You Have Potential

A Buffy The Vampire Slayer Fan Fiction Story

Authors Note: I just wanted to let you all know that the song in the last chapter was Wish You Were Here by Avril Lavigne. I do not own anything about it or Buffy The Vampire Slayer characters. Sorry for the few grammatical errors that I didn't catch and I hope you all enjoy!

Chapter 33:

I walked inside of the house in search of any one I could tell about the premonition that I just had. To my luck I found Xander sitting on the couch talking with Buffy. They looked to be having a heated discussion but they were talking in hushed tones and I could see Buffy smiling at Xander. I walked closer, now standing behind Xander and I started to get annoyed as I caught the tail end of the conversation.

" Are you nervous?" Buffy asked him, and I saw him shrug.

" You know when I proposed to Anya I knew that I loved her, but I still had doubts that maybe we were moving too fast, but I didn't know it was the wrong decision until the day of our wedding" Neither of them noticed my presence.

" But it was a demon trying to break you two up, not your future self" Buffy looked worried.

" That's just it Buff, He nailed it right on. I am afraid of turning out like my dad, and hurting my wife in the end."

I started to wonder why he had asked me to marry him to begin with. He had doubts with Anya, and I am sure he still has doubts with me ,and I haven't even answered him yet. I folded my arms, and bit my bottom lip listening to them go on about some thing I had asked Xander to keep between us until I knew for sure what I had wanted. I guess it turns out he didn't even know himself.

" Do you love Alexis?" in that instant it felt lie my heart had stopped and I was no longer breathing just waiting for Xander's answer. I waited for him to answer and there was nothing but silence. This just made me even more nervous.

" It doesn't matter, I could love her so much that I would do anything for her, but" He sighed and Buffy grabbed her friends hand. " She doesn't love me, I can tell" What… How could he say that? I realized I shouldn't be hearing this conversation, so I slowly backed up trying not to make a sound, and get out of the room. I was so panicked about letting them see me ease dropping that I literally ran into Spike.

" It helps to watch where your going?" I quickly turned around and he saw my expression having fear and panic. "What's wrong love?" I was still holding in my breath and I grabbed Spike by the arm and dragged him back onto the porch. As I came out Mike made his way in with Andrew, but I didn't pay much attention. I breathed out, and started to pace.

" Oh my Gosh!" I paced faster back and forth on the porch. It was starting to make him dizzy so he grabbed both of my shoulders to stop me dead in my tracks to face him.

" Enough with the pacing, your making me dizzy, What is it?" I looked at him in his eyes.

" How do I feel about Xander?" He tilted his head and looked at me hard?

" You tell me?" He asked still not understanding what I was asking him. I just shook my head.

" No, I mean" I pulled out of his grasp. " Do I seem to be pulling away? Would you say that I am I am cold and soul less?" I sat down and put my head in my hands.

Spike sat down next to me and stared at me.

" Well I can tell you as a vampire who has had no soul before… you do have a soul. You are filled with so much love and kindness its almost sickening." I looked up at him and smiled. " Though if you didn't have one I think you would still be capable of so much love, I should know" I nodded.

" I know, I know how much you love Buffy, you got a soul for her to prove to her that you could be a good man." I let a tear fall from my cheek. A part of me wished to be that girl , the girl he could do that for but tried to hide that thought. "But Spike I just walked in on Xander telling Buffy…" I hesitated to tell him but I knew that I needed to talk to some one, and everything just came so naturally with Spike. " She was asking him about if I'd answered him yet on his proposal , and then he was talking about doubts, and said" I looked away for a moment reliving his words I was never supposed to hear. " He said that he COULD love me so much, but it wouldn't matter because I don't love him" I felt so foolish

" Well do you?" I waited for his response, but when he finally spoke I couldn't believe it was the most obvious response. Do I love him I kept thinking over and over in my mind, trying to sound cruel.

" I do have love" I said saying so much with out saying anything at all. I stood up, and wiped my tears before heading back in side to discuss the mission with everyone, this time making my presence known.

" For some one else?" He asked as I walked toward the door. I turned back around and just stared at him, and he gave me a knowing look. There is no way that he could have finally figured it out, how I feel about him, but he wasn't stupid. At that moment I had a feeling he knew or at least had a feeling. I just turned back around with out saying another word and walking back inside the house.

" Buffy?" I shouted creating an illusion that I didn't know she was near, and she and Xander came over to me. Now Spike was right behind me. Xander came toward me putting his arm around and I tensed up ,but then had to force my self to relax because I am not supposed to know what I know, and I am just making my self seem more distant to him. I looked up at Xander and forced a smile.

" What happened?" she asked looking worried already.

" I just had a premonition" I paused and everyone's face was filled with worry.

" Lilith?" Buffy asked ready to pounce. I shook my head.

" No I think it was a genuine premonition." I looked from both of them. " I saw how we defeat Lilith… I think" I saw the expression on Buffy's face slowly turn into a smile.

" GO get Giles, and Willow!" She said to Spike, and he went to do so with out hesitation.

When Spike came back with everyone, we all sat in the living room.

" Alexis" Giles looked at me with excitement and continued. " Tell us about your premonition." I looked around the room.

" Well, I suppose it ends up getting so bad that Lilith takes total control of my body and I am no longer me. I saw all of you including Cordelia and Angel standing around me… well Lilith as me in an enflamed circle much like the one Willow and Cordelia performed to rid my connection with Spike, but this time there was a Green vile involved and there was debate about who needed to do it, but Spike threw it at me… err … her … err.. us in the circle and we fell to the ground with a dark green smoke engulfing the room" It was a little confusing to refer to me as Lilith, but I now knew what was going to happen, she really was going to take me over, and win.

I waited for some one to say some thing… any thing. Everyone seemed to be looking back and forth to each other. Xander and Spike however, were staring at each other.

