A/N: Past me is a liar. I think two chapters ago I said there would only be two more chapters and here we are… NOT at the end of the story. This chapter just kept growing and growing and growing and I finally had to cut it off once it hit 8,000 words. So now I'm going to say that there are only two more parts…. There really should be only one, but the way this is going it's probably going to be split again. I am sorry about lying to you all about the length of this story. It took me by surprise too.

To the one guest who reviewed the last chapter: M&M? I like that. I hope I can answer your question and clear some things up in this chapter. Thank you for your review.

Cena: Thank you for your reviews! I'm glad your standards weren't too high at first! Ha. This is my first FMA story and I was so nervous, but I think I'm improving the more I write. I hope I can continue to intrigue you. Thank you again for your reviews, they made my day!

Also, Edward has been called a butthole and a dumbass by reviewers…. Yes… he doesn't always make the best choices, does he?

Lonely People

"Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets."

-Paul Tournier

Edward had known that the next time he woke up he would be in the hospital again. He didn't even really care, he just let it all slip away from him, surrendering to the throbbing in his skull and the exhaustion that swept over him.

He had started to wake up a number of times, but he kept dritfing back to unconsciousness. He heard them talking about him. He heard the Doctor and nurses assessing him and the bastard Colonel asking questions. He heard Alphonse speaking worriedly over him and he heard Lieutenant Colonel Hughes speaking in a tone he hadn't heard from him before… he sounded so… remorseful.

Edward's gut twisted upon hearing that tone, his own guilt bubbling up to the surface. He must have made a noise in his light sleep, because the voices stopped talking and a familiar gauntlet hand rested gently on his brow.

"It's alright, brother. Go back to sleep." Alphonse, sounding so calm and reassuring… He didn't deserve that kindness, but he found that he still craved it. Selfishly, he listened to his younger brother and let himself fall back into a deeper sleep.

The next time he awoke, it was because the absence of noise in the room had bothered him. The only sound he could hear was the soft rustling of papers and Ed had no idea who was with him. It didn't feel like Al was in the room. He slowly opened his eyes and stared blankly at the dull, white ceiling, before carefully turning his head to see Maes Hughes sitting diligently by his bed side with a stack of paperwork in his lap. He was going through documents, shifting them slowly, trying to be as quiet as possible.

Ed meant to say the man's name, but all that came out was a breath of air. Startled by the gasping sound, Hughes looked up and raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Ed," he spoke in a whispered tone, as if speaking loudly would startle Edward back into unconsciousness. The man then went for a cup of water at the bedside and carefully helped Ed lean forward enough to take a few tiny sips.

"They had a hell of a time putting in your IV," Hughes said conversationally in the same quiet tone. Finished drinking the bit of water, the boy looked at his left arm, but quickly looked away. It was a mess of bandages and he really didn't need to think about the needle inserted in the top of his hand. It was then that Ed noticed he wasn't wearing the terrible hospital issued shirt. His chest and abdomen were wrapped in bandages and the shirt had been forgone so that the medical staff could have easier access to his injuries. A thin, hospital blanket hid his feet from view, but he began to feel some pain throbbing from his right foot.

He suddenly remembered something important that he had forgotten. Both of his arms felt so heavy, but he managed to move his flesh arm enough to weakly claw at the wrappings around his chest. The pain over his heart made itself known, but Ed pushed it to the side and caught the edge of one of the bandages and began to pull.

"Whoa, easy. What are you doing?" Hughes moved to stop him, but seemed hesitant to touch him, as if he was afraid he might accidentally hurt him.

"A-Adalbert," Ed rasped. It was important, but Hughes didn't understand. The man furrowed his brow at him and tilted his head to one side.

"Did you find her?" Ed tugged at the bandage's edge. "It's a... It's a map."

"What do you mean? Edward, stop." Hughes very gently tapped the boy's fingers. "You're going to hurt yourself."

"He told me she was sleeping. I know she's dead, but you could still find her… for her family…"

"Edward, enough. Take a breath," Hughes leaned back in his chair again and picked up his stack of documents he had put to the side. "I have seen the cuts. I don't need to see them again." He didn't want to think about it. It made him want to be sick. If it was a map, it was very crudely done and it wouldn't do any good to peel back the bandages and see the stitched mess that was Edward's chest and stomach. He needed to put that information aside. His mind would go over it later, when he was alone and it didn't matter that the idea was going to break his heart. "Don't worry about that right now."

Thankfully, Ed stopped his tugging and let his arm fall to his side again.

"Where's Al?" Ed asked. "He was here." But now that Ed said it, he thought that maybe he was dreaming before. Maybe his brother hadn't been sitting with him at all. Maybe Alphonse was angry with him for lying and running off on his own.

