A/N: My still moment for these two. Enjoy!
"Come on."
"Where are we going?"
"You heard the man. We're gonna get you somethin' to eat."
Beth rolls her eyes at the hunter. "Daryl I'm fine, honest. I already had some water earlier and..."
Daryl stops short, ever so lightly placing his index finger above her mouth. "Hush," he says simply, before removing the finger hovering but a hairs breath away from her lips.
Beth smiles, looking up at him with trusting eyes. If this was what Daryl needs to do in order to feel good about things, than she will go along with it. Their time together has given her tremendous insight into how this man's thought process works. Beth knows full well that she is not going to be able to convince him otherwise so she will have to accept it. This is who Daryl is at his core. The protector of their group, her protector. He needs to see for himself that she is alright, and Beth cannot help but find it adorable.
As if on cue Beth's stomach lets out a gurgle, and then a loud groan. Daryl chuckles as her cheeks burn red. "See there," Daryl says, running a finger down the tip of her nose, "Yah need food."
"Maybe we could order a pizza," she jokes.
"That's the spirit, Greene. Don't know about pizza, but I'll find ya somethin'. Come on."
Beth leans her head on Daryl's shoulder and sighs in contentment. He doesn't release her hand, and she is grateful for the support. It has been a long day and the contact feels wonderful.
He leads her the short distance around the vegetable garden and back towards the small cottage their group has recently transformed into a temporary home. The windows are boarded up, but under the blackness of night, Beth can still make out the soft glow of candle-light that streams through the wooden slats. Daryl unlatches the gate with his free hand, causing the steel that connects to the stone to squeal from rust and general lack of use. Out of instinct, Daryl stops to scan the area for danger. He unthreads his fingers from hers and immediately moves his hand to the small of her back, not wanting to break contact, but allowing him quicker reach of the crossbow in case there's a need. After today he is not going to take any chances with Beth's safety.
As it stands, the only things hidden in the overgrown weeds are the cicadeas and crickets that sing a song for the couple as Daryl carefully guides Beth the rest of the way up the cobblestone path to the front door.
The floorboards creak with every foot fall they take until Daryl and Beth are standing under the archway that leads to the kitchen. Daryl quickly pulls out a chair for Beth, then begins rummaging through the bottom cubboard in search of a jar of peanut butter he had found while out on the road, when it was just him... alone. He sifts around in the far back corner where he hid it behind some old baking sheets, grumbling to himself when the pans hit the floor. At long last the hunter holds the prize in his hand. He stares intently at the jar, then beyond it to the beautiful, blood spattered, hot mess of a girl whom he will never be good enough for and yet makes him feel things he never thought he would.
Daryl's heart constricts in his chest as his gut twists up in warning. Beth is far too young, too perfect, and he is just some dirty redneck whom she had depended, and who he had failed. What is she even doing here with him? A wave of nausa nearly overtakes him as he thinks back to the day Beth told him how much she missed the taste of the stuff. Daryl remembers it like it was yesterday. It was the worst day in the hunter's life.
About a week after the generator sparked the fire that tossed their asses back into woods, he and Beth were sitting on the forest floor, huddled around a small cooking fire that Beth herself had proudly started. She was babbling on about some breakfast her mom had ruined on her twelvth birthday.
As she told it, her mom was cooking an early morning feast of scambled eggs and hickory smoked bacon, with hashbrowns and pancakes to boot. Maggie waltzed into the kitchen of the farmhouse sporting a hickey on the side her neck. She was supposed to be at a girlfriends house studying the night before, but had instead snuck out to see a boy their parents disapproved of. Maggie and her stepmom started to argue on the spot about rules, and values and what ladies should and should not do, while Beth watched her birthday breakfast burn to a crisp in front of her eyes.
