"Here, take this." Jade said as she got a plastic bag out of her larger one and threw it towards Tori who was sitting on the couch. It landed right next to her. Puzzled, Tori picked it up and took out what was in it. It was a pair of jeans, a black and a blue t-shirt.
"I don't…" Tori began as she looked at the other girl, but Jade decided not to wait for Tori to ask an obvious question.
"I figured that getting some clothes would be the least thing on your mind after everything. And since you and I are the same height, I brought you some of mine." Jade explained while a large smile appeared on Cat's face as she observed the interaction between her two friends.
"Thank you so much." Tori said as she looked up from the clothes at Jade.
"It's alright. I doubt people would want to watch you wear Cat's stuff. Although, you in tight clothes…" Jade said and then lowered her gaze and basically checked Tori out as she bit her bottom lip. Tori's face turned red almost immediately as she shifted her body and instinctively grabbed a pillow and hugged it to her chest. A wide smirk appeared on Jade's lips as she couldn't contain her laughter anymore. "I'm kidding, Vega. Don't take everything so seriously." Jade said.
That was Tori's problem with Jade. She never knew which actions and words from the Goth to take seriously. She never knew if Jade was actually honest or not, since their friendship or whatever it was changed on a daily basis. Jade would always throw jabs that could mean multiple things at her and it drove Tori crazy. This especially hurt her now because in the last few days Jade's behavior was both consistent and honest, or at least Tori hoped that it was. She was never sure about anything related to the other girl, and after learning that Jade had things buried in her mind possibly nobody knew she was even less sure about anything. She didn't even understand why this compliment made her blush like it did. Was it what was said or was it because Jade said it? Tori didn't know.
"Don't tell me that you are upset now?" Tori heard Jade ask. She turned her head and saw Jade looking at her. She then realized that she must have spaced out, a bad habit she had caught on in recent weeks.
"I'm not. I'll be right back." Tori said and quickly got up and walked upstairs. When she reached the stairs, she heard Jade sigh, but she didn't stop or turn around. She went right into the bathroom and locked the door. She wasn't upset at Jade's words. Compared to everything Jade did tell her in all those years they knew one another, this was nothing. What Tori needed was privacy. She needed to be alone so that she could think. She needed to readjust her mind back to normal, because right now it was the biggest chaos imaginable. She sat down on the bathroom floor and leaned on the bathtub. She took a towel and folded it before she placed it under her neck and head and used it as a makeshift pillow. Once she became comfortable, she closed her eyes and allowed her thoughts to go on freely, and yet, despite everything she could think about in her situation, her thoughts always landed back on Jade. It was a desire to know more about her; a desire to learn what life had done to her to mold and shape her the way she was now. It was a desire born from the wish to find a soul that she could relate to and who would understand her. Yet, she never imagined that it could end up being Jade. She couldn't believe that the person who could understand her the best was a person who was her polar opposite. Be it in style, preferences or simple attitude towards life, both girls couldn't be more different from one another.
"Tori, are you okay?" Tori heard Cat ask as she weakly knocked on the door.
"I'm fine." Tori responded halfheartedly.
"Are you sure? You've been in there for an hour and a half now." Cat said.
Tori sighed as she got up and turned the key to unlock the door. She sat back down as she heard the door slowly open. A moment later, she saw Cat carefully peek from behind the door.
"Can I come in?" Cat asked in a worried tone.
"It's your bathroom." Tori said in an attempt to make Cat laugh and possibly not ask any questions. When Cat didn't smile after that comment, Tori knew that she couldn't avoid this conversation.
"Jade didn't mean anything bad. Don't be upset." Cat said as she sat down next to Tori.
"I'm not upset." Tori said.
"Then why did you walk off like that?" Cat asked.
"I just needed some lone time. I didn't want to be the elephant in the room and just space out all the time." Tori explained.
"If you need to talk about anything…"
"I know, Cat. I know. But there are things none of you guys can help me with. It's something I can only do myself." Tori said. She saw Cat look down as a frown appeared on her face. Tori only knew too well how it felt to watch someone fall apart and be completely unable to do anything about that. It was the worst feeling in the world, and it seemed that everyone around her was feeling exactly that way. However, it wasn't only them who felt that way. Tori had the same feeling for them too after she had seen that they all had their own demons hidden.
"I wish I could help you." Cat said in a sad voice.
"You already helped me more than I could have ever expected anyone would. I'll be fine. I just need some time. That's all." Tori said.
"Okay. I understand. Will you come back downstairs? Jade thinks she upset you and feels bad." Cat said.
