February 3rd, 1945

Buchenwald Concentration Camp

The food on my plate seemed repulsive to say the least, but I knew it had to be eaten that day I needed a bit more strength. I was already pushing the limit when it came to having food stay down within my system, already waking up early and going to bed late from the other wounded Germans that I was sent over to help. As routine as it was. it was still a notion that I was slowly suffering in front of all of the men.

We were becoming more like a family to each other, talking in the depths of the night and under our breathes to one another throughout meals, it was getting more accustom that we were together as more of a family unit than anything, swapping stories with one another and how long we have been serving in the army before we were captured. I was slowly getting used to the men there, their faces and how they moved throughout the snow and even hunched over their cots after a long day at their hard labor as POW's. I felt bad for them since they would never let me do the kind of work that they were doing. But then again I was doing my own work and my own pains there.

"Over here," I walked over to where the others were sitting now, seeing them already eating some of the muck of the muck off their own plate. There was about 25 of us there within that camp, all of us sitting together within a couple of benches and tables now as I was squeezing myself between Charles and Benjamin now, seeing them eye me as I moved my spoon around on the plate and tried to find some energy to eat up all that they had on my plate.

"You need to eat, or else they'll make it worse for you," Charles tried to reassure me now as I was still fiddling with my food now and noticing how skinny my own wrist was looking like I was a skeleton more than anything.

"They've already made it worse for me by making me mend their men," I muttered back to him now as the others were listening in to our conversation. Some of them scoffed at me a bit now and the others were staying silent from it.

"You have more of a freedom than what we do," Charles reminded me with a small smile on his face, the men across from me, Anthony, eyed me as he was holding his fork within his fingers and it made me watch him now as he was looking a bit on the bitter side than anything.

"How many of those Krauts are they making you wrap up?" he asked me in a lower tone now, the British soldier soldier named Nathan next to him shoved his elbow into his side to shut him up now as the rest of up at the table looked at him in both shocks and with a bit of a gasped look. He was treading on thin water when he would talk like that to the very soldiers and officers that we holdings hostage.

"Shut your trap, of do you want to be shot in the bloody head?" Nathan asked him under this breath in a hiss now as Anthony just shook his head now in annoyance.

"They can't do shit to us, you all know that." He reminded us now as I took a hesitant bite from my plate and felt the muck go down my throat in a slimy pace.

"They can still make your time here more miserable, up until you either die on the ground or we get liberated from here," Charles explained to him now as he took ate from his own plate without a second thought to it.

"I'm not afraid of them," Anthony replied to him now in almost a bolder tone now as he then eyed me, having me look back down at my plate and not lock eye with him since I knew he was the one who was a bit more of a hothead than anything. He sighed through his nose, almost in agitation and having me feel like he was about to have another fight with me again and I wondered what it was going to be about this time. I knew he didn't like me too much, either because I was a female and for away with most of the things within that camp that they wouldn't never dare to touch and try to attempt. Or it might have been that I did not go out with them on their daily forced labor along the mountains, staying within the prison walls that were both dangerous and safe at the same time.

"I doubt you're afraid of any of them, am I right…Fräulen?" He asked me now, using the German term in a bit of a bitter manner now as I felt Charles shift next to me a bit now in hesitation as I looked up at Anthony now with a curious look.

"Anthony…back off." Tim warned him from down the table a bit now as Anthony was glaring at me now and Charles was about to talk to him now.

"You've been living a bit on the good life when it's compared to the rest of us now, haven't you?" He asked again, "And don't deny it, I bet some of us are having a bit of a thought as to why they are keeping you there alone with them in those rooms apparently mending their bodies."

"You shut your mouth," Charles wanted him in a vice of a tone, almost shaking the table now as how he slammed his fists down on the surface and glared at a shocked Anthony. Charles was always our rock throughout this process of being here at his camp, almost lie ur grandfather or our elder that we could go to for guidance and for faith. He was a faithful man, he knew of God and how God worked in our lives. But now, it was a change for him to be seen as more of a tyrant than anything since we were used to his calm demeanor.

"You have no right, here this place or anywhere on earth, to say any kind of accusations about Georgiana, or anyone for that matter. For shame!" I shook a bit from his tone and what he was saying to him now as a way of trying to make him feel lower than dirt. I never took Charles as someone who was going to suffer from the ways of the camp, having me look over at him from my spot next to him and see how he was giving Anthony a look like a father would to a child he was scolding and disciplining. No one said one word after he spoke, having me slowly move my hand over to rest of Charle's arm to maybe calm him down.

