My Ship, sixth part: Crumble

by Deb H

Wednesday 18 July 3004

Recording begins 17:03

Okay. Well, testing, one, two.

There aren't any lights or anything on here, so I don't know if I'm actually recording. But, well, that doesn't really matter any more, does it?

Anyway, my name's Amy Wong, and this message is for Philip J Fry.

If he's alive.

If not, then, well, my will contains instructions on what to do in that case.

Well, anyway, this message is just my last chance to talk to you, Fry. I'm sure I don't have much longer left, and as you probably know by now, as soon as I inherited everything from my parents, I wrote up my will.

It's all yours, Fry. That shouldn't surprise you.

There are some things I want you to do, Fry, but first, I just... there are some things I've got to talk about first.

You probably know that I've been trapped in one of the collapsed buildings outside Jenningsville. You must have found my body if you're listening to this.

I've been down here for, I don't know, a week at least. Maybe even ten days. There's no sunlight down here. Not even a sliver. And we've got those short days anyway.

I guess I'm in pretty good shape, if you don't count the starvation and the dehydration. I haven't been able to use my right arm the whole time – it's trapped under the rubble, and so are my legs. Chances are at least one of those limbs is broken, but at least we've got those medical nanites in our bodies. Otherwise they probably would have gangrened by now.

It's been days since I've had any water. Some rainwater seeped in here a few days ago, and I was able to move my head enough to catch a stream dripping from above. A couple of times, I was able to catch bugs, but that's all I've had to eat this whole time.

And my wrist communicator probably got crushed under there. Otherwise you would have found my signal a long time ago.

So that's what it's like for me. Can't see, can't talk to anyone, can't eat, can't drink, can't move.

But I've been thinking a lot. Thinking and dreaming.

Fry, or whoever's listening, if you haven't found it already, you should look for my journal. It's a little notebook, white cover, that I used to write in. It's probably in my bedroom at the ranch, or maybe in my apartment back on Earth.

I wrote a lot in there when Leela died, and for about a month after that, up to when my parents died.

After that, of course, we just got so busy. But if you want to know how I was feeling then, you should read that.

And one thing I want to talk about now is everything that's happened since then. Because a lot has been going on and, well, maybe my recollections will be of some use to someone else.

Anyway, after I wrote that last entry, I just remember crawling in bed and curling up under the covers. I didn't want to get out of there for anything. I was thinking about having to run the Buggalo Group, cleaning out the ranch house, moving out of New New York, quitting Planet Express, everything.

But everything had been happening so fast. I just didn't know how to react.

And I remember how you got me out of bed, Fry.

If it is you, Fry.

Look, to make it easy, I'll just talk as though I'm talking to Fry. And if he's dead and somebody else is listening, then, well, sorry.

But if somebody else is listening and Fry's not dead, you'd better shut this fucking thing off right now and get it to him.

Anyway, if it's you, Fry, you probably remember when you came to my room and sat down on my bed. I didn't notice you at first. I was facing the other way. But I noticed when you put your hand on my shoulder.

By then I'd stopped crying. The well had just run dry.

When I looked up at you, you told me that the others were here.

I was like, "The others?"

And you were like, "Yeah. Bender's here. Clyde and Choto. BW. Hermes and his family. Everybody."

I said, "They all came?"

And you said, "Yeah, I invited them. I hope you don't mind."

Please. Of course I didn't mind.

I took a few minutes to clean up, and then you and I went downstairs. And, yeah, you were right. Everybody was there. They were all waiting for me, and they all had something kind to say.

Even Bender, sort of. When I said sorry to him for making him do all the deliveries that week without you or me, he was just like, "Ah, don't worry about it. You know, that BW's a lot of fun to be around. It and I really work well together."

And then later I was talking to BW, and it said, "I think Bender was kind of fucking with me. He'd tell me to get some part, but he wouldn't tell me where it was. So I had to look it up myself, figure out how to get it out, all of that, and of course, half the time it was an important part of the engine, so as soon as I pulled it out, the engine would shut down and we'd just be drifting in space."

And right after that, Fry, I told you, "Remind me not to put Bender in charge of the Leela again."

And that's when you said something hugely important, Fry. Remember that? You aksed me if I was going to buy the Leela.

And I was just like, "Buy the Leela?"

And you said, "Yeah. I mean, Clyde owns Planet Express, right? And that includes the ship. So you could buy her from him."

So when I went over to Clyde, he just said, "Hi, boss."

I was like, "What?"

He just said, "Well, you're valued a few hundred times what I am now. I think our working relationship has changed."

In total, I inherited about a hundred billion dollars, including the company, the ranch, and my parents' other investments. So that would have made his net worth in the hundreds of millions.

I said to him, "Yeah, I wanted to talk about that."

And he said, "Well, first, I just want to say I'm sorry."

I was like, "It wasn't your fault."

But he said, "Well, that's the thing. It was my fault. I mean, it was because of our investigation that that got out. The client must have sent everything you found to the Martian cops."