Daryl remembers how Beth's comment caught him off guard. "It was the best breakfast I ever had!" she said with a smile. It was one of those bright beaming ray of sunshine, glass is half full type smiles that never failed to steal his breath. She laughed, and he was captivated. "The only thing left to eat in the house were Mama's famous peanut butter cookies. She baked them for her weekly church meeting and had been defending them from Shaun's fast hands since the moment they came out of the oven. Daddy walked in and settled things between Mama and Maggie. Then turned to me and said there was no way he was going to let his little girl go hungry, especially on her birthday. I do so love peanut butter!" Beth said. "Miss it like crazy now. Shaun and Maggie watched on, as I devoured nearly the entire plate of cookies."
"Your mom did all that for your birthday?"
"Didn't yours?"
"Didn't have that kind of mom," Daryl mumbled, then quickly changed the subject. "What happened to Maggie?"
"She was grounded for a week. Had to study at home after that too."
That was one of the last conversations they shared together. Daryl knew Beth had only told him the story as a distraction from the meal of water and mud snake he had provided. He also knew she was having a hard time keeping it down. It was only a while later that she was taken.
Beth needed some alone time with nature, and so wandered into the bushes to take care of business. Daryl knew he should have followed her, stayed closer, but Beth made it clear to him in no uncertain terms that there were some things a girl just needed to do on her own. So he was left with little choice but to hang back and wait. It wasn't until he heard a muffled thump and a car door slam shut, did he race through the bushes onto the old abandoned logging road, watching as the blue car with a white cross peeled away, taking with it, his hope... and then she was gone.
He never told Beth how he chased the car for two days straight until his body finally failed him. He never told her how he walked aimlessly for weeks, not caring whether he lived or died. Or how he still only vaguely remembers Michonne and Rick coming across his sorry ass, as he drifted in and out of consciousness, half dead from dehydration. He most certainly never mentioned to her the nightmares that even now, still plague him. They are always the same. Dreams of walkers and mud snake and Beth... always Beth. Chasing after the car and screaming her name over and over until he wakes up in a cold sweat. It's all his fault for what she has suffered. Daryl replays the events again and again in his mind, as though the simple act of thinking about it might change the outcome. He is to blame. He should have insisted he go with her. Why the hell didn't he insist?"
Daryl sits the jar down on the table in front of Beth and places a spoon beside it. "Eat," he says firmly, then turns to rummage through the cubboards once more.
Beth can barely contain her excitement when she sees the jar. She hasn't tasted peanut butter since before the turn. "Where did you find this?"
He doesn't look at her. "Been saving it is all."
"For me?" she asks.
Daryl huffs, then comes back to the table with a jug of water, a glass, and a tea towel so that Beth can clean herself up.
"I dunno," he grunts out. "Just eat."
Pouring some water into the glass, Daryl sits it beside the jar, then backs away from the table. Silence filling the dimly lit space as Beth spoons the contents into her mouth. The hunter stands stoicly watching her from the corner of the kitchen, and she pretends not to notice the sudden change in his demeanor. Uncertain of the cause, she treads carefully, taking thoughtful note of the way his fingers nervously drum over the belt loop at his hip, announcing that is likely about to bolt from the room or try to pick a fight.
Glancing down at the jar, Beth thinks back to the day she told Daryl of her love for the buttery goodness, hoping it will somehow give her a clue as to why he is suddenly acting so sullen. As the dots slowly connect in her mind, the fog surrounding the memory dissipates and tension begins to weigh heavy in the air. Salty tears well up in her eyes. How could she be so selfish? In her desperate ploy to try to forget, she had never once given a thought to how her disappearance must have effected Daryl... And her heart breaks for him now "Oh..."
"You saved this for me didn't you? Because I said I liked it so much." It is a statement, not a question. Daryl hates peanut butter and would rather starve than take one lick of the stuff. He keeps his head down and shuffles his feet. "Daryl, look at me. Did you find this for me after I was taken?" He mumbles something incoherent into his chest, but Beth need not hear the words. She feels his pain clear as day.
