Who's scared of the big bad wolf?

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The moment the mirror had broken and the time windows had disappeared, he'd felt the timelines snap into place around him. At the time he'd been understandably distracted by the multitude of robots surrounding the Madame de Pompadour, a historical figure that, if assassinated, would cause a paradox and invite reapers - which would be... well, disastrous to say the least.

But now... he looked at the glass of wine in his hand, the dark red colour oddly fascinating. Yet he knew he was just avoiding thinking about what that feeling meant. This regeneration was not particularly time sensitive and yet he had felt the timelines change. Which meant that the movement had been so drastic, the change so dramatic, it had actually erased several hundred timelines all at once.

The puzzle, however, was that that simply shouldn't have happened. Madame the Pompadour's life and death held a remarkable amount of fixed points - even more so than the King's - so any changes correlating with his own sudden emergence in the past should have only eliminated a handful of timelines, if that.

The problem was, he couldn't tell which timelines had been eliminated; the Tardis would be able to, as she had direct access to, literally, all of time and space. Time Lords were one of the few races able to handle seeing the time vortex, but even their view was limited and seeing timelines that technically didn't exist anymore was impossible for him.

There was one other possibility for so many timelines to disappear at that precise moment and it was a possibility he'd rather avoid considering altogether and one he definitely didn't want to contemplate in depth. When he'd ridden Arthur through the mirror, he had not only entered France and the Madame de Pompadour's life, he had also left Rose and Mickey behind.

Yet, for them it shouldn't matter. It would only be the blink of an eye for them before he was back. They wouldn't have to suffer a few decades of the slow path before they could catch a lift with one of their previous regenerations; and boy, he really didn't look forward to that conversation.

But there was the tiniest of tiny minuscule chances that him leaving them had caused these timelines to be erased, that in his absence something would take place - or maybe due to his absence? But no, that definitely couldn't - wouldn't happen. Rose was fine, just fine, as she always was.

His eyes automatically sought out the sky, wondering how Rose was handling it. Mickey, he knew, would be moaning and panicking and fussing. The boy would soon enough grow into a man and someone he'd call a worthy companion, but Rose had, even just moments after meeting him, refused to panic and leave the rescuing solely to him. No, instead she'd jumped right into the fray and saved his life. Rose had been a worthy companion from the moment he'd met her. She'd saved him - not just his life, but him.

Whenever he was near the brink, whenever he wasn't sure what the right choice was, what the humane thing to do was, she reminded him. She'd stood between him and the Dalek, had faced down werewolves - and the Queen - and been steadfastly at his side, holding his hand. She was more than just a companion, always had been. Rose made him better. And, thanks to her, he had finally remembered why he'd chosen the name Doctor, what his choices were and what choice he'd made every day since then. She had reminded him that it was okay to stumble as long as you stood back up; that it was okay to not get everything right because nobody was perfect, not even the Doctor.

And yet he'd left her behind without an explanation or a kind word. But still, there was time to rectify it. He'd be back with her in no time at all for her.

A small smile crept on his lips as he realised he'd not done what he normally did; instead of naming the stars, instead of remembering histories, wars or people all he'd done was think about which ones he'd been on with Rose and which ones he still wanted to show her.

That was the difference, he thought to himself. She made him want to show her the Universe, put all of time and space at her feet and watch as she would run alongside him, hand in hand, grinning that cheeky tongue-touched smile of hers as they saved civilisations, rescued planets and went for dinner with her mum. The Doctor and Rose Tyler in the Tardis - without her mum, thank you very much.

Despite everything she had seen, every horror she'd been subjected to, she still marvelled, her eyes still lit up in awe of every alien she saw, every foreign civilisation, every strange custom. There had been that one planet he'd accidentally-intentionally taken her to on the eve of a revolution. Not too terribly exciting; it was something that happened with startling frequency in spite of the fact that he had been aiming for a beach. No, the most interesting fact about the planet was that you had to walk backwards and talk in reverse. Needless to say, Rose had loved every second there.

He prided himself on his brain but it had even taken him a few moments to reverse what he was intending to say; Rose had taken to it like a fish to water. She'd smiled that smile where, rather distractingly, her tongue would peek out between her lips and successfully managed to finagle them out of prison - yes, they'd ended up in one again, somehow - and into the Tardis before all hell broke loose and before they had started the war the Doctor had very nearly unleashed. But who was he to know that it had been the prince he'd seen with the revolutionist? I mean, really, how unlikely was it that they would appear in that precise moment at that specific place just in time to hear the prince show the revolutionaries the easiest way to sneak into the castle.

Okay, well, given his rather spectacular history of just such incidents, maybe it had been more likely than not, but still it wasn't his fault that the guards, who had followed him, had then uncovered the conspiracy and, with his attempt at talking fast - backwards - he'd successfully diverted the guards attention by one or two unintentional insults.

And it wasn't his fault that they had then been convicted - without a trial - as guilty of conspiracy to treason and sent to prison. Still, Rose had gotten them out even if she had to flirt - backwards - with the guard to be allowed to talk to the superior.

He had lost his ability to experience wonder at the marvels of the universe a long time ago and he frequently had companions with him not just to stave off the loneliness and to remind him of his humanity, no, he had them there so he could, just for a moment, see what they saw, see the wonder, the amazement in their eyes as worlds and entire universes opened up before them. But Rose was different - she'd given him the ability to feel the wonder again himself every time he took her somewhere.

But now, here, in this incredible era of human history inside the truly resplendent palace of Versailles, looking up at the stars, all he could see was gaseous balls of matter. He could see their beginning and their end, knew what races and what wars were waged on its soil - if, indeed, it had any soil.

