Chapter 5

"It doesn't matter," Mrs. Lovett managed to say, a few literally breathtaking minutes later. "If I'm dead, it's all over."

"Nellie, don't!"

Sweeney Todd was almost yelling now, and only later did he realize that he had addressed her by her first name. It seemed to be the only right thing to do now, as if she might listen to him if he showed her that he knew her well enough to call her with her given name.

Her body was awkwardly silent now and her chest hardly moved anymore.

"Nellie," he said once more, his lips close to hers, as if he could force her to take in air like this.

"Why should you care anyway?" she asked, practically inaudible.

"Because I've known you for more than twenty years, in which you have done nothing that makes you deserve this."

"Twenty years…"

Her eyes met his and if he hadn't known better, he'd swear that he read some sort of longing in her eyes.

"Benjamin?"

He wanted to scream that he wasn't the naive and weak Benjamin Barker, that he was Sweeney Todd, but upsetting her now was the worst thing to do. Her eyes fluttered open for a moment, and it felt like her survival was depending on his reaction.

"Yes," was all he said.

"Benjamin," she muttered with her last strength. "I always knew you'd come back for me."

She closed her eyes again, and one hand reached for his arm weakly. He gently squeezed it, watching how she relaxed and how the rhythm of her breath steadied.

For some reason he wanted to hold her closer to him, but he had to prevent himself from getting too close to her once more. So he just held her hand while he rested his head and upper body on her bed.

A feeling of relief and triumph took over him. He had saved her; the Turpins hadn't won this time. Mr. Todd had done more than killing people who had committed sins already; he had rescued someone who was a victim of one of those crimes.

When her breath was almost normal again she drifted into sleep. He gently released her hand and covered her body with her blanket. This would protect her against the cold and he wouldn't have to stare at the curves of her body anymore.

Benjamin Barker would never even consider doing the latter and although he had sworn that that man had died along with Lucy, Mrs. Lovett seemed to find great comfort in the thought that the younger and more naive version of himself was around. It was weird and confusing. Benjamin was apparently the one who was helping Mrs. Lovett right now, but it was Sweeney Todd who felt some sort of attraction towards her.

The barber shook his head, wondering why things could never happen in a normal and manageable way. It probably just wasn't meant to be, like he was supposed to lose his wife and daughter and stay behind with Mrs. Lovett.

Suddenly, it was too much. The negative emotions he usually felt were mixed with a sudden and desperate longing for the woman who was lying in bed. He fled to her parlor so they wouldn't be in the same room anymore but so he still could make sure that no one would bother her. It felt like it was his personal mission to keep Mrs. Lovett out of the claws of men like the Turpins while he waited for his chance to kill the one of the brothers that was still alive.

The baker didn't feel at all better that morning. It was as if Peter Turpin was still touching her, still was going after her, still breathing on her. She had dreamed about dying – she was almost free from everything, when Benjamin had begged her to come back and she had fought to do so – for how could she refuse to do something that Benjamin wanted her to do?

But now he was gone, and with him the security that he provided. Shy and naive Benjamin, the man who wouldn't hurt a fly, the man who wouldn't use his power in a wrong way like all other men did – Benjamin, the one she loved and lived for. He was the one that kept her going and she had been sure he was at her side last night, but now he was gone again and all that remained was the fear and pain.

There was a knock on the door, causing her to jump.

"Enter," she said, her voice shaking. She had no idea who could possibly visit her; she could only pray it wasn't someone from her nightmares who would tell her that the fact that she was saved was just a dream and that she was still in the power of Peter Turpin.

The door was opened, revealing that Sweeney Todd was the one who wanted to speak to her. Seeing his pale skin and the white streak in his hair was a disappointment; she was somehow sure that she had seen Benjamin last night, and this man clearly wasn't Mr. Barker. His eyes were angry and suddenly she remembered how Sweeney Todd had looked at her before; there had been a lustful glint in his eyes, almost exactly the way Peter Turpin had looked at her.

"Mrs. Lovett?"

Something in his voice made her relax, for it sounded almost like the Benjamin she remembered.

"How are you feeling today?"

"Horrible," she answered truthfully, her voice still weak.

"I made you something to eat," he said gently while he offered her a plate with some kind of vegetable on it. She had no intention of taking it from him, since her stomach hurt from the fear and tiredness and it would only get worse if she take even one tiny bite.

