This think-you giftfic is for catastrophicTranquility, who wrote the hundredth review of Babylon. She requested something fluffy and cute for a winter holiday, and since Christmas is a lovers' holiday instead of a family one in Japan…
Something that's lost in translation in episode 24 is that Kaworu actually makes plays on words a few times, once to point out that what SEELE was saying was BS and another time when he's talking with Shinji to put him at his ease. The dub removing that pun and not finding an equivalent way to express Kaworu's good humor actually made Shinji's crush on Kaworu even more blatant in that scene, since without it Shinji's reaction comes across as entirely 'OMG my crush smiled at me, it makes me melt inside' instead of, well, the crush smiling at him did have a substantial impact but Shinji's also smiling because Kaworu said something clever.
"I've never had anyone want to spend Christmas with me before," Shinji said, blushing. "I'm sorry there's not really anything to show you." No shopping districts with Christmas trees set up to attract the holiday crowd and encourage young lovers to spend money, no amusement parks with ferris wheels (and huge lines of more young lovers, wanting to try to be among the lucky ones to be up there in the sky at sunset).
Kaworu smiled and said, "We're taking a walk on the beach at sunset." The sky the color of his eyes, the water reflecting that hue. "I believe that is more than romantic enough, especially given the company."
Shinji looked down at their joined hands and blushed again, because yes, this was more than romantic enough. "I just thought, I mean, this was where I met you before, so…"
"I'm happy, Shinji," Kaworu said, voice as warm as his hand. "That you found the courage to reach out to me, even though for the Lilim, to let others close is to open yourself to pain."
The words passed over Shinji, just like the sound of waves on the shore. Comforting somehow, even though they were strange, because of the sound of Kaworu's voice and the warmth in it.
It didn't feel real. That kind smile, someone smiling at him like that, a smile just as impossible but Rei's and he felt his own mouth returning it, his cheeks stained the same color as the sky and the water and those eyes, like Rei's, like the girl who wasn't Rei.
He wasn't quite sure how he ended up offering to show Kaworu around before the sync tests tomorrow. It wasn't like there was much to show him, or like anyone normal would want to spend time with Shinji, after what happened to Rei, Asuka, Kaji, Touji…
If Rei was still alive, a few months ago he'd thought maybe of tickets to a movie theater even if Misato wouldn't let the pilots leave Tokyo-3 to go to an amusement park. Maybe, maybe she would smile again, the way Kaworu smiled now. The way the… the Rei there was now didn't smile.
They kept walking together, further down the beach. "Should we wait here until the stars come out?" Kaworu wondered if Shinji would like that.
He nodded, although he didn't think that he would watch the stars much.
Kaworu smiled for him again, Shinji had made him smile, and said, "Here, I think," sitting down before a small rise. He leaned back against it, and of course Shinji joined him, Kaworu didn't need to reach up for him, but the fact that he did…
They looked out at the water, the patterns and the red light, and Kaworu started humming. A car drove by in the distance: Shinji ignored it. Misato had told him that there were supposed to be sync tests today, with a new pilot, but he didn't want to see Rei, not like this, and after what happened to everyone… He wouldn't have had the courage to ask Kaworu to go with him just thinking that Kaworu might want to spend time with Shinji, but while Kaworu was here he wasn't in an Eva, they couldn't get him ready to take over Asuka's Eva.
Asuka would hate him for that, if she got better. If he could just keep Kaworu safe until then, if… Even if Rei hadn't really come back, it was possible to believe in miracles when Kaworu said he admired Shinji. When he smiled with affection and held Shinji's hand like memories of someone not wanting him to get lost, someone wanting to protect him.
"Misato's going to be angry," he said, because the sun was almost down now and they really had missed the sync test. Well, they'd missed it when Shinji's phone kept ringing until he turned it off. "I'm sorry, it's my fault you're going to be in trouble." They were going to be dragged in by the security people who somehow 'mysteriously' didn't find Asuka until she was already like that.
Kaworu shook his head. "I'm sure my reputation precedes me," he said, as though it was a small private joke, but somehow Shinji didn't feel left out. "Don't worry, Shinji. I'll be the one who led you astray."
It took Shinji a moment to put that together. But he'd just said, "I don't want you to be in trouble because of me. I'll say it's my fault, I'm the one that invited you." He didn't want Kaworu to take all the blame!
"Well, I'm going to be in trouble regardless," Kaworu pointed out. "It's better if I'm the one to take the fall. After all," he added, shifting closer, "I've already fallen for you, haven't I?"
Kaworu was closer,now Shinji realized, and all other thoughts fled his mind.
"Misato's going to be so mad," he realized later, when the stars were out and he knew that if he'd gone to the sync test she'd probably still be working late when he came home, or in her room, but if she wasn't out looking for him she had to be waiting for him to come home. Abandoning his responsibilities as an Eva pilot, to the world or whatever, really.
It was hard to believe that piloting could save anyone.
If he could keep Kaworu from piloting, he could save Kaworu.
"Do you want to sleep with me?" Kaworu offered.
Shinji gaped at him, and yes, Kaworu did know both ways that could be taken.
The other boy was waiting, for Shinji to decide which way he wanted to take it, or scold Kaworu for joking like that (Shinji could feel his heart racing, and maybe it was also because Kaworu had surprised him like that) and Shinji should be flustered, should be unable to believe someone would actually want to, with him, but…
He looked down and saw Kaworu's hands still intertwined with his. "I think I'd like to go inside," he managed to say. "It's so dark out here." With the city near-deserted.
Before much longer, it might be too dark to see Kaworu's face.
"Even though the moon is beautiful tonight."