Several showers and some magical stench removal attempts later and the golden trio had resigned themselves to smelling like a ghast for the time being. At least the scent had faded significantly, though they would be mindful not to get too close to Alucard or Hagrid for the next few days.
"At least Professor Alucard won't be able to sneak up on us for a while," Ron smiled slightly despite his continuing failed attempts to rid himself of the permeating reek. "We'll smell him coming from a mile away."
Hermione smiled, Ron's good humor was contagious and the thought of their frightening professor being thwarted in his favorite game... "Jeez, we were only standing near the ghast, and we still smell this bad. Professor Alucard was cuddling with it, and I doubt he's bothered to shower. They laughed at the renewed image of their terrifying teacher cuddling the ghast.
"Defense against the dark arts will certainly become much less intimidating if he brings pets like that," Harry chimed in and they all laughed again.
They hadn't known Seras for very long. Spot, they had only known for a few hours. Despite that, students and teachers alike were reevaluating their impressions and assumptions about Alucard. He couldn't be all that bad if he kept such company.
Umbridge, on the other hand, looked as if she was about ready to storm out of the room to avoid contact with the two despicable vampires. She'd contacted the ministry about the ghast's presence in Hogwarts and they'd completely blown her off. They had turned a deaf ear to all her complaints about the vampires and now they were doing the same for the ghast. She couldn't stand it.
They'd failed to get her the position as defense against the dark arts professor. They'd allowed a vampire to fill that role in her place. And now they were allowing to vampires to simply do as they pleased. It was inexcusable and she was going to get to the bottom of it.
That, and that damned vampire just looked so smug sitting there in the position that was rightfully hers. She couldn't stand it. If only she could get some authority over him. He was the only impediment in her conquest of Hogwarts. She couldn't remove teachers if she didn't get authority over all of them. High Inquisitor was a nice title and all, but even though she could control the other teachers and Dumbledore, she couldn't control Alucard. For some reason, Dumbledore could. Alucard's mere presence was circumventing her authority.
Accusing him of things, whether it be well founded or not, didn't seem to engender any repercussions. After becoming so accustomed to wizarding politics, and learning to deftly maneuver the system, she couldn't abide by someone who operated with such disregard for their rules and customs. It was as if he was untouchable.
Alucard simply watched Umbridge fume and idly wondered if she would ever realize that he was reading her mind. It was hardly his fault either, she thought far too loudly. And it really did make for some great entertainment. She was always so angry, and the best part was her hatred and accusations towards him were actually well founded. She must have "cried wolf" one too many times because the minister was totally ignoring all her complaints and hadn't even bothered to enlighten her about the political situation surrounding his current position. He glanced at Dumbledore, who was also watching Umbridge while smiling happily. The headmaster had a sense of humor nearly as twisted as his own. He knew what was going on and was content to simply stand by and watch.
Then the owls arrived. Alucard would have usually ignored this occurrence considering it happened every morning, though Seras never seemed to cease enjoying the morning parcel delivery. This morning was different. A massive great horned owl with uniquely dark feathers flew directly towards him carrying a small red envelope in its great talons. It dropped the parcel in front of Alucard, flew to Hagrid to retrieve a shred of meat, and flew off quickly, retreating from the room.
This was certainly interesting, Alucard thought as he glanced around the hall. The students had definitely taken notice of the small parcel he was currently holding and were staring at it with a vague sense of horror. The professors had also taken notice, but they just looked confused.
Dumbledore appeared thoroughly entertained, "You may want to open that promptly," he said simply.
Well now he was curious. He could only assume that this had come from Integra, though she couldn't recall her owning an owl. Walter must have arranged for it. He ran a claw under the wax seal, and to his delight, it sprang to life. It made the sound of tearing paper as it instantly shot up into the air and folded itself into an adorable, little paper mouth. It turned to face him directly, still floating midair, and howled, "AAAALLLLLLUUUUUUCARD!"
Yes, definitely Integra. He was laughing really hard now as the mouth continued.
"YOU INSUFFERABLE BASTARD! I SEND YOU HUNDREDS OF MILES AWAY AND YOU ARE STILL A NEUSANCE! WERE YOU REALLY SO BORED AS TO SET TRAPS THROUGHOUT THE MANOR? SEVERAL HELLSING SOLDIERS HAVE BEEN SEVERELY INJURED! HOW DID YOU EVEN ACQUIRE ENOUGH BLOOD TO COAT THE WHOLE BASEMENT? WHY ARE THE AREAS NEAREST HOGWARTS ENCOUNTERING MASSIVELY INCREASED APPEARANCES TO DARK CREATURES? AND WHERE ARE THE GHASTS? NOBODIES SEEN THEM SINCE YOU DEPARTED. SERAS SAID SHE'D TAKE SPOT, BUT FLUFFY IS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND EITHER! WHERE ARE MY CIGARS ANYWAY? I SWEAR, THE NEXT TIME I SEE YOU I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU REGRET YOUR UNDEAD EXISTANCE! A FEW MEALS OF GARLIC AND HOLY WATER MAYBE! OR FILL YOU WITH SILVER BULLETS! MAYBE I'LL JUST STAKE AND DECAPITATE YOU! AND I PROMISE YOU WON'T ENJOY IT YOU DEMENTED SADOMASOCHIST!"
