Chapter Summary: A deep breath in and then a deep breath out. Nico can hardly breathe with the pressure behind his eyes, in his throat, beating against his chest, and pounding in his head. He didn't know it could hurt so much without hurting at all until this very moment.

Notes: not gonna lie, I listened to "Terrence Loves You" [Coney Island QUEEN a.k.a lana del rey] the entire chapter. Actually, it's what inspired me to write this instead of something else I planned. (Fell in absolute LOVE with said song the moment I heard it. You might want to listen to it while reading this chapter.)

If you have concerns about how I'm handling the situation, please raise the issue up. I'm treading cautiously, but mistakes can be made. Comments not regarding concerns are welcomed as well! Questions about the story are welcomed - but it's preferable if you ask them on a fanfic account since I'm not a fan of taking up author's note space to answer questions to anons, because I get carried away with writing. (If you don't have an account - asking as anon is totally fine.)

SATURDAY

"In my own house! In my own house, and I almost let it happen! I want charges pressed against them – NO. They tried to rape him; I don't care if it was bystanderism or conformity because they sexually assaulted him. Yes – I checked. Found remains of it in the cup. …I am calm! I just can't deal with this right now, okay?"

Nico's head hurts, to say the least. In reality, it feels like a giant hand has reached down and pinched his head and slowly pushing inwards so that he feels like his head is going to burst into tiny bloody particles. He can hear a distinctly male voice nearby but it sounds distant with an echo-like quality, like he's underwater. His own limbs refuse to listen to him, drooping uselessly against his sides under the covers of a soft blanket.

He freezes, his eyes opening to be greeted with the sight of an unfamiliar room with high ceilings and too comfortable bedding. Last night's events replay through his head, and he's left paralyzed with overwhelming disgust, hatred, and fear. The hands and the voices are long gone, but he can still feel Bryce's foot on his hand and the taste of some unknown drug on his lips holding his entire body down and rendering him submissive.

After the girls, he's not sure what happened. He remembers being led away and then lying down on the very same mattress he's lying on now, but he pulls a blank when he tries to remember what occurred after that.

Bile rises to his throat at the thought of the girls, and his body reacts before his mind can. He sits up on the bed despite the pain in his head and his body, and everything he's eaten in the past twenty-four hours pushes its way up through his esophagus and out his mouth onto the pristine marble floors.

Someone is saying something to him, but he keeps heaving until only liquid is coming up now. And someone is making pathetic whimpering noises and he's half certain that it's him but he can't admit it to himself. His arms have wrapped around his chest and he's clutching himself so hard that his nails are biting into his pale skin and then sharp painted nails, cruel eyes, and mean laughter as hands push him down and he's screaming for it to stop but he can't. He can't.

He's shivering when he dry retches into the mess he's made on someone's floor. His throat burns like someone's been scraping the dull side of a knife along it. The little panicked exhales and whimpers, he realizes, are indeed coming from his own mouth and he has enough sense to feel embarrassed about it. Since when has he, Nico Levesque, grown into such a ridiculous weakling?

The voice that had been settling in his peripheral hearing comes into full focus now, and Nico is startled when he hears someone speak not for the first time. "Hey, hey – are you all right? What am I saying – do you want me to stay here or do you want some privacy?"

Nico turns his head to the side and sees a man standing there, decked out in a fine white suit that is crumpled in places and speckled with odd stains. His blond hair is a mess like the man has been running his fingers through for hours, and his blue eyes are wide and blood-stained and Nico has no idea what to assess from the situation.

His hands suddenly clench into tight fists, and he wonders if something happened between the both of them in the dark lapse of his memory. His heartbeat feels like the rhythm of the drums in an ominous tune, and he wants to scream but nothing will come out of his throat. The man continues standing at the edge of the bed, too far to touch him but too close for Nico to feel anywhere near safe. He needs to call Reyna right now. He needs to get far away from this place – he needs OUT.

"Stay away from me," Nico says, finding his voice. His chest soothes over if only slightly when his voice comes out steady and cold like what happened to him hours ago hasn't bothered him the slightest. "Don't touch me."

Nico's backside doesn't hurt in a way that indicates the continuation of a horrible night that will surely haunt him for a long time, but he doesn't trust this man in the fancy white suit. The man's face crumples in disappointment when Nico shrinks away from him. The slight movement presses the edge of his phone against his rump, and he feels the slightest presence of comfort.