I aksed him who the client was, but he just said, "Sorry, confidentiality. I can't even tell you."

He said he felt really bad that whole week, and he wanted to talk to me, but he didn't get the chance.

Then suddenly he was like, "You want to buy the company, don't you?"

And I said, "Yeah. How much do you want for it?"

And then he aksed for fifty million dollars.

Of course, right away I said, "You paid two million for it in the first place."

He was like, "All right, you caught me. Two and a half million."

I admitted that he was a good leader but pointed out that I'd be damned if the company had appreciated that much after just two weeks of his stewardship. Finally we agreed on the same purchase price as before, on the condition that he'd still run it and would get a modest raise. Then I told him that I wanted to keep making the deliveries.

He said, "You sure about that? In your position, I'm not sure you'd want to make risky trips every day. You've got a lot to lose."

I looked around the house, at the paintings of rustic Martian scenes, stuffed animal heads, and the old weaponry on the walls. One of those pieces of weaponry, of course, was still very firm in my mind.

And I said to Clyde, "Not as much as you'd think."

These last six months have been really rough. We lost Leela, and then my parents only a month after that. And since then I've been trying to get back to normal, but of course I spent so much time on the scholarships and everything. And then this whole war.

But you've been there, Fry. You've been there the whole time. Even on my worst days, which have been often, you've been right here next to me.

I keep thinking about what you did that night after everyone went home. We found a closet for Bender to sleep in, which wasn't easy. Most of my parents' closets were the size of the Professor's lab.

You led me up to my room, and then we stopped outside the door.

I wanted to aks you in, but... well... somehow I just couldn't say it. Finally you just gave me a hug and said, "I'll see you in the morning."

I don't know if you noticed, but I kept standing there outside my door until you disappeared around the corner of the hallway.

When I finally went into my room, I got into bed... but I found myself just sitting there, back against the wall. I just sat there in the dark, I don't know how long.

You thought I was asleep. You tapped so lightly on the door, I almost didn't hear you. And I didn't want the light on, so I guided you to the bed by voice.

And Fry, you wouldn't have known, but as soon as you touched my hand, it was such a comfort to me. I finally had a chance to relax.

And I think that as soon as I relaxed and spread out across the bed, you settled in next to me.

At that moment, I was pretty damn vulnerable.

I mean, I actually wanted to have sex with you.

I know that was about the last thing on your mind. You wouldn't have wanted it, and it probably would have ruined our relationship. But that's how confused I was at that time. I was thinking all sorts of stupid things like that.

So Fry, one of the things I want to say before I go is just, thanks.

For understanding what I've done. For knowing what I've wanted all the time. Just for being willing to sleep in the same bed with me this whole time. It meant so much to me.

And I hope you are still alive, because with you in charge, I know my family's assets will be in good hands. I don't think there's anybody else I'd trust as much as you.

And if I can suggest something to you, just, you know, make sure you keep Hermes around. He is... he's so fucking useful.

I mean, so much shit today is driven by bureaucracy, and having an insider like him, well, it just makes everything easier. He was telling me once that it could have taken weeks or months to get me access to my inheritance. He got it done in, like, three days.

Like I said, I left everything I've got to you, Fry. I know it seems like a lot to handle, but Hermes understands it. He's been helping me out with everything. Running the company, taxes, the scholarship fund, all of that.

And there's the software me, too. She's got a fix on all of that too, and she's done all sorts of models and simulations and stuff. I can't even begin to understand all of that. She's obviously spent a shitload of time studying finances and economics and whatever.

You're the only person who knows about her, and I think you've got to keep it that way. I mean, can you imagine if that technology got into the wrong hands?

Actually, that's probably true of most of the Professor's inventions.

You know, I'm not in as much pain as I would have expected. I can't feel anything in my legs or in my right arm, except for this weird numbness that creeps in every once in a while.

I can't feel anything real, I mean.

I've had a lot of conversations these last few days, mostly with Leela. A few with my parents.

And then some with you, Fry.

That's why I'm so... nervous? Anxious?

No, a lot worse than that.

Anyway, whenever I have those conversations, I can always feel Leela's hand, or your hand, or my mother's hand, holding my right hand.

And the strange part is, those conversations always feel so normal at the time. Like, Leela and I have talked about movies, about music, about Remi, all sorts of stuff like that.

And it's not until a lot later that I actually remember that she's... that she's dead.

I remember the first time I had one of those talks with you, Fry.

I think it was right before I fell asleep, and I guess it could have been a dream. But I'm pretty sure that none of those talks were dreams. They just didn't feel like any of the dreams I was having about Leela before I got stuck down here.

After I woke up, that talk we had started to come back to me. The first thing I remembered was the warmth of your hand in mine.

I mean, it's been pretty cold and damp down here. But your hand felt so warm. It's too bad it was just a phantom sensation.