"She didn't. I'll talk to her, don't worry." Tori said as she got up.
Both girls walked downstairs and into the living room. However, Jade was nowhere to be found. Her bag was missing, too.
"Jade?" Cat called out, looking around the living room. Tori felt her chest tighten out of guilt. Did Jade leave now because of her? Tori never wanted that. She didn't want Jade to think that she was mad or anything. The opposite was the case. Tori wanted to spend more time with her. Tori wanted Jade to be around more often. She needed the other girl because she seemed to be the only one who really understood what was going on without Tori having to explain herself, something that is very painful as it makes her remember all those events that had turned her near perfect life upside down without a single warning.
"I'm outside!" They both heard the Goth yell. Cat walked into the kitchen and saw that the sliding door was open. Tori walked behind her, and felt as if a large boulder had been removed from her chest.
Both walked outside and saw Jade sitting on one of the long chairs that the Valentines had in their garden. On the small table was something that surprised the other two girls. There were three glasses and a large bottle of Old Canadian whiskey. Jade took the bottle and poured herself some into her glass before she took a little sip instead of downing it all at once.
"Why are you outside?" Cat asked.
"If I can enjoy a night sky in the woods I can also enjoy it in a garden. It's more comfortable." Jade said as she placed her glass back on the table. "Feel free to join me." She said as she motioned towards the glasses and the bottle.
"We're not 21." Tori said.
"It's wrong to do it no matter what age you are. And it does the same to you no matter if you are 18 or 21." Jade explained.
Tori wanted to say something, but was more than surprised when Cat sat down on one of those chairs herself and filled her glass before beginning to drink.
"Why not." Tori said more to herself than anyone as she sat down and filled her glass.
Two hours filled with comfortable silence later, half the bottle was gone. Tori emptied her glass and slowly reached for the bottle again. She almost knocked it down, but somehow managed to catch it again before it could hit anything. She leaned back down and looker to her right, where Cat was sleeping. She chuckled at the small redhead who went down after two glasses.
"First time you're drunk?" She heard Jade ask, breaking the silence.
"I would be lying if I said yes." Tori said.
"I thought so. When was the first time?" Jade asked.
"The first weekend after mom left. My dad used to send me to a store close to our house to get things before when we had guests over or something. The woman working there knows me and she thought that it was for my parents. I drank two bottles of wine that night and felt like crap in the morning." Tori explained. She looked to her left to see a small, amused smirk on Jade's lips. "When was yours?"
"I was fourteen. After all the bullshit at court between my parents I decided to raid my father's stash at home. I managed to get half a bottle of vodka down and woke up in my bathtub the next day. I had sat down in the bathtub, let the water flow over my head and threw up a dozen times before I fell asleep." Jade said.
"The divorce lasted so many years?" Tori asked, remembering that Jade looked way younger than fourteen in her vision.
"They had shared custody for a while, but my dad was persistent. He didn't want her to see me at all so he would just keep going from charge to charge in order to get sole custody for me. The shit I heard in those courtrooms…" Jade said as she shook her head.
"I'm glad I won't have to deal with that shit." Tori said.
"You should be. That place turns you into an object that everyone argues about. The things they've said to one another and all those accusations…"
"Do you want to talk about it?" Tori asked. She was aware of the risk of Jade blowing up on her again. She knew that it was a risk to ask, but she didn't know how many chances and those moments of honesty she would have again.
"You don't need to be my shrink next to all your crap." Jade said in a calm voice. There was no sign of anger in it.
"You were mine on more than one occasion." Tori said. Jade didn't respond immediately. She shook her glass and watched the ice swim around in the brown liquor, thinking about what to do. A few moments later, she downed the rest of her drink and lowered the glass back into her lap.
"It's funny how two parents who try to convince a judge to get the right to raise their child can result in the child hating both of them." Jade said.
"What do you mean?" Tori asked.
"All those arguments were nothing but moronic attempts for my parents to each fulfill their own agendas. My mother wanted to keep me because it meant that my dad would have to pay child support every month. Since he had a great job and made so much money, my mother would have gotten thousands of dollars every single month. She wanted custody over me for that reason. And my dad? He didn't want her to win. He wanted her to lose everything for what she had done, and in the end he succeeded. She got nothing because of the prenup she signed. He won. I was the trophy for him while the prize was my mother crying as the judge made his decision. That smile he had on his face that day is something I will never forget. He walked next to me and put his arm around me while my mother looked at us. He didn't even look at me, but only smiled her way. It was the last time I genuinely saw him smile. I can only imagine the satisfaction he must have felt that moment. And he walked away with me that day, a sign of his victory." Jade finished as she clenched her glass with both hands. Tori stayed silent, not knowing what to tell her friend.
