Not Quite Paradise

Written by xmystorytime.

Disclaimer: If I owned this animé/manga... I'd've had more funny scenes between Cross and Allen. Alas, I don't and therefore won't get my wish. Sadly.

[Steam] - Who knew that Komui would go so far as to cause the pipes to explode?

--

"You're all fucking retards!"

The loud shout, followed by lots more cursing, was the first thing he became aware of. The voice rang in his eyes, making him aware of the second thing - he had a killer headache. He moaned softly, not heard over the yelling, and tried to curl up into a ball, to make himself as small as possible. Something stopped him.

"I don't give a damn if it was a fucking accident! Open this fucking door right now or I'll fucking open it for you!"

He whimpered as the voice sent daggers through his head and opened his eyes, trying to find the source. Maybe if he could find the source, he could make it shut up. However, all that greeted him was a grey, murky white. He blinked and squinted, trying to figure out just what the hell it was.

"Komui! When I get out of here you're fucking dead!"

A loud thump accompanied the shout, followed by more cursing. Most of them were words he'd never heard of before, but as awareness was gradually coming back to him (however much he didn't want it to) he slowly realised that he recognised the voice. It only left him with questions - what was Kanda doing here, and why was he more pissed off than normal? Why was he screeching to Komui to get him out?

For that matter, what was he doing here? The last he remembered, he had been in the communal bathrooms getting ready for the day, not in this murky, too-hot room. His head spiked with more pain and he couldn't stop the small cry, hands going to clench at his head. In doing so he became aware that he was lying on his side, sprawled out over the floor. Gasping shakily for air, he didn't notice the cursing stop or the footsteps which approached until they came into his blurry vision.

"Beansprout?" Allen slowly tilted his head and squinted up at the figure, trying to focus his vision. The greyness and his own injuries made it hard.

"... Kanda?" he murmured, voice cracking. The blurry figure nodded and Allen shut his eyes, removing his hands from his ears. Slowly, he started to push himself up into a sitting position, but didn't get very far before a sharp pain tore down his leg. He yelped and turned to look, only to find his chin caught by Kanda's hands, forbidden to do so.

"Don't move, idiot, you're hurt." Allen blinked a few times as it sunk in and then he frowned.

"I thought that was obvious," he said, hating how raspy his voice sounded. "What happened?" Kanda let go of his chin and settled on the ground in front of him. Now that he was closer Allen could see him more clearly and the grimace told him everything he needed to know.

"Komui and his experiments," Kanda snarled, eyes flashing with anger. Allen pulled a face and then gasped silently as pain shot through his body again. He grit his teeth, refusing to cry out, and once more turned to look at the injury. Again, Kanda stopped him by catching hold of his chin. "Don't look. It's not pleasant." Allen could sense the seriousness in his words and he guessed that Kanda was telling the truth, but he wanted to see what was causing him so much pain.

"Where are we?" He reached up and batted away at the hands on his chin weakly. He'd got the message - don't look at the big bad injury.

"The communal bathrooms. Do you remember?" Allen slowly nodded. Now he thought about it, Kanda had been there with him as well. Why couldn't he remember that before? It was all in broken twists, bits and pieces that slowly came back once something triggered it. "I'm going to kill Komui." It was spoken with such truth.

"I'm sure he didn't mean for it to happen," he tried to defend their boss, but his voice wasn't in any state to defend someone. It cracked half way through and he licked his lips, feeling the moist air once again. "What's all around us?" For the first time he realised he was slightly damp.

"It's steam," Kanda snorted. "Several of the pipes burst; so far only steam's come out, but I doubt it'll stay that way for much longer." Allen's eyes widened.

"What do you mean?" he swallowed, heart pounding. He suspected he knew.

"If Komui doesn't fix this quickly, then I wouldn't be surprised if we started to be surrounded by water." Kanda said bluntly. Allen swallowed.

"And... why can't we get out?" he winced as his head kicked up a fuss and brought a hand to press it. He saw Kanda follow his movements, eyes dark. He tried to reassure the other he was fine but the words got stuck in his throat.

