Chapter 7: Talking
The elevator doors dinged open quietly. Stepping out from between them, McGee felt himself swallow nervously. He knew he shouldn't be afraid—it was only Gibbs, after all—but he was. He was afraid that maybe it was better to just leave well enough alone. He was afraid he might say something wrong. He was afraid of possibly losing the respectful friendship he felt that he and his former boss had built over the past five years.
Scanning the squad room tentatively, he was dismayed, and not at all surprised, to find Gibbs already there, seemingly immersed with some papers on his desk and looking for all the world as if it were just a completely normal day and his team would be walking in at any minute. Only they wouldn't, McGee knew, and he knew that Gibbs knew that too.
Though his confidence was just about ready to give out on him, McGee pictured Abby's tear-stained face and took a deep breath before walking purposefully into the squad room.
Gibbs looked up as he entered the square of desks and McGee could have sworn he gave him a small, apologetic smile before turning back to his papers. Leaning slightly, McGee could see that the open folders spread out over the desktop contained the files of the three new employees. He felt a deep sadness threaten to overwhelm him. Tamping it down, he went over to stand in front of Gibbs' desk, clearing his throat gently to get the older man's attention.
Gibbs looked up after a moment.
"What is it McGee?" he asked quietly.
McGee tried not to squirm as he phrased his response carefully.
"Ah, well, you see Boss, um…well, Abby, you know, she's kinda, uh, worried about you. You know, with what happened yesterday and all and, uh, she just wanted me to ask if you were all right. And…yeah."
Somehow the words had sounded better in his head than they did when they actually came out.
"Abby. Is worried," Gibbs repeated slowly.
McGee could only nod wordlessly as he felt his palms begin to sweat.
Just as Gibbs opened his mouth, he began again. "And, well, I'm kinda worried Boss, and I know that Tony and Ziva are too and you didn't even say anything yesterday and…" he trailed off, suddenly embarrassed.
Gibbs, evidently shied away from whatever he'd been about to say before, tilted his head slightly and looked McGee straight in the eyes from behind his reading glasses.
"I know," was all he said before turning back to his papers.
McGee sighed, deep and long.
"But, Gibbs, what about Tony and Ziva? I mean, they're probably already gone by now and…"
"I didn't forget McGee," Gibbs said simply, "And I don't intend to. Right now I just need some space to figure things out. Don't worry. They'll be back."
With that he pinned his eyes firmly to his papers and refused to look at his once-Probie again.
Oddly, though, McGee felt relieved as he walked to his old desk and began throwing random folders into a box. Though Gibbs hadn't said much and he hadn't really even mentioned the reason why he'd left so abruptly and somewhat mysteriously the day before, McGee got the feeling that the man knew exactly what he was doing, and that was reassuring. Though it hadn't exactly been the type of "caring" conversation Abby would have approved of, for McGee, it was enough.
oOo
Gibbs walked slowly to the parking garage at a decent hour that night. For once, he'd had no mile-high stack of paperwork to keep him at his desk until well past midnight—by 6:00 he'd been bored. All that he had now were three folders. He couldn't stop the resigned sigh that left his lips as he thought about them. They were still sitting on his desk.
McGee had left a little over an hour ago, after dawdling all day at his desk. He could have easily finished his packing and left long before noon, but instead he had stayed, puttering about and pretending to work on his computer, for which Gibbs was grateful. It had been easy to pretend that Tony and Ziva were only away hunting down suspects with McGee there.
He smiled as he thought of his Probie. McGee really was a good kid. 'Damn good agent, too,' his mind told him angrily. It really wasn't fair to stick him behind a desk permanently. He deserved better than that. They all did.
The new team didn't seem as well rounded as Tony, Ziva, and McGee; though Gibbs had never met them in person, he could tell from their descriptions. Sure, they were all hard-workers with plenty of experience and several important awards and promotions to prove it, but they had nothing that made them stand out, no…sparkle.
He remembered fondly the day that he'd decided to hire Tony. The kid's file had said that he'd never stayed at one job for longer than two years and he'd had a track record longer than Gibbs' list of enemies, but he'd had that sparkle, even on paper. That…something…that had made Gibbs want to know more, to find the potential he knew was hiding. These three agents had no such thing.
As he reached for the handle of his car, Gibbs' hand brushed up against something unfamiliar. Instantly on guard, he cautiously reached for the thing tucked against the handle and the door. Drawing it into the light of one of the huge, low-wattage bulbs that lit up the garage, he saw that it was a nameplate.
No, not just a nameplate. Her nameplate. The plaque that had hung above her office door declaring her the Director of NCIS. Gibbs hadn't wanted to walk up those stairs and face that door knowing that he couldn't just barge in as he had been doing for the past three years, so he hadn't even noticed that Vance had already replaced Jenny's name with his own.
'Damn bastard's moving in already,' Gibbs spat. Frustrated, he absently rubbed his thumb lightly over the gold-engraved letters, tracing her name over and over.
NCIS Director Jennifer Shepard.
Then, his fingers touched something odd on the back of the plaque. Turning it over, he peeled away the tape holding a single folded piece of paper to the back of the nameplate.
"She would have wanted you to have it," was all that it said.
Staring down at Cynthia's loopy handwriting, Gibbs felt his lips quirk up. Somebody would be receiving one extra large cup of Starbucks' finest on Monday morning.