"Guilty as Charged"
Alan pulled into the driveway, smiling as he noticed Don's SUV and Charlie's Prius were there ahead of him. His meeting had lasted longer than expected, and he hadn't had a chance to start supper. Charlie was starting to take more responsibility around the house, so Alan was reasonably sure supper would be waiting when he walked in the door.
Don and Charlie were just finishing setting the table and both looked up when the door opened. They were both grinning like Cheshire cats, and Alan had to stop and think. It wasn't his birthday. It wasn't Father's Day. It wasn't either boy's birthday. So obviously they were up to something. He put his briefcase down, took off his jacket and gave them what he hoped was his most piercing gaze. "What are you two up to?"
Don suppressed a grin. Charlie wasn't quite as successful and had to turn to straighten a perfectly straight napkin. When he had composed himself, Charlie turned back. "Dad, we need to have a talk. Supper will be a few minutes yet, so why don't we have a seat in the living room?"
Dumbfounded, Alan followed his sons into the living room. They sat side by side on the couch, and Don indicated the chair across from the couch. "Have a seat, Dad."
Alan had a feeling that this was how criminals felt when Donnie interrogated them. But he sat and waited.
Don picked up a paper bag from the floor and placed it on the coffee table. "Dad, is this yours?" He pulled a bong from the bag and set it on the table.
Alan saw his life flashing before his eyes. He wondered if Margaret had been wrong thirty some odd years ago when she said possession of a bong was not a crime. He forced himself to meet Don's eyes. "Yes."
Don picked up the bong, opened it, and sniffed deeply. "This is not tobacco I'm smelling."
"No, Donnie, it is not."
"Where did you get this?"
"I made it. Back in college."
"And you clearly possessed marijuana at that time."
Alan shrugged. "Guilty as charged." He held out his hands, wrists together. "You wanna cuff me, G-Man?"
Don laughed. "Nah. I think the statute of limitations has expired on this one. Charlie was digging through some boxes in the basement and came across this bong."
"Yeah," Charlie said, grinning broadly. "I probably shouldn't have admitted to Don that I recognized it immediately."
Don scowled at his brother. "Great. I'm surrounded by potheads." He grinned at his father. "Anyway, Dad, we both decided that there must be a very interesting story behind this particular family heirloom. I brought over a couple of six packs of your favorite beer, and told my team that under no circumstances am I to be interrupted."
Don and Charlie leaned back, arms folded across their chests. "So, Father," Charlie said, "now that you've pleaded guilty as charged, we'll need to take your statement. Start at the beginning. Exactly when did you embark on this life of crime?"