But that's all they were - a list of facts. No sense of wonder, of curiousity. One of the most remarkable women of human history was just a room away and yet he simply didn't care. She was beautiful, interesting, bright, cultured, intriguing and yet all he wanted to do was drag Rose over and tell her all about Madame de Pompadour, wanted Rose to feel the wonder and astonishment at all this woman had accomplished in her short lifespan so he could see it through her eyes.

He snorted. Pathetic. She'd had him pegged on that first trip - "You think you're so impressive!" and his reply of "I am so impressive!".

And god, she'd be bored to death up on that ship on her own. He hoped Mickey didn't infuriate her too much; he would rather not have to deal with a grumpy Rose upon his return. Okay, so maybe he shouldn't have compared her to her mother, but then again this regeneration seemed to have lost the ability to filter his words before they reached his mouth.

Not-ginger and rude, indeed. ... He wondered if she was looking at the stars right now too, thinking of him.

Then he heard the steps behind him and allowed his thoughts of Rose to fall away behind the locked doors in his head, the one that held all his precious memories of the young blonde woman.

It was somewhat amusing that, for all her intellect, Madame de Pompadour failed to see what was right in front of her. Of course, when he had entered her head after she'd given him permission, he hadn't bothered to ensure their connection was one-way; after all, not only was it beyond rude and intimate to simply enter another's mind without their permission, but moreover he hadn't expected her to be capable of it. Few humans were.

And when she was in, it had been soothing to have someone - anyone - in his mind again, so he had allowed her to stay. But she didn't seem to have noticed that he had changed the content behind the doors so that whatever she saw, while true, didn't really have an emotional effect on him. Nothing about Rose or the war, time lords, regeneration, Romana, Sarah Jane or any of his previous companions. She'd caught glimpses, mere glimpses of moments - and she'd thought she knew him. He hadn't shown her his fury, his anger, his hatred; the reason why he was called the Oncoming Storm. She'd seen what he wanted her to see - the good he'd done, the people he'd saved. And yet, irrationally, he knew, he was angry at her for not recognising him as more than a one-dimensional being, for something other than perfect. Rose knew him better by far and that was without having been in his head.

Reinette was remarkable and intelligent, but she had, as had so many of his previous companions, made him out to be a hero in her fairytale, her knight on his white horse riding to her rescue-... Okay, so he had technically done just that, but the point was that she refused to see all of him.

Rose saw. Rose had seen him at his best and at his worst and she'd stood at his side throughout... He really wasn't very good without her. His thoughts kept returning to her even when she wasn't there. He'd started to rely on her and it was startling to realise just how often he turned to make a comment, a mischievous thought or a warning only to realise there was no one there and his hand was reaching for someone too far away to respond.

A part of him wondered what he'd do when she'd inevitably die of old age, if not sooner - or if she left him, as most before her had. What would he do without Rose in his life? When he'd first regenerated after the war, as the only one left, with an echoing emptiness inside his head, he'd thought that this wasn't him - wartorn, upset and desperate - oh so desperate for any kind of companionship, anything to fill the empty void... But now he thought that maybe he'd been more himself than ever. With no distractions, no rules, nothing to hide the old man behind the young man's guise, nothing to hide the loneliness, the guilt and the anger. And Rose had seen it, had seen it on their first adventure, and she'd reached out, held his hand and said "you've got me."

He never had told her how much that meant to him, never would. He'd been trying so hard to put distance between them, to give the young woman back to the world she should live in; but, by Rassilon, the one thing he wanted, more than anything else, was for her to stay with him forever. He'd give up everything if she could just stay with him, if for once he could just be selfish and have what he really wanted.

But he knew he was doing the right thing. She would never be happy with him. She'd grow old, resent him for his youth and be unable to run anymore. He didn't want that - oh, he would never be bothered by age. Rose was... well, Rose. Old, young, he suspected the same vibrancy that had originally lured him in would not fade with age. But he never wanted her unhappy.

She should live on earth, shining and a happy guiding light to anyone who was lost, as lost as he had been. Rose was not meant to run around with a time lord who told her he was only nine hundred years old, with someone who only wanted her to himself. He could never give her a family, a happy ever after and a picket fence with - he grimaced - mortgages and carpets and curtains. No, he'd try, for her, of course he would. But soon the itch would be too strong, the urge to run. And he never wanted to run without her hand in his.

She'd wormed her way into his hearts and his life before he'd ever even realised what had happened. For her he'd done things like hold her at night, soothe away tears and nightmares, cook food together and even reading to her in the library.

He still remembered the first time that he had realised just how insecure Rose was about certain things. It was silly really - of course she'd have things she was proud of and others she had never been complimented on and he'd known that her education - and the lack thereof - was a sore subject, but never quite how much.

At least not until she'd accidentally found him in the library one day, a couple of days after the Charles Dickens adventure.

Grinning to himself, the Doctor reached for another Sherlock Holmes - the original, thank you very much, because even the 48th century rewrite was just never quite as good - and leaned back in his favourite chair in the back corner of the library, hidden between two bookshelves.

He was half-way through before he got distracted by a flash of blonde in the corner of his eyes. Curious, he watched as his latest companion, Rose, wandered past him again, mouth open and eyes alit with hunger as her eyes roamed about the high shelves and rows upon rows of books. Standing up with a grace that belied his true age he silently made his way out to the middle of the library, watching as her hands touched the back of century-old books with a reverence that only further incited his curiousity. Most kids her age had better things to do than read books; they were fully engulfed in their world of TVs and gaming.

