A/N: I think it's squick worthy. But then again, I dislike the idea of childbirth anyway.

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Deep in the darkest, nastiest part of the sewers, there was something desperately, desperately wrong with the woman called 'mother' by her brood of adopted criminal children.

Harley was doubled over in pain, trying to stumble forward without falling forward, as she moaned, agony threatening to overcome her completely. She felt as though her abdomen was going to split itself apart. Harley's spine spasmed every few moments and it was as if every muscle in her body tried to seize and tie itself into a knot.

The baby. Something was wrong with the baby.

She was only eight months along…barely that. The contractions were coming too soon. The child was coming too soon…

She needed help. She needed a hospital. A midwife. Pain killers. A bullet to the head. Anything!

A particularly violent contraction grabbed her between its jagged teeth and she screamed, finally losing the battle to stay upright that she had been so valiantly fighting up until that point.

The pain as her knees connected with solid cement with a crack! was nothing in comparison to the feelings going on everywhere else.

Should have…should have stayed with the Bat…should have…should have..

Her breath came in short gasps as one hand stayed held to her stomach and the other braced her against the ground.

Why wasn't anyone coming to help her? Why?! She was the mother of a movement! WHY WASN'T ANYONE HELPING?!

The Joker's voice echoed around in her skull. You know why, Harley…you sent them all away…you wanted to be alone…you stupid, stupid thing. You're going to kill the only piece of me you have left. You imbecile!

Harley shook hard, trying to keep herself from hitting the floor beneath her by collapsing completely, but her arm was threatening to give out with every wave of throbbing that wracked her frame. Sweat poured from her and the quaking only got worse, to the point that she couldn't support her own weight anymore and she lay on the ground, curling into a ball and clutching her belly, just trying to keep her body from shattering into a million pieces…because that's exactly what it felt like.

Harley's throat was trying to close up with the force of her frantic choking swallows of air…she just couldn't get enough air! There wasn't time to take a breath between the sudden ripples of pain that tore at her insides and lightheadedness would have been a welcome change from the constant torment that her own body was subjecting her to…

But the pain was too sharp for her to be taken by oblivion. Too sharp and too acute for unconsciousness to try and claim her. Every time she started drifting towards darkness, a stabbing pain erupted from her abdomen, yanking her back into the present so harshly that stars danced in her field of vision.

Another scream tore loose from her throat and her head thrashed from side to side as the feeling that she would be torn in half increased.

I'm dying. That's all there is to it. This is going to kill me, without a doubt.

As she thrashed with her eyes squeezed shut, completely preoccupied with labor pains, she didn't hear the rapid foot falls coming her direction. She didn't see the brilliant flash of green that was rushing towards her with all the urgency that the situation called for. She didn't even hear her name being called in a strangled shout, full of fear and anxiety. "Harley!"

Ivy skidded to a stop and flopped on the ground next to the writhing blonde, grabbing her by the shoulders as forcefully as she dared, trying to cease her squirming and failing.

Harley was too caught up in her anguish to notice the hands that danced over her skin, quickly and efficiently pulling her clothes away in a strategic fashion. She didn't feel the cool hands on her thighs that pried her legs apart…all she was aware of was the sudden, aggressive urge to push.

Well, who was she to argue with her instincts?

She shrieked again as she pushed and Ivy tried to shout at her that it wasn't time yet, but the blonde was so lost within the sea of terror mingled with pain that she ignored the order given her and continued to rip herself apart as she forced labor along much quicker than it was supposed to be.

Blood pooled beneath Harley and all Ivy could do was restrain her as she continued to do horrible damage to herself. She couldn't stop her from pushing--she couldn't stop her from tearing her own flesh as she did her best to force the child that was within her womb into the outside world long before it was ready, all she could do was try to keep her thrashing to a minimum.

It was panic that was making Harley act this way, Ivy knew, but regardless of what had caused it, she couldn't stop what had already been started. The baby was beginning to crown, covered in the dark, slick blood of its mother, which was rushing from her far faster and in far larger quantities than it should have been.

If this wasn't over soon or Harley didn't get medical attention, she was going to kill herself in childbirth, something that was nearly unheard of in modern society.

Calling some of her plants towards her, Ivy left them the task to holding Harley down as she prepared herself to receive the infant that would soon be gracing her presence and with one last cry, Harley pushed hard enough to force the child from her womb and into the waiting pool of fabric that Ivy was holding.

Harley flopped back, breathing heavily, shakily trying to recover without losing consciousness and Ivy stared at the tiny creature she held bundled in her arms, covered in blood and wrapped in the hastily torn off garment that Harley had been wearing.

It was still. Silent. Eyes shut and mouth clamped closed, much smaller and more delicate than most babies were after birth…

For several moments Ivy thought that perhaps it had been stillborn, but then a pair of bleary green eyes opened to meet her own and its little chest heaved like a miniature set of bellows, letting out an angry howl that boomed through the sewer tunnels, announcing to the world that the child of the Joker had made its grand debut in a manner befitting the child of the most chaotic man who'd ever lived.

Ivy stared at the baby for a few seconds more before she glanced up at her completely exhausted friend, whose eyes were nearly shut, fluttering slightly as she fought to remain awake and coherent after all that work.

"It's a girl."