A/N: My impression of this chapter is that you will either love it... or hate it. I'm hoping for the love myself. Thanks to Tib for being the beta for this (even over Thanksgiving :)).

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these people/shows/characters or anything else written about in this story.

Chapter 8: The Means to an End

By 11 am, Veronica and Taylor were in the car on their way home. Figuring Taylor was sick of hospital food, and knowing there really wasn't anything to eat at home, she stopped at a drive-thru at some restaurant Taylor didn't recognize. Veronica ordered then asked her daughter what she wanted. Taylor, not wanting her mother to know that she really didn't know what she normally got, decided to just play it safe and get what her mother ordered. It turned out to be a mistake, though, as when they arrived home she found that smallest portion of food she figured had ever been made on God's green Earth. Obviously her mom was very weight conscious-- strangely that made her feel self-conscious. She politely took her food and excused herself to her room, telling her mom that she was tired and needed to lie down.

Of course, she had no idea where her room was which was kinda difficult, but she didn't want to dwell on it. There were lots of things she didn't know… why should not knowing where her room was freak her out now? So, instead of panicking, she decided to explore the house. She had to admit, it was beautiful. The kitchen was just off the foyer which held, at its center, a huge, marble-like staircase with what looked to be rot-iron banisters. At the top, the stairs forked in either direction and each went up another landing. There were two stories to the house and plenty of rooms. At the bottom of the staircase, were Taylor stood, you could go two ways. The left went back to the kitchen she remembered, and the other, well, that was anyone's guess. She walked through a large, rounded door and found herself in a rather large living room area... not that it really looked lived in. A larger than needed mantle surrounded an antique looking fireplace at the end of the room. An open door to the side of the fireplace piqued her interest. It led to a hall.

The entire house seemed to be decorated in warm yellows, soft whites, and light browns, with an occasional sprinkle of a bold hue here and there. She had to admit that it was very beautiful, but one thing stood out, and it bothered her. There were no pictures of her anywhere... in fact there were no family pictures at all. Just paintings of flowers, fruits, fields, a jumbled mess of color. Taylor thought the lack of personal pictures was really sad.

She kept exploring, mindlessly picking at whatever it was in her take-out box. The house had an unusual flow. From the foyer was the living room- then to the very long hall with several doors. She wondered which one was her room and why a house with only 2 people in it needed SO much space.

For her part, Veronica knew, or figured, that Taylor wouldn't know her surroundings. She had counted on it, but she had wanted to watch her daughter. See if anything lit a bulb in her head... praying that it didn't. When she noticed that Taylor looked utterly confused, she decided to go rescue her. "Taylor." she called out, coming down the long hall opposite of her daughter. "Are you ok?"

The girl jumped like she had been shot... or like she'd been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. "Yeah, of course." she laughed nervously. "I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I didn't mean to scare you."

"You didn't." Taylor winced at how her own voice was shaky, obviously giving her away. They stood there, staring at each other for what seemed like an eternity. "Well," Taylor finally spoke. "I guess I'll be going to my room now." She pointed back behind her, turned her back to her mother, and with a sigh, walked away.

"Uh, Taylor. Your room is this way." Veronica pointed behind her shoulder.

Taylor's stomach tightened. This was not going well for her. Her face blushed and she hurried to find some kind of excuse... so she did the only thing she could do... she stammered. "Yeah, yeah. I know Mom. Just checking earthquake damage, that's all." She knocked on the wall. "Oh look. Still standing. Perfect. I'll just go now."

This time she walked passed her mother. "I know." her mother called when she was passed. Taylor froze. Oh God! She thought, wincing. "Know? You know what?" Taylor was afraid to face her. She couldn't deal with this right now.

Veronica inwardly smiled, but outwardly kept a calm, somber expression. No sense in her knowing she was delighted that she had no memory of the Atwood boy. "I know about you and Ryan breaking up. I'm sorry. I know how hard it must be on you."

Taylor snapped around to her mother so fast the room spun. Stupid head injury. "Ryan and I...."

Veronica walked to her and rubbed her shoulders 'concerned'. ".. Broke up. Why yes, baby. You had a huge fight the day of the earthquake. You called me sobbing, saying you broke with him... something about not getting over Marissa." Who the hell was Marissa!?! "That you couldn't love a man who was in love with a ghost." A ghost? Marissa's a ghost... Marissa's dead? The name rang no bell for her, but the thought of her and Ryan broken up made her chest tighten in a way she hadn't expected.

Veronica went on, elaborating the lie, "I thought maybe you'd fixed things since the quake, but I overheard him telling Seth that he felt guilty and that's all. He felt guilty that he couldn't save you, just like he couldn't save Marissa, and that's why he was being nice to you now. It's a phase, baby. Soon he'll get over how bad he feels and he'll move on... or rather back, to pining over the dead girl. You look sick, Taylor. Don't you remember any of this?" And there it was… the phrase that Veronica knew would cause her daughter to agree with anything she said. There was no way that Taylor would want her to know that she had amnesia. That was Veronica's ace in the hole... her means to an end.