"Well, thank you for this. Best peanut butter I ever had."
Slowly Daryl lifts his eyes from the floor to meet her gaze. He is skittish and Beth is careful not to spook him. She can practically see the gears turning in his brain and only wishes she knew what he was thinking as he runs his fingers over the scruff at his jaw. "It's nothing." He gruffs out.
Beth softly smiles. "You're a good man Daryl Dixon." It's as honest a statement as she ever gave. In Beth's mind there's nobody better. To Daryl it is a lie.
"Don't say that 'cause I ain't. I ain't nothin'! Never came from nothin' neither. My pops was just some dumbass redneck from the sticks who drank our money away and beat us when he was bored! Treated mom like she was less than nothin', and you met Meryl. First decent thing he ever did in his whole life he died for."
"Don't say that Daryl! You.. are not... nothing! You are amazing to me."
"Don't you get it girl! Your perfect! Like some God damn angel or somethin', and I'm just some fucked up redneck asshole whom you let dirty you up a bit!" He knows he is being mean, but Beth deserves better. It's because of him that she was taken. He didn't protect her. No way does he deserve her now. He needs for Beth to see that, even if pushing her away is his only option.
"No! That's not true!" Beth's feels her whole body shake in frustration, and she can feel her face heat up as angry tears bubble to the surface. It always boils down to this with him. Daryl did same thing after the prison, a coping mechanism he resorts to when things get a little to real. Well she's not gonna let him do that to her. Not again. "That's bullshit!" she yells. "I never would have made it if not for you. It was you that kept me going. You know... when I was taken. You were always there in my head, telling me what to do, telling me how to survive. It was always you Daryl!" Beth's voice cracks and she finds it hard to hold back the emotions that are now raging inside her. Tears roll down her face and she quickly swipes them away with the back of her hand, determined not to let him see how much his words have hurt her. "The hope of seeing you again was the only thing that kept me going." How can you say that's nothing? That you're nothing!"
Daryl's cold eyes stay glued to hers, but he doesn't speak. There is something else that he isn't saying, and Beth's not leaving until he does.
His tangled hair hangs low over his features as he turns his body to toward the cubboards, so as not to have to look at her when he tells Beth one final truth that will have her running for the door. Beth won't spare him a glance once she knows. He places his palms flat on the counter to brace himself and takes a long, deep breath before whispering. "I stopped looking for the Govenor."
"What?" The statement comes out of nowhere, causing Beth's head to spin, but for Daryl it is an ever present truth, lingering there as a constant reminder of how he has failed.
"Michonne wanted to keep searchin', but with the prison sick and people dyin', there was no one to help Rick run things. I stopped looking Beth. It was my fault your dad died. I didn't protect him, any of 'em." Daryl's words come out halted and tears start to trickle down his cheek. "I didn't... do... do my part... and their gone. Carol... Tyreese, woodberry, the kids... all of them...Beth, their all gone... Judith!"
The hunter is overcome with sorrow at the thought of Asskicker. It overwhelms him and makes it hard to breathe. Tears flow like a river, between his deep heaving breaths. Beth feels it too, but she stays quiet. The not knowing, that's the worst part.
Judith was just a snip of a thing, not even Daryl's kid, yet Ass-kicker had snatched up his heart from the moment he first held her in his arms. It is a loss that never fades and forever will remain a raw and festering wound.
Beth's heart weeps for Daryl, but down deep she knows he needs to release it. As far as she is aware, Carol was the only one who really bothered to make sure he was ok and Carol is gone now. It rips at Beth's soul to see this brave, strong, amazing man, crumble before her. Not able to stay away, she jumps off her chair and flings her thin arms around his back. Daryl pushes her away. He doesn't deserve her compassion. He doen't deserve any part of her, but Beth pushes back harder, refusing to let go, determined to hold him together. "Their out there Daryl and we'll find them." Beth will be the one to pick up the pieces..."I know we will." ... and mend his heart. "You just have to have a little faith is all."
