I DO NOT OWN OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUS OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS!!

ENJOY!

CUE THEME SONG: MAYBE YOU'RE IN LOVE (luv this song!)

Scheme # 1

"Heh this punk will so fall for it," snickered Hikaru.

"He won't be so popular now," Kaoru snickered back.

The two twins were talking over about their diabolical plan they just commenced. The plan was that the twins put a special kind of super ultra rubbery glue on one of the cakes, instead of white vanilla frosting, on a fine China dish Nao was sitting at with his designators.

"His mouth will be smothered in glue and those girls won't even understand a word he says. Without his catchy sayings he won't be able to make a sound except him mumbling some mumbo jumbo. Now all that he has are his good looks," claimed Kaoru.

"Just wait until part two is put into motion," replied Hikaru. "He'll wish he never entered this club. As well as being the most embarrassed Host member here."

The twins peered over they're shoulder every so often to check if Nao has eaten the cake yet. Nao was actually having a comfortable conversation for once. "Hey I think I'm getting used to this garbage. Soon it'll be all over. Like waking up from a nightmare." Nao thought.

One of the girls who sat besides Nao offered him a slice of cake, the slice covered in the tacky glue. Right before Nao was going to accept the cake, out popped Honey who was leaning over the chair Nao was sitting in.

"Hiya Nao-chan!" he shouted excitedly. "Oooo I like that piece of cake! Can I have it?

Nao opened his mouth to protest but before he could answer Honey immediately stuck his fork into the cake and stuffed the whole slice into his tiny mouth.

"What?! Nooo!!" the twins exclaimed with their mouths wide open in shock. "What the hell does he think he's doing?" they muttered to themselves. "Damn it now we need to go to plan 2."

While they lowered their voices and thought out the new plan, poor Honey was so confused he started crying and screaming why he wasn't able to talk.

"Mamashmi! Mamashmi!" he cried. "Mat mas mim mis mamke? Mamashmi melpm me!" (translation: Takashi! Takashi! What was in this cake? Takashi help me!")

Scheme # 2

"Alright this plan is definitely going to work!" asserted Hikaru.

"Yeah this plan has no option of failing!" said Kaoru agreeing.

This time they intended to put cod liver oil, 3 months spoiled milk, and a dash of garlic in Nao's drink container. Every lunch Nao would bring his own container filled with a light yet tasty peach juice. The two evil twins easily stole Nao thermos from his locker and mixed all the bad smelling ingredients into it then placed it back in his locker. Now they impatiently watched Nao take out his thermos and bring it with him down to the cafeteria, where he usually bought his own lunch.

Nao took a seat separated from the rest of the Host members and peacefully ate his lunch alone. The Hikaru and Kaoru eagerly watched him as he munched down on some caviar and prime ribbed steak.

"Jeez this guy sure likes to take his time on things," Hikaru complained.

"Hmm doesn't he ever get thirsty?" said Kaoru irritably.

Finally after an endless time of waiting Nao grabbed hold of the container and poured the juice into a cup, unaware of the bad smelling ingredients that were mixed in. The twins' eyes widened. Nothing could disrupt their prank this time. But unexpectedly in walked Honey along with Mori.

"What do you want?" Nao scoffed. "Didn't you just come out of the nurse's office?"

"Yeah…" he answered tiredly. "The nice nurse said that I shouldn't be eating paste anymore. But I wasn't. Someone put that nasty stuff in it. I just know it. I need something to wash away this bad taste in my mouth. Nao-chan can I have some of that sweet juice you always carry?"

"I…errr…uhh fine. Sure," said Nao effortlessly giving in to the small child's wish. He handed over the cup to Honey and he took one huge sip from it. Instantly Honey spat out the juice.

"Waaahhh!" he yelled. "That tastes awful! What is in it?" Then he burst into more tears as Mori tried to comfort him.

"Huh? It's just peach juice. I don't see anything wrong with it." Nao brought the cup up to his nose and took a short whiff of the smell. Then he quickly shot it down. "That is awful!" he coughed. "It smells like cod liver oil mixed with dirty socks!"

"Damn it!" the twins said together. "Another plan foiled."

Scheme # 3

"Yes, the old rubber spider trick," declared Kaoru.

"If this doesn't work then I guess we'll just give up," said Hikaru.

"But Hikaru do you think he'll really fall for it?"

"Only if we're lucky. This is out last prank prop item for today."

Kaoru was holding a fishing pole with a fake rubber spider at the end of its line. They were standing above the school's balcony once again waiting for Nao to appear. Some time later Nao came into view and was standing beneath the balcony. He was carrying a couple of his textbooks by his side and didn't seem to notice the toy spider, yet.

Kaoru wound down the toy and made it land on Nao's head. Nao felt a lightweight object rest on his head. He set his hand on his head as his fingers were fumbling around, trying to figure out what it was. Just when he thought that a spider had nested in his own hair he screamed like a terrified girl.

Above the twins cracked up laughing so much tears were falling from their faces. As for Nao he dropped his books and began running in circles. Though he stopped when he slammed into a large marble pillar and knocked himself out.

Numerous girls encircled around him asking if he was okay. Without a response they knew he was unconscious. The twins paid no heed to him and continued to laugh. From the crowd Mori had made is way through the rambling girls. He picked him up and carried him to the nurse's office.

