Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Kiba, the Meow Mix Cat Clock theme song, all of the dog food brands mentioned, the Puppy Bowl (where the heck am I going to get all those puppies??), The "Who Let The Dog's Out?" song, and The Dog.

1.] Ask how old he really is in dog years. (One human year is 7 dog years, so do the math)

2.] While holding a leash, ask him to walk with you.

3.] If he ever scratches himself, proceed to spray him with bug spray. (be sure Shino isn't around. That's for another chapter.)

4.] Ask him if he's related to a ..... poodle.

5.] Leave him a message and sing the Meow Mix Cat Clock theme to him. (meow meow meow). For bonus points, sing it every time you meet.

6.] Remind him constantly that he lost to a certain energetic ninja that wears orange.

7.] The next time you spar with him, transform a kunai into a stick, and yell "FETCH!"

8.] If he really does get it, say in a very disappointed tone that he got the wrong stick and proceed to hit him with a rolled up newspaper.

9.] On Friday the Thirteenth, dress as a black cat, walk up to him, slap him and yell "THAT'S SEVEN YEARS, FOO!". And walk away.. err.. make that run away. VERY quickly.

10.] get a picture of a female dog (not the curse word) and show it to him and exclaim in a sly tone, "she looks good huh?"

11.] for his birthday, give him a gigantic sac of Dog Chow, Pedigree, Pet Pride, or other kinds of dog food.

12.] Sign him up for the National Dog Show.

13.] tell him he should be in a T.V. show …….. THE PUPPY BOWL IN ANIMAL PLANET!!!!!

14.] decorate his room with lots of mirrors. If he asks why, say that it was to insure that it is one possible measure for self-awareness. (dogs take these tests sometimes)

15.] Tell him every single detailed fact about fleas. (To the parts of the flea, the diseases it spreads, etc.)

16.] If you and his team were to ever go on vacation, tell him he can't go because we have to drop him off in a doggy daycare.

17.] when it snows, bring a sled to his house and ask him if he would want to sled with you. If he says yes, force him to be the one to pull the sled with you on it….dogsled style.

18.] When he fights, play the song "Who Let The Dogs Out?"

19.] put up posters of fleas in his room and little plastic fleas on the floor when he's not present.

20.] record his reaction as he tries to protect Akamaru and himself.

21.] take a picture of him close up and when he asks why, say it will be a new addition to The Dog album.

Ha, I had a lot of fun for this one. What's funny is that this is one of my favorite characters. What's more awesome is this is my third chapter today, so feel special. Thank you for Luna2986 for this suggestion!