Finally, clearing his throat, he spoke up and watched as she darted back like a startled rabbit.

"Y'know, those books, they're meant for more than just lookin' at."

Her hands had fallen to her side and she gave him this shy half-smile, looking up at him through a curtain of blonde hair. He could see her blasé response almost forming and was intrigued to see her swallow it, uncertainty written across her face as she looked at him.

"I... Could I? I mean, I'll be real careful and I'll take care of them and everything. I won't damage 'em."

And she must have seen his frown because he could see her backpedalling, not realising that the surprised anger wasn't aimed at her but rather at whoever had clearly forbidden her from reading books.

"Sorry, 's just... I just wanted to read some of Charlie's books and I really didn't mean-"

His mild headshake had her breathing out a sigh of disappointment but instead of explaining - which he knew he would somehow just end up making it worse - he linked their hands together and walked down to the 18th century section of the library, only vaguely noting his own surprise at the ease and familiarity his movements had held when he'd reached for her hand, even though she'd only been with him for a few days.

His hands caressed the book spines in a similar manner as he had seen Rose doing but moments earlier, searching out a specific one. A slight noise of triumph escaped him when he waved the sought-after book in his hand and passed it to his extremely puzzled companion.

Grinning widely, he allowed himself to fall backwards onto the couch, gesturing for her to take the seat next to him, even as he stretched himself out further.

"Now that, Rose Tyler, is a first edition of 'The Mystery of Edwin Drood', his last book." Her wide eyes were on him and he could almost see her uncertainty in whether or not she was even allowed to touch this book.

"It's one of my favourites - well, I say one of my favourites, really all his books are quite good. I guess you could say I'm a fan of his works." He grinned to himself, remembering the discussion he'd had with Charlie about that particular word.

"Have a read, see what you think."

"I- You mean, I can...? And this one?" She looked at him uncertainly, clearly cautious about holding, never mind reading, a first edition of such a valuable book. He waved her concerns away.

"'Course. Books are meant to be read. They're knowledge, stories, meant to be shared not to be hoarded and hidden away from the rest of the world. Books are there to teach us, to entertain and educate at the same time. So, go on, it's all yours. Tardis gave you a room, only fair you get one from me too for coming on board - so, here you go. Welcome aboard!"

He'd spluttered in surprise when the girl had fairly launched herself at him, arms wrapping around his neck as she whispered a heartfelt thanks and planted a kiss on his cheek. Then, just barely a moment later, she was right back to being the confident young woman who had swung to his rescue against the Nestene Consciousness, leaning casually against his side as she opened the first page and settled in for a read, smiling widely enough that his own lips twitched in response, infectious as always with her enthusiasm.

A little later on, when they had started reading to each other in the library - moments which were occasionally sombre but mostly filled with laughter and teasing - she had confessed that she hadn't been in a library since primary school. There was only one library within commutable distance of the estate and the librarian had changed when she was barely eight years old. The new one was extremely prejudiced against 'estate kids' and thought they were all out to destroy her precious books. So, while she wasn't banned precisely, the librarian had made it extremely uncomfortable for her, accusing her of destroying books which had already pen marks in them when she'd first lent them until she'd been so humiliated and hadn't dared to go back to the library; not to mention they couldn't afford to pay for any books which she'd supposedly destroyed.

It was another one of the many vulnerabilities she'd bared to him and aside from a one-armed hug and a kiss on her head, they'd never mentioned it again. Maybe that was what had allowed her to become so empathic towards all manner of creatures and aliens they encountered, maybe that was the reason why she was so tolerant of all species - even Daleks - until they proved themselves actually guilty. But even if it was the reason, he still wished he could erase these things for her, wished he could help her somehow, but really; even gifting her with the red bicycle when she was twelve had been pushing it.

He missed her, missed it, that unquestioning comfort, the shared laughter and the occasional tears for the ones they couldn't save - he missed all of it. He wanted her with him so badly and yet he couldn't help but push her away for her own sake. She shouldn't want him, shouldn't want to spend her life with him. Look at what he had done to Sarah Jane - waiting half her life for him to return. He couldn't do that to her, not to Rose, couldn't bear coming back to see her searching his eyes, looking for an emotion she wasn't sure she would find.

Finally, Reinette drew up beside him, jerking him out of his thoughts and allowing him to focus on the present - past? - he was stuck in. Her eyes followed his, staring up to the starlight sky.

"You know all their names, don't you?"

Relief flooded him and he happily responded to her queries, flirting with the most prized courtesan in French history.

Gone. Just like that, as if he'd never been there.

"We can't fly the Tardis without him. How's he gonna get back?", Mickey's voice was faint, far away, though he stood but a few feet from her.

She had known what he needed to do, had the realisation almost the same moment as the Doctor had... except she'd expected the three of them to be on the horse. Not just him, alone, riding out on a white horse to rescue the King's mistress. No, it was safe to say that had never occurred to her. It had always been the two of them, together. And even if he fussed and moaned about danger, he'd still always given in and taken her along, hand in hand.

So why not this time, why not now? What made this rescue so different from the others?

Rose swallowed heavily. Mickey relied on her, the same way he'd always done, but just now, for just a moment, she needed to get herself back. All day long, the Doctor had biting remarks for her, curt words, brushes that were forceful enough to send her stumbling backwards.