As my brain cleared up, I could remember some of the things that we'd talked about. We'd talked about blernsball, the scholarship fund, things like that.

I said to myself that I was finally getting new cast members. All of my previous conversations were with... you know... people I'd killed.

And then I thought about that.

If I'd only been talking to people I'd killed, and then Fry, I was saying to myself, doesn't that mean that Fry is...

I keep coming back to that thought.

If you are alive, Fry, I hope you'll be able to get over all this. I mean, I know you weren't in love with me, but we have had a special friendship. I hope you'll never forget that.

And if you're not alive... well... maybe it's just as well that I'm about to die too.

I talked to Leela a lot that week she was going out with you. I don't know if guys talk about every detail of their dates like girls do, but she and I were talking about everything.

To be honest, Fry, I was amazed at what she said about the sex.

Because when we were dating, well, it wasn't quite like that.

Don't take this the wrong way or anything, but you weren't the best I've ever had. You're probably not in my top ten, actually.

In terms of sex, I mean. Counting the whole relationship, you're in first place by a huge margin.

It's just that when we had sex, it wasn't that great as sex goes. You probably know that old saying about sex being like pizza – even if it's bad, it's still pretty good. It wasn't quite like that, but it's just that, you know, I have had better.

Anyway, sometime that week you and Bender went to get, I don't know, glue or something, and so Leela and I were sitting in the hangar talking about you and her.

And she said, "I just love the way he wakes me up."

And I was like, "Yeah? What's that?"

She said, "Well, Monday morning, I wake up, and I feel something down below. Something light, soft, but then suddenly it's something a lot more intense. And so I start to curl my legs and turn over, and I hear this sharp 'Ow!' from under the sheets. So I lift up the sheets, and he's under there holding his head. I'd kneed him in the side of his head! I mean, he's lucky I didn't hurt him. He could have bit his tongue. I just felt so stupid."

So I said, "You felt stupid? That's a first."

And she was just like, "Yeah. Whatever. Anyway, he did that this morning too, with more success."

Then she aksed me, "Have you ever had anyone do that to you?"

I told her I hadn't, and she said, "You'll like it. Trust me. I just hope we don't break up. No way in hell I'm going back to alarm clocks."

I aksed her, "Do you think you will?"

She was like, "What?"

And I said, "Break up?"

And she was like, "Why? You want him to wake you up like that?"

And I was like, "No. I want Kif to wake me up like that."

She laughed a little, but then she said, "No, I don't think we'll break up. I mean, he obviously cares so much for me, and, well, I like being with him too. It's just so far ahead of any other relationship I've ever been in. I'm... I'm wondering why I didn't give him a chance earlier."

And then I said to her, "So, have you set a date yet?"

She just looked up at me and said, "Yeah, you're real funny."

She blew it off, yeah, but there was something about the look she gave me. Something that said she was thinking about marriage.

Fry, I know you kept saying you wanted her to say it, that she loved you. But things like that, that's how I know that she did. The way she held your hand at the conference table. The way she smiled at you when she was flying the ship. The way she stared at you when you left the room.

And besides that, I kept bugging her to tell you. And of course, there would have been one easy way for her to make me stop nagging her like that, and that was to tell me that she wasn't in love with you.

You know why she never said that?

Because it wasn't true.

I mean, really, how much more proof do you need?

I hope the scholarship program goes well. The money we've got invested in it so far should keep it going indefinitely. And hopefully there'll be no shortage of candidates.

I mean, I was blown away by the field this year. There are some great students in there. I hope they all turn out like Leela, but, you know, even if we only get one really good one in a century, it'll still be worth it.

And Remi's been outstanding so far. She hasn't even started college yet. I had to keep reminding myself of that.

I know you weren't involved with the construction of the clinic, Fry, but I was, and it seemed like a breeze. Everything was running smoothly. All of that started with her.

One night there was actually some down time, and so I got a chance to talk to her. You've probably talked to her more than me, and so you might know all of this.

The first time I saw her, I thought she was kind of cute, for a mutant at least. I mean, let's be honest. The mutants are great people and everything, but some of them are nasty as hell.

But I kind of like the way Remi looks. I mean, she looks like a big cat, like a panther or something. She's even got the ears, and the nose, and the black fur. And those little paws are just so adorable. It's too bad the extra pairs of legs ruin it. At least for me.

Anyway, we talked a little bit about how things went that day. And then I aksed her about her parents.

She was all like, "I don't know what the hell's wrong with them. Whenever I go upstairs to study, they're always like, 'You sure you don't want to go to the driving range tonight?' I don't like anything they like, and they don't like anything I like. I think they read one too many of those self help books about parenting. I just want them to leave me alone."

And I said to her, "Yeah. I was like that too."

Then she said to me, "You miss them?"

I said, "Yeah."

And she said, "Yeah. I mean, don't get me wrong. If something like that happened to them, I'd miss them too. It's just, you know, right now I want them to keep their distance. I won't be like that when I have kids."

