9. Most Illogical

"Kirk to Spock."

"Spock here."

"Mr. Spock, we're approaching Vulcan airspace. I thought you might want to be on the Bridge for this."

"Acknowledged." He got up from his desk, where he had gazed for some time at a photo of a young girl, perhaps eight years old, with a hairstyle he recalled his mother calling "totally inappropriate for a child."

T'Pring.

He flipped through other images of her, the last one being her freshman photo taken just before she matriculated at the University of Mount Selaya.

He last saw her in person 8.352 days before he departed Vulcan for Starfleet. At the time, they both had expected he would attend the Vulcan Science Academy for graduate study—he'd earned an undergraduate degree in two years at ShiKahr University—while she completed her studies.

Things did not go as planned. His father was angry, his mother distressed that his father was angry, and T'Pring was, frankly, pissed off that he made such a momentous decision without consulting her first. They spoke via comm after he arrived on Terra, but she'd been distant. This did not improve over the years during their infrequent contacts.

She avoided him when he finally returned to Vulcan after his graduation from Starfleet and reconciliation with his father. By then, she was doing postgraduate work and not inclined to leave school. As usual, they spoke by comm but didn't actually talk.

Things would improve when he reached his Time, his father assured him, but he wasn't so sure of this.

He rose, straightened his tunic, and left his quarters to go to the Bridge.

McCoy was waiting at the lift. "Spock," he greeted him with a nod. Spock nodded back.

McCoy cleared his throat. "I can see you are…well…but are you prepared, for, you know, the, um, joining?

"I do not intend to do any such thing, Doctor."

McCoy's eyes widened. The lift arrived and they entered it. Spock pressed the button for the Bridge. McCoy promptly halted the lift.

"What do you mean? Are you out of your Vulcan mind? Spock, if you don't…join with T'Pring, you'll die!"

"I will not." He released the hold button and the lift continued its journey.

"Spock!"

"Yes, Doctor!"

"Spock! Are you willing to die because you don't like her?"

"I will not die," Spock replied as he stepped out of the lift and to the Bridge.

"Whaddaya mean you're not gonna die!"

Everyone on the Bridge spun around toward the lift to stare at McCoy.

Kirk cleared his throat. "Glad to see you both alive and well."

"I have a plan," Spock told McCoy as he passed a wide-eyed Uhura on his way to the Science Station, McCoy close behind.

"What kind of green-blooded scheme could you possibly come up with?" McCoy practically shouted.

"Why is he always on the breedge?" Chekhov muttered to Sulu. Sulu grinned and started to answer but the doctor kept on raving.

"Spock, if you don't have sex you'll die!"

Sulu's mouth was open but he was unable to make a sound. Chekhov clapped a hand over his own mouth, trying to stifle a laugh.

Uhura's eyes grew even wider. Kirk cleared his throat a couple of times, wondering if he should say anything.

"Ah, he'll get used to it like the rest of us," Scotty muttered, mostly to himself.

Thankfully, the sound of a hail came through. "Vulcan Air Command is hailing us, Captain," Uhura announced.

"On screen," Kirk said quickly.

A young lieutenant in a Vulcan Space Fleet uniform appeared. "Greetings, Enterprise, you are now in Vulcan airspace. I presume Captain Kirk is commanding?"

"Affirmative," Kirk replied.

"How soon do you estimate before you reach docking?"

"Approximately one standard hour," Kirk answered.

The Vulcan nodded. "We will send your docking coordinates. This will be treated as a high priority per the Vulcan High Command."

Kirk nodded. "Acknowledged."

The young Vulcan sat up a little straighter. "Captain, is Commander Spock present?"

Spock swung his chair around and stepped forward in front of the view screen. "Spock here."

The lieutenant stood and gave the ta'al salute. "It is an honor, T'sai," she said.

Spock returned the salute. "Dif-tor heh smusa," he answered. "Live long and prosper, Lieutenant."

The young officer turned a subtle shade of green before sitting down again. "Commander, we have a message patched to you."

"Spock, would you like to take this in my office?" Kirk asked.

"There is no need. Proceed, Lieutenant."

The screen changed, and the image of an elegant young Vulcan female appeared.

"She's beautiful," Uhura breathed. "Who is she, Mr. Spock?"