"There you have it. That's how I got to live only with my dad." Jade said as she looked at the other girl. Tori looked back at Jade and saw that the other girl was crying. She was doing something Tori had not seen her do in years. She wasn't even trying to hide it. "I don't even know why I'm telling you this, Vega. It's an old wound that sometimes stings a bit. But I've dealt with worse shit than that. But that's a whole different story, and I don't want to talk about that."
"I'm glad you did. I'm glad that you trust me enough." Tori said.
"I always trusted you, Vega. Why else would I have asked for your help on so many occasions?" Jade asked.
"I don't know. You don't always make it look as if you do." Tori said. She heard Jade sigh and watched Jade pick up the bottle and fill her glass again before downing it in one shot.
"I give you a hard time, I know. But I can swear to you that I haven't said or done anything to you because I hate you or whatever idea you might have."
"It's not only me. You also go after Robbie way too much." Tori said.
"Same thing as with you." Jade said.
"I don't understand what you mean?"
"I've known Robbie for fifteen years now. Since preschool. I give him a bad time because I hope that one day he will snap back at me and say something back. I do this because I want to provoke him to stand up for himself. He is the most talented guy I've ever met and does so many amazing things he keeps to himself. His music, animations, writing… He is so naturally gifted in so many things and instead of focusing on that and drawing confidence from his talents, he acts like an idiot most of the time. He always tries to be something he isn't and I hate that!" Jade explained.
Tori was left speechless. She had no idea that Jade knew Robbie that well. She had no idea that Jade even cared for him at all.
"And you? Why did I give you all that crap? Because you were finally someone who was ready, willing and able to go toe to toe with me on anything I did. I found in you a good competition I needed to grow as an artist. And I wasn't the only one who grew. I saw you get better every time I somehow managed to outdo you. I saw you work harder and improve every day, which in result made me work harder. And then, one day with no warning, you come to school and are not yourself anymore. Your smiles were fake; your attention was everywhere but on school and you began avoiding us. We all were trying to figure out what was going on, but no one had even the slightest idea. You weren't our Tori anymore." Jade said.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys." Tori said, but Jade shook her head.
"I understand why you didn't. The last thing you needed was a group of people who would try to fix something you thought they had no idea of." Jade said.
"I was wrong, especially about you." Tori said.
"And I was wrong for saying what I said earlier today." Jade said. "I did it because I hoped I would see a glimpse of the old you again. I wanted to hear you say something back to me. I didn't mean to upset you."
"I wasn't upset. I just needed some time for myself. Had to get my own mind back under control."
"I understand." Jade said.
Comfortable silence filled the air again, giving both girls some time to absorb everything the other had said. Tori emptied the bottle into her glass and drank it before she put her glass back on the table.
"I'm happy we can talk like this." Tori said.
"Me too."
Tori got up and noticed that her legs weren't as stable as they used to be. She picked up her glass, Cat's glass and the empty bottle.
"I'm turning in. I'm sure I'll feel like crap in the morning." Tori said.
"You will. Whiskey is a bitch in the morning." Jade said. Tori placed the empty glasses and bottle on the kitchen table and walked out again. She saw that Jade was still sitting in her chair, looking at the sky. Tori smiled as she walked over to Cat's chair and gently woke the other girl up.
"Huh? What time is it?" Cat asked as she rubbed her eyes.
"It's three in the morning. Go get into bed, I'll be upstairs soon." Tori said. Cat only nodded. She got up and walked into the house. She made her way inside, but then heard something.
"Vega, wait." She heard Jade call.
"Yes?" Tori said as Jade got up and walked towards her.
"Thank you for listening to me." Jade said as she hugged Tori around the waist. Tori was shocked to see Jade of all people go and hug someone, especially her, but after everything that had happened today, it made sense.
"Thank you for telling me all those things." Tori said as she hugged Jade back. A few moments later, both girls pulled apart.
"Good night." Jade said as she walked inside. Tori smiled a wide smile. She walked into the kitchen and closed the slide door before locking it. She saw Jade lie down on the couch and a moment later, she heard a slight snore escape the Goth's sleeping body. Tori chuckled lightly as she walked upstairs, almost tripping a few times and walked into Cat's room. Cat was already asleep herself. Tori lied down on the bed next to her relaxed. She felt an arm wrap around her waist, which was typical for Cat. Tori closed her eyes and fell asleep a moment later.