You Have Potential

A Buffy The Vampire Slyer Fan Fiction Story

Chapter 32:

After my talk with Spike about Xander's proposal. I felt anxious like I needed fight again. We had talked for hours ,and I had told him everything about my doubts ,and what was holding me back from answering him. I told him I wasn't leaning more toward one answer than the other. I just needed to make it through this battle and stop the apocalypse with Buffy and the rest of the Scooby's help. The only thing I didn't tell him was that he was the biggest factor of them all. I hated that my feelings for him were still clouding my judgment. Then again … my feelings for Xander were real, and it could be the perfect thing to get Spike out of my head and heart.

He offered to train with me, and I nodded in agreement, glad that everything was alright again. We went a couple of rounds throwing punches ,and dodging attacks.

" Come on Alexis is that all you've got?" Spike laughed dodging my attacks and circling around me. I laughed and didn't hold back any more and tried to tap into full strength and flip him into the air flying into the cement wall. I gasped when he hit the wall and was covered in rubble.

" OH my God!" I ran over to him. " Spike I'm so sorry, are you alright?" I kneeled down next to him laying on the ground. HE pushed the rubble off of himself and sat up. He was covered in bruises but I keep forgetting about Vampire strength was stronger than the average human, as was mine. He grabbed my hand and smirked.

" It's alright love I like it rough!" He winked at me and he was joking around so I knew he was alright. I punched him and started to smirk as well.

" I need to get some coffee before I tear Giles's training room apart!" I stood up, and dusted my self off, and holding my hand out for Spike to grab. After I helped him up we both made out way out side.

" Care to come with me to the coffee shop?" I looked over at him. " Besides it's not like I can go alone any way …" I gave him my sad puppy dog face.

" Well how could I say no to that" I giggled and on our way we spotted Mike sitting on the porch of Buffy's. The sun had gone down now and it was a little chilly out to night. HE had spotted us instantly perking up.

" Alexis!" I stopped watching him run over to us. " Where have you been, I hardly see you any more, you always sleeping or training?" I smiled and put and arm around my friend.

" Come on, were going one a very important mission to stop Lilith from taking over my mind with Caffeine!" Spike rolled his eyes.

" Oy, why is he coming?" Mike pushed Spike making him teeter, and catching him off guard. I put both of my arms around the two guys and we just walked down the street to the coffee shop. It was only about 2 blocks down the street so it didn't take too long to get there. We walked inside and saw Andrew sitting in the corner.

" Alexis! Spike! Mike!" He yelled waving us over. I smiled and was the first to walk over toward him, the other two hesitating ever so slightly. Mike didn't mind Andrew because they had a lot in common, but Spike found him rather annoying at times.

" What are you guys doing here?" He asked sipping his extra foam cappuccino.

" It seems the only way I can fight Lilith from controlling my mind is to stay conscious… so err go lots of coffee and training!" Andrew didn't know everything that had been going on but he knew enough and he was good company.

" What's it like?" Andrew asked out of no where and it caused all of us to stop and stare at him. My heart had skipped a beat and froze at his question.

" What?" I asked calmly hoping he didn't mean what I thought.

" I mean" He nervously cleared his throat trying to pick his words carefully. " You had Spike in your mind and you said that wasn't so bad, it was almost like you could control it on some level, and now you have a very powerful, old vampire in your mind…" I blushed as soon as he mentioned I didn't quite mind having Spike in my mind, because if I had to choose I would much rather have him there than Lilith. With Lilith I wasn't me any more, its like I could taste evil, and I never actually admitted my feelings of Spike in my mind.

" It's not the same" I sighed looking at the table. " Lilith is actually trying to start the apocalypse and kill me, Spike wasn't." I felt Spike's eyes on me. " Besides I could control that connection, I don't know how to control this one." A moment later a nice young girl about 20 came over to our table smiling.

" Hi, can I get you three anything?"

" I'll have a triple espresso" I ordered.

" Carmel late" Mike ordered, and the barista looked over at Spike that wanted some blood but thought better of asking for it, just shook hi head. Not 10 minutes later The same young Barista came back with our drinks. Andrew sipped is cappuccino again and looked at me with a strange glare.

" What?" I asked looking at him nervously.

" I'm just curious" He went on. " Alexis, you said you could control your connection with Spike, but before we broke your connection I remember you saying that you controlled what he did and he controlled what you did?" I blushed remembering everything that Spike and I had done and nodded, but wondered where he was going with this.

" Where are you going with this?"

" Maybe it's the same kind of connection, you can control Lilith?" I thought about it for a minute. Maybe Andrew did have a point. Lilith is doing a great portion of manipulation my mind maybe I could try the same out on her? I just wouldn't now how. It was different because Lilith was actually living in my mind.

" I don't know, it's a good idea, but its more like the connection we share because of our Seer telepathic abilities, not a spell."

" What kinds of things?" I looked over at Mike and he threw us all off guard.

" What do you mean?"