"I…I… can't believe… he actually … a real spider... how he screamed!" Hikaru choked at his words. He was laughing so hard he couldn't even bring out complete sentences.

"Yeah!" exclaimed Kaoru. Soon enough he calmed down a bit. "But isn't it kind of odd for a guy to be afraid of spiders?"

"Hmmm," the two twins pondered together.

-2 light bulbs light up-

In the Nurse's Office

"Thank you for bringing him here," said one of the school's nurses.

"It was no trouble at all," Mori replied.

"Hmmm I'll need to examine and made sure there is no damage." She began checking his pulse and heart beat. "Oh dear…" she whispered in alarm.

Mori moved in closer but didn't say anything.

"I'm sorry. Just go on with your daily routine. You shouldn't be here."

"Hmm?"

"Don't you hmm me! Or else I'll protest to the principal of the school having a pervert here. That would not be good for the school's reputation. Please leave now!"

He didn't exactly mind leaving so he leisurely walked towards the door and left. As he closed the door behind him it was then he thought he knew why she told him to leave.

-A light bulb lights up-

In the Music Room

"Is it true?" asked Tamaki who was sitting in his usual chair with the other members, including Mori, surrounding him. They weren't open yet. They were waiting for the new missing Host.

"Is what true, your highness?" said the twins.

"That our little newbie has crashed into the school's pillar?"

"Yes sir! The rest of the students think he's just a crazed psycho path."

"False information," brought up Kyouya. "You two know that you shouldn't lie to his majesty. These two idiots tricked Nao into one of their natural pranks." He pointed out.

"Tsk, tsk. Shame on the both of you," said Tamaki.

"You guys shouldn't do that! So he's a new student here with an attitude problem but that doesn't make him any different from us. Apologize right when he gets back from infirmary," disputed Haruhi.

"Fine whatever," they sighed.

Out of the blue in walked Nao. He staggered into the room looking rather dizzy and worn-out.

"Well speak of the devil," Hikaru whispered.

"Be nice!" Haruhi directed and gave them a sharp glance. "Are you alright?" she said moving up closer to him. She tried to offer him support but he gently pushed her away from him.

"I don't need your help," he muttered under his breath.

"What's wrong?"

"That damn nurse made my drink some crappy medicine and gave me some freakin pills that are supposed to help me sleep. I'm fine."

"But from that collision…"

She was cut off by Nao stating that he was fine. "I need to pay off this damn debt. The sooner the better." At the instant he collapsed on the floor.

"Nao!" screeched Haruhi. The other members came over and collected him and laid him gently on the couch.

Everyone was worried, especially Haurhi. Though the twins didn't care as much. Eventually Nao woke up, wearily.

"Damn it, why the hell are all you bastards gathered around me?" he mumbled.

"Well that's a pleasant way to act to the guys who tried to help you!" said Hikaru.

"Be quiet! You're not helping him now!" Haruhi maintained.

"Hmph. He started it."

"Are you alright Nao?" she asked him.

"Shut up!" he replied harshly. He sat up and glared at everyone who was staring back at him. "Get away from me!"

"Nao we just want to know if you're alright."

"I'm fine, now go away!" he brought his knees up to his face and buried his face in his hands.

"Nao…"

"Damn it, stop calling me that! I can't stand it! I hate my name! I just hate it!"

"Why? I do not understand. In my perspective I must admit that Nao is in fact a beautiful name," complimented Kyouya. "It means honesty am I right?"

"That's just it…my name…it doesn't… suit me," Nao stammered.

"What do you mean?" ask Tamaki.

"Just what I thought," affirmed Kyouya.

"Huh?" Tamaki faced Kyouya. "What are you talking about?"

"Nao, in real life, is actually another female," he informed.

"WHAAAAT!" shouted Tamaki. "Don't tell me I've mistaken another female student as a teenage male!" He freaked out. "Did anyone else know about this?" he questioned the group of Hosts. Everyone gave an assuring nod even Haruhi.

"Don't underestimate people's physical looks. You can't hide from the truth, you too Nao."

"I know," responded Nao. SHE removed her hands from her face and looked directly up at Tamaki. "Ha now that you found out don't think I'm gonna change my ways towards you bastards."

The reasons for the light bulbs is because in the first episode everytime a light bulb lit up it meant that each of the Host members had an idea that Haruhi was a girl. So I decided to do the same for Nao, who still has many secrets about herself.

Kyouya- he found out Nao was a girl was when he grasped onto Nao's wrist. He could feel that her wrist was smooth and she must have used lotion or cream on her hands. Besides mostly girls use hand cream.

Honey- when Nao was acting like such a big meanie she couldn't stand to see younger children cry. Girls show some compassion to smaller kids. Well they do in my school, not in the whole world do but...you know.

Hikaru and Kaoru- most girls are afraid of spiders and thats all I'm gonna say.

Mori- you know how girl check ups work, well I mean girls know how girl check ups work while at the doctor's

Haruhi- she always knew Nao was a girl, she just didn't want to expose the truth until Nao wanted to

Tamaki- he's just way too oblivious to these things

Renge- same as Tamaki