"Up! On your feet! All of you!" Several german officers were coming into the mess hall now with their guns out and aiming at us now, walking in with some kind of a motive behind it and then having us all shoot up from our spots on the benches. I saw one soldier shove a POW onto the floor since he was not moving fast enough and in return we were moving back onto our feet.

"What's going on?" Timothy asked out of the blue now with worry in his voice while we were lining up against the tables there. I looked down the line, seeing the others getting in line and in place shoulder to shoulder now as the guns were still pouting at me now in a rash manner.

"I don't know," Charles whispered back to him now.

"Outside, all of you!" The sergeant yelled at all of us now as we were then walking out in the line and back out into the cold. This was not part of the regular routine that we would do day to day. This was far from being normal for us since we were used to being in a line for roll call right after lunch, not during lunch. Something was up, that or we were getting to be moved somewhere. The latter was a very rare case really, so I was going to go with the first suggestion:

Someone screwed up, and we were going to pay for it.

For the first time in days, the snow stopped falling that day but it was still freezing and enough for all of us to shiver there within the snow in our line now right outside the mess hall. I was next to Charles and Timothy was on my other end, Anthony was on the other side of Timothy and he looked just as worried as the rest of us now. None of us were really knowing what was specifically gong to happen, but in times like these we were ready to stand on our toes for anything that they would do for us.

And we mean anything.

Once again, we saw the infamous captain walk over to us now with his own hands behind his hands, but I could tell he had something behind his back within his hands and he was not going to show it just yet, almost like he was so ready to be making it a surprise for us. I was already scared about it now that he was going to reveal it anytime soon. So we stood there in stone since now since it was getting more intense, seeing a bit more soldier out there on the line, their guns all pointing right at our heads and none of them looked too pleased to be there. Now, something was really wrong now.

"After we swept all of you barracks, we came across something interesting," The captain said in a low tone now as he was walking down the line in front of each of us in a slow manner and with a stern look on his face. I could tell everyone on this line was feeling a bit on the edge now since we were not prepared for this. I shifted a bit in the snow now, the soldier in front of me now cocking his gun right at me and having me freeze. They were on edge because of what was about to happen, almost like the calm before the storm.

"Someone here….within your line….decided to try and bend our rules," I had the real urge to look left and right to see who he was talking about. I doubted anyone that I would know would do something like that, only if they wanted a death wish they would.

"There was a radio found in one of your barracks, and I wish for the one who made it come forward, or else the rest of the soldiers within this line will be punished," He explained to us now, his voice was a bit lower than usual and more of a sinister reaction than anything. My eyes went big from what he told us as I watched in horror the Captain moving whatever object he was hiding behind his back out to be in front of him now. We all looked, all in shock now as there was a radio, made from scratch, within his hands and was small enough to be hidden within a pillow or tucked in the corner of the room behind one of the poles of the bunks. It looked very specific and technical within his hands, almost like it took a month or so to even make it and get it together. I once again wonder who it was that did its, which left us at the next obstacle. If no one was going to step forward, we were all going to get in trouble, or worse, get killed and shot there in the snow within an instant.

"No one?" The captain asked now in a low manner now as he was looking at each of us now to see who was going to cave in first and confess to the radio. No one moved. not a single person now as he was slowly becoming impatient about it and more agitated that no one was going to cooperate with him. I only wondered when this was going to end and how it was going to end. With me either alive or dead.

And then, out of nowhere, someone moved and to stand out in front of all of us now and all by himself. We all looked, having me lose my breath from seeing that it was Anthony, standing alone there in front of us now and having me only hope that this was not real.

"Ah, Mr. Kraviz….I would think it would be you to be the one to bend the rules," The captain said in a low manner now as he talked over to Anthony and stood in front of him. I watched next to Charles now as the captain was now holding up the radio to be at eye level to Anthony now and Anthony stayed so still now, not saying a word or showing any kind of weakness there within his stance.