"What kind of things did Spike control you to do ,and what kinds of things did you control him to do?" He looked right at me with folding arms. I looked over at Spike and back at Mike and then to Andrew, everyone was waiting for an answer, but I couldn't say, I couldn't open up that can of worms. I couldn't tell them how it worked by a single wish, that grew to be our hearts desire. That even though I had to wish him to do basic things and functions, I also shared very intimate things with him that we had both wished.

" uh… Why is that relevant to know?" I fumbled with my espresso , but confidently went up to order another one at the counter to avoid his question. Mike got up and followed me to the counter.

" What's wrong with you?" I whispered to him looking up at him with hurt.

" What's wrong with you?" He retorted back " The only ones who don't know how you and Spike feel about each other are Spike, Xander and Buffy!" I shook my head.

" I told you before I can't go there… I wont ,and you know why…" I grabbed my espresso off of the counter, and this time Mike ordered a coffee and he grabbed his as well. " Why do you have to push the issue?"

" Because you are blind Alexis, you and Spike both. I don't care for him but I do for you and you don't admit how you feel about Spike to your self and everyone else its going to be worse off." He sighed, " Believe me I know!" HE looked to me and I could tell he looked determined. " I mean damn Alexis…" HE looked up and saw in the corner of the shop was a girl setting up with a guitar and looked as if she was getting ready to play. I looked over to where he was looking as saw it too. It was perfect . I smiled and looked over at Mike. I knew what I needed to do to cheer me up.

Mike walked back to the table by himself and Spike looked up.

" Where's Alexis?" Mike pointed behind them to the stage, and there I stood. I had talked to the manager the second I saw that girl set up a guitar and speaker system. I needed to sing.

" She's going to sing" He said and now all eyes were on me.

I stood on stage and I instantly knew what song I was going to sing. I grabbed the mic off the stand and brought it closer to me. I was mad at Mike for questioning my judgment on my feelings for Spike again, but yet through everything I still couldn't get him off of my mind and that frustrated me. I don't even know where it came from I just started to sing my mind.

I Can be tough , I can be strong

But with you its not like that at all

There's a girl that gives a shit

Behind this wall, you just walk through it

And remember all those crazy things you said

You left them running through my head

Your always there ,your every where

But right now I wish you were here

All those crazy things we did

Didn't think about it just went with it

But your always there , your everywhere

But right now, I wish you were here

As I sang I started to get a familiar head ache, and I prayed it wasn't Lilith again. Though I have only experienced it once I knew it wasn't ,but it was still just as bad during one of my songs. I was getting a premonition.

Damn, Damn, Damn

What I'd do to have you here, here, here

I wish you were here.

My vision was getting cloudy and I closed my eyes, but still tried to push on and sing. I put my hand to my head. I couldn't fight it anymore. I stopped singing , and let out a piercing scream, as I landed on the floor.

I was standing in a flaming circle with Spike much like when we had performed that spell to rid our connection, this time I was in the circle by myself, and laughing un controllably. This didn't feel like me. It felt very much like Lilith. I looked around the circle and saw Spike, Willow, Buffy, Giles, Xander, Mike, Cordelia, Angel, and they all looked scared and worried. I wondered what was going on, that's when I saw Spike holding a tiny vile with a green liquid in it.

" I hope your right about this !" Xander yelled at Spike and he just stood there staring at me.. Well the me that was being taken over by Lilith and he looked at the vile carefully. Then back at me.

" It's not about being right, it's a bout a feeling, and I have a feeling" He looked to be having a realization then threw the vile at me creating a loud boom and it engulfed the room in dark green smoke.

I slowly came to consciousness and saw Mike, Spike and Andrew standing over me. I wasn't on the stage any more. I was cold. I flickered my eyes open to see that I was laying on Spike's lap outside, behind the coffee shop.

" Alexis," Andrew stood in front of me sipping another cappuccino looking down at me. " Two things;" He held up two fingers and sighed. " I love hearing you sing, and what just happened?" Spike shook his head at him, and started to stroke my hair. I got lost in the feeling, but then tried to sit up, leaning against Spike's chest.

" I had a premonition, and I saw how I think you defeat Lilith" I looked around to everyone.

" That's great!" Mike said, then saw my facial expression looked worried as if I wasn't telling them everything. " Isn't it?"

" What did you see love?" I slowly stood up grabbing my head.

" I think we had better get back, we need Buffy" I looked at Spike, " And I think it involves the help of Angel and Cordelia, as well as everyone else" He could sense the fear in my voice. I was quiet the rest of the walk back to Buffy's, but it only made everyone else more nervous. Mike and Andrew went inside while I stood outside staring out into the night sky. Spike stood behind me knowing full well that I wasn't alright.

" What did you see?" I turned around and smiled at him. I knew it wasn't a laughing matter, but the fact that I was right brought a smile to my face.

" I told you…" I walked up to him " I told you that you would have to kill me in the end" He just stared at me and I stared back at him. He leaned forward toward me and I trembled watching his head lean in and I brought my hand up to stroke the side of his face with my hand, neither of us knowing what to say or do until I finally pulled away and walked inside the house to go find Buffy and the others.