A/N: Movin' right along

Enjoy~

There were many words that Eric Cartman could use to describe himself: Charismatic, charming, manipulative, and and overall brilliant strategist when it came right down to it. At the tender age of 22, he was already well on his way of moving up the economic ladder of the piss poor town of South Park. He had plenty stashed away between his job as the manager of the local architect firm that he'd been able to snag out from under the old owner's nose in a matter of months. He also had plenty of pet projects stashed underneath his belt; drug deals and buying teenagers liquor and smokes with compound interest payments really wasn't something that was hard for someone like him to manage. He had plenty enough to up and move out of his mother's house, but had opted to stay behind with her to help her with her own bills and be able to keep a tighter hold on his assets until she was off and well on her own again.

She considered it nothing more than her little 'poopsy-kins' caring for her so much that he couldn't bare to leave her. Perhaps there was some truth in that, but Cartman always knew that his house was where everything went well enough on their own. He could easily avoid any suspicion of his little projects from his mother, and with no one else living in the vicinity and the police constantly under her whorish thumb, he had little to worry about.

He knew just what he was doing, and he couldn't help but relish in his abilities. It especially helped that he was so much better off than anyone else they'd gone to school with over the years. The only one possibly doing better was Token, and that was due to nothing more than his parents emptying their wallets for him. That wasn't how Cartman operated. He liked to get his money on his own terms. He'd take hand-outs for sure, but there was nothing quite so satisfying as watching someone hand over their hard earned money for something that he devised. It was absolutely intoxicating.

"Poopsy-kins!" his mother called from down the stairs.

"What?" he shot back, not so much as glancing from his computer screen filled with inventory notes for his business. Even on a Sunday it was nothing but business for him, and he loved it.

"Your little friends are here to see you, Sweetie!"

He cocked his brow, glancing down at the time on his screen. It was only nine a.m. Stan, Kyle, and Kenny never came to see him before noon, if at all anymore. Stan was always busy with his shitty job as a bartender and Kyle and Ken were doing whatever the fuck it was they always did. He couldn't help but smirk a bit. They needed him for something. This was going to be fun, he could just tell.

"Send 'em up!" he yelled back, minimizing his notes and beginning to pack away his ledger and pens neatly on his desk. He heard the three of them tromping up the stairs, noticing that each step was very slow and cautious.

They really needed him for something. Fantastic.

The door opened and he turned his desk chair around, watching as the three of them piled in his room, each one of them looking utterly exhausted with dulled eyes. "Wellllll if it isn't Kahl, Stan, and Kinny," he smirked, leaning back and folding his hands on top of each other. His eyes focused on a dark shiner resting on the crest of Kyle's brow and couldn't help but raise his own in a giddy curiosity. "Just what can I do for you?"

Stan sighed and shut the door behind them, all three of them moving to sit on Cartman's bed. "Cartman," he said softly, his eyes flickering to Kyle and Kenny, Eric noticed, "We need a loan."

He scoffed a bit and broke out in a soft chuckle, "Oh do you? And just what is it you need it for?"

Kenny bit his lip, glancing at Kyle, and Cartman's stomach couldn't help but flitter in excitement. It was all for Kyle. He'd fucked something up. It was almost too much of a victory for the heavyweight to not just start dancing right then and there. "Cartman, it's not important what it's for," Ken said tiredly. "We need six hundred dollars and we need it before seven tonight."

He cocked his head, "And just what happens at seven tonight?"

"It doesn't matter," he bit coldly. "Will you loan us it or not?"

He shifted a bit in his chair and bounced his leg, staring at the three of them, his deep amber eyes lingering on the redhead who was blushing madly and looking down at his carpet with a deep anger on his face. "Do you know how I got all the money I have, Kinny? By not letting people fuck around with me," he cocked his brow. "I don't make deals without knowing exactly what it is I'm getting myself into."

"You sell fucking drugs, Cartman," Stan said irritably. "You do enough shit that involves you not knowing everything that happens, so don't give us that."

He chortled, "You think I don't handle that shit myself?" he asked. "I make all the deals, Stan. I don't have any middleman. That way all the profits are mine and mine alone. Now, I want you to tell me exactly what it is this money is for and then I will consider writing you a check. Six hundred dollars is an awful lot to just give out for no reason, you know."

Kyle's eyes finally rose and met that of the heavyweights and Cartman's chest twinged in anticipation. The redhead looked like he was on the brink of tears, a face that the brunette hadn't seen on him in quite some time. "Cartman," he breathed out slowly. "You know that I wouldn't be here asking you for money if it wasn't important. My pride is fucking dying right now," he let out a heavy, saddened sigh, looking back up at him exhaustively. "I really need it or I'm going to be in a lot of trouble."