I aksed her what she would be like, and she said, "I don't know. I'd make more of an effort to try to understand them. People tend to dismiss the way their children feel, you know? Especially at our age."

I decided not to point out the six year gap between us.

Anyway, she said, "Everyone makes such a fuss about experience, and yeah, that's important. But young people can also make valuable contributions, I think. Because they haven't gotten settled yet. Because their minds work differently. They haven't decided on some of the paths, some of the methods that old people have."

Then I aksed her, "So are you going to become a child psychologist?"

And she was like, "I don't know. Maybe. I mean, I'm definitely thinking about med school after college. As far as what I'll study there, it's still a long way off. I'll just think about undergrad for now."

And I said, "Yeah, sometimes you don't want to think too far ahead."

She was like, "What do you mean?"

And I said, "Well, look at Leela. She absolutely had to plan ahead. She couldn't live for the moment at all. I mean, one time we went bowling. She took so long standing there at the lane before she bowled, and finally I aksed her what the hell she was doing. And she said something like, 'Well, I want to make sure I leave a good arrangement for the next ball. Because I know I like, never roll strikes. And I don't want to leave splits all the time. So I've got to try to take down as many as I can on one side.'"

Well, Remi stared at me for a sec, and then she said, "She was like that? Really?"

And I was like, "Yeah."

She goes, "No kidding?"

And I said, "Yeah. She was. Haven't you heard that about her?"

She said, "Yeah, of course I have. I just figured it was an exaggeration."

And I said, "Well, that's the thing about her. You can't exaggerate anything about her."

Then she said to me, "Can't exaggerate? Why not?"

I said, "Well, look at her life. Born in the sewers to mutant parents, left at an orphanarium, graduates and gets a job, which she ditches based upon the advice of a guy she's barely met, gets a new job that she has no prior experience for, somehow ends up incredibly good at it, and gets killed just as she's finally falling for that guy she worked with for years. I mean, you couldn't come up with a more farfetched story."

And then there was another pause, and Remi said, "You really liked her."

I was like, "Yeah. Of course I did."

So she got up, and she aksed if I wanted to stop at her place. I agreed, and so she turned around toward the exit, but then she just stopped. And after a second she looked over her shoulder at me and said, "Well, come on. Get on."

Of course, I was just like, "What?"

And she said, "I'll give you a ride."

And I was all like, "I can't ride you."

And she was like, "Sure you can. Everybody does."

But I hesitated some more, until finally she was like, "Look, just get on. We'll talk about it on the way."

So I mounted her.

As she ran off toward her trailer, she started to explain it.

She said, "Look, every one of us is different in some way. And everybody's good at something. Well, some mutants are more different than others, and some are good at something that's more obvious than others. Like, you wouldn't aks me to lift a crate if Moose is around, and you wouldn't have him carry someone if I'm around."

So then we got to her trailer, and I climbed down off her. As we went inside, I noticed that she didn't seem to show any signs of fatigue. No heavy breathing, no sweating, nothing. And she'd been running pretty damn fast.

I aksed her about that, and she was just like, "Yeah. You see what I mean? I can carry, like, two or three people without breaking a sweat. So why wouldn't you take advantage of that?"

You know, that did kind of make sense. They seem to be big on making sure people do what they're best at. Kind of like the whole thing about the career chips.

Except, you know, it works.

If you haven't been inside her trailer, Fry, it's pretty funny. She's really only got one room, and one side is covered in cushions and pillows and stuff. Then she's got a kitchen on the other side. But you won't find any chairs, which puzzled me for a moment until I turned to look at her body again.

She said, "Have a seat," when we got inside.

I settled in on the cushions, and she threw her backpack aside before she started to pull some pots and dishes from the cupboards. She aksed me, "Got any plans for dinner?"

I told her I didn't, and so she said, "I'm grilling some squid. Want some?"

So I ended up having dinner with her. Her boyfriend was working late at the town that night. Although since you were working with him, you probably remember that night.

As she was cooking, I aksed her if she thought they would be able to secede. She told me, "Well, it's pretty easy to relinquish Earth citizenship, and, you know, Choto says once we do that, we can do whatever the hell we want. I think the big problem is going to be establishing diplomatic relations with other planets. Especially Earth, you know? They probably won't be too eager to invite an ambassador over."

I said, "So are we going to be, like, an independent planet?"

She was like, "I think that's the idea. I mean, I think we at least want to be affiliated with the DOOP, and once we've done that, you know, maybe we can try to push for mutants' rights back on Earth."

So I said, "What kind of flag would we have?"

She said, "I don't know. How about a purple one?"

Then I cut a couple of rolls in half and put them on the grill. I was kind of staring at the flames for a moment when I heard her say that it was ready.

She's a pretty good cook. I don't know whether she got that from her parents, or if she picked it up on her own, or what. But if you get a chance, you should have dinner with her.

Anyway, as we were eating, she suddenly said, "Wonder if we're going to have our own TV channel."