"It's quite a nifty little radio you made, out of some of our parts at the mechanic ward and even from some of our own tools that I thought my own soldiers misplaced while you were working," The captain went on now, having me watch very carefully to see what he was about to do to Anthony. Nothing happened within a few seconds, but then I saw him swung his arms back, still holding the radio in his hand now and then slam it against Anthony's head. Anthony yelled out in pain and toppled to the floor, all of us were about to go over there and stop him when the soldiers, still aiming their guns at us, took a step and told us to say still. Anthony was on the floor, blood on his lips and cheeks now as the captain threw down the radio now, having us see it be shattered to pieces and no longer functional. There was still blood on the radio.

"I don't take kindly to those who are trying to get my own men killed, even prisoners like you whom I thought I was treating so kindly compared to others," He said now in a bitter tone as he then looked over to the soldier now who was closest to him and then nodded his head once. The soldier grabbed something that was attached to his side and then I paired with a gasp on my lips.

A baton, a baton for hitting.

He took one swing at Anthony on his stomach, having all of us shake in pain and in horror as he heard him take the first blow and then a second one. For some reason, I was no longer thinking of myself and how I was meant to say quietly and not speak. But this, hitting another soldier right in front of us and expecting us to just let it happen, to another American whom I both hated and didn't mind a the same time, it was not going to happen.

"Stop!" I yelled, the word leaving my lips before I would even think about stopping it and my feet were moving without me trying to keep them still. For some reason, my head and my feet were trying to get over there and help Anthony, and I knew I would going to be shot there on sight. But it was no what I thought would happen since a soldier swung at me with his own gun that he was holding moments ago and then I fell to the floor, blood on my head and my eye now throbbing in pain. I was on the floor, having me see the blood from my eye and forehead scatter onto the snow now, almost tainted it with sin.

"STOP! YOU TOUCH HER YOU SHALL BE SHOT!" The captain bellowed now as he was no longer focusing on Anthony, but he was frozen with the baton in his hand, glaring at the soldier who hit me now as I was gasping for air, my head on the ground and my brain feeling like it was about to shut down from the floor. There I was, freezing on the floor and my head busted open practically from the single blow of the gun to the head. I could hear some men talking above me, but it all sounded muffled out like it was some kind of out of body experience, and I felt more like a fool than ever before. What was I thinking, trying to reach him when I knew I was going to be hurt, if not murdered there in cold blood on a cold winters day as a prisoner.

"I should shoot you here and now for even making her bleed without my fucking consent!" The Captain said to the soldier, walking over to slap him across the face and having me feel more pain in my head now like I was being hit over and over again, and all of that for one simple slam to the skull by a gun. I then heard the captain shift a bit above me, standing over me for some reason like he was a guardian of me as he cleared his throat and Anthony down a bit away from me now and he was still struggling to breathe.

"I think you all have had enough for one day, and now you can rethink any kind of propositions or thoughts of going against me. The next time I find out that another one of you is going against my men and me….I will make sure that your punishment makes what I did to Mr. Kaviz look tame," He explained to the rest of the men who were still standing in a line now, having me slowly move my head a bit but grunt in pain as I saw the men there, hoping to see what they were having on their faces. Charles was looking down at me, on the verge of tears and the look of shock on the others faces. I felt so bad for doing that to them. but then again all I was thinking about within that moment was make sure Anthony was going to be alive and stay safe. I was thinking outside of my head again.

"Get them both inside before they freeze out here and stain more of my snow out here," He said to the rest of the men, having me hear nothing now from anyone else, but the sound of boots walking away from Anthony and me who were sprawled on the floor and I sighed in relief. It was all over now, and then after a moment or two now before the rest of the soldiers that were in the line rushed over to the both of us. Charles cradled my face within his hands, looking at me up and down and I could have sworn I saw his cry a bit then and there.

"Come, let's get you inside and out of the cold," He said to me, having me close my eyes.

I almost died that day.

"You are far braver than the rest of us," Charles explained to me as he was dabbing the blood for my head and I was laying on the cot there, now being the wounded one that needed the attention more than being the healer. Charles and Timothy carried me back to my bunk and some of the others got Anthony in and in his own cot. Charles wanted to make sure I was not going to get an infection from my wound on my head and along my hairline from the gun.

"I was an idiot for doing that," I tried to reason with him as he was wiping away the blood from his small first aid kit that I would use on my own wounded soldiers that would be in the operation room. I squinted from the dabbing, but Charles gave me a sincere look.