The grin that broke over Cartman's face was enough to send the three on the bed recoiling back a bit. It was devious and smart, a hint of sadism lingering on the thin, pale lips. He laughed lowly, "Oh, so...it's about you being a whore, is it, Kahl?" he looked at him with a glint in his eyes. Kyle's shoulders fell and his lip trembled a bit, his already-pasty skin blanching over as his green eyes focused squarely into his.

"How...how did..."

"Some of your customers are also mine," he smirked. "Heard a lot about you through the grapevine, Kahl."

"Jesus fucking Christ," Kenny muttered, slamming his face into his palms and shaking his head.

"Told me alllll about you they did," he continued taunting, watching Kyle's form sinking slowly as Stan's hand fell onto his shoulder, rubbing it comfortably. "Didn't believe it at first. Told me about how they fucked this 'cute' little redhead with a blonde boyfriend watching to make sure nothin' happened to him," he smirked. He glanced over at Kenny who raised his head a bit, "From that shiner that Kahl's sporting, it seems like you didn't do a very good job."

The blonde growled, moving to get off the bed and lunge towards him before Kyle grabbed his arm and pulled him back down. "Kenny, don't," he said sharply. "We need the fucking money and we won't get it if you knock his lights out."

"Very smart," Cartman snorted.

Kenny snarled and clasped an arm around Kyle's waist, pulling him in protectively. "Will you give us the money or not, Cartman?"

He looked between the three of them before settling back on Kyle. "Not until I hear the whole story of why you owe someone so much money."

"Cartman..." Stan growled.

"No," Kyle interjected quietly, patting Stan's leg a bit. "He's right. I'd want to know, too..." he looked up at the victory dancing in Cartman's eyes and shuddered a bit. "We filmed a video, Cartman. We put it on a site for some money and the others involved in it want their cut even though we won't have the profits until next month. They gave us until tonight to get it to them..." he trailed off, looking out the window and grating his lip.

"And what happens if you don't comply with them?"

He took a frustrated breath through his nose, refusing to meet his eyes, "They're going to find me and hurt me."

"Ah, you'll get raped is what you're saying," Cartman chuckled as Kyle flinched uncomfortably, getting to his feet and pacing back and forth in front of the bed, looking up at the ceiling thoughtfully. "And you can't go to the cops because they'll find your prostitution ring, is that right?"

"Yes," he spat bitterly, leaning against Kenny who rubbed his hip comfortingly.

Stan looked between the two of them and hated every ounce of what was playing out in front of him. He knew that Kyle had to hate it even more, though. There were few things that Kyle couldn't stand: Bananas, seeing his friends hurt, bigotry, and most of all, appearing vulnerable to Eric fucking Cartman. The boy could practically feel Kyle's ego dissipating into the vast space of the crowded room. He looked up to still see Cartman pacing, his stomach settling uncomfortably as he noticed a grin playing on his face still. It wasn't his usual relishing smile, it was his planning one. The one where he was going to use every power he had to get what he wanted. It never ended well for Kyle and Stan knew well enough that this situation called for the worst of all possible scenarios.

"Well just what do you plan to do for me if I give you all this money, Kahl?" he looked over at him, stopping his pacing and crossing his arms, standing in front of the redhead.

Kyle looked up at him and took a deep breath. "What do you want?"

He chuckled lowly, "Not even going to offer just to pay it back with interest?"

"I know that's a waste of my time," Kyle glared. "I know you well enough that you already know what it is you want from me, so what the fuck is it?!"

He nodded a bit, his lips crooked and amusement playing on his flabby features. He was loving every bit of this power. It was easy enough to play the financial game, but putting his rival in his place was a powerful victory that he just didn't get to fiddle with often enough. "Six months, one for every one hundred dollars." He said flatly.

They all three raised their brows, "Six months of what?" Kenny questioned lowly.

His lips parted, a dark grin passing over his face. "Six months of Kahl working for me."

"What, like at your firm or something?" Stan blinked.

He shook his head and scoffed a bit, "Like I'd let the Jew anywhere near my clean business. No, no, he'll be working the streets for me."

The three of them stared at him with their jaws dropped. Kyle began quaking violently between rage and fear, "Y-you want me to be your whore?!"

He nodded, leaning back up from them and beginning to pace again. "I think that it's going to be a fair trade all around, Kahl." He looked over to see the three of them still in stunned silence and grinned smugly. "You see, my little drug connections are pretty diverse," he explained. "I can make you into the most wanted 'escort' in all of the little fag community that I'm involved in."