"The doors are blocked. I don't have Mugen." Kanda eventually said, reaching out to remove Allen's hand from his head. "That's the last time I go anywhere without it." he sounded so confident of that it made Allen snort, and then he cried out as pain shot through him. He clenched his fists tightly and squeezed his eyes shut. They snapped open again when he felt Kanda trace his hairline.

"What...?" Allen frowned and then winced as Kanda hit a sore spot. "That hurt! Don't do that!" he reached up and tugged Kanda's hand away, only to see his fingers speckles in red. He stared at the bloody hand for a moment and then exhaled, dropping his chin to his chest. "I guess that's why my head hurts."

"You must have been stood next to a pipe when it exploded. That's the only reason you're so beat up." Kanda snorted. "Weakling." Allen lifted his head up, annoyance mixing with pain, and glared at the other.

"It's not like I knew the pipe would explode!" he defended himself. "Not all of us have your stupid healing thing!"

"Che." Kanda glanced away, around the room again, and then looked back at Allen. He didn't smile but his eyes seemed to soften slightly. "Beansprout! I won't be gone long. I'm going to go and yell at Komui to hurry the fuck up." He stood as Allen nodded wearily and sighed, slowly slumping his shoulders and staring at the ground dully. The steam around him made it impossible to see further than a few feet and his chest tightened slightly when Kanda disappeared out of sight. Kanda had been injured, the blood staining him was proof. He'd probably already been healed, however, whereas Allen was not so lucky.

He made to stand and his leg sent spasms of pain through his body. He grit his teeth and waited out the pain, frozen, until it had dulled to an ache. There was nobody stopping him from looking, so he twisted his body in the least possible way and suddenly wanted to throw up. Something was coming out of his thigh, a large piece of metal. The area it had pierced was soaked red, but blood wasn't pouring out of his body. He guessed that if the metal was removed, that would probably be the result.

Well. No walking around for him anytime soon.

He looked away, sickened, but a morbid curiosity drew him back to the injury. Trying to agitate his injuries as little as possible, he reached out and slowly ran a finger down the metal piece. Kanda had said the pipe exploded. Had this once been part of the pipe?

Allen sighed and pulled back, turning his gaze up. Whether it had or not didn't matter. All that really mattered was that it was in his leg, and he wouldn't be able to move by himelf while it was in there.

"What do you mean it could take awhile?!" he flinched at Kanda's yell. "You bastard Komui! Just hurry the fuck up!" Obviously things hadn't gone well. Not that he was surprised. Footsteps echoed and with a snort Kanda settled himself in front of Allen again, anger radiating from him. "He said they were waiting for people to return with things from town. They didn't have everything they needed to do it right - if only I could reach Mugen..." his fingers clenched and unclenched. Allen reached out and patted his arm, wincing as the action gave him new pain.

"They'll get us out," he weakly reassured Kanda. The sword master just snorted, obviously not reassured, and Allen saw his eyes wander briefly to his leg before snapping back to Allen. Not sure what else he could say, he pulled back and sighed, wishing there was support behind him so he could lean on it.

He wanted to shut his eyes and sleep, now that he knew what had happened. He wanted to pretend it was all just one big, horrible dream and the next time he woke, he'd be asleep in one of his cereal bowls. It would be morning, of course, early because if it wasn't then he wouldn't have fallen asleep. When he woke, his face a mess from the meal, Lavi would be sat opposite laughing at him. Bookman would be watching impassively, but with the air of one who was highly amused.

Lenalee would be sat next to him and she would smile before helping him clean up. He would thank her, highly embarrassed, and then Kanda would walk along and make some snide comment as he settled next to Allen on the seat. This would only make Lavi laugh harder and Allen would elbow his boyfriend before glowering at everyone around him and standing. He imagined he would make a dramatic exit, one that left everyone in awe.

He opened eyes he didn't know he'd shut. The steam was still around him, the pain was still with him and Kanda was still sat in front of him, watching silently. Allen licked his lips again, a habit more than anything else. He knew the look Kanda had on him now, it meant he was about to ask something he'd been thinking about. Usually this lead to Allen telling him things he didn't want him to know. On good days Allen could put up a struggle but he suspected that right now he wouldn't be able to hold of Kanda's interrogation.

