Angela is amused.

"Word around these parts is you've tamed yourself an immortal," said Angela, not looking up from the bowl she was stirring. She tossed a mushroom into the mix and the goopy concoction turned a ghostly purple.

"I- pardon me?" asked Nasuada from across the tent. She had been looking from plant to plant trying to discern how many were poisonous, and Angela's statement took her aback completely.

"It's not a problem, you'll just have to find a way to become immortal yourself." She leaned forward, "This isn't as hard as you think, trust me. I'm older than I look."

Angela leaned back in her chair and stuck a finger into the bowl to taste the mess inside. She grimaced and spat on the floor before she continued, "I wouldn't bother trying to hide it anymore. After all, love is love, no matter what form it takes. Once I knew a man who was smitten with a cow. Loved her like the desert loves rain." Angela smiled, "She was a beautiful cow."

Mouth slightly open, Nasuada began, "I don't-"

The witch cut her off, "I've never seen Arya looking more peachy."

A blush spread to Nasuada's cheeks, "We're just-"

"Lying will get you nowhere, Elf-catcher," Angela grinned. She tossed what looked like salt into her bowl and shoved it underneath Nasuada's nose. "Try this."

Leaning as far away as possible from the grey goo, Nasuada asked, "Do you even hear yourself?"

Angela shook her head, "Just try it."

Cautiously sticking in her finger, she lifted the frightening blend to her mouth. Her eyes widened, "It tastes like chocolate." She stuck her finger back in for more, "It's good!"

"Of course it's good!" The herbalist bounded around her tent, picking leaves here and there to stir in the bowl. "It also contains about thirteen different poisons that negate each other."

Nasuada blanched. Her voice rose, "You poisoned me?"

"Tsk, tsk," said Angela. "You weren't listening. It's not poisonous anymore. In fact, I'm thinking of baking a cake using it as batter. I could call it 'Death by Chocolate.'"

Rubbing her forehead, Nasuada did her best not to think about her latest near-death experience. Solembum the were-cat padded into her view.

"So how long have you to been in cahoots with our darling elf?"

"Angela, please don't let us become the gossip of the camp. Neither one of us needs that pressure right now, nor will I let hearsay ruin Arya's reputation," said Nasuada heatedly.

"Pffft. There's nothing to worry about." The large were-cat pressed himself to her feet while he stared at the girl in the chair. She maneuvered around him to say, "I would bet money that people would care more about the fact that I'm screwing the Varden's most powerful spellcaster."

A lump formed in Nasuada's throat, "Eragon?"

"Hah," laughed Angela. "Oh, ho ho. Not at all. But guess again, it's terribly funny."

The Varden leader pictured the handsome blue-furred elf, Blödhgarm, who smelled so delectable to women.

"Blödhgarm?"

The witch paused to think about this suggestion. "I hadn't really considered that, but no, not him either."

Nasuada rolled her eyes, "Then it really isn't such a scandal. I can't think of a single other spell-"

"Try Trianna."

And with that, Angela swept out of her tent with Solembum on her heels and the poisonous cake batter in her hands.

In the silent room, Nasuada could only laugh and agree with the curly-haired witch: that was very juicy gossip. She could hardly wait to tell Arya.

XXXXX

A/N: Lolz. I'm baiting you with a new ship. Tell me how you feel about it.