All in all, it was really ironic that he looked after her now instead of the other way around, but she didn't care about it. All she wanted was to fall asleep and wake up many hours later, knowing that all this had been one big nightmare that had come to an end.

"Mrs. Lovett? Are you..."

"Why aren't you calling me Nellie anymore?"

She didn't know why she asked; she wasn't really curious about it anyway. Maybe she did because she didn't want him to force her to eat and she hoped she could distract him this way.

"Well, I…"

In fact he knew why very well: he wanted to distance himself from her, afraid as he was of the feelings that took over him for a few seconds when he had entered her bedroom minutes ago and had seen how beautiful she was, just lying there half asleep, as if she was waiting for something.

"Why not?" she asked again.

"Because you were very ill yesterday and I hoped that I'd…"

His speech faltered while he wondered why he told her this anyway.

"Do I look like I'm better now?" she said, suddenly wanting nothing more than to hear him say her name again. Whether he was Benjamin Barker or not, his voice was reassuring to her. "Please, just… say my name."

"Well alright," he replied, a hint of uncertainty in his voice. "If you want me to… Nellie."

She sighed and made herself more comfortable in the bed. It sounded so beautiful to hear him say her name. She had never really liked her name, but when he said it, it sounded so much better, almost heavenly.

"Say it again," she demanded, and so he did, again and again, until he almost whispered that one word. She really looked more at ease, and after half a minute, her eyelids shut and almost immediately she was sleeping again.

Mr. Todd looked at her for minutes, thinking how odd it was that two days ago he wouldn't even look at her; and that now she was suddenly so damn important to him. He wasn't sure how it could've happened; maybe because she had experienced what Lucy had been through, and he could accept Mrs. Lovett in his life now that there was some sort of connection of that kind between his wife and the baker? But it was a fact that he cared deeply for Mrs. Lovett now, even though he hadn't really noticed her until very recently.

Before he returned to his barber shop, he stood at her side for a few more seconds, looking down at her sleeping form. Before he could stop himself, he leant down and kissed her forehead very lightly.

"Sleep well, and get better soon."

Maybe it was only in his imagination, but it seemed that a small smile reached her lips.

The days passed slowly, in a dull rhythm.

Mrs. Lovett spent most of the time in bed. Toby ran the pie shop all by himself. It was hard for the little boy, but he managed, especially because Sweeney told him that he did his mum a huge favor doing this.

Mr. Todd himself ignored his pride and baked the pies, since Mrs. Lovett had written down the recipe for the famous meat pies for him.

The barber worked all day and most of the night, but that was least of his problems. He never slept much anyway. The only thing he did worry about was Mrs. Lovett herself. It was a week ago since Peter Turpin had tried to rape her, but she still felt as scared and weak as on the moment it had happened. She hardly even dared to leave her bedroom. Sweeney Todd was the only one she talked to, but that made things only worse in a way. Although he made sure very carefully that he wasn't around when she took a bath in the basement every once and a while, he couldn't help but remember how she had looked when she was undressed. He tried to deny it, both because of his Lucy and Nellie herself, but he did feel attracted to the baker; in a physical way at least. He hadn't touched a woman for many years, and now he spent so many hours at Mrs. Lovett's bedside; he couldn't help but notice how good-looking she was.

One night, he was sitting in a chair next to her bed again, watching how she struggled in her sleep against the memories while the sweat slowly dropped from her forehead onto her pillow and whimpering sounds reached his ears through her parted lips. He tried to resist it, but he was unable of holding back the urge to touch her. He reached for her upper body slowly and caressed her stomach through the blanket. Sweeney Todd felt as filthy as the Judge and his brother, but he simply couldn't stop his hand that traced the curves of her body. He thoroughly hated himself, both for scaring Mrs. Lovett even while she slept and for doing something like this in the first place.

She struggled slightly, and she moaned in fear because he still hadn't removed his hand. He watched her with fascination, willing himself to let her go but simply being unable to do so. She shivered and he shuddered too, but for a very different reason. Sweeney Todd was afraid as well, but this was because Mrs. Lovett made him feel in a way that only his Lucy was supposed to do.

Because of his inner turmoil, he didn't notice that he was waking her.

"Mr. Todd!" she cried, seconds later when her eyes burst open. "What are you doing?"