"Yeah." Shuichi nodded his head after a moment's pause. "I do."
Eiri sat there for a moment, his arms still wrapped loosely around Shuichi, and he considered everything the vocalist had just told him. He was in a new relationship, and things were getting bad with Hiro and Suguru. Things were getting so messed up that Shuichi intended to let go of the one thing he had cared about the most, next to Eiri. The novelist shook his head, a wry smile touching his features.
"What?" Shuichi asked. "What are you thinking?"
"How ironic life can be," he replied, tilting his head back. "You let me go then you decide to disband Bad Luck. It almost seems like Karma."
"Like Karma? Are you feeling all right?" The vocalist pressed the back of one hand to Eiri's forehead. "This is so unlike you."
"So is you disbanding Bad Luck," Eiri shot back. "Does your new lover know any of this?"
"No. Not yet, though I think he suspects it's coming. He's smart like that. He sees what's going on every day."
Eiri glanced back at Shuichi. The singer's expression was pensive yet somehow now relieved. It was as if he had just gotten rid of a burden he could no longer bear. Perhaps he had, too. The author really could not say for certain, but he knew of at least one thing he could do for his former lover.
A tiny smile touched his features as he leaned over and kissed Shuichi on the cheek. The singer's head tilted in curiosity at the gesture.
"Do what you need to do," Eiri said, leaning back.
"I don't necessarily like what I need to do," Shuichi murmured.
"Who does?" Eiri shrugged. "Sometimes doing what needs to be done is hard, and it will piss people off. You said it yourself, Shu. Hiro and Suguru are not going to like your decision, but eventually they'll see that it's a good thing. Just don't do to them like you did to me."
"I won't scream at them. I promise."
"Good. Now . . . who is it that you're seeing?"
Shuichi smiled in an enigmatic manner as he rose to his feet. It was the same smile that sometimes emerged from the singer and had left Eiri feeling weak in the knees. This time was no different, and Eiri wondered, if only for a brief moment, if he would ever truly get over Shuichi. The vocalist had promised to always be there for him, and Eiri hated to think that whoever this new lover was, he would get in the way of what he and Shuichi had once had between them.
"I think I better not say, Eiri."
"Why?" Eiri rose to his feet as well and brushed invisible dust off his butt. "You afraid I'm going to threaten him?"
"You already have threatened him," Shuichi said. "You did that the moment you found out I'd moved in with him."
"Tohma?" Eiri thought the revelation should have shocked him, but for some reason it did not, unlike Shuichi's other confessions.
"Yeah . . . guess I just prefer blonds after all," Shuichi murmured with a slight laugh. His amethyst-coloured eyes glittered, happiness returning to them once more. Eiri felt his spirits lift in seeing the singer as he was supposed to be. Happy.
"I better get going and let you get back to work. I know you have a deadline and all." Shuichi paused for a moment then stood on his toes and kissed Eiri back on the cheek. "Thank you. You don't know how much this means to me."
'I think I do,' Eiri thought as the singer turned to go. His heart felt as if it would break all over again as Shuichi disappeared from his sight, but in the end he knew he would be all right. He had something that no one else could ever claim, and that was he was the first to have been loved, truly loved, by one Shuichi Shindou. The lines had been blurred for a while there, the world having turned into dull shades of black and white. They still were blurred but they were slowly clearing. It was a lame way of thinking, in Eiri's mind, but it was also appropriate.
He stood there for a few moments more before turning around and heading back to his laptop. His novels did not write themselves, and Eiri now felt more focused. He sat down and resumed his typing as if Shuichi had never been there.