Alucard was nearly on the floor with laughter as the messenger burst into flame and self-destructed. The students were watching, questioning his sanity as his smile distorted his whole face into a collage of oversized fangs. His eyes were glowing brightly. He could hardly stand; this was just too funny. It sounded like she'd found the traps. He wondered how many she had left to discover. He purred in anticipation, her punishments were always exquisite. If nothing else, he would look forward to more of these delightful magical letters.
"Master," Seras called timidly to Alucard who was clearly in the throws of an insanity fuel laugh attack, "did you really trap the manor?" Alucard wide eyes rolled to look to her and she flinched. His toothy grin and crazed laughter were starting to make her nervous. Oh well, she just hoped that the Wild Geese could manage to survive her masters humor with minimal injuries.
She sighed; Master couldn't even be bothered to appear even slightly remorseful of his actions. She heard a pained screech from outside. Alucard immediately dropped silent. That sounded like a ghast, she thought. Spot was safely in the basement, that sounded like it had come from outside.
She hadn't even noticed Alucard move until he was already entirely across the great hall standing at the great doors, growling menacingly. It made chills run down their spines. No humor was left in his expression and his stance screamed predator. There could be no mistake; he was going to kill whatever was on the other side of that door. Alucard slammed the doors open and the students gasped as a pale streak shot past him at blinding speeds to take shelter behind Seras. Whatever it was produced an ear-piercing wail. They noticed drips of blood on the floor where the creature had passed just as their stomachs flipped at a now-familiar stench.
"Fluffy!" Seras cried, "You're injured. What happened?"
Alucard appeared not to notice any of this as he snarled at the open doors again looking positively murderous. His snarl was answered by a loud deep growl that sounded like it had originated from something very large. They felt the sound more than they heard it.
The students screamed as a giant black dog erupted through the doorway grabbing Alucard's torso in it's jaws and cleaving him in two with a sickening squelch as each half landed. Students screamed and teachers jumped to their feet at the sudden threatening intrusion.
Professor Snape was the first to act, "Incindo!" he shouted. A bright orange spark shot towards the massive dog, easily taller than Hagrid. It explodes against the haunches of the beast and it howls, shaking the whole hall with its echoing call.
"It's the grim!" Trelawney shouts amid the panicked confusion.
The smoke from Snape's spell dissipated and exposed a great red burn on the creatures shoulder. The burn was much too large for the spell, surprising everyone. It should have retreated after sustaining such an injury, but it had a crazed look in its eyes that was wholly unnatural. It charged directly towards Snape who shouted again, "Incindo!" and a bright orange spark exploded in the creature's face leaving horrific burns and blinding the creature. It howled again, not pausing in its pursuit.
It screamed one final time as a massive black shadow dog covered in countless red eyes all glinting in the candlelight emerged from the puddle of blood between Alucard's bisected halves and engulfed the giant dog in blackness. It exploded into gore as the deformed dog's head bit off its two hind legs.
The students and teachers screamed as blood splattered across the floor and on them. The shadow dog finished the job and melted back into the shadows on the floor. Alucard's corpse melted into pools of thick, gloppy blood. All the blood flowed in tiny rivers towards the center of the hall. It lifted off the floor and turns to shadows. This, in turn, formed the humanoid shape of Alucard. The last of the blood flowed under Alucard's boots and he stepped back to his chair nonchalantly. No trace of the beastly dog was left in the hall. Alucard sat back in his seat and the hall dropped into shocked silence.
"Is there something you're neglecting to tell me?" Alucard asked Dumbledore mildly.
"Why would you ask that?" Dumbledore replied, just as mildly. Ignoring the fact that Alucard had just exterminated a giant dog from the middle of the great hall.
"That was an iager. And it was travelling alone, on magical territory," Alucard replied. "You are aware that they are attracted to death, avoid magic, and usually travel in packs, correct?"
Dumbledore nodded.
"Then it would be wise to look into what had one acting so erratically." And with that, Alucard took his leave, melting into the shadows.
An: Thank you for all the recommendations. I apologize for introducing an iager by killing it but don't worry, this is not the last time we will see an iager.