She couldn't handle Mickey's concerns on top of her own just now. All she wanted was a moment, just a moment, so she could remember who Rose Tyler was and that more than the Doctor being worth the monsters, he loved her; maybe not the way she wanted him to, but he loved her nonetheless. Slowly, ever so slowly, she felt herself calm down, remembered the trust the Doctor had in her. No problem. He'd be back soon enough and until then she could finally show him that this time she hadn't lost her faith in him.

A small part of her wondered how long it had been for the Doctor and how he was handling 'domestic' life. She allowed herself a small smile at the thought that he wouldn't know what to do with himself, never mind how to earn money and rent a place. Oh, it would be hilarious; or it would've been, had she been there with him and able to tease him endlessly.

Then there was the cold reminder that this was Mickey's first real excursion into space and he had no grasp of any of this. He had just come to the startling realisation that yes, Mickey Smith really could die on a desolate spaceship floating through space, far away from the planet he was born on and the people he loved.

"Don't worry, Micks, we'll be fine on the Tardis for months. And the Doctor's gonna return quite quickly. He only needs to triangulate our position; he'll probably be here in a few hours. So, how about I show you the Tardis game room in the mean time, yeah? It's got the biggest screen you've ever seen and you can watch all the best sports telly in history in 3D!"

And hook, line, sinker. Mickey was happily off in la-la-land before she'd even managed to show him the actual room; probably imagining all his favourites he could rewatch.

That had been before they started fighting more, before Mickey grew restless and resented her for, as he called it, covering for the Doctor. He didn't believe her when she'd tried to tell him this was the first time - but it was true. They had never been separate for longer than a few hours; both of them were always fighting their way back to one another. A small part of her couldn't help but wonder if this, too, was part of him trying to put some distance between them.

Of course Rose knew he wouldn't really do that, wouldn't be so needlessly cruel, but yet this had been the same man who had, when she'd been lying, terrified and with a clockwork robot about to cut into her, on a cold steel table that wouldn't be amiss in a mortuary, accused her of sounding just like her mother. And that, she knew, was no compliment from him.

Shivering, Rose cowered deeper into her three duvets. Today was really cold and she felt the Tardis hum apologetically at her. They really needed to do the energy exchange with the ship today; yet she dreaded it. The pain seemed worse than she remembered every time but there wasn't really any other choice.

It was nearing the time for his return, very close, she could feel it, knew it. But what could she tell him, what would she tell him? She'd changed - there was no other way to describe it. She was still Rose Tyler, but she wasn't human anymore.

By now she didn't even need to be one with the Tardis to see time. She could see it, swirling everywhere, everywhen. When Micks had still been here, she'd seen glimpses, every now and then, around him, swirling, strands of the past, of potential futures and small glitters of artron energy, a trace of his two trips inside the Tardis. But now she couldn't not see it. It was everywhere, around her, time. She could even speed it up and slow it down - well, for a few seconds anyway. And her mind - she could see so much more - figuratively, not literally.

It felt both fuller and emptier than ever before. The memories of the time she'd spent in the time vortex with the Tardis were blurry - she knew there was something she wasn't supposed to remember yet and that's why it was so indistinct, but she remembered glimpses of the Doctor's past and his past faces, of a younger Sarah Jane... she had more knowledge than ever before and yet, at the same time, her mind was so devastatingly empty, a resonating echo for her thoughts, yearning for another and reaching out, endlessly, further and further and only gently pushed back into herself by the Tardis' gentle, mothering touch.

Was that how the Doctor felt, every day? Only it had to be so much worse for him - he, at least, knew what he was missing, knew what it should feel like, knew just how wrong this was, this empty head. She didn't know, would maybe never know, the only voice in hers was her own and the Tardis. Sometimes it frightened her just how difficult it was to feel the Tardis as a different entity, as not her. Sometimes it was so easy to get lost in the vastness of the ship, in the feeling that she'd been there for all this time and would be there for the rest of it, that she was endless and permanent, that she would be bringing her thief to where he was needed the most, that she would look after him and then, finally die with him; the grave of the last time lord in history.

It was hard to remember herself and yet every time it was the ship who guided her back, who gently reminded her and prodded her until the blonde came to and remembered that she was not a ship, not able to travel through time and space, that she was simply a girl from the estate called Rose Tyler.

How could she explain that to the Doctor? How to tell him she wasn't human anymore, that sometimes she forgot even that she had ever been one? This was, after all, the same man who had been disgusted by 51st century humans changing themselves to live longer. Would he still want her? Even knowing she'd done it for him, would it be enough? Would he still let her travel with him? Or would he send her back to her mum - her mum who was weary of anything different, anything alien?

The Tardis, now more than ever, was her home. She couldn't let anyone take that away from her, not even her Doctor. She couldn't tell him, wouldn't tell him. He mustn't know. As long as he'd think of her as Rose Tyler, she should be safe, right? And she was still the same girl, of sorts, same fears and doubts, same love for this blue old box and the madman usually inhabiting it.

Despite the Tardis' protests, Rose made her way to the console room, blanket covering her shoulders in a vain attempt to ward off the chill.

"'s okay. Just a bit, keep you running till the Doctor can take you to Cardiff, eh?"

And with a sigh that seemed to vibrate through the corridors, the ship gave in and she could hear the mental admonishment that told her she really needed to get some sleep and rest after that.

Rose rolled her eyes and, in response, got a zap to her hand that had her yelping.

"Yes, yes, I got it, mum. Lots of sleeping and resting, promise!"

The Tardis gave an annoyed huff in response, the ship having learnt the almost-human like manners largely by sharing minds with her. Of course the ship had no mouth to make noises with, but instead it had a variety of ways to make itself known and especially with the link between them, it had become progressively easier to translate the responses in her head until that's what the Tardis actually sounded like.