"You were a soldier for doing something like that," he explained to me now as I was giving him a confused look, not understanding why he would say something like this to me.

"I'm not a soldier." I stated to him, only for him to understand I was merely a nurse and nothing more or less.

"You were for a good soldier for a few seconds, and all of us saw that." Charles explained to me now insecurely and with an act of kindness to me now, having me feel like I was just breaking all of grain from how he was trading me like I was one of his own children and he was trying to mend me again.

"Where's Anthony?" I asked him out of the blue now and wondering what happened to him since he suffered more than me.

"He's healing up in his own cot, but I know the captain will expect the both of you at the next roll call as if nothing happened." Charles explained to me in a bitter manner now. I cringed from the thought of us having to go out there now with our freshly brushed faces and hearts. It was their own way of punishing us: They weren't going to kill us the easy way, they were going to make it a long and hard death.

"I need…I need to help him," I muttered out to Charles now as I was about to get up from my cot and go over to find Anthony. Once again, I was thinking back to being a nurse and how I had to help my fellow prisoner since I felt like he went through worse than me. Charles gently and lovingly shoved me back down onto the cot and having me almost give him a sour look now.

"Anthony is well taken care of, you need to sleep and care for yourself now," Charles instructed me, having me nod in agreement with him since I knew it was better for me to not argue with him. I leaned back into my pillow and tried to close my eyes without the pain there. I was just glad that I made it out alive, but it was too close of a call.

Way too Goddamn close.

March 12th, 1945

Buchenwald Concentration Camp

11:32 pm

I was fast asleep in my cot, once again thinking of my home and having a pleasant dream about it really. I was still sleeping within the thin sheets, the cold air was slowly creeping under my skin more and more now as someone was once again shaking me awake. I woke up, stuttering a bit now since the shake was a bit harsher than I was used to. Right in front of me, crouching low to the floor with his own combat shirt jacket on and with a stern look on his face, was Anthony. I was confused to see him there and the small car he carried over his eyebrow there. I remember that day in the snow when he was almost beaten to death, and where I was trying to save him.

"Wake up, Georgie." He said to me now in an urgent tone, having me hear someone behind him in the men's barracks.

"I'm tryin' to sleep, Anthony…" I said to him in a drowsy manner as I was about to wave him off from whatever he was planning on doing next.

"No, come on Georgie, you need to grab your jacket and your kit, and hurry!" he said to a more serious and almost panicked manner now as I was getting more awake from how serious this situation was feeling, whatever it was. I was getting nervous as to what was going on, having me sit up a bit now to see the others behind him, moving around in a fast manner and grabbing their things from their cots and shelves. Oh shit.

"What's going on?" I asked him now in a whisper. He grinned at me.

"We're busting out of here."

"Under here, through the barbed wire, don't make a fucking noise!" We were crawling out of the window from the backside, seeing that were was a mere gap between the back wall of our ward and the barbed fence that was there. I had my hair braided and pushed to the side with my kit in my jacket pocket and the others were saying as quiet as humanly possible while Timothy was walking along the line to find where I would think they made the small hole some time before apparently.

"Got it!" Timothy proclaimed in a whisper now as he ran his finger along the tied barbed fence that they held together. We all gather over there before we heard the gates in the main part of the map opening ad some of the gaurs were calling out. We all ducked, hoping that the shadows would hire us. None of us made a since noise now as we looked through the windows again out into the main courtyard and we saw the guard moving about, over to where we saw a train pulling in from the tracks.

"Shit, more prisoners are coming," Timothy hissed under his breath.

"This is our opportunity, we need to move now while they're not looking," Anthony urged us now as he moved to the wires again and got out his sharpened toothbrush that he used now as a knife. He started to get the ties undone now, one by one as I was still looking at the boxcar that was opening and seeing the new prisoners that were pouring out. I cringed, almost crying from seeing how skinny and simple they looked in their rags. I saw their lives in those eyes, how they once thought their lives were simple and free, and now their lives were hanging by threads and no longer prosperous. They are already dead where they stood.

With those yellow stars sewn on their jacket.

