the small pieces of paper and the firewood caught fire a few moments later. She got up and walked back towards the girls. The guys looked at the fire with a defeated expression, while Cat was giggling at their misfortune and even Tori had to chuckle.
"You had a lighter all this time?" Beck asked in a defeated tone.
"Mhm." Jade uttered.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Robbie asked, his voice seemingly close to breaking.
"How is it going?" Jade asked, mimicking Andre's voice as she looked at him. "That's why. Not start the BBQ. Watching you guys fail made me hungry." Jade said as she sat down on her backpack.
"They made us look like idiots." Andre said, looking at his friends.
"All thanks to you." Beck said as he got up and walked towards his backpack. He picked it up and carried it to the others. He took out a few bricks and a BBQ wire and placed the bricks around the wire before placing the wire on it. In the meantime, Robbie got all the food they had brought together and took over the duties of BBQing and preparing everything.
"I never knew you were good at this." Beck said as he watched Robbie check the meet and keep the fire going.
"You learn things here and there." Robbie said as he took a finished piece of steak and placed it carefully in the roaster.
"Is there anything else we don't know about you?" Andre asked as he added a piece of wood to the fire while Robbie held the wire up.
"Not really." Robbie said in a neutral tone.
The BBQ was done half an hour later. Cat took out the paper plates and plastic tableware while Tori cut the bread into slices. They all sat down around the fire and ate, enjoying the warmth the fire radiated.
"This is so good." Cat said as she cut herself another piece of steak.
"You can thank the BBQ master here. Just when I think you can't surprise me anymore, you do, and this time with something positive." Andre said as he patted Robbie on the back.
"I'm glad you guys like it." Robbie said.
"Well, there had to be something useful in him next to everything else." Jade said. Robbie's expression immediately became neutral again, the small smile he had after receiving those compliments disappearing with Jade's words.
Tori seemed to be the only one who noticed that, but she didn't say anything. She thought that the comment was both mean and unnecessary, but still, it was Jade. What else could she expect?
A few hours later they decided to tell some campfire stories. Andre went first, trying to be as scary as possible.
"And as he turned around, a knife stabbed him in the face!" Andre yelled, looking at his friends who didn't even flinch at his story. It was only worse for him when Jade yawned.
"My brother once stabbed himself in the face." Cat said suddenly. Everyone turned her attention to her. "He thought that there was a fly on his face and he wanted to kill it. He's okay though. He hit it only with the blunt side." She explained. Everyone shook their head at the story, deciding not to ask any further questions.
"Alright, the story wasn't that good." Andre admitted.
"It was awful." Jade said, cutting a few branches with her scissors.
"Well then, let's hear one from you." Beck said.
"Finally!" Jade said as she sat up straight and looked at everyone around her. "There is this story I remember reading online. It went something like this: There was a hunter in the woods, who, after a long of day hunting, was in the middle of an immense forest. It was getting dark, and having lost his bearings, he decided to head in one direction until he was clear of the increasingly oppressive foliage. After what seemed like hours, he came across a cabin in a small clearing. Realizing how dark it had grown, he decided to see if he could stay there for the night. He approached, and found the door ajar. Nobody was inside. The hunter flopped down on the single bed, deciding to explain himself to the owner in the morning.
As he looked around the inside of the cabin, he was surprised to see the walls adorned by several portraits, all painted in incredible detail. Without exception, they appeared to be staring down at him, their features twisted into looks of hatred and malice. Staring back, he grew increasingly uncomfortable. Making a concerted effort to ignore the many hateful faces, he turned to face the wall, and exhausted, he fell into a restless sleep.
The next morning, the hunter awoke — he turned, blinking in unexpected sunlight. Looking up, he discovered that the cabin had no portraits, only windows." Jade finished. She watched everyone stare at her for a moment before realization hit them. She watched in delight as fear and horror crept into their faces after what they had just heard.
"So? How was that?" Jade asked.
"I-I-It was good." Andre said, his voice higher than usual as he looked around.
"Thank you." She said, happy with herself. "Want to hear another one?" She asked.
"NO!" They all yelled in unison, terrified at the idea.
"Your loss." She said, returning to her previous activity.