"Colonel Mustang has taken him to the library. They are picking up some books for you both to ease your boredom while you stay here."

There was something odd about the Colonel taking Alphonse to visit the library. It just sounded so…normal. Like something a family would do on a Saturday afternoon.

"Really?" Ed found himself asking. Maes grinned slightly.

"I thought it would be good for both of them to go for a walk. I know Alphonse doesn't want to leave your side for long, but Colonel Mustang needed the air. You've only been out of it for a day, but the Colonel hasn't left your side. He slept in this chair overnight and he's been very irritable."

"I ruined another one of his jackets didn't I? He must be pissed," Ed let his eyes fall shut. Everything felt so damn heavy, like his body was being weighted down.

"He is mad, but not about the jacket. I know he doesn't care about that." Hughes leaned forward and Ed opened his eyes again, wary over the closer proximity. "But sometimes you scare him, Ed. That's why he gets so angry, because you scare the shit out of him with the things you do and when he can't protect you no matter how much he tries."

Ed made a nearly indiscernible noise in his throat. "Not his fault," he finally mumbled and he shifted uncomfortably, there was really quite a bit of pain now. The muscles and skin around his arm port felt like they kept spasming and Ed wondered just how bad the damage was.

"Oh Ed, if you think he wouldn't see it that way if something happened to you, then you really don't know him well at all."

Ed swallowed thickly. He didn't have a response for that and if he wasn't careful, he was going to end up crying again.

"I do need to ask you something, Ed." Hughes interrupted Ed's silent musings and he wondered how long he had been staring into space, dwelling on his thoughts. "And I don't want to upset you, but I want to ask before Roy and Alphonse get back."

Ed looked at Hughes and studied him for a moment. He gave a slight nod to indicate he was listening. Maes' eyes softened considerably at this.

"Edward… why didn't you tell anyone about Kaleb Barringer?"

Edward just blinked for a moment, as if this situation wasn't one of his most recent nightmares. But Hughes didn't look mad. He looked so… worried. There was a deep sadness there. A sadness that was just for Ed…

"How…?" Edward managed to choke out, but he couldn't find the rest of the sentence. Hughes slipped something from his stack of papers and held up a slim envelope. On the front of it, in red writing, was the word 'Risembool.'

"It arrived yesterday. Notes on a case over seven years old about a boy found in a creek. Roy thought you knew a recent victim or had seen something happen in Central. But you saw something back then... You knew about him. Warren Pace. That's why you went after him yourself. That's right, isn't it?"

Ed stared for a moment. He felt a lie start to form on his tongue, but he pushed it back. He couldn't lie anymore. He couldn't focus enough with this pounding headache to even think of something that sounded reasonable. Then suddenly he felt like he was back in that dark shack again, with a gag pulling at the corners of his mouth and he couldn't get in enough air around the damn thing.

"Edward, you're all right. Try to calm down." Hughes sounded worried. The boy had gone pale and his breathing was becoming rather forced.

"It's my fault." Edward tightened his fist in his sheet and released it again with a spasm.

"What do you mean?"

"It's my fault." Ed didn't know what he was doing then, but he was reaching for the envelope suddenly. He didn't intend on taking it, but he wanted it to be put away. Evidence of one of his biggest regrets was just staring him in the face and he couldn't bear to look at it anymore. Hughes shifted the envelope out of his line of sight and shook his head.

"What is your fault?"

"I saved myself and Al, but I didn't bother… and I hated him so much, but I didn't mean it. I knew it wasn't safe, but I didn't stop him. I didn't even think. I hated him. I hated him." Tears began to form in the boy's eyes and he tightly shut them in an effort to stop the tears from falling.

"Calm down. Breathe. Please, breathe." Maes set all of his paperwork on the floor and leaned forward in his chair. His hands hovered over Edward, but he didn't know what to do. It made no sense to set a hand on his automail, where Ed couldn't feel it, and he couldn't find a place that wasn't covered in bandages. Hughes settled on very gently brushing the boy's golden hair away from his forehead. It wasn't long enough anymore to tie back and one side was nearly shorn off in patches. The unevenness of it looked terrible and Maes tried not to dwell on how much it looked like so many of the deceased victims'.

"Ed, I can't believe it was your fault. You were… what? Seven?"

"It doesn't matter. I was too stupid and scared and they couldn't find him and I was sick and hid it from them all." And now Edward was really starting to cry. "I-I might as well have killed him myself. It was my fault! And it's my fault he was here too! He said he looked for me. He was looking for me! They all died because of me!" Edward had started to curl up, but the pain and bandages stopped him and he fell back against the mattress roughly.