"Come, Georgie. We must flee now before it's too late!" Charles grabbed my arms from behind and urged me to move away from the sight now, having em finally turn around and see some of the men already going out through the fence and into the darkness of the forest. I was the second to last to go out, following the other 6 that were going out including Timothy and Anthony and Charles. I ducked under the wires, almost feeling one rip into my combat jacket now and feeling one of the widest that poked out, in fact, tearing a bit into my head. I gasped out from he pain, feeling some blood from the cut already coming out, but I was not going to make a sound, not now. I had to fight the pain and the fear that was troubling and bubbling within my heart. It all happened with two seconds.

I was outside the camp. I was free.

"Come, we need to go East!" Charles was leading the way now, since he was the eldest and knew a bit more of the German countryside and we were chugging along, running with our backs down and our head straight had, looking for some kind of way to get out of there and out of the dark woods I had no idea where I was going, just trying to guide myself through the trees and also trying to stay as close to the others as humanly possible without losing them. WE were running at this point and not trying to be seen, but as of thus far, we were in the clear.

"We need to find a road," Charles said to us from the front, having me look back again and see we were getting farther and farther away from the camp. The lights were still on in the camp, but there were no sirens were heard now as I looked ahead again, in hopes that we were going to find another town and soon.

"What do we do when we find a town?" I asked Timothy in a hiss as we were moving some more in a brisk jog now more than a run.

"We tell them we're Americans and we find our way to a Battalion CP," Timothy answered me back as I was trying to stay right on his tail.

"Oi, I'm looking for my own men, not with you Yanks!" Nathaniel replied back in a snort.

"Shut up or we'll be found!" Anthony hissed at all of us now as we were slowly maneuvering our way more and more into the night, having high hopes that we were going to make it to a town and be safe there. I only wished the same thing now, not wanting to have another scare and another thought of dying when I close or open my eyes. This was right, us fleeing or our lives and hoping to make our future bright again. So why was I afraid?

Why was I petrified?

March 13th, 1945

Kleinobringen, Germany

12:03 am

We ran for about another 30 minutes or so, going at a fast pace and then weaving our way through the brush life that lead us over to a road, finally. I never thought I would be able to be so happy for finding the road again, a road outside the camp that was not going to lead to my death. We jogged along the side of the road now, all of us sticking together in a straight line and not making a sound now. Art this point I was a bit winded from all of the jogging we were going through, but it was nothing compared to the thought of pure freedom we were going through. The cold was still biting me, the cut I had on my head from the barbed wire clogged up the blood and the blood that was going down my face has already dried and stiff against my skin. I was feeling the heaviness of the night coming over me like a blanket and making me want to stop and sleep, but it was not going to stop me. New sights and smells were inviting me to gasp out in relief, the relieved small of the pavement, the grass along the road and the crisp sky that was not tainted with the stench of death or blood.

"Over here! It's the town of Kleinobringen!" Charles said to us all as he was leading us over to what looked like to be a small town that had silence there. At first, it made me petrified to think hat no one was there, with the war still going on who knew if we were going to be facing Germans again.

The town was far too quiet for me now as we were entering the main road, not a sound was heard and no lights were on in any of the buildings or small houses that were scattered throughout the area. We slowed to a walk now, not sure where to go to next now as we were figuring out what to do next. We were maneuvering our way over to the center square when we heard something move from the side of us in one of the larger buildings, making us all shoot over to the side of another building away from that area and hiding within the shadows.

Not one person made a sound, thinking that it was something else more than anything now. We were all petrified that we were being watched now, that light within that building in one of the windows, having me look over from my spot within the dark to see a shadow moving over to the window. It was opening, the rest of the men moving away and not trying to be heard as I saw the silhouette of a man looking out onto the street. He might have heard us, making me hope that he didn't.

"What is it dear?" Someone from the inside of the room called out to him, maybe his wife.

"I thought I heard something outside….I might be going crazy," He replied out loud in a sincere manner now, having me sigh in relief now as he then said one more thing that made all of us look out in shock, "I hope it's not another German patrol. Those Germans better leave our town alone if the know what's good for them!"

"Don't say that so loud, Ivan! You'll be shot if they heard you," The woman said to him now as he then sighed and moved away from the window. They weren't with the Germans though they spoke it and I saw no Nazi flag hanging out of their window, or in any of the windows in that town. Was this a safe place? I felt like it was, and I was about to say something else to the men when a door opening near us, so close to us that we all jumped out of the darkness and a light shined right at us now.

