Chapter 10

The entire next day, all Mrs. Lovett did was think of what Sweeney Todd had said and, most of all, what he meant with that.

She paced through her room, where she somehow didn't feel at ease anymore. It was as if the walls were coming closer to her, like a cage, and she couldn't stand the darkness of the bedroom anymore.

So she dressed and after a long moment of hesitation, she left the room in which she had spent almost all her time lately.

The baker walked slowly to her living room, while one of her hands was against the wall for support. The room was exactly as she remembered it and when she sat down in her favorite chair, her body and mind slowly relaxed. Although it doubtlessly was very busy in the pie shop, she didn't notice this in the living room and for a while, she just enjoyed the quietness. Toby would probably only come at the end of the day, when the shop was finally closed and all the furniture was clean again.

The thought of the young boy who was so worried about her according to Mr. Todd, brightened her. He deserved something nice now that he had run the shop almost all by himself for so long.

Mrs. Lovett hurried to the bake house where she took some ingredients from a cupboard and returned to her kitchen to bake a big cake for her adoptive son.

She felt at ease in the safeness of her own home and she was looking forward to seeing both Toby and Mr. Todd again. It was miraculous how much better and stronger she felt just because she was out of her bedroom for a while.

The baker sang softly while she worked and when the cake was finished, she took a broom from the closet and cleaned the floor of the kitchen and the living room. It felt really good to be at work again and do all the things she used to do.

However, her mind drifted to Sweeney's proposal. Had he really suggested what she thought he had said? And if he had done so, didn't he know how difficult that would be and that he would probably fail anyway?

Her thoughts were interrupted when Toby entered the parlor. She hadn't expected him yet, but a look at the clock on the wall told her that it was evening already.

"Mum!" the young boy yelled excitedly, "you're back!"

He ran toward her and hugged her tightly.

"I'm so glad you're back!"

She closed her eyes while she held the boy, feeling so much gratitude to have him at her side.

"So you are better?" he asked when she finally let him go.

"Almost," she replied. "Almost."

"I'm so happy Mum. I really missed you, but I looked after the shop for you."

She listened to how he talked on and on about the pie shop, enjoying his enthusiasm and innocence. When he had finished speaking, she showed him the cake she had baked for him, smiling when his eyes grew wide because of the sudden surprise.

"Thank you so much Mum," he said, when she gestured that he could eat as much as he liked.

The cake was too big for him to eat all by himself, so he handed her a piece too and together they ate in a happy silence. The baker enjoyed the little party immensely and when Sweeney entered the room, she only felt better. The barber accepted a piece of the cake too and sat down on the couch, not looking as if he wanted to interrupt the reunion between the baker and her adoptive son.

Although the things Peter Turpin had done to her never really left her mind entirely, Mrs. Lovett felt truly happy at that moment. Next to her were a man and a boy who she loved and who loved her in their own way.

After they had eaten the cake, she chatted a little longer with Toby about the shop. When the boy yawned several times, she told him to go to sleep and he lay down on the couch that Sweeney had just stood up from.

The baker began to wash the dishes and to her surprise the barber helped her with this.

When he was sure that Toby was asleep, he spoke to her for the first time that day.

"Do you remember what I said last night?"

"Yes," she replied, remembering it very well. "But I…"

"Come on Nellie, I'm just trying to… you have to get used again to being touched. You don't want to be scared for the rest of your life if somebody touches you, even when it's just a little accident, right?"

Mrs. Lovett didn't know if she should nod or shake her head; instead she watched the barber with huge eyes, pleading him to leave her alone. But he didn't, just as his temper and aggression had never prevented her from looking after him in the past.

"You don't want to be lonely for the rest of your days," he added quietly.

"I'm not lonely," she stated, more firm than she actually felt. "I have Toby and…"

"You know what I mean," he said, not giving her the chance to finish her sentence. "I'm not talking about a child, but a man. Someone to hold you, someone support you, someone to kiss you, and more. You have to try to find someone like that."

"I have tried," she answered. "I have tried for so many years. But there's only one person I truly care about. And I'm talking to him right now."

"Nellie, you don't understand me. I'm not talking about a friend, but about a husband – a lover."

"If you think that, you are the one who doesn't understand."

They stared at each other for a few seconds; only then Mrs. Lovett realized what she had said. It wasn't a lie, or at least it didn't feel like one at that moment, but she wished she could take the words back. What would the barber think? Or worse, what would he do?

Before he could blame her, or hurt her, or hate her now that she had indirectly told him that she was in love with him, she ran out of the living room, leaving Sweeney there speechless.

The barber remained standing there, as if he was rooted on that spot, unable to believe what she had said. She had confessed that she had been in love with him, but this was completely new.

He didn't know what to think of it. It shouldn't matter that she loved him, because he was supposed to ignore any sign of affection from her anyway since he was a married man, but he had to consider it now, especially because he had promised that he'd help her. And if she cared as much about him as she just had said, it should be easier to get rid of her fear for human contact.

He walked towards her bedroom and entered without knocking. She was lying in bed, fully clothed, and she stared him like she hadn't expected him to come.

"Look, Nellie," he said." I can imagine that this is horrible for you to go through, but this is the only way. If you let me help you, you'll benefit from it, even though you can't or don't want to see that now."

She stared at him, not knowing what to say and not sure what to think herself. She didn't even know what the barber actually meant with 'helping' her, but she presumed it was best not to know; for if she did, she would probably stop him before he had even had the chance to try to help her. She knew that it would be hard to win back the courage that had seemed so normal to her once, but this was the right and perhaps the only moment to make a serious attempt to get her life back.