"All right. Edward, take another breath." Hughes moved in closer, lightly resting one arm across the boy's chest, trying to dissuade him from moving and further injuring himself. It was similar to the way he had first shielded the boy when they found him in that horrible shack in the woods and Maes' chest tightened over the thought. "I don't know what happened all those years ago, but I do know it's definitely not your fault. It wasn't your fault back then and it's not your fault now. Understand? You were a child." You are a child. "You did not kill this boy or any of them."

"I ha-hated him."

"Still not your fault."

"You don't know what even happened…"

"I'm here. Ed, I'm right here," Maes whispered desperately. "You can tell me what happened and I promise you that I will still believe it's not your fault."

There was a moment of silence while Ed took a few gulping breaths. Hughes removed his arm from around the boy and sat back in his chair, while he waited for him to compose himself.

"You might change your mind," Ed finally rasped.

"I won't," Maes said with a shake of his head.

Ed wanted to believe him so badly; maybe he was just dumb enough to trust someone for just a little while… He could trust this man who was too kind for his own good, even if they were going to both regret it later.

Edward took a deep breath and started at the beginning…

At the end of Edward's story Hughes didn't say anything. He simply sat there with his fingers steepled near his mouth. Edward had told him everything he remembered, right down to the childish bet over crayfish.

Ed shifted in the silence, his whole body was starting to twinge with all of his aches. While his feet were still hidden from his view he could feel that his flesh toes were wrapped together and Edward assumed they must have been broken under Warren's boot when he stomped on them. The memory that then bubbled up made Ed's stomach turn.

"I think you should tell Al about it." Maes said, interrupting Edward's dark thoughts.

"Why?" Edward grimaced at the idea.

"Because he is your brother and he knows you've been lying to him. He knew something was wrong, he was just waiting for you to tell him… and he feels guilty for not pressing the matter and keeping you from going off on your own like you did."

"He's not to blame for what happened."

"Neither are you, Edward. You are not to blame for any of it. Warren Pace is the one to blame. He's the only guilty one here."

"I killed him." Edward said it as if he had just realized it at that moment.

"…Yes." Hughes was thrown off by the abrupt shift in subjects, but he figured it would come up eventually. He knew the boy had never been forced to take a life and Hughes hoped with all his heart that it wouldn't be something that would break the young alchemist.

"I didn't even mean to." Edward sounded so detached, as if his mind still hadn't processed what had happened.

"Trust me. We could tell it was self-defense. You have no reason to feel guilt over that either. Do you understand me?" And now Hughes was leaning closer again, forcing Ed to look at him.

"Yes." Edward shut his eyes and Maes wondered if he would start crying again.

"Believe me?"

"I… want to." Edward opened his eyes again and stared resolutely past Hughes at the ceiling above him. "Are you going to tell the Colonel?"

"About… what happened when you were a child? Yes. I think he should know."

"I don't want him to think… I don't want him to know about it. He'll blame me for stalling the investigation and… and…"

"And he will understand. Eventually. He won't blame you."

Edward let out a long sigh, he felt so tired. He wanted to just fall back to sleep again…

The door swung open then and a very large suit of armor dropped his books when he saw his brother's eyes staring at him.

"Brother! You're awake!"

"Hey, Al." Ed tried to sound stronger than he felt, but it didn't really work.

"You had me so worried!" Al bounded over to the bed "Are you in pain? I'm sorry they couldn't give you a lot of pain medicine. They said it's not safe with your head injury."

"I'm alright, Al. Just very sore."

"Are you hungry? They will probably bring you lunch soon. Oh! Did you tell the Doctor you're awake?"

"I haven't been awake that long…"

"I will let them know," A voice sounded from the doorway. Roy had been watching from afar and he seemed content to not step another foot in the room. Edward peered around Al and caught the Colonel's eye briefly. Before he could say anything, Mustang turned on his heel and left.

"Well Ed, I should be going now. I have my own work to get back to." Hughes stood up, stretching his stiff back. "I will stop by tomorrow to visit." He studied the boy for a moment, before smiling lightly. "You'll be all right?"

"Yes… thank you."

"Remember what I said and try to get some rest. I will see you later." Hughes waved to the both of them before picking up the rest of his paperwork and heading out the door.

In the hallway, Maes found Roy glaring at the floor. He began casually walking towards the exit and Mustang fell into step beside him.

"You talk to the Doctor?" Hughes asked nonchalantly.

"I spoke to a nurse, someone will go in to see him in a moment." Roy spoke in a clipped tone as if was too irritated to have an actual conversation.

"Are you going to ever speak to Ed directly again?"

"When I'm not so angry."

"Right, well I'm going to drop these off and then I'm going to go pick up a bottle of liquor and bring it to your office and then we are going to get very drunk."

Roy cast a furtive glance at his friend to see if he was being serious. He was. Roy mulled the idea over for about half a second.

"Don't bother bringing anything. I have my own supply in my desk."