Rose licked her dry lips, hands fastened on the grating as it had been so often over the past few months, a ritual she both loved and despised in equal measures, opening up to each other fully and without reservations. And then the blissful feeling of momentary oblivion fell over her as she felt the energy from the ship rush through her and for just a moment all the exhaustion, stress, pains and emotions fell away and all there was, was this song, her song, echoing, vibrating, simultaneously loud enough to fill her head and gentle enough to not hurt her. It was perfection - it described all she was, all she would be, all she could be and everything in between.

A sigh fell from her lips and she gave in to the sensations and watched as all the beauty of the time vortex was laid bare in front of her.

Rose looked at the mirror; this was her exact outfit from all those months ago. Her hair was still wet from the shower but that was okay. No, what she worried about was the evidence of her weight loss. The shirt, while not skin tight, revealed too much and the jeans were definitely too well-fitted. She couldn't fill them anymore.

A grimace twisted her lips as she stared at her reflection. She wasn't far off those super-skinny twigs - read: supermodels - where you could count the ribs. That wasn't good. And she'd lost colour - months on a spaceship had allowed her natural tan to fade until she had gained a slightly sickly pallor.

Her hair, curiously enough, hadn't grown much so the difference was barely noticeable. She chanced another look at herself and then shrugged; it would have to do. There was a possibility the Doctor would notice that she had lost an impressive amount of weight in what would've only been a few days, but there was nothing she could to change that.

It was coming up to six months now and today was the day the Doctor was going to come back to her. She'd decided to tell him that it had been five and a half days. Just enough time for him to hopefully explain away the weight loss but not enough for him to feel guilty about.

Rose sighed - soon she'd finally be able to have real food again. She missed it.

It was only when she stepped out of the blue ship that had been her haven for the past few months that she saw the remains of the clockwork robot, broken on the ground and cursed. She'd forgotten about that thing. Mickey had rescued her but she'd still managed to get a scar from their encounter and she really didn't need to give the Doctor yet another reason to look at her more closely. She could feel the shift, knew the moment of his return was drawing ever closer so she quickly ran up to the robot and used one of its arms to pull it down one of the side corridors and - hopefully - out of view.

"Madame de Pompadour!"

A smile involuntarily made its way to her face at the familiar voice coming from the room with the fireplace. God, she'd missed him. It had been too long, far too long without him - and without his hugs. Say what you like about the Doctor, but he was great at giving hugs.

She abandoned the robot in one of the alcoves and hurried back, hearing the faint voice of Reinette and the much clearer voice of her Doctor conversing.

"Still wanna see those stars?"

"More than anything."

"Gimme two minutes. Pack a bag."

"Am I going somewhere?"

"Go to the window and pick a star, any star."

Rose's smile faded. So she was right, had been right all along. That's how easy she was to replace. A new companion - not permanent, but then he'd told her not so long ago that they were all pretty much a blink of his eye to them. The must all seem like children to him, barely out of their cradles.

She pasted a smile on her face when the Doctor burst in, arms enfolding her in a hug and against her will she found herself relaxing in his arms, his warmth - the familiar smell engulfing her. And the first human touch she'd had in months. Tears gathered in the corners of her eye and she hid her face against his shoulder. He wouldn't notice, of that, at least, she was certain now. Too caught up in his next whirlwind of an adventure.

He was so excited, so enthusiastic, bursting to the brim with uncontained energy - the very thing she loved about him. Usually that's what told her to prepare for one of the adventures that involved a lot of running and a lot of very fast talking and usually a fair amount of life-threatening danger. But this time it wasn't for an adventure with her - rather it was for one with the beautiful courtesan.

"How long did you wait?"

Even his voice sounded excited. Her heart dropped. Five and half - nearly six - months of pain, of coldness, of loneliness, of feeling abandoned, of reassuring herself and here he was, about to run back to the other woman. Even now, closer to him than she'd ever been in both species and capabilities and still not good enough, maybe worse than ever.

So she did what she'd done since she was a child and realised how sad her mother was if Rose was upset, how sad she made people if they knew she wasn't happy.

She swallowed the tears, recalling happier moments and infected her voice with just the right amount of enthusiasm.

"Five and a half-"

"That's good! Always wait five and a half hours! Where's Mickety-Mick?"

Another lie - but he was too distracted, he wouldn't notice.

"Ah, he's gone to get some sleep. Been a bit of a long day for him. Reckon he didn't expect quite that much running."

Her Doctor tsked, "That's just silly, running's good. Been doing it all my life."

Rose nearly smiled at that - she knew all about that, about stealing the Tardis and running away. Well, okay, not all about it. Vague impressions - but enough to tell her he really had been doing just that for most of his life.

"Where've you been?"

She hoped her voice hadn't sounded nearly as accusatory as it had in her head, but the Doctor took no notice, swinging open the door to his blue ship and giving her a passing caress.

"I'll tell you late- Woah, that's cold. C'mmon, old girl, we're travelling with humans here. Up the temperature a bit!"

He patted the wooden doors and ran off to the fireplace. The smile dropped of her face the moment he left.

It was hard to swallow past the lump in her throat. She'd thought about this so often, about his return, but this was not how she'd imagined it. There had been joy, love, hugs - sometimes even kisses. Never him running off to get someone else to come with him.