"That, Lieutenant, is my wife, T'Pring."

Chekhov almost fell off his chair. "That's hees vife?" he sputtered to Sulu, who was engrossed in the view screen, almost enchanted.

Whoa, Uhura thought. Wait'll Chris hears about this! She shook her head. That dog, sniffing around her like he does.

"Spock."

"T'Pring."

"Spock, we have to talk."

"Uh-oh," Sulu muttered to Chekhov. "That's never a good sign."

"Yes, T'Pring, there is much to speak of. Shall we meet at the assigned place?"

T'Pring looked off screen for a moment. "I would prefer another venue if possible."

Spock took a deep breath. "I do not know if that is possible. T'Pau will be in attendance."

"T'Pau?" McCoy almost yelled.

Kirk sucked in his breath. He knew Spock's family was important but he wasn't aware of just how important. He'd have to dig a little deeper into his First Officer's profile. T'Pau was a legend on Vulcan, not to mention the only person to refuse a seat on the Federation Council. "Vulcan brings enough drama," she was reputed to have explained in turning down the seat.

"That sounded like McCoy," T'Pring said.

Spock sighed. "Yes. He is here."

"Very well—we meet at the assigned place," T'Pring said and the screen went blank.

Everyone on the Bridge exhaled.

"Mr. Spock," Uhura started to say, "I had no idea you were married! When—"

"Perhaps 'married' is not precise, Lieutenant," Spock said. "Our status is more than an engagement, but less of a marriage."

"So…is this stopover for your wedding?"

"I hope to avoid that," Spock answered. "Captain, Doctor, I would be honored if you two would accompany me to my….wedding place."

"Of course," McCoy said, "but I don't understand…I thought it's sex or you-?"

"I am honored, sir," Kirk interrupted. "After you, Doctor," he said pushing McCoy into the lift.

"We have to talk," Sulu said slowly. "Oh, this will not end well for Spock."

"Story of my life," Scotty said sympathetically.

Uhura shook her head. "Mr. Spock is married! I would never have guessed in a million years."

Christine stood nervously inside the transport room. Spock had asked her to accompany him to Vulcan's surface. She agreed, and looked up on the weather for ShiKahr. Good call—the forecast looked to go into the low to mid 40sC.

So she dressed for the weather: loose white slacks and a long-sleeved scrub top. She carried a small tote containing sunblock, lip balm, sunglasses, a broad-rimmed straw hat with Welcome to the I.V. League stitched on it, and pain reliever in case she still became sunburned. And triox—lots of it as she fully expected the Captain and Len to accompany Spock to the planet.

The door swooshed open and the Captain entered. "Nurse Chapel!"

"Sir."

"I—didn't expect to see you here."

"I asked Miss Chapel to accompany me," Spock answered for her. "Her presence is essential."

"I see," Kirk said slowly. As far as he knew, they were both engaged to other people, Chris to a guy who was probably dead, Spock to a stunning woman he apparently didn't want.

Well, love could be funny.

"Let's get this over with," McCoy grumbled, stepping to the back of the transporter. The rest of the party joined him, and on Kirk's command, shimmered out of the room.

They re-energized into a hot, very hot, room of sorts. Actually, it wasn't a room, Christine realized, it was a shaded area. And if this was the shade, she wasn't eager to get in the sun. She pulled out her sunglasses. Kirk turned to her, squinting. She dug back into her bag and offered him another pair, which he gratefully accepted.

McCoy pulled out a pair of his own sunglasses from his med kit. He knew Vulcan well enough.

"Whew, now I know what they mean when they say 'hot as Vulcan,'" Kirk commented.

Spock stood still, then turned to leave the room. The others followed him out into intense light and heat. Christine pulled on her hat and applied sunblock to her hands and neck. She offered some to the Captain, who shrugged. Well, he'll feel this later, she thought.

Spock turned to her and motioned for her to walk right behind him, in front of the Captain, which made her feel slightly uncomfortable. She was used to the Captain leading a landing party. But this wasn't really a landing party—it was an un-wedding party.

Spock stopped under a large overhanging rock. In front was a large, circular kind of ceremonial ground—oh my god, it was the wedding chapel. She really didn't want to be there.

"We will wait. It will be but a minute," Spock said to no one in particular.