The hours passed as the friends talked, sang and ate some more. The moonlight created a beautiful atmosphere within the woods while the fire gave comfortable warmth to the all. Around one AM, they decided to call it a day and retreated into their tents. They guys stayed in one tent while the girls slept in the other one. Well, everyone slept except Tori. It wasn't because she was sleeping in a tent or anything. It was because her mind would not let her rest. She had so many things she needed to figure out that her mind could not keep a single train of thoughts up for too long before drifting away to another. She made peace with the fact that she wouldn't be able to sleep this night anyway, so she threw the blanket of herself slowly, not wanting to wake up either Cat or Jade. She put her shoes on and made her way to the campfire. It had almost gone out, so she grabbed a few pieces of firewood left and placed them in it. The fire reignited again as she sat down on her backpack and stared at the flame. She hugged her knees to her chest while she observed the beautiful red flame in front of her dance. It was mesmerizing; it drew her in almost immediately, taking all her attention and focus with it. Tori wondered what Trina was up to. She hadn't seen her this morning as she had hoped to. She only found her car in their driveway and a note that said "Thank you" on the driver's seat. She wondered if her dad even noticed that she wasn't home currently. She guessed that he didn't, since he was too absorbed into his work in a desperate attempt to not think about what had been going on in his life in the last few weeks. Tori rubbed her arms in an attempt to warm them up. Despite having a vest on and sitting next to the fire, she was still cold. Her body had gone crazy because of her lack of sleep and she knew that. She wondered how she hadn't become sick by now. Her immune system was probably at an all time low for her.
Suddenly, she felt something on her shoulders and then the rest of her body. She looked down to see that it was a bigger jacket. Before she could even turn around, she noticed that someone had sat down next to her. She turned her head to see the Goth looking at the fire. She saw the fire reflect on Jade's pale face, making it look as if she was glowing. Tori was again mesmerized, but this time by the beauty of the other girl.
"Your mind is not letting up, is it?" Jade asked, looking at the fire.
"It never does." Tori said, shifting her eyes from Jade back to the fire.
"Come on. Talk to me." Jade said, finally looking at the half Latina next to her.
"What is there to talk about?" Tori asked.
"I'm sure that there is a lot that we could talk about." Jade said.
"You already know what happened to my family." Tori said.
"I do."
"Then what is there to talk about?" Tori asked.
"I don't care about that." Jade said, her statement making Tori look at her. "I want to know what's going on in your head right now. That is what matters." Jade said.
"There are a lot of things going on at the same time." Tori said, aware that she was avoiding the question in a way.
"And you can't focus on a single one long enough before another one jumps in." Jade said, looking at Tori and waiting for a reaction. She got that when Tori nodded.
"I'm worried about my sister and my dad. I have barely seen them since…" Tori began, but couldn't finish. Mentioning what her mother did out loud always felt the same. It felt like a knife being trusted right into her back.
"Say it." Jade said, looking at Tori.
"Since… Holly left with Gary." Tori said. She didn't want to call her mother anymore. A mother would not do that to her own kids.
"How do you feel about that?" Jade asked in a calm voice.
"How do you think I feel?" Tori asked back, anger pouring out of her voice as she looked at the other girl. Jade didn't flinch at Tori's sudden outburst. She looked at the other girl knowingly, as if she had been through something like this hundredths of times before.
"I have my ideas, but I want you to tell me. I want you to really tell me how that makes you feel." Jade said.
"Why?" Tori asked, her voice near breaking.
"Because it's easier when you admit it." Jade said.
"I already admitted it to myself." Tori said.
"No you didn't." Jade said, a light chuckle escaping her.
"What?" Tori asked. "How do you know if I did or didn't?"
"Because I know you. You are still searching for a possible explanation or reason that would result in all this mess to finally make some sense." Jade explained.
Tori only shook her head in disbelief. She began crying again, something that became the norm with her the moment reality decided to confront her. It was such a mess and still she could not get a grip on everything. Jade was right. She was still in denial. She was still hoping that her mother would return and that everything would be back to how it used to be before that incident. She still held hope like a child does, believing in an ultimate justice.
"Why do you think that you know me?" Tori asked.