The man puts his hands up in the air in surrender like he's the victim here, and Nico narrows his eyes in what he hopes is hostility. In reality, he's frightened out of his mind. He has no idea who this man is, where exactly he is, and what happened in the black period where he was asleep. "I'm not going to hurt you," the man says quietly before lowering his hands to his sides. His blue eyes are solemn when he looks at him, and Nico can't help but curling his body up tight toward himself. "I'm going to leave now. If you need me again, I'll be outside." He nods slowly before turning around and walking across the spacious but empty room to the door. Nico watches the man open the door to a familiar large hallway and then closing it behind him.

He's still in the Solace manor, about an hour away from the house he shares with his half-sister and his wayward stepmother. He feels a lump in his throat, and he doesn't allow himself to make a single noise when he pulls out his phone to see what must be hundreds of text messages and dozens of missed calls from Reyna and Hazel. He tentatively scrolls past the messages without reading them because he knows he'll start crying when he feels the concern in her texts, and that is going to evolve into full-blown sobs as he recounts his horrible night.

The phantom stab of nails startles him, and he stares down at his right wrist to see that there indeed is dried blood and marks from when he pulled away from that girl. He can't help dry retching when he thinks about it, and he presses his knuckles hard on his chest over where his heart should be. The feeling in his throat doesn't go away, and he feels a trickle of tears at the corner of his eyes.

A deep breath in and then a deep breath out. Nico can hardly breathe with the pressure behind his eyes, in his throat, beating against his chest, and pounding in his head. He didn't know it could hurt so much without hurting at all until this very moment.

Slowly he scrolls all the way down and types the same message to both Hazel and Reyna.

NICO [sent at 11:47am]

{ I'm ok. }

It is so far from the truth that Nico wonders how he can even bear to send it. Before he has time to think of a follow-up text, Hazel calls him. The too cheerful ringtone plays loudly on his phone, and for a second he wants to throw it across the room and scream until his voice becomes nothing.

Nico stares at his phone instead, at the words Hazel Levesque, and his sister's smiling contact image blown up on the slightly cracked screen of his phone. He lets it ring, once, twice, three times, and then he picks up on the last second.

"Yes?" he asks, his voice strangely calm despite the feeling of wanting to tear apart at every inch of his skin.

"Nico! Thank God you answered! Reyna was so worried – where are you? What have you been doing all night? I know you're eighteen, but for God's sake Nico please call home when you stay over late or hook up with someone. I'm not going to judge you, I promise."

He feels the painless hurt punch its' way through his chest and he can't speak. He clutches his phone against his ear, listening mindlessly to Hazel's babble. No longer hearing the words, he focuses on the inflection and tone of his half-sister's voice and pretends that she's right beside him and telling him that everything will be fine. Everything will be absolutely fine.

The tears slip down his cheeks silently, and Nico looks down at the soft white sheets of the bed. He's wearing his shirt now – that man must have put it back on him, and his jeans are properly buttoned and adjusted now but he feels just as naked as when the drug had infiltrated his system and mind and he was rendered a useless toy for entertainment.

Bad – it feels bad. Hazel is still talking, but he can't do this anymore. He can't, he can't he just can't. "Please pick me up," he whispers over the phone in the middle of Hazel's worried rant. "I'm still at Solace's house. Please hurry." He doesn't even want to hear the response, so he pulls the phone away from his ear and ends the call with a simple press of a button.

His breathing becomes heavier, and then he realizes he's crying. Both hands reach up to press against his face, and he sobs into his palms as his heart beats hard against his chest and it feels like it's going to break out of his rib cage and fall onto the floor in a bloody mess of broken tissues and cells. His palms turn into fists, and he scratches them down his cheeks as he sobs – he couldn't stop himself if he wanted to.

You are pathetic, the rational part of his mind tells him. He breathes in shakily, pressing the heels of his palms against his eyes in an attempt to mitigate his sobs. The immobility of the moment allows himself to breathe in regularly enough to calm down if only slightly.

Getting out of this room is essential. He knows that the strange man with blue eyes is standing outside his door right now for whatever twisted reason he's come up with. Maybe something did happen between them when Nico was out cold, and he clenches his fists hard enough that his short nails dig into his palms.