That thought kind of amused me, and I aksed her, "What would we have on?"

She was like, "I don't know. Local news, definitely. Maybe, like, home and gardening for mutants. Mutant game shows. Mutant sports. You know. Stuff like that."

When she finished, she put her plate aside and turned to me.

By the way, when I came into her trailer, I thought she had a hell of a lot of cushions, but she needs them all. The way she has to sit, she takes up quite a bit of space. But at least there were some left over for me.

Anyway, she said to me, "So... when we're done here... what are your plans?"

I was like, "Plans? For what?"

She said, "Well, I mean, you're probably not going to settle here, right? Are you going to live on Mars? Earth? What?"

I told her I didn't know, and she seemed to accept that.

Then she said, "It's just... well... I want to make sure you don't feel like you don't belong here. Because I think you would. And most of the people I know feel like that too. I mean, yeah, a lot of us resent the normals. But we resent them for locking us down in the sewers for so long. And, you know, you and Fry obviously aren't like that."

Actually, at that point I was already pretty sure I wanted to stay here on Epsilon Eridani 4.

And of course, now I'll die here too.

Anyway, she said, "Well, really, besides that, I also wanted to say thanks."

And I was like, "What for?"

She pointed to the corner, where her trophy was sitting.

She said, "I wish I had, like, a display case for it, or something."

I didn't think it looked right just sitting on the floor either.

Then she said to me, "You know, I still can't believe it sometimes. I'm really going to Mars University. I... do you know how much I've wanted to study outside the mutant community?"

I told her, "Well, you were the most deserving candidate."

She was like, "Yeah, that's the other thing I can't get over. I thought it was going to be either Roderick or Garel. When I got that call from you, I was just in total shock."

I said, "Yeah, that's what it sounded like."

She smiled a little bit and said, "Yeah, I bet I did sound like that. But really, why me? Why did you guys pick me?"

I told her, "Well, I wasn't on the selection board. But Fry told me that he saw a lot of Leela in you."

Tell her that yourself, Fry. You'll see her brighten.

I continued, "I mean, you're really smart. You're driven, you're motivated, you even have a little bit of a mean streak."

She was like, "I bet most other scholarships don't take that into account."

And I was like, "Well, the Leela Fund isn't your usual scholarship, is it?"

She smiled again, but I could see a little bit of nervousness building in her.

I aksed what it was, and she said, "Oh, nothing. It's just... well... I'm the first."

I was like, "Yeah?"

And she said, "So... you know... I've got this massive responsibility to succeed."

And I aksed, "What do you mean?"

When she picked up one of the cushions and held it tightly to her chest, suddenly she went back to looking like an insecure seventeen year old again, instead of the leader of a construction project.

She said, "Well, look. Right now the Leela Fund is known for one thing, Leela. And because of her, everyone attaches so much prestige to it. But before long, we're going to have another generation who won't know who she was. They'll see the whole thing differently. Whether or not they'll consider it as prestigious as we do, well, that's up to me. If Leela Scholars are successful individuals who make a difference and live up to the standards we're being held to, the Leela Fund will continue to be the biggest thing on this planet. The announcement every year will be a huge event, and everyone will be talking about it. But if I end up as, you know, some lackey somewhere, everybody will be like, 'What the hell's this?', you know? The whole thing will suffer. Nobody will be getting behind it. Just like, you know, Leela needed your support and Fry's support. Well, the Leela Fund needs the people's support. And I'm the one who has to earn it."

As I was listening to her, I had one thought. So I told it to her.

I said, "That's exactly why we want you."

She was like, "What are you talking about?"

And I told her, "Look, Leela had such high expectations for everyone, especially herself. That's something else you've got in common with her. You've got high standards for the program, and for yourself. People will recognise that. No matter how you end up, if you continue to work hard like you are, if you fight for what you believe in, people will respond to that and treat you with respect."

But she shook her head and said, "You will, but most of the people I know are telling me to study politics. They want me to end up as supreme mutant someday. Either that or some lifesaving surgeon. I can't let them all down."

We were quiet for a moment. Then she said, "Can I aks you something, Amy?"

And I was like, "Sure."

She aksed, "What do people think of you on Mars?"

I was like, "What do you mean?"

She said, "Well, you're the most important person on Mars, right? If you moved to another planet, wouldn't that affect the planet's economy? I mean, how many people on Mars make a living from your company?"

I told her, "At least ten percent."

And she was like, "You see? Is that planet really sustainable on its own? Without you around to keep pumping cash in, Mars's economy might collapse. How do people feel about that?"

I said, "I don't know. I never really paid that much attention to what was going on on Mars. It just never felt like my planet, you know? Everything there seemed to be connected to my parents in some way. At least on Earth I could kind of start from scratch."

Then she said, "So... do you feel responsible for Mars's economy?"

And I had to think about that one.

I mean, Mars is a big planet. It can take care of itself.

Well, that's what it seems like.