"Of course you do."

Mustang had been oddly silent while Maes had explained Edward's story about the Barringer boy. After he had finished the account, Roy shook his head.

"He really is an idiot. He should have told me… or you… or anyone. That self-condemnation trait is going to get him killed."

"And if he had died…"

"What?"

"It wouldn't have been your fault either."

Roy crossed his arms in annoyance. "Hughes, if you are about to give me a damn lecture that points out that I'm a hypocrite, I'm going to go home. Also, I know you. You would have been far from fine if Fullmetal had gotten himself killed. You were blaming yourself the entire time they were stitching him up."

"I wasn't going to say that you're a hypocrite, you pretentious ass. I was just going to say that the two of you are more alike than you think. And I know myself, Roy. I don't want to think about what would have happened if he had died."

Roy frowned at that and took a long drink from his glass. As he began to pour himself more, he just shook his head again. Without another word, they had both started drinking steadily. Usually this sort of thing would have been frowned upon while they were both at work, but it had been a terrible week. Colonel Mustang had sent his subordinates home early. He claimed they had done enough in recent events and had earned a little time off. Hughes was taking the rest of the afternoon off for "personal" reasons. He had already finished all the paperwork he could while still waiting on the autopsy report of Warren Pace. There wasn't a problem with him taking one afternoon off. Soon he would be up to his ears in paperwork again, but for the moment he could take some time to regroup.

So it was in the spirit of regrouping that soon found Maes stretched out on Mustang's office couch, feeling the effects of too much alcohol in too short a period of time. Roy seemed to be worse off though. He had knocked an empty glass off the coffee table at some point and when he went to retrieve it, the Colonel ended up slipping to the floor in a boneless heap. He then sort of stretched out and stared at the ceiling for a long time, not bothering to get up again.

"Damn, I just remembered I didn't tell you about the map on his chest," Hughes suddenly muttered while rubbing at his eyes behind his glasses.

"Hmmm… what chest? What are you talking about?" Roy asked sounding a bit dazed.

"If I tell you now, I might be sick on your carpet. Remind me later."

"Not going to remember later…"

Maes glanced over to Roy, but couldn't see him behind the low table. He gingerly rolled himself off the couch and maneuvered his way around the table before plopping down on the floor beside his friend. Roy had his eyes closed and looked like he might be drifting off to sleep. Hughes stretched out flat on his back with a sigh. "You need a new couch, that one makes the room spin around."

Roy hummed in response, but didn't say anything. There was a long moment of silence and Hughes could feel himself starting to feel sleepy. He could just close his eyes for a minute…

"How do you stand it?" Roy asked out of the blue, startling the other man fully awake.

"What?" Maes turned his head to look at his friend, but Roy still had his eyes shut as if he was sleeping. He was about to let it go when Roy spoke again.

"Having kids." Roy made a purposeless motion in the air with one hand.

"I only have one kid, first of all." Hughes turned back to look at the ceiling.

"He's not even mine and he's… he's impossible. Tell him not to run in the hallway and he puts his arm through a door… Tell him to stay and he just takes off on a suicide mission." Mustang had opened his eyes at this point, but they were a bit glazed over. Hughes shifted, trying to find a more comfortable spot on the carpet.

"Well, the thing about children, Roy… the thing is… the thing is… one way or another… they will break your heart at some point… sometimes it's when they are younger and they do dumb things, sometimes it's when something happens to them that you can't control and sometimes it's… it's both things at once."

"Why the hell would anyone choose to be a parent then?"

"Well, no, the thing is… Roy, the thing is… it's a privilege."

"A privilege?" Roy gave a small snort of disbelief.

"Yes! It's a privilege. It's a terrifying honor to have to take care of someone else, to have someone rely on you. It's… like a burden. But it's borne with… joy." Maes had stretched out his arms and let them both fall outwards. He ended up accidentally smacking Roy in the face with one hand and he grunted an apology, but then he let his hand slide into Roy's hair and kept it there, resting atop his friend's head.

"I think it feels like slamming your head against a wall," Roy muttered.

Maes gently patted Roy's head. "It can feel like that too. Honestly, if you really want to know, find yourself a wife and settle down."

Roy let out a groan and took a halfhearted swipe at Maes' hand. Hughes shifted his arm away from his friend's mussed up hair and grinned suddenly.

"You and Alphonse have a fun trip to the library?" He inquired with a grin.

"…Yes. He's not much like Fullmetal. He's not…loud."

"I think he can be, if he needs to be."

"Hell… I can't imagine what it was like to raise them as kids. That sounds awful."

Hughes actually laughed, "I doubt she thought it was."