Closing her eyes, Rose took a deep breath, swallowing down the pain and loneliness, hand leaning against the blue police box for support. She allowed herself another glance backwards, just in time to watch her time lord disappear through the fireplace. She wasn't prepared for the wave of fear and panic that nearly overtook her as she watched him disappear without a backward glance. Gone - alone again.

This time the tears didn't come, the pain didn't rise, her heart didn't burn... she just felt hollow, empty. Nothing mattered anymore; what did it matter if her she loved him? He didn't feel the same anymore. What did it matter if she wanted to be by his side always, to never leave him? He didn't want her there. He had a billion people he could use to replace her. To him, she was nothing. And it should hurt and she could feel it, sort of, a slight pain, but mostly there was just this deep dark well of emptiness. It was screaming inside her, begging to not be so lonely, to be loved, to be hugged, to be told she mattered. But it didn't hurt so much anymore. Breathing was easier, now. At least she knew, now.

He'd left her behind. Again. Abandoned. Not worth taking with him, not worth making sure she was alright, not worth... anything.

Her hand dropped from the blue box and she could feel the ship trying to send her reassurances, sending her love, but it never got through to her. Entering the blue ship, she patted the console gently in gratitude, before turning her attention down the corridor.

Back when he was northern, a door had been created between their bedrooms and her room had relocated to just next to his. Silently she took in the current arrangement, a sharp burst of pain welling up inside her as her hands touched the wall and she willed the ship to rearrange itself.

She could feel the ship's confusion and protest but finally Rose's will won out when she'd threatened to sleep in an empty guestroom. A new door formed next to the Doctor's and in beautiful, curved letters, Reinette's name was shown on it. Rose's own had been moved to a corridor a few staircases down - away from both Mickey's and the Doctor's.

There, the way it should be. A room fit for a queen - or a King's courtesan - right next to the Time Lord's. It hurt seeing someone else's room next to his, but she knew it was only right. Reinette was, after all, his current companion as far as the Doctor was concerned.

She remembered a time when he'd dropped anyone to come to take her away to somewhere - but now that was for Reinette. Hands falling to her side, empty eyes stared at the corridor, now lit brightly again as there was no need to economise anymore. It hurt and she felt so lonely, all she wanted to do was curl up and cry and yet she couldn't. The tears wouldn't come. Her throat felt tight and her eyes hurt, but she just couldn't cry. After all, she should've known this was coming all along.

The doors of the Tardis swung shut, the silent footsteps alerting her to the Doctor's return. Rose frowned. Those weren't the excited half-running steps her Doctor made and, more importantly, there was no echo of footsteps behind him. He was alone.

Slowly she made her way back to the console room, watching as her Doctor stood, empty gaze directed at the screen that showed the fireplace. She hesitated only a moment longer before she slid up beside him, her hand interlinking with his, a silent show of support.

The blonde woman looked up at him, trying to gauge his mood and finally broke the silence with what she hoped would help - a distraction. There was no need to ask what had happened. The time windows had realigned the moment he'd come back through the fireplace and instead of time running faster here and slower there, the opposite had once again been true. Years had probably passed - years of the courtesan waiting for the Doctor to show her the stars even as she suffered through months and months of a disease wasting away her body.

"Why her? I mean, out of all of time and space, why did the robots need her?"

The Doctor only gave her a small searching look, before he blabbered on about what pretty much amounted to 'Not a clue'.

They both fell silent once again and Rose knew what he needed to do - and that at least she could be there for him when he did it. Her hands tightened slightly on his and they both watched as with a small movement of the lever, the light in the fireplace extinguished for the last time, once and for all closing all the time windows to the little girl they had watched grow up only to lose her to death far too soon.

The Doctor was still wearing his coat - a sure sign that he still felt he needed the armour.

"Micks is asleep. Fancy a cuppa in the library?"

It was surprisingly easy to forget her own heartache, her own resentment and anger when faced with the death of this woman and her Doctor's pain. She didn't ever want to hurt him, not really. She smiled up at him, letting him know without words that she wouldn't be offended if he said no, if he would rather be alone.

He never answered, just using the levers to send the Tardis off into the vortex and then left her to float aimlessly. He gave her another indiscernable glance as he strode off, leaving her behind - but he did head for the library. Taking that as tacit consent to her presence, she quickly made two cups of tea, forgoing the cookies due to a lack of.. well, anything edible, and made her way to what she'd dubbed their couch, hidden in an alcove, surrounded by books and with a small fireplace nearby.

Mutely, she handed him his tea, watching as he gazed blankly at the parchment in his hand. A letter from her, not doubt. He noticed her eyes then and after only a moment's contemplation, he handed it to her. For a moment she wanted to see, to read it, find out what she'd left for him but then reason won out over curiousity and she folded it up.

"I've read about her, you know." Rose gently put the parchment back on the table, not daring to look back up at him and took hold of her own cup of tea, leaning back in the couch, making sure their legs brushed against another slightly, the contact still comforting after such a long time without any.

"Didn't look like you'd heard of her earlier."

There was no accusation to his voice so she merely nodded and confirmed his suspicions.

"That's because I hadn't." Rose mustered a small smile, knowing he wouldn't understand the irony in her voice at her next words. "But I did, after all, have five and a half hours... She was very impressive, wasn't she?"

Her doctor made a vague agreeing noise, so she continued.

"Maybe even more than you", she teased, receiving an eyeroll and the barest hint of a smile in return.

"Have to say though, I couldn't ever imagine having a child and then raising it to be a ... well, a well-paid prostitute. Shouldn't she want more for her?"