But maybe she's right about that. If we ever shut down the buggalo ranch, what would Martians do for a living? Tourism? Mars isn't a big tourist draw, I think.

Finally I said, "Well, nobody put me in charge of Mars's economy. My responsibilities now are to this planet, and to the Buggalo Group."

But she said, "I wish I could shirk responsibility like that."

I was like, "I'm not shirking it. It's really not my job. You can't expect me to do everything like that."

She said, "Yeah. I guess you're right."

Leela's holding my hand now.

It's just another one of those phantom sensations I've been getting in my right hand, the one trapped under the débris.

But it does feel like her hand. I can actually feel the rough palm, the chipped fingernails, and even a little cut on the side of her thumb.

And the engagement ring on her finger.

Fry, I don't know if you still have dreams about her. I do, though.

I don't have them very often, but when I do, they just seem to be getting more and more fucked up.

I had one where I had my entire arm in her.

Well, it wasn't as nasty as it sounds.

Or, I don't know, Fry. Maybe you don't think it's nasty. Maybe it turns you on. Nothing wrong with that.

Anyway, well, this was a dream that I had not long after we moved out here. We'd just started building the clinic, and you'd just started in Jenningsville. That day had been a long one – it was when some of the materials had been damaged on the way in, and Remi had to get us all together to try to fix them.

So, in the dream, I was standing in the mess hall of the ship. I think I might have been reading a magazine or something. Leela walked in and said, "There you are. I was looking for you."

So I said, "What for?"

She said, "Can you come with me for a sec?"

I said okay, and she led me up to her quarters.

By the way, Fry, I know we haven't used her old quarters for anything yet. But it doesn't really make sense to have a whole empty room on there, so I was thinking, you know, maybe you could turn it into a gym or something. You know, if you want to.

I think she would have liked that.

Anyway, we went up to her quarters, and then she took me into her washroom. She said, "I just really need a bath." And she turned on the faucet.

You're probably aksing yourself if there was a bathtub in her washroom that you've forgotten about.

No, there's no tub in there. Didn't stop me from dreaming about it, though.

The bathtub was huge. It was, like, the size of her entire cabin. And somehow it was still contained within her washroom. Not that it makes any sense or anything, but like she said in one of my other dreams, it's a dream. It doesn't have to make sense.

She started to take off her boots, and then she aksed me, "How's the water? Is it too hot or anything?"

I put a hand in, and then I said to her, "No, it's fine."

And when I looked back at her, she'd already taken off all her clothes. She had her scrunchie out, too.

I don't know about you, Fry, but I always thought her purple pubic hair was funny.

Actually, you only got to see it that last week, I guess. And maybe on a few other occasions.

Anyway, she stepped into the tub and eased herself into the water. It looked like she thought it was hot, but it had been okay to me.

Then she turned to me and said, "Just going to stand and watch?"

She pulled the drawstring on my pants, and they just fell right down.

I'd been wearing my pink sweatsuit. You know, like I used to wear all the time. And I had my hair up, in the style that I always had it back when I was wearing that pink outfit. And my skin tone was tanned again.

So I ended up taking off the rest of my clothes and sliding into the water next to her.

She stretched out for a bit before she said to me, "Are you building a planet?"

I was like, "Yeah. Basically."

She said, "From scratch?"

I said, "Almost. There are those old buildings still left."

And she said, "Left from what?"

I said, "There used to be a city here. They moved out a hundred years ago or so."

She aksed me, "Who's 'they'?"

And I told her, "There were some settlers here. They were probably from Earth."

She said, "Humans?"

I said, "Yeah."

She was like, "Why did they settle here?"

I said, "They had a mine a few kilometres out of town."

She aksed, "What were they mining?"

So I said, "Dysprosium, I think. Something like that."

She said, "Dysprosium?"

I said, "Yeah."

She said, "Explains why they moved out."

And I was like, "It does?"

She said to me, "Yeah. About that time they discovered a system over in the Scutum Arm. Has, like, these big asteroids made almost completely out of dysprosium. Bottom fell out of the dysprosium market, like, overnight."

And you know what's weird?

I looked it up. There is a system in the Scutum Arm that has asteroids that are, like, eighty percent dysprosium. And it was discovered around 2900.

How the hell would I have known that?

Anyway, then she said, "I hope your economy isn't based on a dysprosium mine."

And I was like, "No, we're building a clinic."

And then she just gave me this funny look.

I said, "Well, there are some really good mutant doctors."

And she said, "But a clinic? Is that really going to pull in money?"

I told her, "We think it is. Choto has been running the numbers. She figured we could do it if we become, like, a war clinic."

She was like, "A war clinic?"

I said, "Yeah."

And she said, "Define?"

I was like, "Well, at any time there are, like, five or six different wars going on around the galaxy. Choto figures that if some of the governments involved are willing to pay an annual fee for, I guess it's kind of a membership, then we'd treat any of their wounded soldiers."

She was like, "Yeah, but wars! There can be a lot of casualties. Can you treat all of them?"