"Why were you over there?"

That wasn't what Allen had been expecting. He blinked and tilted his head, frowning.

"I don't get it."

"Why the fuck were you over there beansprout?" Kanda snapped, causing a new stab of pain. His eyes narrowed as he lent forward and ignored Allen's protest to the nickname, searching for something. "You walked over there for no reason. There was nothing save a mirror and all you did was stare at it." Allen stared at Kanda, perplexed. He didn't have a clue what the other was talking about.

He didn't remember that.

"I don't know what you're on about." Allen shook his head, trying frantically to remember. His memory was blotted, it was true, and why would Kanda lie? He just didn't remember it and if he couldn't remember that then it meant he couldn't give Kanda an answer. Kanda wouldn't be happy.

"Liar," Kanda spat. "It's not the first time you've done it. I've seen you, beansprout, freezing in front of your reflection or lost in thought." Allen's eyes widened. He knew what Kanda meant now, even if he couldn't remember doing so just then. He glanced away from Kanda, refusing to meet his eyes. He stared resolutely at the ground and then cried out, surprised and slightly pained, as Kanda forced him to look back at him.

"I'm sick of you dodging the question. What the fuck is wrong with you?" Allen stared into Kanda's eyes, mute, and saw himself reflected back. It then changed, into the grinning figure of the fourteenth, and Allen's eyes widened. He snapped his eyes shut, trying to block out the sudden tune that wove throughout his mind. Not now, not now! "Beansprout? Beansprout!"

Kanda called him but Allen couldn't respond, paralysed by the 14th's appearance.

Then chapped lips pressed against his and broke the spell. For a second the world shattered into little pieces, but when Allen's eyes snapped open all he could see was Kanda's pale skin and curled eyelashes. The other slowly pulled back, eyes opening and they stared at each other. Allen could feel Kanda's breath mingling with his own and his cheeks turned a pale pink with embarrassment, but he didn't look away.

"Kanda..." he whispered, slowly leaning forward and pressing his forehead against the other's. He shut his eyes, shoulders slumping. "I can't say..."

"Why?"

"I..." Allen swallowed, opening his eyes. He didn't want to burden the other with his problems, didn't want to tell him because it would mean admitting to the monster inside of him. It would mean that the Noah had power over him and he would give anything to stop that. "If I told you, it would win."

"It?" Kanda scowled, eyes flashing. "Damn it beansprout, talk to me!" Allen pulled back and glanced away, only to cry out. His leg muscle twitched and for an instant his vision blackened, pain blocking everything else out. After what felt like eternity it came back, and he became aware of Kanda's arms around his shoulders. He could feel Kanda's heartbeat by his ears and he swallowed, trying to stop his body from its uncontrollable shaking.

They were both silent as the moment slowly passed. When the pain had dulled Allen pulled back, refusing to look at Kanda. He felt too ashamed, he could feel the tension the other had, the anger because Allen was hiding something...

A faint gurgling ruined whatever might have happened next. As one they turned to look to the far side of the room, dread settling in Allen's chest. They couldn't see anything through the steam but they could hear perfectly fine, and what they heard didn't sound good at all. Kanda swore loudly, unwrapping his arms from Allen and jumping to his feet. Within seconds he'd disappeared, and then the sound of him punching metal was heard.

"Komui!" Kanda's voice was the only one Allen could hear. If he strained, he could just about make out another, but it was more of a whisper rather than anything. The gurgling soon increased and then he couldn't hear anything other than Kanda. "We don't have a couple of minutes bastard! Get this door open!"

Footsteps padded back across the room. Allen stared up at Kanda's grim face, trying to figure out what they could do. He couldn't be moved, that much was obvious. His leg was useless. But then, he'd been in worse pain and had still moved.

"Kanda, I'm going to use my Innocence," he said, realising it was the only way. If nothing else, it could help him move around and avoid the boiling water for as long as possible. Kanda narrowed his eyes but then nodded once. Obviously he saw no other way either. Allen inhaled, trying to prepare himself. It would hurt, but it could be done. "Innocence, activate!" He shut his eyes as the familiar comfort circled around him and settled on his shoulders.