Both men went quiet as they thought about Trisha Elric. They both knew of the tragedy of her death, but they weren't familiar with the precise details surrounding it. Roy preferred it that way, but he had a respect for the woman who managed to raise Edward safely through his young childhood. Roy wouldn't have been able to manage it. Current events proved that.

There was a sudden knock at the door and neither man reacted to it, they both just blinked up at the ceiling in confusion. The door creaked open to reveal Havoc with an unlit cigarette hanging from his mouth. He seemed startled at first to find them both on the floor, but soon was grinning broadly.

"Told you to go home," Roy motioned dismissively from his undignified position on the plush carpet.

"Well, I did leave, but Lieutenant Hawkeye told me I should come back soon to pick you two up. She said you'd overdo it and you'd need the ride home."

"She really does know everything," Hughes mused aloud.

"Yes, she does," Roy agreed.

When Mustang received a call early the next morning that informed him that Edward Elric had been causing issues at the hospital, he was not actually surprised. He was hungover and irritated, but not surprised. However, he was startled to learn that the drama was over a haircut. He had been planning to let Edward have it, to tell him to stop being so damn difficult for the nurses and allow one of them to cut his hair so he could look more normal and stop looking like… well…stop looking like one of the victims.

When he opened the door to Edward's room he was ready to shout, but the reprimand quickly died in his throat when he saw blood on the floor. He glanced around the room, but only saw the hulking suit of armor in the far corner, facing away from the door. Ed was nowhere to be seen. Al turned to look to see who had come in and looked as relieved as he could possibly look. He then turned back and spoke quietly to his brother, who Roy realized was wedged in the corner, hidden behind Alphonse.

Roy took a few cautious steps into the room, trying to look unimposing. Whatever had happened hadn't been good.

"Did he rip out his stitches?" Roy had asked as he eyed the drops of blood staining the floor. It made sense; the boy had so many stitches, that any rough movement could cause them to be torn out.

"No, no. Brother took out his IV line," Al explained, turning back around to face the Colonel.

Yes, the IV pole was tipped on its side, next to a chair that was toppled over in the middle of the room. Roy narrowed his eyes, scrutinizing these details, but he softened his expression when he spotted a pair of golden eyes peering out from behind Al's armor. He walked slowly, until he could see Edward properly. The boy was sitting on the cold tile, squeezed into the corner, with both legs stretched out in front of him. The hospital had finally issued him a standard shirt and Roy was glad he couldn't see his chest and stomach swathed with bandages. Ed looked like he wanted to curl his knees to his chest, but couldn't do it, due to pain and his automail malfunctioning.

Ed glared at Colonel Mustang, but he failed to look intimidating at all. Roy glanced at his broken toes, glad to see that the wrappings there hadn't come undone. He cautiously knelt down a few feet away from Edward.

"You want to tell me what happened?" Roy tried to keep his voice neutral, but it still carried an annoyed tone. When Ed looked away without answering, Al intervened.

"Brother… didn't like the chair," he explained delicately.

"The chair?" Roy cast the offending object a quick glance.

"It wasn't the damn chair," Ed grumbled and he actually looked embarrassed over the whole thing.

"You said it was the chair when you kicked it," Alphonse said in exasperation.

"That's not what I meant!" Ed suddenly shouted, but quickly grew quiet as if surprised by the loudness of his own voice.

"Ed…" Al trailed off.

"I don't want to talk about it!" Ed made a movement with one arm as if he meant to push himself off the floor, but he made no progress.

"You almost hit that nice nurse though."

"It was an accident!" Ed flailed his left arm, but the movement seemed to cause him pain and he stopped abruptly. Roy was reaching the end of his patience. Burden borne with joy indeed.

"Enough! Fullmetal, if you keep acting out, the hospital will restrain you to the bed, do you want that?"

Edward's eyes widened a bit and he gave a quick shake of his head. Restraints? No, they couldn't do that to him. He would really lose it if they tried to.

"They wouldn't do that. Would they?" Ed's voice betrayed the amount of cold fear he felt blossoming in his chest.

"If you act violently, they will."

Edward's cheek twitched at the thought. He shifted his position on the floor, but could still not get any leverage to push himself up. Al began to reach out his hands to assist him, but Ed shook his head, the longer strands of hair falling forward in front of his eye. Edward's body seemed to give a shudder and he leaned forward, resting his forehead on Al's metal chest plate.

It had begun to creep in at the edges of Mustang's mind that the Fullmetal Alchemist was really not well and he wouldn't be for quite a long time.

"Was it the chair?" Roy asked.

"No!" Ed spat, but the vehemence was lost as he was currently still pressing his face into his younger brother's chest.

"The scissors? The IV?"

"No!"

"What then?" Roy demanded. Ed pulled away from his brother and glared harshly at Mustang.