"Kyle is NOT going to be a fucking whore!" Kenny spat.

"Too late for that," he snorted. He watched Kyle's burning face fall with an amused smirk. "Besides, the way I figure it, you have three choices, Kahl: Either you stick with me and stay protected from this shit happening again, you go find someone desperate enough to stick their dick up your ass right now for six hundred dollars, or you let that little threat of your come to fruition. What'll it be?"

Kyle blinked at him slowly, his mouth fumbling a bit in the midst of his loss, "I...Protected how?" he barely whispered.

Stan and Kenny shot their heads over at him, "What are you doing?" Stan hissed. "Don't give him the option!"

Kyle looked at him with heavy eyes and Stan could feel his heart sinking at the sight of them. He hated seeing Kyle merely have a bad day, seeing this bullshit just took the cake. "Stan...what else can I do?" his voice cracked a bit. "I got fucking tied up and mugged last night...and I'm not getting out of this until either Ken or I finds a job..."

"Exactly," Cartman cut in. "Now," he sat back in his chair, wheeling it up in front of them. He leaned down and clasped his hands between his legs, looking up at Kyle amusedly. "You know me well enough, Kahl. You know that I know exactly how to play any field that I set myself up in. And I've been waiting for the opportunity to start my own little prostitution ring, and you seem like the perfect candidate to start with."

Kyle glared at him a bit, his cheeks burning fiercely. "Protected. How?" he repeated, a bitter taste on his tongue as he did so.

The brunette gestured to Kenny and Stan, "Well, these two of course. They will be enlisted as your bodyguards. Every customer that you have will go through myself before so much as talking to you, and you know I know how to get the dirt on anyone. I'll even let Kinny be with me to pass people through the velvet ropes if he wants."

Stan groaned, rubbing the bridge of his nose tiredly, "Cartman I have a job, I can't-"

"When you can't, Kinny will," Cartman interjected. "And I know that Kinny will feel better if his job is to protect the Jew, isn't that right, Poor Boy?"

Kenny took a deep angry breath through his nose, staring at the boy with such ferocious intensity that Kyle's comforting hand rubbing his back couldn't even be felt. They were running out of options and quick, but the mere idea of letting Cartman hold the reins over something like this for Kyle was almost too much for him.

"And, I'll even sweeten the pot," Cartman grinned, leaning back and watching their eyes widen a bit in curiosity. "Should Kahl be compliant as I instruct him to be, I will pay your two's rent," he gestured between the blonde and redhead.

"W-why would you do that?" Kyle raised his brow.

He chuckled, "Because, I don't want my whore to be worried about finances. And I'm not stupid, after the six months is over, you'll be far done with the business. And I figure then you can save up for school, which is what you want, riiiight?" he smirked. He had absolutely no fucks to give about the money, but the more he could get them to their side, the easier it would be to get Kyle to cave. The idea of him working under Cartman in such circumstances was like his dream come true, he'd be willing to sell his own mother if it got him what he wanted.

Kenny's brows furrowed and he looked around the room, desperate for something to say. What Cartman was offering was too good to be true, even considering the horrible position it put Kyle in. "What...what exactly is it that you would have Kyle be doing?" he squeezed the redhead's leg.

He shrugged, "He would be an escort for lack of better terms. Drinking with men, socializing, seducing them, and fucking them. Nothing too complicated. Occasionally I'll give him specific clubs or parties to go to but mostly it'll just be simple business. But we'll make a shit ton of money off of you," his eyes glistened.

"I don't make that much, Cartman," Kyle muttered tiredly.

"You will with me," he cocked a brow. "I know exactly where some little scrawny piece of shit like you will be practically auctioned off. I could probably get $1000 off of you if I talk you up enough, which you know I can."

"I-I don't think that you can," he shook his head slowly.

He scoffed and rolled his eyes, "Do you not know me at all, Kahl? I've convinced the fucking masses to get behind shit they never would have before. You think I can't convince some horny faggot to pay a lot to fuck your scrawny Jew ass?" Kyle was silent so he pushed forward, "I'm offering you 60% of whatever the payment is. I'll collect the money beforehand, you'll do your work, and that'll be it. You'll walk out of there with money that you can use for whatever you want. Not bills, not anything like that. It'll be petty cash to you," he grinned.

"What about the police, Cartman?" Stan asked quietly. "Kyle's been sneaking around doing this. If you parade him around, he could go to jail pretty quickly."

He shook his head, "Ah, you'd think so, but no. The cops around here? Fucking idiots, you all know that." The three of them nodded subtly and he continued, "I have dirt on every single officer should one of them try to actually do their job. Hell, most of them are part of my drug ring," he shrugged. "And I know of one officer that'd love to get into bed with someone like you, Jew."