"Who are you?! What are you doing here?!" There were two men now, talking to us in a fast rate in their pajamas and they were asking us plenty of questions. I was mostly in the back now as the others were trying to find the words to tell them, any of the two, This was way too much, and to think they were seeing us looking raggedy and almost like living skeletons with our barely noticeable combat jackets and pale faces. I had to think quickly now as the others, excluding Charles. SoI finally spoke up after they were all talking to each other and seeing more lights going on in other parts of the village.

"We're Americans! We're Americans looking for refuge from the Germans! Please!" I said to the men how as they went quiet and looked over at me with wide eyes. They both looked a bit stunned already from seeing all of us there at their doorstep apparently, but now that they heard me speaking to them in German and being the only female. They stayed quiet for a moment now before someone else spoke up, having me see the others in my company look at me now with shock. We were all fatigued, out of our own minds in worry that we were going to be caught and shocked that so far, we weren't shot.

"Come, come inside and we can phone for help for you." The man replied to us, having us all sigh in relief as we were all sheltered into the house now without a second thought to it. The worst night to our lives was over.

We made it out in once piece and we were going to see the sunrise again.

March 17th, 1945

Landsburg, Germany

I moved over to the window again, seeing the jeeps were getting ready and knowing that I was going to have to go with them. I was reluctant to go, or some reason, moving away from this place hat I was in and to another area where I had no idea where we were going made me want to throw up all over again. I was only hoping and praying that I was really going to be looking on the light side of things instead of the darkness.

I didn't feel like myself there within those walls of that place, everything was warm and right, not like the camp that was dark and sinister. I was only used to the cold that now the warmth felt unfamiliar and awkward, with the new jacket that they gave me since my old one was now literally a rag. But I held onto that jacket. I wanted to.

It was a testament for me surviving.

"Georgie?" I heard behind me, having me slowly look away from the window and over to the door. There was Doc, another good friend that I have missed terribly. He looked like he was hoping that I was going to be okay and be able to talk to him. I've missed him and the others too in Easy, all of the nurses I befriended and anyone else that I thought I lost along the way. Doc was a good-natured soul, a kind one that some of them can go to for help and moral support. I wished I had that, I thought I did really. But then again, I had Charles, who was almost like an older version of Doc, older and German.

"Major Winters wanted me to tell you we're moving out in an hour," He explained to me with his cajun accent seeping through the room soothingly now as I looked back outside again and breathed out slowly, nodding to show that I was listening, "You're coming with us, right?"

"I suppose so." I replied back to him calmly, hearing nothing from him but then a few more steps over to me now. I stayed still, looking at the jeeps below and the men going over to pile into the jeeps. I was rethinking to when I broke out of Buchenwald, how we thought we were going to die that night. My thoughts broke me away from reality, and when Doc placed his arm on me, I whirled around and pressed myself against the wall.

Far away from me.

I was instantly back in the camps again, feeling an officer push me to the side or up against the wall with such harshness and with such hate that I thought of the worst for me. I could see their faces, how they looked at me like I was come kind of piece of meat to them to devour, and yet I was in a regular room with my good friend. Doc was now staring at me with wide eyes and the look of both shock and pain in his eyes now.

I scared him. I knew I did.

"Georgie." He said to me almost in pain now as I slid down the wall onto the floor, wrapping my arms around me knees and burying my head against the knees to shield me from the world. It was all too much, everything about it was making it hard for me to even concentrate. This was not how it was supposed to be now, not really since I thought I was going to be okay. Getting out of the camp was supposed to make me happy again, slowly bur surely.

It was making it far too fresh.

"Come here," I felt him wrap his arms around me now, kneeling down to be in front of me and just hugging me there. Doc knew for certain how to heal, I thought I did too. We both did to be fair, and yet I was the broken one now and Doc had to try and heal me again. I didn't hear the other set of footsteps now in the room, but I heard my name ring out in the air again.

"Oh, Jesus…Georgie…" It was Joe.

"Give her a minute," Doc said to him in a low tone now, still holding me close to him and myself still trying to breathe in and out.

"What happened to her? Is she—"

"I said give her a minute, Liebgott, okay?" Doc sounded more stern with him, having me hear nothing from Joe now as I was about to have another meltdown there again. Doc still held me close, having me hear him say something in French now in a murmur that sounded more like a chant than anything as I closed my eyes again, once again picturing myself back the camp.

When was it going to stop for me?