Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Kisame, Jaws and its theme song, the Little Mermaid, Spongebob, and Sea World.

The classics:

1.] Ask if he's related to Jaws.

2.] For each time he enters a room, loudly hum the Jaws theme song (dun,dun,dun,dun DUN!!!)

This is how I would roll:

1.] Each sushi. INFRONT OF HIM. BESIDE HIM. And oooh! Add some soy sauce and ginger! C(=

2.] Ask him how baby fish are made repeatedly.

3.] Ask him if he knows Ariel, the Little Mermaid… or SPONGEBOB XD

4.] Ask him if he fears Iruka. If he asks why, say that dolphins can totally OWN sharks. (Iruka means Dolphin and also say "own" in chatspeak, making it "PWN" )

5.] Following number one, buy the extreme deluxe package of sushi and share them with everyone.

6.] While he's asleep, style his hair into a fin… along with BUNNY EARS!!! (don't blame me here, I'm eating lots of cake at this very moment)

7.] Each time you see him or when he tries to talk, scream bloody murder, run around in circles, and yell "OFF THE BEACH! SHARK ON THE LOOSE! I REPEAT, SHARK ON THE LOOSE!!!!"

8.] Tackle him and try to pull one of his teeth. When he asks what you are doing, tell him that you need his teeth for your shark tooth collection and also tell him that you need ten teeth …..of the same kind.

9.] Take him to a fish market to get some fresh shark fillet. Videotape his reaction when he watches the butcher freaking cut a full shark.

10.] While holding a fish skeleton, say to his face, " I found your wife, Kisame!" in an about-to-giggle-girlishly kind of voice.

11.] If he acts all stressed out, offer to read him a bedtime story.. "200 WAYS TO COOK AND PREPARE SHARK"

12.] If he acts all stressed out, ask him if he's "blue around the gills"

13.] Use his sword to cut the said shark fillet from number 9 into more little pieces. Fry tenderly and serve while hot. :D

14.] Force him to eat some mystery onigiri and if he refuses, threaten to bring out the frying pan.

15.] When he asks you what's in it, yell "YO MAMA AND YO DADDY, YOU HEARD??!" did I forget to mention you have to act all gangster-like?

16.] Hold a neon hula hoop in front of his face. When he asks about what you are doing, frown disappointedly, bring out a spiky whip, and say "You forgot the obedience lesson didn't you? you bast*rd…" Proceed in whipping him before he runs if you please.

17.] Flood his bathroom and pin a note to the door saying, "You miss your home so.."

18.] Videotape him as he opens the door and gets flooded away.

19.] Ask him if that was how he escaped Sea World.

20.] Pretend to eat him. One day, you measure his arms, height, weight, etc. The next day, sprinkle him with seasonings and replace his shampoo with teriyaki sauce. On the third day say, "Just one more day my Teriyaki-styled Fish With Broccoli.. just one more day.." while petting his head .

21.] Repeatedly pummel him with numerous beach balls while saying "COME ON! YOU CAN DO IT! JUST BALANCE ONE BALL FOR 30 SECONDSS!!" in a cheerleader-ish kind of voice.

22.] Follow him around with a camera and snorkel. When he questions your actions, tell him it's a documentary of how a mutated shark lives (how it eats, how it sleeps, how it goes to the bathroom, and how it…WALKS!!!)

23.] Rip one if his scales off PAINFULLY and when he asks why the hell you did that, say it was for genetic research on how the skin turn in a pigment of aquamarine blue and to see if the pigment is related to the fossil-like specimen that lived a million years ago. (In other words, talk all smarty-pants like)

24.] Throw a pokeball at him and when he tells you to stop doing that, exclaim in a gloomy and depressed voice," Does that mean you're not the flipping awesome pokemon called the Sharpedo?"

This one is fun. I didn't exactly read or even see the parts of when he was introduced or where he was shown in the scenes so I just guessed on his personality by watching the fan flashes on Youtube. LOL. The reason why was because I was caught up with other anime... DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO KEEP UP WITH TWENTY KINDS OF ANIME AT THE SAME FREAKING TIME DURING SCHOOL?? Ahem, anyway, review and suggest please. I need more victi- I mean very lucky characters for this fic to stay alive. Remember, also review because it isn't that exciting to see a sack full of suggestions (in fact, it's almost like my homework agenda on a monday night.. holy crap), so please, for the love of Kisame over here *pets his now injured and mentally damaged head*, REVIEW!