"Of course I remember." Taylor spat. "Now, please excuse me. I'm tired and have had a long day. I want to lie down."

"Of course." Veronica nodded, placing her hand on Taylor's back soothingly. Sometimes it was hard doing the 'right thing' by your child. No mother wanted to see their child hurt, but all wanted what was best, and being without Ryan Atwood definitely was for the best. This time Veronica led Taylor to her room and kissed her lightly on the forehead. She told her if she needed anything to call. Then she left her to her thoughts,, knowing she'd do everything she could to keep her from the truth.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"She's going to take advantage of her." Ryan complained as Seth accompanied him around the park-like exterior of the hospital. Ryan was still required to be in a wheelchair, but allowed to put on 'civilian' clothes for the outing. The clothes he'd arrived at the hospital in were ruined, thick with rain and blood. He thought someone had mercifully thrown them away. Thankfully, or not, Seth had came to the rescue with some clothes from the shopping spree. Ryan wore a pair of loose fitting denim jeans (tight ones hurt his back injury), a pristine, crisp, brand-new, white 'wife beater' and a black-button up shirt (just as Seth had promised) that Ryan rolled the sleeves up on. He'd refused the wrist cuff Seth offered.

"She's not going to take advantage of her." Seth answered. Ryan glared. "Ok, she might. But there's really nothing you can do about it, bud, while you're locked up in here." He said it like Ryan hadn't thought of it before. It was all he could think about.

He stopped pushing himself. It took a second from Seth to figure out that his friend wasn't motoring beside of him. He turned around and walked back. Ryan had a look in his eye that Seth just really didn't like. "I may not be able to do anything... but you can."

"Can… what... no." Seth stammered.

"Yeah. Yeah. Seth. Look. Go to Taylor's house...."

"With Lex Townsend?"

"... Talk to Taylor for me. Or---"

Seth raised an eyebrow, really not liking where this was going. "Or what?"

"Give her a letter for me."

Seth rolled his eyes. "So, now I'm your personal UPS?"

"Please, Seth... for me." Seth hated with Ryan gave him that pitiful, pleading look. Drove him crazy. "Ok. Ok. Fine. But an operation like this requires stealth, planning--"

"All of which you're good at." Ryan cheered him on, even though he knew it wasn't true. Seth and stealth were like him and heights. They didn't mesh.

"...I shall depend on my intense ninja training to help me conquer most certain peril."

"And Veronica Townsend can't see you."

"That's what I said." Seth replied, sounding a little deflated.

"Yeah. Anyway." Ryan sat up and pulled a note from his back pocket. "Here."

"You already wrote it?!" Seth asked surprised, snatching the paper from his hand. "You had this planned?"

Ryan shrugged but couldn't help smirking the slightest bit.

"How'd you know I'd say yes?"

"I knew you could never resist me." he raised his eyebrow and looked at him with a smirk.

"Dammit." Seth hung his head and walked away. "I've become Ryan Atwood's bitch."

"Just make sure she's ok." Ryan yelled to Seth as he walked away. All he got in response was a grumble and maybe the flip of a certain finger. He didn't care though. He knew Seth would do this for him. He had his back. He sat in the fading sunshine, watching his closest friend walk away, hoping he wouldn't screw this up.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Taylor had spied every inch of her room for some clues to who she was... who she had been. She hadn't had much luck. Her walls were practically bare except for a plaque naming her Valedictorian of Harbor and a few other academic odds and ends. Taylor knew that either she had been a very boring person, or someone (i.e. her mom) had been in her room picking and choosing what she wanted her to see. She opted not to lean either way. It didn't really matter anyway. She would just focus on what she knew. She had been first in her class, so that meant that she was smart. Smart was good. She had a few trophies. A few other awards sprinkled around the room – nothing helpful.

And just like in the rest of the house, she noticed that there were no pictures. None of her and Ryan – none of her and anyone really. Why wouldn't she have pictures of people, friends? Unless she didn't have any.

It was so frustrating. She felt like a thief or a snoop or even a perv, looking through someone else's life. None of it meant much to her.

She looked in her closet to find it full of clothes; all looked new, probably designer from what she could tell.

As she searched, she finally found one picture. It was in a silver frame on her nightstand. It was a picture of her and her mom from graduation. In the picture, she had on a maroon cap and gown with a massive smile plastered on her face. Her mom's smile matched. She picked up the picture and clutched it to her chest. She sat down on her bed and slowly laid back. When her head hit her pillow, she pulled the picture out to where she could see it again. The girl in the picture, her, Taylor, looked so confident, so sure of herself. That girl knew where she was going. Knew who she was. A tear escaped down her cheek. She felt sorry for that girl in the photograph who had it all, who had her entire future in front of her, with no idea that it would all end with her trapped a hollow shell.