"It was all of it, alright? All of it. I can't sit in the damn chair and I can't have someone standing behind me where I can't see them and I can't have someone I don't know cutting my hair again!"

There was a moment of silence while Roy let his words sink in. He hadn't taken Edward's statement on the incident yet. He had been waiting. Waiting for Fullmetal to feel up to the task, waiting for him to heal more… waiting for his own weakness to diminish so he could hear Edward's side without feeling that horrible twisting in his own gut.

"It's the sound… the sound of it by my ear," Edward continued, his expression taking on a glossy eyed look. "And he cut my ear and I couldn't do anything about it before." That was true, the top of Ed's ear had a small slice in it and he had two small stitches there. Roy hadn't given them much thought, it was just one more injury added to the extensive list.

"Alphonse can't do it?" Mustang wanted to bring the boy out of his daze, he worried that Ed might have some sort of flashback if he talked too much about it now.

"Al won't." Ed said, sounding mildly accusingly.

"I can't get a good grip on the scissors; I don't want to hurt you by accident, brother." Al sighed and Roy got the impression that they had already been over this more than once.

"I know. Sorry," Ed muttered, casting his eyes to the ground.

"What if I cut your hair, then?" Mustang asked suddenly. "And you could sit on the floor with Alphonse. Could you do it then?"

"I-I'm not a little kid," Ed stammered and looked irritated again.

"I didn't say you were."

The fight seemed to go out of Ed then and he cast his eyes around the room, as if searching for a reason that this wouldn't work either.

"Fine, we can try it," he finally said.

Roy located the scissors which had been, at some point, knocked under the hospital bed. Edward situated himself so that he was practically in Al's lap. He was gripping his brother's arm as tightly as he could with one hand and, while Roy watched him, the Colonel started to think that this wasn't going to work. Ed was obviously working hard to stay still, but he was like a coiled spring, ready to jump up at any moment.

Roy kneeled in front of Edward and the boy instantly leaned backward away from him. Mustang raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. Ed looked frustrated and he glared hard at his own hand. His flesh hand was gripping Al's arm tightly and Roy worried about his injuries there. Ed's automail arm didn't seem to be working properly. It would twitch occasionally, as if registering a faint signal from Edward, but mostly is just hung uselessly at his side.

Roy brought the scissors up and Edward's eyes tracked them nervously. Mustang then flipped them around so that he was grasping them by the closed blades. He offered the handle to Ed, but the boy just looked confused by this turn of events.

"Take them," Roy prompted. Still looking apprehensive, Ed reached and shakily took the scissors with his bandaged hand. Roy ignored the blood from the IV line that had saturated some of his bandages.

"I can't cut it myself." Ed looked at the Colonel as if the man had lost his mind. "I can't see my hair and I can't hold them steady." The last part was said more quietly. Roy sighed in exasperation.

"I know, but can you open and close them?"

With some effort, Ed found he could open and close the scissors, but the movement seemed to cause him some pain. With another sigh, Roy very carefully caught Edward's hand to hold it steady. He then leaned forward so that his face was only a few inches from Ed's hand. Roy gave his own head a shake, allowing his bangs to fall in front of his eyes.

"Here. Just bring the scissors up and then open and close them."

"Colonel…" Alphonse had been quiet up to this point, but he couldn't hold back his own worry. However, he could see the tension beginning to leave his brother's shoulders, so he figured the Colonel must have an idea of what he was doing. "Brother, be careful."

"I…Are you sure, Mustang?" Ed asked with concern evident on his face.

"I'll support your hand. Try not to stab me in the eye."

Ed furrowed his brow and then slowly, slowly moved his hand toward the Colonel's forehead. Roy was careful to support the boy's movement, helping to guide his hand and hoping the boy wouldn't lose his grip and end up accidentally stabbing him in the face. Once he was within range, Ed opened the scissors and shut them again with a decisive snip. Roy blinked as he saw some of his own hair fall away. He tried not to stare at the dark strands that had landed on the floor in front of him. He could easily fix a horrible haircut; it was fixing Fullmetal that he needed to worry about now.

Roy brushed his dark hair out of his eyes and he noticed that a good sized section of it was much shorter now.

"With my help do you think you can manage that for yourself?" Roy asked. Ed nodded, looking a bit surprised that he had just ruined his superior officer's hair and the Colonel didn't seem to care.

The next hour wasn't easy, but with Mustang's assistance, Ed was able to trim most of his own hair. Upon Mustang's prompting, Alphonse had begun talking to Edward about the latest research he was reading. He also discussed Ed's upcoming release from the hospital. If everything went well, Ed could go back to the dorm in two days. The consistent chatter was only broken up by minor instruction from Roy when he would prompt Ed to move the scissors a certain way. After time, his hair began to look like something normal again. His fringe ended up much shorter than Roy had ever seen it, but at least it wasn't uneven anymore.

