Chapter 7

During the day they could both think of only one thing: Sweeney Todd's offer to find comfort in each other's company. Mrs. Lovett wondered if she could ever trust the barber and if she dared to be even more vulnerable than she already was around him. Sometimes she feared the demon barber; not because of his bloodlust and hate for the world, but because he had proven in her bedroom the previous day that he desired her in a way she was sure that she never could give herself to a man again.

Mrs. Lovett would've trusted Benjamin Barker, but this man wasn't him anymore. The naive barber would never act as Sweeney Todd had done when he thought she was sleeping. But he was right; she would end up as a living corpse if she'd continue her 'life' like this. Although it was the best thing to do, she couldn't make that step back towards the real world. At least, on her own; she needed help and the barber was the only one who was willing togive it.

Of course Toby would want to do the same, but she needed support from someone who could really understand her and Sweeney was the only one who did.

She didn't want his love like she used to do. If he was a demon for his customers, how on earth would he be for the only woman he let in his life?

She tossed and turned for hours, staring at the ceiling every time she managed to remain lying still for a few seconds. Only the sound of a human body going through the chute and crashing down on the basement floor every once and a while told her that the world and time hadn't stopped along with her life.

Outside her room, life continued and Mrs. Lovett wondered if people were worried about her, if they hoped she'd come back to her shop, or remembered her at all. Life was hard after all and it wasn't unusual that people just disappeared for numerous of reasons. Her thoughts drifted to her shop too and she wondered how Toby could handle running it without her.

She almost started to wish she could just continue her old life, pretending that nothing had happened, but she didn't dare to and she felt so weak from lying in bed almost non-stop for a week.

While she considered all these things, she decided that she'd try it again. She was a fighter after all, a survivor; not a silly little nit like Lucy Barker, who tried to kill herself after what had happened. Lucy's case had been a bit worse than her own, Nellie Lovett had to admit, but the thought she could handle something Lucy could not, gave her faith. And trying to return to her old life would give her a chance to get to know the man who had offered to help her.

Mrs. Lovett pushed Peter Turpin out of her mind and instead she focused on the present, awaiting the moment Sweeney Todd would return almost eagerly.

The barber himself wasn't so sure about his proposition anymore. He had survived without any affection for so long, why give that up now when he was so close to accomplishing his mission? Why care for Mrs. Lovett, if he was still a married to his Lucy, the only love in his life?

During his working day, Mr. Todd considered these questions most of the time. He didn't think about vengeance all the time and he cut throats automatically. Everything about Mrs. Lovett dominated his thoughts, from her gentle voice and huge eyes to her body which he had seen accidentally only days ago. Especially when he thought of the latter, all his other thoughts faded and his body began to shake, whether he wanted this to happen or not.

Suddenly the man in the barber chair made an extremely disgusting sound; only then Sweeney Todd noticed that he had placed a razor only half in his customer's throat.

One stab later everything was quiet again, but the barber cursed himself for his own weakness and lack of concentration.

It became more and more clear that no matter how long he had cherished the memories of Lucy in the heat of Devil's Island, they faded quickly now he was back in London where he was confronted with Mrs. Lovett's warmth. Now the baker was the one he cared for, she was now the central person in his life and in his heart.

He could do something good if he helped her, or at least tried to help. He might be able to make a different and do something back to the woman who had helped him selflessly for months.

He was afraid that the baker would replace his own wife even faster if he would spend more time with her, but Lucy had always said that she wanted the best for him; so that meant that he could help Mrs. Lovett if that made him feel better, right?

When the last customers had 'left' the shop, the barber cleaned the room. At first it had taken him a very long time to remove all the blood properly, but now that he had done that so many times a day himself, he was getting used to handling it quickly. Not as fast as Mrs. Lovett of course, but he was managing. Yet, this didn't mean that he didn't miss Mrs. Lovett. He started to miss her being around, although he had never thought about it before and he would certainly never had admit it, he did feel better when she was trying to look after him.