She crawled under her covers, held the picture tight to her chest, and slowly fell asleep.

It was dark when a shuffling noise woke her up. Not knowing the room well, she quickly rolled over and felt for a lamp. When the light came on, and her eyes adjusted, she saw a tall, dark figure of a man looming next to her bed. She freaked and started to scream. A hand clamped down over her mouth preventing any sound to escape. She kicked and hit, fighting him off. He was saying something to her, but she wasn't paying attention. His hand shifted slightly, giving her an edge. She moved her head and bit him.

"OWWW!" she heard him say in a muted tone. He was up beside her bed, hopping and making weird faces in pain. Good, she thought. "What are you doing, Taylor?!?" he said through clear agony. Then held up a finger, pleading with her not to scream. "Look, don't scream. It's okay. It's me, Seth."

Like that made her feel any better. She didn't know any Seth.... except the Seth Ryan mentioned last night on the phone, but it couldn't be............. "What are you doing here?"

"Ryan sent me." Yep, same Seth.

"Well, why did you sneak up on me?" She admonished, adjusting her comforter to cover her top more when she realized that all she had on was a black t-shirt sans a bra and barely there short shorts. Underneath the sheets, she held the picture of her and her mom like a weapon, not knowing how much she should trust this 'Seth' guy. She looked at the clock on her nightstand. It was a little after 3am.

"Ryan sent you?" she questioned. "Yeah, I doubt that."

"Why?" he asked, checking his hand for bite marks. And there they were. Red and bleeding. Ryan owed him big!

"Well, for starters... we're broken up." she replied, remembering what her mom told her before.

Seth stared at her, his eyes furrowed. "Well, if you are, it's news to him. He sent me here with this." he reached in his jacket pocket and retrieved the letter. She hesitated before she took it. "Why didn't Ryan come himself?"

"He doesn't get out of the hospital until tomorrow. Apparently, I'm his bitch now."

She stared. "But not really because – eww – he's like my brother and, you know... Eww--"

"So Ryan's okay?" her thoughts went back to two nights before when had been sitting on her bed, when the stitches broke. Her nearly empty stomach protested against that image and she made herself think of something else.

Seth nodded. "He's ok. Just a little stir crazy. Why would you think you guys broke up?"

Taylor tried to brush it off, but it wasn't hard to see that something wasn't right here. "Oh, just a dream I guess."

"Are you ok?"

"Sure. Fine. Why does everyone keep asking me that?"

"Nothing." Seth answered, knowing that something was. He was starting to get a pretty good idea what it was, but he wasn't going to push it. Not yet anyway.

There was an awkward silence so Taylor decided to break it, "Ok, so tell Ryan that I'm fine."

"So I keep hearing." he scoffed. "Ok then. Good deed done. Minor injuries. Maybe I'll live. I'll go now. Don't want your evil mom on my scent."

She laughed despite herself. "How did you get past her anyway?"

He smiled devilishly. "I used the force young one." He noticed right away that she didn't get the reference. It was something he knew she knew. "The window... I used the window." he clarified.

"Oh." she said. "Ok then. Well, thanks for the letter."

"No problem." He knew he probably should have stayed, but he figured she would more than likely want to be alone to read the note. He said his good nights and went back out the window.

Taylor opened the letter and began to read.

"Taylor,

Sorry I'm not there for you right now, but I will be soon. I promise. I'll protect you from Veronica better than I protected you in the earthquake. You have no idea how sorry I am about that. Get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow.

Ryan"

Definitely not a letter one sent to an ex, earthquake or not, guilt or not. She folded the letter up again and held it to her chest, replacing the picture of her and her mom there. Veronica had lied, that was apparent. If she lied about Ryan, then what other things could she have lied about, manipulated her about. She pulled her knees to her chest and began to bawl.

Seth wasn't two steps outside of her window when he heard the first painful sounds of heartbreaking sobs. He knew Ryan was no Shakespeare so he figured it wasn't want he wrote, but something else bothering her. He wanted to walk away. He'd done his good deed and wanted to just disappear back to his video games and the Captain.

But he was too much of a Cohen to do that.

He lightly rapped twice on her windowsill letting her know he was coming back in so he wouldn't scare her again. "What are you doing back?" she snapped, her face a deep shade of red at being caught being so vulnerable.

"I don't really know." it was an honest answer. "I heard you crying and I – just – couldn't leave."

She scoffed. "You've never heard a girl crying before?"

"Not Taylor Townsend. Taylor Townsend doesn't cry."