"Goody for me," he mumbled.

"Besides, the way we'll have it set up, they'll be paying for Kahl's 'companionship'," he air quoted. "They're paying for dinner or drinks or a nice chat. He's having sex with them for free," he smirked.

Kyle looked at him suspiciously, "I'm uncomfortable with how nonchalantly you're talking about me having sex with people."

He shrugged, "Business is all this is, Kahl. I don't give a fuck how it gets done, but as long as I get the money I work for, everything is golden."

"And just how long have you been waiting to do this to Kyle?" Kenny drawled, squeezing Kyle's leg impossibly hard and making the boy wince. "Just how fucking long, Cartman?"

"Since I found the first video," he smirked. Kyle's face reddened again and he laughed. "Oh this was forever ago. I was practicing digging up dirt on the old owner of my firm, used you three as practice," he shrugged. "Learned that Kinny was in jail in Tennessee for about a month for cocaine charges last year."

The blonde blushed and Kyle looked up at him with narrowed eyes. "Excuse me?"

He cringed and rubbed his hand through his hair, "Remember that month I was road-tripping with Kev? A-and I called and told you after a few days that I wouldn't be able to call you again because we'd be out in the boonies?" he asked quietly.

"You lied to me?! You fucking decided to use goddamn crack and fucking lied to me about it?!" he screeched.

"I wasn't doin' it," he insisted, grabbing Kyle's hands. "Dude, I was trying to sell it to get us some money for the bills a-and I got caught and..." he bit his lip. "I'm sorry," he said softly. "I'm really really sorry. It was after I lost my old job at the store and you were makin' all the money and I felt bad and..." he trailed off. Kyle looked at him, his fury melting into a sympathetic pout. Stan couldn't help but watch it in wonder. If he himself had done some shit like that, Kyle would never have let up on him. Kyle sighed, leaning forward and wrapping his arms around the blonde.

"It's okay," he whispered. "I guess neither of us is going to be winning the Nobel Prize anytime soon." Kenny just sniffled, clasping his arms back around him and holding him tightly against him.

Cartman snorted a bit and looked over at Stan with an amused smile. "Learned that you're a raging homo yourself, Marsh."

Stan just shrugged, "Yeah, I am what I am. How the fuck did you find out though?"

"Hacked in, found some emails between you and Tucker," he chuckled. "Dirty shit between you two, I'll tell ya."

Kyle looked at him in disgust. "Really? Craig? I mean Jesus I knew you liked dudes but that's just too far, Man."

He just shrugged again, forcing an awkward chuckle out, "Hey, if you and Ken are together then you have absolutely no room to judge me for my bad tastes." He laughed again as Kenny reached over and smacked his head.

Cartman looked over at the redhead and shook his head a bit, "Gotta tell ya, Jew, with what I found on you and what I've heard on the streets, you're a hell of a whore."

"Was that a compliment?" he asked dryly.

He shrugged, "Take it or leave it. But we can put your skills to good use and all four of us can walk out of this with a good amount of money. So...what'll it be, Kahl?"

Kyle looked at Stan who gave the bare minimum of a supportive smile. He hated this. They all three hated this. But there was so little that any of them could do at that point, they would just have to concede. Green, glassy eyes flickered over to Kenny's who looked at him with worry etched all over his features. "I-it's up to you, Kyle," he said softly, leaning forward and kissing his forehead. "You know how I feel."

He sighed and looked over at Cartman tiredly, his mind racing and screaming at him that this whole thing was a bad idea...but he knew exactly how this would all end for him if he didn't cooperate. "I want the six hundred up front in cash. And I don't want to contractually obligate myself to all six months right away. I'll do two months as a trial run, and, if I or Stan or Kenny aren't hurt, I'll continue with the last four with no arguments. And...if I find a job, a real job, then I am out automatically. I will pay you back with interest for what you pay us today."

Cartman nodded, looking at him with a sardonic grin, "I find these terms acceptable." He outstretched his hand and Kyle took it back shakily, letting Cartman dictate the strength of the handshake. "Though trust me," he chuckled. "That 'real' job that you're pining for? You won't so much as think about taking it once you see just how much money we're raking in."

He rolled his eyes and took his hand back, "I highly doubt that."

He smirked, "Now that your duties include being compliant with myself, I'm going to give you your first job." Kyle growled and tensed a bit and he laughed lowly, his amber eyes gleaming deviously in the morning light, "Trust me. You'll love this one."

A/N: Who the fuck doesn't like Pimp Cartman I mean seriously.

Probably all of you but eh I'm having fun.

Thanks for R&Ring!