At his lowest points, he considered the weight of his Innocence like the weight of the world. At most times, however, Crown Clown was his only reassurance in this screwed up world of demons, Noah and God's puppets.

Not needing to be told, white threads spun out and wrapped around his legs, criss-crossing back and forth. They avoided the spiked metal with ease and Allen inhaled sharply as they tightened down on the area around it. He watched, paling as blood started to seep out, the pressure increased by the tightness around the area. The metal slid a bit as well and he wanted to throw up.

It was only because of Kanda's grip on his elbow he didn't.

He turned and took hold of Kanda's hand. In one swift movement he was pulled up and he stumbled against the other as his vision dimmed once more. Kanda held him close and Allen knew he was waiting for the okay. Body shaking, Allen managed a tiny nod and slowly pulled back, blinking back tears. Damn it he'd experienced worse pain, but there was something so mind-numbing about this pain that it stole his breath. He glanced down and wished he hadn't.

The metal hadn't just pierced his leg, it had gone straight through. He could just make out the entrance and exit on either side of his thigh. He glanced to Kanda who also looked pale and pained; obviously he hadn't realised either.

But there was no time to worry. They had to move - the gurgling was almost deafening now. Unfortunately, the steam around them hid where it would come out and he heard Kanda snapping some sort of curse behind him, trying to come up with a plan. One came to Allen in a flash and he turned on the spot, peering up at Kanda.

"We have to find higher ground."

"No fucking way," Kanda snapped back instantly, glaring down at him. "You can't get up there-" he raised his voice to drown out Allen's protest. "- and we can't even see where anything is! Think next time idiot!"

"I was thinking!" Allen glared back. "I don't see you coming up with anything better!"

"I was going to!"

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

"Che." Kanda glanced away. Allen huffed.

"Exactly! We have to avoid the water for as long as possible. It shouldn't be too long before Komui comes, right? We'll have to hold out until then."

"It's not a battle beansprout!" Kanda snapped. "We can't fight water!"

Their argument ended there. At that point there was a loud CRACK and water poured into the room. Visibility decreased instantly and soon Allen couldn't even see his hand in front of his face, the steam was so thick. He reached out and gripped Kanda, the only thing he could feel, and winced as scalding water circled their feet. They'd wasted too much time - they had to go now before it was too late.

The soles of his feet were already feeling far too hot for his liking. Kanda could protest all he wanted - they were going to higher ground. Taking a deep breath Allen made sure he had tight hold of Kanda.

"Crown Belt!" His white threads snapped out, searching through the mist for something high up to hold onto. One eventually found something and, breathing a sigh of relief as the water reached his ankles, Allen jumped and let himself be reeled back. Kanda was yelling something in his ear, death threats, but at that point Allen didn't care. Then they jerked to a halt, high up in the ceiling, and everything was still.

"... I'm going to fucking kill you." Kanda spat, arms wrapped tightly around Allen's waist. A few threads of Crown Belt secured him in place, so that even if he let go he wouldn't fall. Allen looked down, smiling weakly at the other. His body was killing him and it was hard to breath, but he didn't need to respond. "And I mean it too. You didn't fucking warn me. You're dead the instant we get out of here."

"Whatever," Allen said lazily, casually dismissing the other's death threat. Kanda degraded back to curses, mumbling to himself, and Allen shut his eyes. They had a few minutes, if that, before the water caught up with them. It hadn't taken long to go from ground to his ankles, and if it continued at that speed... "Stop complaining. Komui only needed a few minutes, right? We just gave him them."

"I fucking hate relying on that bastard," Kanda spat. "It's his damn fault we're in this mess!"

"So let him be the one to get us out." Allen said soothingly. "You know he'll only feel bad afterwards if he doesn't. He'll cry on and on and on-" he was interrupted.

"I don't give two shits! When I next see him, the idiot's going to-" Allen never did find out what Komui was going to do.

A loud explosion shook the room, halting Kanda's rant. Allen inhaled and then coughed, pain ripping through his chest, and waved a hand in front of his face to try and clear the smoke that now choked him. He squinted as the white steam changed to a murky brown colour, before dissipating altogether. Likewise, the gurgling sound all around them suddenly decreased, making everything seem quieter than normal.