Sweeney Todd had made up his mind: he'd do what he could to help her, and himself.

That evening he didn't only take some pieces of bread with him when he visited her, but clean clothes as well. To his surprise, the curtains in her room were partly opened so at least it wasn't so dark in the room. She wasn't asleep, but she was sitting up in the bed, watching him.

"Have you decided yet?" he asked while he placed the tray with food on the night stand next to her bed.

"I have," she replied. "I want to go back to the point where I was before this mess. Your help would be very welcome, Mr. Todd. If you are still willing to…"

"I am," he said, not entirely sure of it anymore now he was so damn close to her again – but he'd certainly try.

Mrs. Lovett felt uncomfortable during the silence that fell and just to have something to do, she started to eat the food that the barber had brought her, even though she wasn't really hungry. This time, Sweeney stayed in the room instead of leaving immediately after he had asked her how she was doing, like he usually did. He was watching her and although he tried not to do this too intensely, she could feel his eyes on her. Suddenly the food tasted even less good than it already did.

"Lesson one," the barber suddenly said. "You can just eat when a man is watching you."

Reluctantly, she continued her meal, feeling nervous because he was watching all her movements. But after a few minutes she found out that Sweeney Todd was right. She calmed down and after she had eaten a slice of bread, she felt better than before. Maybe this would get easier than she had expected it to be.

The barber's presence was helpful too. He had not always been a constant factor in her life, but he had always been in her mind. However, never more than that, since he was either spending all his time with his wife and daughter, being locked up at the other side of the world or pacing in the room above hers. But now he was there with her, not brooding like usual, but actually being there. This was enough for her to make her blush lightly.

"How are things going in the shop?"

She wasn't really interested, but she needed to say something to prevent him from paying attention to her reddened face.

"Toby is running all day long to sell the pies."

"And who bakes them?" she asked, suspicious now. "You haven't 'hired' another baker, have you?"

"No, I haven't," he replied. "I bake them myself. You gave me the recipe, remember?"

"Yes, I did, but I had never thought that you would actually…"

The image of Sweeney Todd baking pies was somehow very funny. He realized it too and he didn't feel good about it, but when she smiled slightly, he decided that it was worth it.

"I thought it was more a suggestion to get me back to work. Because I understand that I'm not of much use to you now I'm…"

"Hush," he said, more gentle than he thought he was capable of, "I couldn't send you back to work after what had happened? You need to rest."

He stared off into the distance, his thoughts had obviously gone to another time and place.

"Who knows how different it could've been if I had been there to look after Lucy when…"

"So that's what's it about," she asked, her voice trembling again. She had presumed Lucy had something to do with it, but to hear him admit it that it wasn't really about the baker, but more about his own guilt for not being there when his wife had needed him so much, still hurt.

The barber looked at her, choosing his words carefully.

"That's what it's about," he answered, trying not to upset her more. "Among others. I want to give you the chance that Lucy didn't have and because you deserve all the help you can get after what has happened."

She nodded, showing him that she accepted this reply.

"I tell myself that it is stupid to be like this, that I should get over with it, especially now that he's dead, but I just can't. I can't forget about how he touched me, the words he said to me… I'm so afraid someone like him will return whenever I leave this room. When I wake up after I had dreamed about him again and I light a candle, I'm even afraid of my own shadow and…"

"It'll pass," Sweeney answered, trying to sound reassuring. "I'll be here to watch over you and I promise I'll never do again anything like…"

He thought back of the warmth of Mrs. Lovett's body, how natural it somehow felt to touch her and that he secretly wanted to do that again, but he knew he had to suppress those feelings and that he certainly shouldn't inform his landlady of them.

"It's alright," she said. "Apparently, that's just the way men are. At least you regret what you did."

Once more he wanted to tell her that he didn't really regret the action, only the fact that she had found out, but that was the worst thing to do right now.

She should get ready for the life she once had led, not for more pain and fear.

"I'll watch over you," he promised her.

She nodded; for the moment, this statement was enough for her.