His phone is beeping incessantly with messages from Hazel, but he doesn't read the messages. Pocketing his phone, Nico wraps his arm around himself in the only way he can to feel a little bit safer and steps off of the bed onto the floors, carefully avoiding the mess he made just moments earlier.

There are no windows in this room, and his only choice is to walk through those doors. He's not sure how he's going to face the man – he's not sure whether the man is just another one who took advantage of him or someone who helped him at his weakest. Either way, it doesn't help how frightened he feels when he walks toward the doors. Reaching one hand out, Nico turns the cold door knob and the world beyond this room opens up to him once again.

True to his word, the man in the white suit is standing outside staring somewhat blankly at the wall. When he sees Nico walk out, he eyes snap over to him and he straightens immediately. His blue eyes are carefully guarded and Nico feels another wave of fear when the man takes a small step forward.

They both freeze, and the man sighs. He looks down at the ground and runs another hand through his mussed up hair, and Nico thinks that he would find him attractive in another life. But right now, he is only thinking friend or foe? The man looks up again and this time Nico is the one who looks away.

"I'm sorry," he says, but Nico doesn't know what the man is apologizing for. Perhaps… Perhaps something did happen, and he's feeling guilty about it hours later. It doesn't make anything better, and Nico is seconds away from breaking. "You probably don't know me. I'm Will Solace. I… My family owns this house, and I… I found you last night." It doesn't sound promising and Nico doesn't look up. This is certainly the William Solace that Reyna was telling him about last night, and he is also rumoured to have been caught with a boy in his bed. That thought does nothing to comfort Nico now. The 'boy in his bed' might as well have been Nico, but without consent.

It makes him want to run, but his legs won't move and he's left staring at the ground while Will talks.

"I…didn't touch you like they did if that's what you're thinking," he says, but Nico's not even sure if he believes a single word that comes out of his mouth. "I'm really sorry about what happened. I swear to God if I had known this was what they were planning…"

He trails off and that's when Nico speaks. "Just leave me alone," he says, his tone tired and weary, and he knows at this moment that he just wants to lie down and pretend that none of this happened.

"Okay," Will says, his voice surprisingly soft. When Nico looks up, he notices the other man – boy's eyes are also looking at him softly like he's a fragile breakable thing, and he feels slightly comforted and repelled by it at the same time. He is not delicate, and he is not breakable, but after last night he doesn't know what to think anymore. "Nico Levesque, right?" he asks, but it doesn't sound like a question.

Nico nods and then hurriedly walks past Will while he can and hopes that the other boy won't block his path. He's let through without protest and Nico knows these hallways well enough to locate the grandiose stairs that had looked like such an adventure the night before.

He pauses and then looks down the other side of the hallway all the way down to see the slightly ajar door of the East Wing. Echoes of laughter float into his mind, and he can almost smell the scent of flowery perfume that will no doubt make him throw up every time he catches even a whiff of it in the future.

His hand reaches out to scratch the inside of his left wrist hard and he makes his way down the stairs. When he reaches the main room, he picks up his pace and dashes to the large front doors without even a glance back.

A plethora of feelings fills his heart when he runs out to see that Hazel has just stopped her run-down van in the driveway. Reyna is in the passenger seat, and she opens the window to wave at Nico when she sees him. He runs down the steps to the driveway and nearly trips onto the pavement. When he reaches the car and sits in the backseat, he allows himself to break down into pathetic sobs for the second time of the day.

Reyna and Hazel are saying something in worried tones and asking him questions he doesn't care about, and he can still see the looming figure of the Solace manor and he NEEDS OUT.

He's screaming something about needing to get out, needing to get away from here, take him away from here please God if there is any mercy in the world he just needs to go HOME where he's SAFE and there are no claw-like nails scratching at him touching him in places he DOESN'T WANT to be touched and he can't do this anymore he can't hold up the pretense anymore.

The car stops and then the door slides open. Someone touches his back while saying something, and Nico shoves them away so hard that it's only when he's bent over the toilet in his bathroom and dry retching hard that he realizes it was only Reyna's concerned touch.

Notes: This chapter was more difficult to write than the first one. Your thoughts on it would be very nice.

Now that I've thrown myself into the story, I think this could possibly be longer than 15k since I'm heading more descriptive than narrative. I'll try to update regularly but University is slowly beginning to take up very very large chunks of my time.