I said, "Choto seems to think so. She said she went back over the statistics from some of the wars going on now. There were only, like, a couple of days over the past two years where there would have been too many patients for us. And even when that happens, we could refer the less serious ones to other facilities."

And Leela said, "What about the governments? Do you really expect them to sign up to something like that?"

I said, "Yeah. Choto figured that out too. She says we could charge them less than they pay for their own health care and still make enough to sustain the planet."

She was like, "But would they agree to that? That's basically outsourcing your entire medical industry. Aren't their doctors going to complain?"

I was like, "Choto says a lot of the planets that are fighting wars now have understaffed civilian hospitals. Military doctors could go there. And we'd have to hire some of them anyway so that we'd have experts on their species."

Then she said, "Yeah, that's another thing. What makes you think mutant doctors would be qualified to treat whichever species happens to be fighting wars?"

I said, "I don't know. But a lot of them have been studying exophysiology for a while now, like, years before we ever came up with this idea. They've never had a chance to practise it. Unless you count on their patients. And look at some of the mutants. They almost have exophysiologies themselves."

She started to laugh. Then we both stretched out across the tub. She rolled over and put her hands on the rim. She rested her chin on her hands and then turned to me.

She said, "Do you buy Choto's figures?"

I was like, "Well, yeah. She wouldn't lie. Especially about something like this."

And then Leela said, "Yeah, but are you sure she hasn't made a mistake?"

That had honestly never crossed my mind.

And it's a good thing I had that dream, because, Fry, you probably remember that day I called Hermes in to look over Choto's work. He caught some errors. Important ones. I mean, with the original fee amount, we wouldn't have broken even.

But then suddenly she was like, "So whose idea was this, anyway?"

I said, "What? The clinic, or liberating the mutants?"

She acted all surprised about that. She was like, "You're liberating the mutants now? Building a clinic isn't enough for you? How are you liberating the mutants?"

And I said, "Well, you know how things have been for them. They're banned from the surface. Repressed. Unrepresented. They're vilified if normals ever see them. They didn't have anything to look forward to."

Then she said, "So you just decided to 'liberate' them?"

I told her, "Yeah. Well, Fry came up with the idea. He thought they needed a planet of their own. He said that was the only way they could get a fair shake. And they agreed with him."

She aksed, "So what about the clinic? Where does that fit in?"

I said, "Choto and I worked it out. I'd met a lot of their doctors, and you know something? I was really impressed with their abilities. I watched a surgery on a little baby boy with a malformed heart. I mean, that sort of thing would have been fatal back in Fry's time. And normals, we just genetically engineer them out. But all they have is surgery, and they're so good at it. They said that sort of thing is routine for them. So I aksed them if they could do that sort of thing for others. They told me about what they'd been studying. And then Choto put together her plan. I think it'll work."

Then she said, "Well, just, you know, keep an eye out. Earth might not be all that happy to let you guys declare independence."

I said, "Yeah. I know."

She went on, "You might have to start treating casualties earlier than you wanted."

Just like so many of my other dreams about her, she was exactly right.

But then she said, "But there are some people missing."

So I said, "Yeah, a lot of them are going to stay back on Earth. Especially the older ones. It's their home and everything. I was kind of hoping your parents would come, but they don't want to leave."

She was like, "Yeah. I know. They told me they lived in that house ever since they got married. They said I was born there. Don't think they'll ever move out."

The air in the washroom started to feel cold. I sank a little further into the water, letting the warm waves wash over my breasts.

After a moment, Leela rolled over onto her back and took my hand. She brought it down between her legs and pushed my fingers into her.

I looked up at her, all surprised. She just leaned over and kissed me.

I don't know what kissing her felt like to you, Fry. I just hope it was worth everything you went through to get there.

Anyway, to me, it was actually sort of like kissing a guy. Her lips were rough, sometimes chapped, like a guy's. And the colour contrasted so much with her pale skin, it looked like she was always wearing lipstick, even though she never did. She had a girl's smooth face, but I usually associate that with smooth, lipsticked lips.

I bet I sound like a complete bisexual. But I've never really thought about it like that. I mean, yeah, I've done it with girls, but that sort of thing is common these days. It's just that I always expected to settle down with a guy. For a while now, I've been hoping that it would be you, but you obviously haven't been ready for that.

But that time when I kissed her, it was a little different. Still no lipstick, but I hardly ever wear lipstick either. Her lips were much smoother, though. Much softer. If they'd been like that all the time, I might have found her irresistible.

Anyway, she just kept moving my fingers, and I focussed on those feelings. In fact, before I knew it, I opened my eyes, and all I could see was my shoulder, and then her legs. I looked up and saw the sweetest smile on her face, kind of like when she stared at you. Her eye was shut, and she was biting her lip.

I woke up right after that.

There are still a few other things I wanted to talk about, Fry. Like the scholarship program.