To his surprise, she laughed at that-- like someone on TV who just found out they had a long lost twin or something. "What?" he asked.

She shook her head, waving him off. "Nothing. Nothing. It's just... so tell me. What else doesn't Taylor Townsend do?"

"You tell me." he challenged.

"I can't"

He knew it. "Why?" he pushed.

"Because I can't remember!" Once it came out, she clamped her hands over her mouth, her eyes wide, wishing she could take the words back. She couldn't believe she had said it. It was scary and strangely liberating at the same time, but not liberating enough for her to want tell anyone else. "You can not tell anyone." her words were somewhere between a plea and a warning.

Seth placed his hands in his pockets, not really sure how to handle the situation. "Ryan-- look, he knows something is going on with you."

"But not this."

"He has to know."

"No!" it came out much louder than she meant. Again, she covered her mouth and prayed that her mom hadn't heard. To her relief (and Seth's too) Veronica never showed up. "You can't tell anyone, Seth, especially not Ryan." she whispered.

"Taylor--"

"Cohen!" Whoa, she remembered something. Cohen, Summer called Seth "Cohen". Summer was the pretty brunette she... she... God, she couldn't remember the rest.

"Did you just remember something?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm...I'm, yeah. Nothing really important, just that your last name is Cohen."

"Very valuable information." Seth agreed, not really, but what else was he going to say? "Anyway, I think Ryan is the least of your worries."

"What do you mean?"

"Come on Taylor. You are a smart girl. Do you really think that Veronica would have told you that you and Ryan had broken up if she thought you'd remember that you didn't?"

It wasn't like she hadn't thought it before, but hearing him say it made it worse. If it were true, then her worst fear, that someone would use her condition to manipulate her, had come true. And it had been her own mother.

Seth went on. "And if she lied about Ryan, then there is no telling what else she lied about, right. We need to get you out of here and to Ryan--"

All of this was making her head hurt and spin again. "He's in the hospital." she reminded him.

"Then come to Julie's with me. Dad will fix--"

"I don't know you!" she scared herself with the fierceness in her voice, the hurt. It was the hurt that she hoped he didn't hear. She consciously toned herself down. "I mean, thank you, Seth, for the offer. But I can't. I need to figure things out for myself. Please... Please just leave me alone."

He didn't want to give in, but ultimately did with the stipulation that if she needed anything that she'd call. To prove how serious he was, he left Julie's home number, his Dad's cell number, his Mom's cell number, as well as Summer's, his, and with much trepidation, Ryan's cell and hospital number. The last thing Seth wanted was Ryan up and around, hurting himself coming to 'save' her, but he knew Ryan would kill him if he didn't. He valued life.

Taylor took the numbers and bid him a good night. She watched as finally, and thankfully, he left.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ryan tapped the up button on the remote rhythmically. Nothing was on that he cared about seeing, but he couldn't sleep. He kept thinking about Taylor, running things over and over in his mind. He wanted to figure out what was up with her, but he hadn't been able to put his finger on it. He hoped some mind numbing television would do the trick. Give him some perspective.

The channels just kept changing.

How to make a million dollars rubbing a blue dot

Proactive commercial with Jessica Simpson

Tony Little

The "I see dead people." movie.

The Valley on TSC (The Soap Channel)

He was about to click again when the storyline caught his eye. The blonde girl, he believed Seth said one time her name was April, was laying in the hospital with a bandage around her head (an unfortunate sex injury from what he could gather), but that's not what made him stop and watch. There was a man in the room with her, the one that they'd met in LA (the one that acted like Seth). Anyway, the girl was acting (poorly acting), like she recognized him, but the man knew. The man had figured it out. Dramatic music played as the camera showed a close-up of the man's mouth as he said, "Amnesia."

"Oh hell." Ryan sat up without thinking, winced while ripping the IV out of his arm, and started putting on the clothes he'd worn outside.

Amnesia.

The word hung in the air like a thick fog. Taylor had amnesia. It all made sense. He felt like the biggest idiot for not figuring it out before... for having the watch The Valley of all things to make it click in his head. But the how and the why didn't matter now. He had to get to her. To help her.

He successfully snuck passed Edna and the one other lady at the nurse's station. Once outside the hospital, he used his cell to call for a taxi. He impatiently paced around the parking lot, waiting for it to take him to Taylor's.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Taylor waited about 10 minutes after Seth left, just to make sure he'd really gone this time. Once she was certain, she turned the bedside light back on and climbed out of bed. She dressed in the clothes she'd worn home, packed a few things in a bag, and made her exit through her window like she had seen Seth do.

She couldn't stay there any more, not with everyone knowing more about her than she did, some even trying to take advantage of her. She couldn't stay and she didn't care where she went-- just as long as it was away from Newport Beach.