Chapter 9

The entire next day, the demon barber was looking forward to the upcoming meeting with Mrs. Lovett. It was very strange, but he did feel better and more at ease when he was near her. Besides, he fought some of the cruelty in the world by supporting her and it was a relief to interact with a person again.

That horribly scared look that was still in her eyes made clear that he shouldn't touch her, not even in moments of extreme loneliness that he experienced every once in a while, but at the same time her fear made it easier for him to remain faithful to Lucy like he had promised to do.

The day couldn't pass soon enough and while he killed the customers, the barber's thoughts drifted from Lucy to his landlady quite often.

When the working day was finally over and he went to Mrs. Lovett's room, he found that she had opened the curtains and she was dressed already. She was sitting on her bed, reading a book.

"Mr. Todd", she said happily when she saw him. "I'm glad you're here."

"So am I," he said, to his own surprise; her cheerfulness was infectious.

"It's good to see you're feeling better."

"It really helped that you took me to the bake house last night. I really feel better now."

"Let's go again then, shall we?"

He offered her a hand so it was easier for her to step from the bed and she took it thankfully.

Her hand wasn't cold anymore, but nicely warm like it had been once. She was really recovering from the damage Peter Turpin had inflicted on her.

"Did the Judge visit your shop already?" she asked while they descended the stairs again.

"No," Sweeney said, feeling awful because of it, but not wanting to confront Mrs. Lovett with his frustrations this time. "But he will. Soon."

"Good," she said. "Did you have a lot of work to do today?"

"I killed everyone today since I noticed you enjoy baking a lot of pies, so..."

It surprised him a bit, now that he thought about it, but it was true. Sometimes, once or twice a day, he would let a man live, even if he wasn't accompanied by his family. Some of his customers looked really innocent and kind and usually he just finished their shaves without cutting their throats. But he hadn't done so today; for some reason, he wanted to let the baking process take as long as possible, so he could be working with his landlady for a longer time.

The idea of having to work with even more dead bodies didn't upset Mrs. Lovett. On the contrary, she was secretly glad because this way, she could spend more time with the suddenly so friendly barber.

Mrs. Lovett couldn't worry about awful memories when she was baking during this night which was just as enjoyable as the previous one, especially when Sweeney cast a shy glance at her every once and a while.

"Toby asked for you today," Sweeney said.

"He's a good boy," she replied, smiling lightly.

"He wants to see you again and he asked when you'd come back to the pie shop. I told him that you'll return tomorrow."

She stopped her work for a moment and looked at him in shock.

"But I don't want to return to the shop," she said. "All those men…I never cared when they looked at me in that horrible way most of them do, but now I don' think I can ever stand again to…"

"It'll be alright," he said, trying to reassure her. "I'll be there."

"No, you won't," she said powerfully. "You'll be in your shop, killing all those men…"

"Before they have the chance to hurt you."

She picked up her rolling pin again and hit the dough, shaking her head while doing so.

"But still, I…"

"Don't worry," he said, walking back to the meat grinder. "Perhaps you can try to look after Toby again first. I'm sure it'll be easier for you if you take one step at a time."

In an impulse, he placed his hand on her shoulder to comfort her. She jumped at the touch and for a second he thought it was because the blood that was still on his hand, but when she kept trembling, he understood why she was so scared.

"Mr. Todd!" she cried. "Please don't do that; you scare me!"

"I'm sorry," he muttered, defeated, "I shouldn't have… I'm so sorry for the blood on…"

He took a clean rag from the table and wiped the blood off her shoulder.

She didn't stop trembling when he gently touched her and fear was written in her eyes.

"Nellie, you don't have to be afraid," he said, trying to calm her down.

"I know, but I just can't help it!"

"We have to think of a way to get that better, otherwise you'll have this problem the rest of your life."

"No. There's nothing you can do about it," she said firmly. "It's very nice of you to help me the way you do, but there are limits to what you can achieve."

He didn't really hear the last part of her comment: he was thinking of what he had said himself. He had promised that he really wanted to help her and that meant getting used to physical contact again too. However, he wasn't sure he was really willing to do that. He couldn't deny that he felt attracted to the baker, but he couldn't take the risk of developing deeper feelings for her.

"Mr. Todd?" she asked, clearly unaware of the struggle in his head. "What are you thinking about?"

Sweeney stared at the woman in front of him, wondering if it was really that bad to take that 'risk': there were many good things that could happen if he dared to help the woman who had been so good to him all this time.

"I was thinking about you," he replied, after a few seconds in which he made up his mind. "I'll come back next evening. We won't bake pies then, at least not in the beginning of the evening, but there's something else we have do first."

She looked at him, but he avoided her gaze, knowing what he had to do if he actually wanted to help his landlady.

It would be hard for both of them, but Mrs. Lovett needed to learn to enjoy physical contact again and he had to admit that the baker wasn't the only one who should learn this. After the fifteen years he had spent in banishment on Devil's Island where it was a sign of weakness to show an emotion even for even the shortest moment, the demon barber had become dead inside to prevent himself from getting hurt even more.

But now he was back in London and although that place wasn't much better than Devil's Island in many ways, he wasn't beaten there or laughed at every time he shed tears or twisted his face in pain. He didn't have to hide his emotions anymore all the time and because he didn't have to be on his guard anymore twenty-four hours a day, Mr. Todd slowly started to realize again what it was like to actually live instead of trying to survive another day. But he had forgotten how to enjoy the small things that could make life enjoyable and especially things like love seemed to be taken from his life along with Lucy.

He wanted to experience those feelings again, as if it was easier that way to go on with his life, hoping that he could get rid of the horrible memories of Devil's Island that way.

There was only one way to achieve that. Intuitively he felt that helping Mrs. Lovett would not be only good for his landlady, but for himself too.