Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Kabuto, Orochimaru, Barney, Teletubbies, Sesame Street, Pooh Bear, the OPERATION game, eHarmony, the (super awesome) pokemon Kabuto, and the Simpsons.

Orochimaru.

1.] Shave his head… monk style (y'know with a small speck hair in the back).

2.] Bombard him with lots of blush and face paint and say," You were a bit pale there so I guessed you needed some color."

3.] When he stretches his neck out, jump over it and say," The jump rope companies are losing their creativity these days… Hope you don't mind" while you "accidently" tripped on his neck, choking him.

4.] Call him from far away and say with a deep voice," Sir, we will be arresting you for the kidnapping of young infants and children and therefore will be filing you as a dangerous predator, a kidnapper, a hobo, and an insane clown hell bent on trying to accomplish immortality." Get the phone away for a second and shout loudly in the background. " Isn't it horrible to have the same ugly face for eternity?"

5.] Set mice free in his lab… I'm talking about a LARGE family here.

6.] Have a rattlesnake hide in his bed and put a small card saying," We know you have been wishing for a wife so… from Kabuto and the family"

Kabuto

1.] Throw a rock painted as poke ball and say," I CHOOSE YOU KABUTO!"

2.] Crappily draw a drawing of him sliding down a dinosaur Flintstone-style and draw a second picture of him holding hands with Barney, The Teletubbies, Dragon Tails, Sesame Street, and Pooh. Laminate it and send.

3.] While he's in Konoha pretending to be the "nice guy", loudly ask when he's going to kidnap little children. Make sure it is in front of Naruto's gang...or a pack of Anbu.

4.] Sign him up in eHarmony and say," Orochimaru isn't a good choice for you; There are lots of snake-like WOMEN in the world y'know….I think"

5.] Ask him to do an "important" operation.. Then give him the OPERATION game (the Simpsons edition).

6.] "Enroll" him into rehab as a "gender-confused and troubled teen".

I'm sorry if it isn't as good as the others because I, my good chaps, have temporarily lost my "touch"….and I forgot my password. Yeah, nice excuse huh?

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