They stay locked in each others arms for a long while. He cries for the ones they lost, and she cries for him.
Telling Daryl it wasn't his fault would be a waste of her words, because he believes it is. Nor is it even what he's seeking in the end. Daryl needs redemption for all he has done, all he has had to do. This world pulls at them now to do unspeakable things just to survive. It forces them to face horrors they never thought could exist. Say goodbye more times than they should ever have too. Beth lets go of her embrace and gently tugs at his vest, turning Daryl to face her. With knees slightly bent, Beth arches her body, standing on tip-toes to brush back his greasy tear soaked strands. Then using both hands to anchor it in place, Beth looks Daryl straight in the eye, and with all the honest sincerity and love she feels for this amazing man, she very simply states, "I forgive you Daryl."
Daryl is silent. His steel blue eyes pierce into Beth's sky blue depths, looking... searching for the lie in her words, but he finds none. She lets one hand fall from the hunter's hair to wipe a tear from his cheek, and as she does Daryl reaches out his hand to gently pick up a tendril of Beth's golden locks that falls free of her ponytail. He toys with it in his fingers while he gazes at her in dumbstruck awe.
Daryl will never know what he did to have the universe drop Beth Greene into his life, but he will no longer thumb his nose at it. He needs her, and for whatever the reason, Beth wants to be with him too. He would willingly lay his life down for this woman. With those three little words, "I forgive you," Beth managed something Daryl didn't think possible. She lifted the burden of guilt that shadowed his life and cast it aside. She will never be able to take away the pain , but with her at his side, they will get through it together. It hits him like a tidal wave. He loves her. Daryl Dixon loves the youngest Greene girl. He can tell her anything and it will be ok. Beth will stand by him no matter what, and suddenly all of the words that got stuck in his throat on the steps of the church flood back into his mind.
The hunter lets fall the piece of hair he's been playing with, only to place his two large hands on either side of her small face. He tilts his head down, and light as a feather rests his forehead to hers. Daryl's sweet scent of smoke, sweat and wood is like a drug to her now. It floods through her senses, his warm breath tickling her skin as he whispers, "I missed you like crazy when you were gone Greene." He follows his words with a kiss to Beth's brow, sending chills coursing straight down her spine. Her mind goes blank, and she can focus on nothing other than his lingering lips still pressing against her skin.
Next he places another small kiss on the tip of her nose. "I don't want to be without you no more," and her body catches fire. With her senses on overload she can no longer control her trembling lips as she struggles to form a simple reply. "So don't."
Daryl smiles down at her, his confidence growing. He likes what this is doing to her, so he contines the assault with a kiss to her cheek. "I know I haven't always been what you needed," then the other. "I just wanted to give you time." Butterflies tickle her insides, and Daryl takes pause to watch Beth's once blue eyes dilate before he progresses on with his torture. He moves his lips to the sensitive skin at her jaw. "Time to heal," Daryl whispers. "Time to adjust." Beth lets out a groan and the sound she makes is enough for Daryl to want to strip her down naked and take her right here on the table. His pants are so tight, and it's been a long time since they've done anything remotely close to this. Daryl drops one hand off her face, then brazenly glides it down Beth's side, making sure to follow every line and curve of her body on his way to her waist. He wraps his arms around her, pulling her closer so that her body flush to his. She feels his arousal as Daryl leans in to plant a kiss at the base of her neck, and she closes her eyes, waiting in anticipation for the kiss to her lips that she knows is coming next, but alas never does.
Daryl wants her, loves her, but he also knows that this is not the time or place. They have already been gone quite a while. If they don't get back soon, someone will come looking. He knows Beth, knows she will not stop it from happening. He also knows it will hurt her feelings tremendously if he does. This is gonna take finesse. Not his greatest strong-suit, especially in his current state, but for her he will try.