He was right. Within a minute, a party of five or six persons appeared—a large man carrying a frightening-looking weapon similar to the one Spock had dangerously near his bed—followed by a petite, gorgeous woman and more men, dressed less threateningly.

Kirk and McCoy seemed to recognize her. She heard them suck in their breath. Spock stepped forward and saluted her with the ta'al.

"T'Pring."

"Spock."

"You said we need to talk. It is logical that we do before the other parties arrive."

"Yes. I will make this plain, Spock. I have neither wish nor intent to join with you."

"And you plan to challenge me?"

"Spock, what the hell are you doing?" McCoy hissed. "Isn't this what you want?"

"No. I do not wish to challenge," T'Pring answered.

"That is illogical. The only way to end the koon'ul* is through a challenge."

"I submit that is illogical. You do not desire me and I do not desire you."

"Yet it is our way."

"Spock!" McCoy hissed again.

"May I offer another option?" A male Vulcan stepped forward, and Kirk almost jumped out of his skin. "Bones, do you know who that is?"

"Who? Him? Yeah, that's Stonn. Greetings, Stonn." McCoy tried, and failed, to do the ta'al.

"Greetings McCoy. It has been a long time."

Kirk stepped forward and managed the ta'al. "I can't believe this—Stonn! I have been a…well, a fan of yours since Murder on the Forge."

"I am honored."

"And The Dh'Reth** Conspiracy? I couldn't put it down!

"You are kind to say that."

"Um, Stonn?" T'Pring said. "Spock and I have to sort out the koon'ul?

"Oh, right, Ashayam. My apologies."

"Did he call you Ashayam?" Spock said, with great irritation.

"He did…because I am. His ashayam, I mean."

"I do not understand."

"Spock, a moment," McCoy tugged Spock's sleeve. Spock allowed himself to be led back to the overhang, where Christine had hung back.

"Isn't she the one you want?"

Spock blinked. "Christine," he breathed. "It is agreeable to see you." Christine couldn't help but smile up at him, making him feel a bit like he was floating. He took her hand, kissed it, and held it to his cheek. "So cool, so…soothing," he whispered.

"OK, he's definitely not right in the head," McCoy muttered. He turned to see Kirk walking back to them.

"I can't believe I met Stonn! He's like, my favorite writer ever! Spock, Bones, neither of you mentioned knowing him!"

"He and I attended primary school together. His books are most…absorbing," Spock answered, still holding Christine's hand to his cheek. "I found Sehlat Semetary to be quite unnerving. Even disturbing."

"And he and T'Pring want to marry. Spock, doesn't that seem to solve a big problem you've had—like not wanting to marry T'Pring?" McCoy said with as much patience as he could muster.

"But there must be a challenge. A fight to the death!" He drew Christine closer to him. She found herself wrapping her arms around him, the big, sweet, dopey, green-blooded fella.

She was starting to feel a little drunk. Was it the thinner air and stronger pull of gravity?

"What do you suggest, that Christine fight T'Pring?"

"That would be even less logical than Spock fighting Stonn." T'Pring answered as she and Stonn approached the group.

"I have no wish for violence," T'Pring continued. "It is illogical to adhere to a tradition such as kal'I'fee. I want Stonn, and Stonn wants me. You and—Christine, correct?—apparently want each other. You do not appear to be in a blood fever and ready to kill. I suspect you find killing most illogical.

"Spock, we can request T'Pau to sever what little bond remains between us. We must do this."

"That is—agreeable," Spock replied, mostly into Christine's hair.

"Do you two require a room?" Stonn asked. "I have a timeshare not far from here…it is adequate for a couple."

"That will not be necessary," Spock said softly. "Christine helps me control the fever. The burn is pleasant, not violent. No, I do not wish to fight you, Stonn."

"Nor I you, although I admit I also wish to live…I do not believe I am a match for Starfleet training."

"So Spock...will you agree to ask T'Pau to end the bond?" T'Pring adked.

"I will, T'Pring, but this may be one tradition she will refuse to interfere with. We will need to put up a very persuasive argument for her to accept this, logical as it may be."

*betrothal

**monastery

AN: I have to think most Trek fans recognize, or can figure out, basic Vulcan. Translations are from VLD.