"For years, you've been carrying your heart around like an open book. Do you really think that after all these years we know one another there is something about you that I don't know? I know how you think. I know how your mind operates." Jade said. She shifted her body so that she was now facing the other girl.
"Have you ever felt like… just giving up?" Tori asked. "Just… admitting defeat and giving up on everything?"
"I'm not someone who gives up, and neither are you." Jade said.
"But what when all this becomes too much to handle?" Tori asked.
"Then you let others help you and take some of the burden." Jade said nonchalantly.
"But how is that fair to the others? I can't expect them to carry ma cross. All of us have something that is dragging us down. How would it be fair if I ask anyone to take any more on them?" Tori asked.
"With that analogy you are the most unfair cunt in the world because all you do is take the burden of other people on you." Jade said with a smirk.
"That's not the same." Tori said.
"And how is it not the same?" Jade asked, in her Sweet Sally Peaches voice. Tori laughed out loud, for the first time glad to hear the voice that was always used to mock her.
"It's just…"
"Don't be a hypocrite. If you could help out so many, especially us in our small little group here, then let others help you too. Let the others do what you always do for them. It's only fair." Jade said.
"And how would that help?" Tori asked.
"Hell if I know. But I doubt that it can be worse than what's going on right now, can it?" Jade asked.
"I don't think it can." Tori admitted after thinking about it for a second.
"So where's the problem?" Jade asked.
"You are right." Tori said.
"I know I am." Jade said with a smirk. "Now let's go and catch some sleep." Jade said as she got up.
"Thank you for the conversation." Tori said.
"You're welcome." Jade said as both now stood in front of the tent. "Let me guess, you want a hug now, don't you?" Jade asked.
"You really do know me well." Tori said with a small smile.
"As if Cat isn't annoying enough with that... But why not." Jade said. Tori stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Jade. She felt Jade hug her back a moment later. Tori knew what was going to happen next, and as much as she just wanted to enjoy the rare moment of kindness from the Goth, she also hoped to find out what had happened in her past. A single moment later, everything went bright in front of her.
A young Jade was sitting in a chair in the living room where all hell was breaking loose. Her mother and father were yelling at one another, cursing and insulting along the way. Jade begged them to stop, but they only lashed out at her for that before going back to yelling at each other.
"I've had it!" Mr. West yelled before he dashed upstairs. Almost immediately later, he came down with a suitcase.
"What are you doing?" Ms. West asked him.
"You can go and live with that asshole you've been fucking with for the last six months." He said as he threw the suitcase that had her clothes and other things out of the door. She ran outside towards her things.
"You can't do this!" She yelled back at him to the house.
That moment Jade couldn't take it anymore. Crying already, she covered her ears and ran upstairs towards her room. She shut the door and threw a pillow over her head in hopes to silence her surroundings, but to no avail.
"What about Jade?" Jade heard her mother yell from outside.
"She's staying with me!" Her father yelled.
"What? No! I won't let you have her!" Her mother yelled from outside.
"Then take me to court and explain to them why you were bringing your boyfriend to our house to fuck him while Jade was asleep in the other room!" She heard her father yell before slamming the door hard. She heard her mother yell from outside while he cursed inside the house. Jade kept crying, not believing that it finally had come to this. Not believing that her family had fallen apart.
"So? Hugged enough?" Jade asked just as Tori snapped back into reality. She looked at Jade in disbelief. She had suspected that Jade's family wasn't the perfect one, but she never imagined that something like that had happened. It was so similar to what happened to Tori and yet it was different.
"Come on." Jade said as she unzipped the tent and got inside. Tori followed her a moment later, not believing what horrific thing she had just seen.
She looked down to see that there was only space next to Jade right now since Cat had taken up half the tent herself. Tori slowly lied down and pulled the blanket up to her chin. She saw Cat immediately shift. She rested her shoulder on Jade's and put her hand over Jade's stomach. Jade rolled her eyes while Tori looked on.
"I feel like one of her stuffed animal dolls whenever we have a sleepover." Jade mumbled.
"Good night." Tori said as she closed her eyes.
"Good night." Jade said. But Tori wasn't sure if she could sleep right now. Not after the last vision she had.