"Beth." Her name comes out strained on his lips. Damn, this is going to be difficult. Her eyes fly open, startled by his voice and not his lips. Frowning, Beth stares up at him like a beautiful doe, caught in his sights. She is breathtaking.
"I... I got you something."
A slow smile creeps onto her face. "You did? What is it?"
She's interested, that's a good sign. "Close your eyes again." Beth does as she is told, and when she does Daryl moves his hands to her hips, carefully turning her around so her back faces his front. The hem of her shirt rises up as he spins her, and the touch of his fingers against her bare flesh causes his erection to stand taller. The electricity between them serges through the room, a raw energy, zapping all around them. Daryl is positively sure in this moment that Beth is a witch and he has been hexed. He can't seem to get enough of her.
The hunter cautiously brings his hands around her body so as to undo the belt that holds her knife, and Beth thinks she may just pass out from the heat that radiates off her own skin as she waits with anticipation. With her eyes still closed, her other senses are on high alert. Her breath comes out in quick, raspy tones. She's trembling and gooseflesh covers her skin; Every nerve-ending in tune to the hunter's proximity. The way her body responds to his both excites and embarrasses her. She knows it's silly, but she hopes Daryl won't notice.
Daryl noticed, but is determined not to let it distract him from his goal. He lets her belt fall with a clatter, allowing his fingers to linger a moment longer on her hips before forcing them off with shear strength of will. Quickly he grabs the new belt and knife from the leg pocket of his kaki's, unfolds it, and wraps his arms once more around her hips to buckle it in place. He then takes the Gerber locking knife, and ever so slowly, slides it into the empty sheath at her side. "Open your eyes,"
Beth does, and looks down at her new accessory. She runs her fingers with a light touch over the leather and carefully pulls out the knife. Daryl watches her every move, hoping she doesn't think his gift stupid. She touches the steel of the blade, then turns the knife over to examine the point, just like he taught her. She balances the weight in her hands and discovers the knife to be a perfect fit, She slides it back in the sheath as a tear falls from her eye. He picked the weapon especially for her. He was thinking about her, and wanted her to be safe, and his gift makes her heart sing.
Those damn tears again. Daryl never knew if they meant she was happy or sad. This woman cries for near about anything. Daryl puts a hand to his mouth and clears his throat. "Figured you needed a new one." He looks at his finger where he had nicked it on the dull blade of her previous knife, then brings his thumb to his mouth and nervously chews. Beth says nothing, just continues to look at him with huge glistening eyes. "It's got a smaller hand grip than your other one. Should be easier for you to work with..." Beth nods in agreement. "...And the seraded edge will make it useful for all kinds of stuff. Not just killin' walkers." He adds. She smiles at his sweet words and takes a step forward.
Beth's silence is driving him crazy. She's the one who always fills in the gaps of conversation. "Damn it woman! Do you like it?"
Beth takes another step closer, positioning herself directly in front of the hunter, and is but a mere inch away from his lips when she finally replies, "It's perfect. I love it."
No sooner do the words fall from her tongue does the front door creek open and foot steps are heard heading in the direction of the kitchen. Startled by the sudden sound, Daryl pushes Beth back a little to hard, nearly causing her to hit the table on the oppisite side of the room as Tara walks in.
"Hey, there you guys are. Rick's been looking for you. Walkers have been taken care of and Carl and Michonne have started a campfire. Groups gathering there now. Just came in to bring out some more water."
Trying to collect his thoughts, Daryl nods slowly before stammering out, "Yah, um, just heading over actually. Getting a little crowded in here anyway." Without looking up or giving either girl a chance to respond, Daryl darts out of the room and right out the front door.
"What's with him?" Tara asks, as Beth stares blankly at the archway.
"You know Daryl. He never did like to miss out on a good campfire."
Tara eyes her sceptically. "Did I interupt something?"
"Nope! Not a thing."