Then the screams started and any relief Allen felt evaporated. The scientists outside had just encountered the boiling water. Shit.

"We have to stop the valve!" Allen said, turning wide eyes to Kanda. "Everyone's just going to get hurt otherwise!"

"How the fuck are we going to do that?!" Kanda demanded. They both twisted, searching for the source of the water burst. Now the steam had spread out it was much easier and Allen swallowed, realising the devastation for the first time. The dark red blood stains also caught his attention, scattered around the room in places he himself had never been. He didn't let himself dwell on the fact that Kanda had been hurt pretty bad. He was fine right now, and the others took priority. They had to help everyone else.

"There!" Allen finally spotted the hole in the wall. The pipe was gushing water.

"Beansprout, stay there." Kanda let go of Allen, obviously intending to go down... and when he didn't move he snapped furious eyes to Allen. "Get rid of these damn things!" Trusting him, Allen didn't unwind his threads but he did lower Kanda down to the ground. The instant the exorcist was free he was zipping all over the room, reminding Allen just why the teenager was considered the fastest exorcist.

Without using his Innocence, anyway.

In a few brief moments he was stood in front of the boiling water and shoving something into it - a piece of clothing? Toilet roll? Whatever it was, it seemed to do the job. The water slowly went to a trickle and then eventually stopped altogether. A quick fix, but it would give the scientists time to fix the whole system. Allen lowered himself to the ground as Kanda pulled back, looking a little tired. His hands were a bright sizzling red, but as Allen watched the burns slowly healed until there was no remains at all.

"I think I love that ability," he murmured. Kanda glanced at him and slowly shook his head, a smirk on his face.

"You're not the only one," he said and then walked forward. He pulled Allen's arm over his shoulder and Allen yelped, pulling away. Kanda held on stubbornly. "Idiot, come on! You need to get to the hospital wing!"

"Not until I know everyone's okay!" Allen said, tugging out of the other's grip. He took one step across the room and fell, only for Kanda to catch him. The other exhaled, exasperated.

"You're so much fucking trouble, you know that?"

But despite his protesting he still helped Allen hobble across the room. As they passed by what remained of the door, it became obvious that the scientists had just resorted to exploding the whole thing. Crude, but effective. It had cleared the way, anyway. Allen swallowed, remembering the screams of pain and praying with all his heart the scientists were alright.

His foot kicked something metal. He tensed, inhaling and exhaling several times, and then looked. He blinked.

"... I found your sword." he murmured. Kanda peered over him and his entire frame tensed in excitement. He bent down and picked up the wet weapon, letting go of Allen briefly so he could lovingly run a finger along the whole thing.

"I'm never letting you leave my sight," he murmured to it, casting a dark glance to the rest of the room. Allen rolled his eyes and continued the rest of the way into the hallway, using the wall as support. The water lapped at his feet, already cooling, and to his relief he saw everyone standing. Many had different splotches of pink all over their skin and several held themselves painfully, but other than that they looked fine.

"I'm so glad you're alright!" he said, attracting their attention as he forget his own injuries and stepped forward. Crying out as his leg gave way, he would've fallen had someone not caught him. This time, the arms weren't muscular. Instead they were thin and he followed them until he found the owner. Lenalee smiled weakly at him, eyes constantly flickering to his leg, and pulled him back onto his feet.

"You'll be fine Allen," she said, as hospital staff closed in. Behind them Allen saw Lavi's head bobbing up and down, trying to see past the crowds of people. "You'll be fine."

"Of course he will," Kanda said, popping up from nowhere with a snort. "He's too annoying to die."

And as he let himself faint, Allen wished he'd had enough strength to flip the finger to the other.

Asshole.

A/N: Whaddya think? I'd say what inspired this... but I don't know what that is. Ohnowait! I was reading Stargate: Atlantis fiction last night, and in all of them Rodney got a huge ass-whumping, and I wanted Allen to get a similar one. With a healthy dose of Yullen. In case you didn't guess, this was another 'established relationship' story. Heh.