Roy had been careful not to pull the boy's hair, as that was something that seemed to make Ed tremor anxiously, but they got to a point where Edward couldn't move his arm into position to cut his hair in the back. Roy gently took the scissors from Ed's hand and seemed to think about the situation for a moment.

"Edward, turn towards your brother. Alphonse, keep talking."

Ed turned himself as he was told and Al gently placed a hand on his shoulder to steady him. Roy then scooted behind Edward. He then glanced up at Alphonse and gave him a nod. Al jumped slightly remembering that he was supposed to be filling in the silence.

"Brother, I haven't called Winry about your automail. I thought you might want to call her yourself when you are feeling better."

Ed let out a sigh. "She may actually kill me this time. I can't even get the fingers to close at all now and-"

The noise of dozens of golden strands being sliced through resounded in Edward's ear and he jerked forward so suddenly that nobody had time to react before he slammed face first into Al's metal chest piece. Roy swore loudly and dropped the scissors to the floor.

"Brother!" Al tried to push Edward away enough so that he could inspect his face for injury. He had new stitches in his cheek and Al worried that Edward had just managed to bust the cut open again. However, Ed wasn't moving from his position so, after brief hesitation, Al carefully wrapped his arms around his brother instead.

"You're alright, Ed," Al said calmly. There was a long moment of silence where the only sound in the room was Edward struggling to get his breathing under control again. After a few strained minutes, his breathing began sounding less harsh and Edward slowly pushed himself away from Al.

Alphonse placed his hands on Edward's shoulders and studied his older brother's face.

"Your stitches look fine," Al said in relief. "Your forehead is red though. Does it hurt?"

Ed shook his head, but didn't say anything. Mustang opened his mouth to try to speak, but no sound came out at first. He took a deep breath and tried again.

"I'm sorry, Fullmetal. I should have warned you."

Ed let out a humorless laugh. He sounded choked with pain and unshed tears.

"No, I'm sorry. I don't know why I did that. It was stupid." Edward was resolutely avoiding the Colonel's gaze now, staring at the tiles on the floor as if he was worried they would begin to move from underneath him.

"Your hair does look better," Roy tried. "We can try to trim the rest of it some other time," he said as he stood up from his kneeling position and stretched his legs. Edward didn't respond and Roy's heart dropped when he thought the boy might not be able to bare something as simple as a haircut ever again. If Edward was that damaged, if he wasn't going to be able to get up and walk away from this… Roy knew he would never forgive himself for allowing such harm to befall him.

"S-so-some other time," Ed stammered finally.

Roy couldn't remember a time he was more grateful to hear such a simple sentence from the Fullmetal Alchemist.

A few hours later, Roy was sat in his office chair with his eyes closed as Hawkeye worked to trim the rest of his hair to match the bit that was cut off by Edward. There was a blanket wrapped around his shoulders to keep errant hairs from sticking to his uniform and he found a calmness settle over him as he listened to the steady snipping of the scissors. There was a pause while Riza inspected her work. Roy felt her gently card her fingers through his hair, looking for strands that were too long. She hesitated for a moment, before resuming her work again.

"Sometimes I think your kindness gets the better of you, sir," she stated, breaking the peaceful silence. Roy hummed as he turned that thought over in his mind.

"People don't think that about me," he finally muttered.

"You're secret is safe with me, sir."

Roy huffed in amusement. "Thank you, Lieutenant."

When the Colonel arrived at the hospital early the next day, he was surprised to find Hughes was already there talking quietly to Alphonse. Edward was lying still in the bed and was breathing deeply as he slept. Roy was glad at least somebody was able to get some sleep during this whole mess.

"Did you cut your hair?" Hughes asked with a raised eyebrow. Roy just nodded. Hughes looked like he was going to say more on the subject, but he got the feeling that his friend didn't want to talk about it. Maes decided to let it go for now.

"Roy, maybe you could help me out?"

"With what?" Roy asked as he brought over the other spare chair in the room.

"I was just talking with Alphonse here about a slight situation that has come up. It's not strictly confidential and I think you should know."

"What's this about?" Mustang asked, casting Alphonse a scrutinizing look.

"A man named Jaysen Pace has contacted me. He is Warren Pace's only living relative and he will be in Central tomorrow."

"And?" Roy began to feel a horrible sensation in his chest, like he was about to be blindsided by something and he couldn't stop it.

"I believe he was hoping to be able to bury his brother, but as the investigation is still open, he won't be able to. So, the thing is, Jaysen Pace would like to speak with the only surviving victim."

"No." What the hell was this about? Had Hughes lost his mind?

"Roy, I'm not happy with the idea either and I've already told him he wouldn't be able to, but I thought Edward should know."