That topic rang an uncomfortable bell suddenly with her own mother telling her to not be getting airs and that she'd be working in a shop - but the Doctor didn't pick up on her distraction, instead explaining her earlier question.

"Different times, different perspectives. A courtesan for a queen is a highly sought-after profession."

Rose hummed slightly, leaning her head against his shoulder.

"'M sorry, you know. I think she would've loved it. Who wouldn't? You can show people the stars. I'm sorry she never got to see all the wonders out here. She would've been perfect for this life."

Against her expectations, the Doctor suddenly snorted.

"Nah, she would've never enjoyed our life. She wanted to see the stars, I wanted to show them to her, but can you really imagine her running? Or in a jail cell? Nah, she liked the idea of it, but it wouldn't have suited her. But she deserved to see something more - she was a visionary for her times and she should've been allowed the world she'd helped create, should've been allowed to see the other worlds and cultures out there."

Rose didn't know what to make of that - she'd often thought similar thoughts over the past few months, but since he'd invited her, she'd thought there was far more to her than she'd seen. And that was fair enough - how well could you really know a person by reading about her two hundred years later?

She opened her mouth, about to ask him if he still wanted her to come with him, not knowing if she wanted to hear his answer, when he abruptly stood up, tea finished.

"I'm going to get some sleep. See you in a couple of hours?"

Scowling, Rose stared after him. He'd not only left her with his empty tea cup, no he'd not even let her say goodnight. When the library doors closed, her scowl dropped and she allowed the pain to return.

This was not the way anything was meant to go - not for her, not for the Doctor and definitely not for Madame de Pompadour.

And it was time to get Mickey back on board - that would take some persuasion.

A silent request to the Tardis made sure the Doctor wouldn't be able to enter the library until she was finished.

She held her breath until, finally, Mickey answered the phone.

"Rose? God, please tell me it's you. Rose? Are you okay?"

It felt so good to hear from him, to hear from someone who had been concerned for her.

"Hey Micks. Yeah, it's me. 'm sorry for not calling sooner."

She could hear his forced calm breath on the other end and Sarah Jane's voice in the background asking if this was her. Well, at least he hadn't returned to the estate.

"What did you mean with your letter? I'd have to go back? And what the hell happened there? You were bleeding! And you were- I don't know what that was but there was this golden light and-"

"Yeah, I know, I'm sorry. I haven't got the time just now to explain and I need to ask you for a huge favour." She could hear him inhale, about to interrupt her.

"No, Mickey, I really need you to listen. I did something really, really stupid. And it means I can sort of see... well, I know what's going to happen - what has to happen. And listen to me, I'm going to land the Tardis near you. The Doctor is back now and he can't know you ever left. You have to come with us on one more trip or thousands of people will die, me and the Doctor included. I am so, so sorry, but I really need you to come."

There was a pause and she held her breath, hoping he'd agree. Finally she heard the resigned exhale from her ex-boyfriend.

"Of course I'll come, Rose, you know that. I'd never let you die. But I don't understand - why can't the Doctor know? He left us there, Rose. Abandoned us - for months! Hell, for all I know you've been there alone for another couple of years. He can't-"

Her voice was empty as she clarified, "He thinks it was five and a half hours."

"He WHAT?"

Rose swallowed, knowing the worst was yet to come.

"Promise me, Micks, whatever happens to me, to you or to him, you can't tell him, not ever. He can't know. Promise me."

"No way. That bastard left us and he deserves to know what he's done to you!"

Closing her eyes, pressing the back of her hand to her eyes, she looked at the floor, knowing she'd have to tell him.

"I'm not human, Micks. Not anymore. And he can't know. It would kill him, please. That golden light you saw? That was me. Is me. I can't really explain it, but please. I can't be left behind. Please don't tell him. He'd ask questions, questions you wouldn't be able to answer without telling him about me. Please, Mickey. I never told anyone about the smoke you had after school or the jumper you stole. Please."

A humourless laugh echoed through her mobile phone.

"I think this is just a little bit bigger than that." Another pause. "Okay, listen, I won't say anything, but you can't expect me to be civil to him."

Rose laughed lightly.

"You've never been civil to him."

"Yeah, well, at least the last him wouldn't have left you behind."

She couldn't say anything to that and he knew her well enough to read her silence.

"I'm gonna grab some food since I presume we're not telling his lordship about the mysteriously depleted supplies either. When are you coming?"

"Tonight for you. Five minutes for me."

She heard Mickey communicate with Sarah Jane in the background before he confirmed the date for her. She nodded and hung up without a goodbye.

Time for her to get them to Sarah Jane's. The Doctor had gotten the Tardis into the vortex, so she only had a little bit of work to do to get to Earth. The ship knew their plan, so she could count on her to send the Doctor to one of the other console rooms and momentarily distract him.

Swallowing her fears, Rose strode over to the telepathic interface and without a moment's thought, sunk her hands in.

Sarah Jane's timeline was familiar and easy to pick out among the thousands of billions of timestreams - well, relatively speaking at least.

A pull and with the Tardis' help it was a rather painless procedure. She quickly checked the console screens to ensure her landing was accurate, but rushed to move on as she could already hear the Doctor's bedroom door being flung open and his footsteps running through the corridors, cursing the ship for diverting him time and again. Rose smirked slightly and then made her way to the doors.

Barely a step outside she felt Sarah Jane's arms and Mickey's both wrap around her. Only a moment later Sarah Jane pulled back, gave her a quick, critical once over and then a curious look.

"You've lost weight... Intentional?"

Rose almost grinned. Sarah Jane, investigator. And she'd picked up on it when the Doctor hadn't. To be fair, though, he was a bloke and they were often oblivious to these things.