" That's all you saw?" Giles asked.

" Yes, I assume that green vile is a potion, and it does something to Lilith, I just don't know when it is going to happen or anything that happens after that" I looked at everyone who were all looking at each other funny. " ok.. What is it?"

" That Vile" Willow was the one to speak. " Is a potion we acquired a few hours ago from Gabriel the Demi God to Banish Lilith and rid you of her connection. We are unsure of the side effects, or what it will do to you, but…" She hesitated looking at Buffy for permission to continue. Buffy looked unsure but nodded. " Well Alexis, the potion is very particular… so particular in fact that it has to be used on you by a true love" She looked from me to Spike. " You said you saw Spike throw it in your premonition?" I slowly nodded and gasped looking at Xander. I was about to defend myself , watching Spikes knowing gaze again. This time it looked as if everyone seemed to see it as well.

" I.." I felt my head buzzing. " I…" I tried to speak again, but grabbed my head falling to the floor. I could hear screaming inside of my head. I could feel it pushing to the surface.

" Alexis?" Giles got up and Buffy followed kneeling beside me, and holding me from behind to try to calm me down. IT felt like there was and explosion in my mind. My whole body got hot, and suddenly I started to fade out, like I was trapped in my own mind watching everything happen through some one else's eyes. I knew I was no longer me.

She started to giggle, and leaned up.

She started right at Xander, and then at Spike.

" Alexis?" Giles asked looking into her eyes right at me. She laughed again, and pushed Buffy off, throwing her back ward into the wall.

" Sorry, Alexis isn't in, leave a message after the tone" Spike stood up and so did Xander and walked toward her.

" Lilith?" Xander asked hoping it wasn't her, and she didn't take over my whole self. Xander walked toward her ,and she just smirked at him in a devious way waiting for him ot come closer. Spike grabbed his arm.

" I don't think that's Alexis any more" He said warning him. He didn't seem to believe him or want to, so he pulled away from him and kept walking closer. I was trying to scream inside my head, but it wasn't getting out to him to stop. I could hear what Lilith was thinking and it wasn't good.

" Shut up Evil Dead, that's Alexis" He was now kneeling in front of her. I saw him look at me with hope, but it was too late, she had reached up and grabbed hold of him. Pulling him closer to her, and kissed him hard.

" Mmm…" She moaned releasing him from her grasp. " You taste like puppies!" She giggled and Xander backed up against the wall.

" That's not Alexis… not any more" He said in a trance.

" Well done, lets give this boy a gold star!" She stood up rather quick, and sauntered toward Spike. " I'm just dying to taste you" I kept screaming for her to let me back out and pounded down the walls between us. IT must have been getting to her, because she stopped and closed her eyes, sighing. " Stop.. Now you stop that fighting in there!" Spike seemed ot catch on to what she was talking about, that she was talign ot me.

" Lexi? Lexi can you hear me? If your in there, we're going to get you out!" Lilith just laughed, it was so weird to hear some thing so evil using my voice, and see her using my body. She stared out at him with amusement.

" Let her go!" He screamed, and Buffy came up behind her, but she just shoved her back knocking her out, and looking back at Spike.

I tried to push through again. It seemed to be getting to her , because she held my head and dropped to the ground. I was winning. I just had to keep fighting.

" NO!" She screamed and dropped to the ground. When I came to I opened my eyes to see 5 sets of eyes on me. I immediately started to cry, and they knew in that instant that it was me again.

" Lexi?" Spike asked hoping he was right I looked at him and nodded.

" We need Angel, and Cordelia's help" I said trying to stand up. I knew that we were stronger in numbers and when we were all together, and I knew some how we needed them. Buffy rushed away to call Angel. Willow followed Giles to the basement to get the potion and read up on how to use it correctly. That left me in a room alone with Xander and Spike. This couldn't get any more awkward.

" How did you gain control again?" Xander asked. I looked up at him and smiled.

" I never gave up fighting, I wasn't ready to give up yet, and let her win. It was scary I could see and feel everything that she felt ,and just sat back and watched it all happen."

" You just have to keep fighting her right?" I nodded, and held my head.

" Yea, it's tiring." I sighed.

" So , hold on" Xander tried to understand everything. " You felt what she felt ,and what she did, but you never stopped fighting so does that mean that Lilith would have had her way with me in your body?" I laughed a little at how crazy that sounded.

" Honestly, I could not only feel my thoughts but hers as well. I knew exactly what she would do before she did it, and she wasn't going to kiss you Xander, she was going to kill you and drain your blood. It was actually me inside of her fighting that made her kiss you instead. The first two thoughts she had was kill and then she looked at both you and Spike and I had to stop her." Spike looked over at both me and Xander and realized something that Xander had not at first. I had fought harder to protect Spike, I had heard her thoughts to kill Spike and that is what brought me back and push her back inside.

" Well, thanks for saving my life" Xander joked " but next time lets not make me kiss the demon living inside of you!" I forced a smile, and got up to make myself a pot of coffee.

Buffy walked down into the basement with Willow and Giles.

" You know it's going to get worse before it's over, and this was just the beginning?" Buffy said folding her arms, and willow and Giles turned around nodding.

" She must not know the severity of what is going on inside of her." Giles urged the both of them. Willow hesitated, and Buffy refused to believe there was nothing that they could do.

" There must be something.."

" In order to banish Lilith from Alexis , we have to kill her!" They both went silent as Giles spoke. He wasn't happy about it , but there was not other way.

I was about to pour my self a cup of coffee, when I got another head ache. I grabbed my head. I was getting another premonition. I dropped to the floor. My eyes went white and I was out for several minutes, when I came too I gasped for breath.

" Buffy is going to die!" I said feeling a chill go through me.