"What good could come from him knowing that?" Roy's voice began to rise in volume. "What good could come from him meeting with him? No, Hughes. Hell, no." And now Mustang was standing up and he didn't know when that had happened.

"The man is not the same as his brother," Maes stood up and tried to place his hand on Mustang's arm in a pacifying motion, "and I think he wants to… apologize."

"Apologize… the murderer's brother wants to apologize?" Roy sidestepped out of Maes' reach. Maybe it was due to lack of sleep, but Roy had heard enough.

"Look, he is going to speak with me tomorrow afternoon in my office. He will not visit Ed here."

"Of course he isn't," Roy scoffed. "He's not coming near him. Why would you even think that would be a good idea?" You didn't see him yesterday.

Hughes took in a deep breath through his nose. Pick and choose your battles.

"All right, Roy. I was going to ultimately leave it up to Edward, but if you feel that strongly about it, I will leave it alone." Hughes gave a nod to Alphonse, who had remained quiet during the argument. "I have to go anyway; I will see you boys later."

As Hughes moved past Roy he paused and gave him a scrutinizing look. "Walk with me for a moment?"

Mustang hesitated before giving a curt nod and following his friend out the door. Once they were both gone, Al gave a sigh and looked at Edward's still form. His brother had told him two nights ago about what had happened involving Kaleb Barringer and, while that had been incredibly difficult for him to talk about, Edward had managed to tell his brother the whole story in between choked sobs and clenched teeth. However, Edward outright refused to tell Al the details about his short time held captive by Warren Pace.

"I wish you wouldn't do that, brother."

Edward fluttered his eyes open in response.

"Do what?" Ed asked, his voice still sounding rough from sleeping.

"Pretend to still be asleep. It's awkward for me."

"I wouldn't have woken up if they hadn't started talking so damn loud, nobody can sleep through that."

"Did you hear everything?"

"A lot of it."

"What do you think?"

"I don't know. I'm not sure what good it would do to meet him, but…" Ed trailed off, staring silently at the ceiling.

"But what, brother?"

Maes and Roy walked in silence for several paces.

"Al told me that Ed will be discharged from the hospital in a few days. They are planning on leaving to Risembool as soon as Ed feels strong enough for the trip. Al says Edward wants to have his automail repaired as soon as possible so he can walk properly."

Roy nodded. "Good. I've already put paperwork through for him. He is on leave for at least a month."

Hughes stopped walking abruptly and turned to face his friend.

"I'm sorry, Roy. I didn't mean to scare you about Jaysen Pace."

"I'm not scared of the Pace brother," Roy ground out.

"That's not what I meant." Hughes pinched the bridge of his nose and then rubbed at his eyes.

"Get some sleep, Hughes. You look terrible."

"Look in a mirror, Mustang. What the hell happened to your hair anyway?" Maes gave him a strained grin, which Roy returned briefly after a moment.

"It's a long story. I'll tell you later."

"I'll look forward to it."

Hughes exited the hospital with a wave and Roy found himself staring after him, unmoving. He took a moment to gather his thoughts. He just needed to handle one thing at a time… He was going to go back and check on the Elric brothers and then he would continue on with his day as normal. If he had a say in it, Edward would never know anything about Jaysen Pace.

"…I do want to ask him a question," Edward murmured sleepily as he let his eyes close again.

To be continued…

A/N: I'm sorry. This chapter took a pretty big detour that I wasn't expecting. I always feel very driven by the characters when I write. I don't control them at all; they tend to let me know that they want to do. I was having a hard time with Roy. In my mind I finally just asked: "Roy, what do you want to do?" and then it was like he leaned over and whispered in my ear: "Get very drunk." So I allowed him that. It was not planned at all, but what my baby wants, my baby gets.

"I lie in bed at seven in the morning and the voices of my characters talk to me. They control everything. I write hurrying on, hoping to find out what will happen next." –Ray Bradbury

Thank you to everyone who put this on alert and favorited it! A special thank you to those who reviewed and let me know I wasn't off track with this. Much love to you.

I was going to say this at the end, but I think I will put it here.

Alex, my brother, this is for you. This whole story is written with love in your memory, but this chapter especially is for you. For all the nights we stayed up watching both Fullmetal Alchemist and Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood. For the night that you cancelled plans so that we could watch the OVA collection on DVD together. For the times we spent stalking the voice actors at Anime Conventions. And for the long conversations we had about how much we just loved this show. I miss you every day. Don't forget 10.03.11.

"A lesson without pain is meaningless. For you cannot gain anything without sacrificing something else in return. Although, if you can endure that pain and walk away from it, you'll find you have a heart strong enough to overcome any obstacle, yeah... a heart made fullmetal."

Until we meet again on the other side of the gate.