"No. Unfortunate side-effect. 'M afraid we're really short of time and have to dash. Lovely to see you, Sarah Jane. Thanks for taking care of Mickey for me, I wouldn't have asked if I had any other choice."

The older woman simply shook her head.

"It's okay. You're both welcome back any time. Come and say hi sometime."

Rose smiled and nodded even as she was pushing Mickey into the Tardis. With the other hand she quickly grabbed the other two bags of groceries, depositing them in the entrance and silently asking the Tardis to put them into the right cupboards.

To her amusement, she heard Mickey exclaim behind her, "I didn't know the Tardis ate food!"

Rose snorted lightly.

"Nah, she doesn't. Just asked her to pop those away for us so the Doctor doesn't notice."

Both Sarah Jane and Mickey stared at her, taken aback at her ability for mental communication with the ship.

"Gotta run," the blue ship had warned her that the Doctor was getting closer and they had very little time left.

With a quick wave, she shut the door and made her way over to the telepathic console, ignoring Mickey's queries and only vaguely aware of his abrupt silence the moment she accessed the vortex.

It didn't take long to propel the Tardis back into the Vortex but this time she could feel the blood rushing in her ears and feel the weakness in her limbs, the pain flaring up across her body as it was suddenly overwhelmed with the power. Her body was burning, burning, everything was on fire - and then suddenly so cold... She felt herself swaying, eyes open, lips moving, trying to warn Mickey, but no sound came out. Then, with one final gasp, the tremors took over and her body arched up to escape the pain that had now taken over her entire body. All other thoughts vanished as her nerve centres fired off and lights flashed in front of her eyes just moments before her body gave way and her mind withdrew to protect itself from the agony.

And with that everything faded to black and she was only vaguely aware of arms catching her in her descent before she could hit the floor.

Hi everyone,

I would love to hear what you think of my latest chapter - let me know J

Please review!

Thank you everyone!

And now to address the reviews from my last chapter:

Dreamcatcher49

Hiya, thanks for the lovely review. Yep, correct, canon will diverge and there may or may not be repercussions to separating our lovely ship and the wonderful Rose Tyler. And yeah, you're getting ahead of yourself but so am I! I'm super-excited for what's to come, so I'm glad you are too. I've got so many ideas and it's hard not to skip in the fanfiction to what I actually want to write next :) I hope I've semi-refrained from doing so. Hope you enjoyed this chapter and I would love to hear what you think of it.

BadWolf9653

Yay, thank you very much, BadWolf 9653. You'll be glad to know that this was the second chapter and, as of next week I may be unemployed so yay for you - much more time to write. I'm really glad you're enjoying it and I would love to hear from you again to see what you think of this latest chapter.

Toester

Yay, thank you very much. I'm glad to hear that this already ranks in one of the best you've read and I do hope you'll continue reading. Yeah, so did I, at least partly, but then he probably thought no time at all would pass for Rose. Silly boy. Anyway, I kinda feel for him because, well, he does have to watch everyone either die or leave him. But yeah, leaving Rose behind and just a day after he told her "Not to you" when she asked if he'd leave her behind - yeah, that wasn't a good move. Admittedly he didn't have many options, but still. Anyway, hence this fanfiction, I guess. Well, that and a multitude of other reasons, but sorry, off on a ramble. Let me know what you think of the latest chapter - I do hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for the review!

Caro

Thank you so very much for your review, Caro and for sharing all your thoughts and emotions. I'm glad I managed to make you smile and cry - that's what my main aim is - well, no, that sounded bad. I mean I do try to evoke emotions with my fanfic, so I'm glad you felt along with our heroine.

Nine, I think, is one of my favourites. Christopher Eccleston is fantastic! And yeah, course it would take multiple sessions. I'd imagine that sort of power doesn't just grant one instantaneous understanding; well, at least in my fic there isn't - the powers of an author.

I am so glad that I managed to convey the emotions well enough to turn you into a pile of sobbing goo (great description, just by the way). I just wanted to portray what I felt it would've been like after the adrenaline rush has left and the reality intrudes. And yeah, I think Nine loved her deeply while Ten loves her fiercely - different ways of loving, to me, which describe the shift between the two.

Anyway, thanks for the review. I'm glad you enjoyed it and I hope you'll let me know what you think of the latest one!

Magali

Hi Magali, thanks for your review. I'm glad you're enjoying the story. I realise Hughes Hefner has a rather sordid reputation, but he was once a cool guy - someone, with a mansion full of playboy bunnies and yet holding black and white movie nights with them and things like that. Now that he's an old man, I agree, it does somehow look rather dodgy.

To me, the reason the Doctor has mainly had female companions was due to their softer nature. Boys - like Mickey and Jack - will often be more gung-ho, more ben on destruction; which is also what the Doctor has done during the Time War, the one thing he doesn't want to be identified with. The Doctor. He wants to help people - never cruel or cowardly, never give up, never give in. And woman do have a higher tendency to forgive and forget, to remind him that killing isn't the solution, that he should give them a chance. Anyway, that's my interpretation on it.

I do hope you enjoyed the latest chapter - let me know your thoughts :) I'm aiming not to diverge too much from canon just yet.

J

Hiya - thanks for your review. You pointed out a rather big flaw; I forgot to check and hadn't imported the separators from my word document! So, if you re-read it now, it should be much, much easier hopefully. So no, it's not your English skills and thanks for pointing it out :) Hope you enjoy this latest chapter - I would love to hear your thoughts!