You don't really know anybody at Mars University, other than Professor Farnsworth, so it'll be kind of hard for you to work that end of it. The president there is new. She's an electrical engineering professor, and she's been on the faculty for a while, so she's got the trust of a lot of people there. So she'll be a good friend to have.

She was kind of reluctant to approve the program. But what she likes about it is the way it raises the prestige of Mars U in the mutants' eyes. That, and the money we're paying for it, of course.

And the good thing about it is that the applicants have a pretty good chance at being accepted to Mars U, even the ones who don't win the scholarship. I guess none of this year's applicants will be going there besides Remi, but make sure you let them know every year that the school might still accept them even if they don't end up winning the scholarship.

By the way, you and I talked about this already, but talking about the Mars U president makes me think of something else.

The first time I met with her, I had on my old outfit, with my old hairstyle. And during that whole meeting, I felt kind of... well... self conscious.

She didn't say anything about what I was wearing. It was just the way I felt. I thought that, well, I didn't have the right appearance for someone in my position.

I don't know if you'll understand what I mean, but I just felt like it was time for a change.

When you were in the shower that one morning, I was sitting in front of the mirror, just trying out hairstyles. I tried tying it all into a little ponytail. I tried brushing it back. I tried parting it. I even tried a bun, which looked as gl'orky as it sounds.

In the end I just let it all hang down and had the cutbot shorten it to just above chin level, and I think that's when you came out of the shower and saw me.

It's not like I did it just for you, but I was really hoping you would like it. I just didn't count on you not noticing it.

Remember that? I said to you, "So... what do you think?"

And you were just like, "About what?"

And I was like, "My hair, moron."

And you said, "Oh, yeah, I guess it is different, isn't it?"

Actually, now that I think about it, you were just messing with me, weren't you?

You told me, "I think I liked it before."

I said, "But that was when I was trying to be cute."

And you aksed me, "You don't want to be cute any more?"

I was like, "No. I think the cute me is dead. She died when my parents did."

You said, "Really?"

And I said, "Or maybe when Leela did. Well, maybe that put the cute me into a coma, and then the plug got pulled when my parents died."

You said, "Yeah. That's kinda what happened with the stupid me."

And then I couldn't resist saying, "No, the stupid you is still standing right there."

You were like, "Oh yeah, you're right. I forgot."

I always liked the way you could handle jokes like that, Fry. You never took yourself too seriously.

Anyway, after that was when we got rid of all my pink sweatsuits. I just felt like I couldn't wear them any longer.

But you were the one who suggested that we give them to the mutants.

I wasn't sure if there were any who could wear them. I figured there was a chance that one of them was the same size as me.

But there were those two sisters, and then that one other girl that we saw. You probably remember the sisters. They came up to us once when we were going to a meeting, and they said, "Hey! Miss Wong! We just wanted to say, thanks so much! These are, like, the best outfits! We're the coolest kids in school!"

And I was just like, "Well, thank Fry. It was his idea to give them to you."

They were just going on and on about it, about how their classmates had started to treat them differently. And I guess those clothes were a lot different than the beaten, worn, threadbare stuff that most mutants wear.

I don't know about you, but that was when I really started to get a sense of how much they wanted stuff, really anything, from the surface.

And maybe that's how you got the idea to get them a surface of their own.

Anyway, talking about my clothes, I never really got a chance to explain my shirt to you, did I?

We haven't talked about it. Maybe the symbolism was just that obvious, but if you didn't figure out what my shirt meant, Fry, I guess I'll just tell you now.

I like the cargo pants because of all the pockets. I've had to carry around a lot of stuff lately, and I always hated purses. Cargo pants are way better. When I first started to wear them, the only pair I had was olive green. So that's why all the pairs I have now are that colour.

And I don't really like tight pants, so I always let them hang loose. So, they tended to ride low and show my panties. You might have liked that, but really, I didn't care if people were seeing my panties. What the hell difference would it make, anyway?

The shirts I've been wearing are programmable. I could put different designs on them if I wanted, but I wound up putting the same thing on all of them.

They're black, for obvious reasons. You might have thought it was odd that I was still wearing shirts that expose my midriff, after what I said about not wanting to be cute any more. But I just like it that way. And it's not like it's that cute with cargo pants anyway.

There's those four thin horizontal stripes running across, just above chest level. With the small number four on the front and the bigger one on the back, you might have thought it was some team's jersey. I put in those numbers to make it look like that, but that's not it.

The number means the four of us, and so do the stripes. The top one's pink, for me. Then the purple one, for Leela. Then the red one for you, and the silver one for Bender.

I even gave some thought to the order. You and Leela are next to each other, of course. Bender's next to you, and then I'm next to Leela.

Actually... you know what I just thought about?

It's funny. I've worn those shirts for a few months now, and I only realised this just now.

That's the order we'd be standing in – were standing in – at your wedding.

Bender on one side as your best manbot, then you and her, and then me as her maid of honour.

Fry... you and I have spent a lot of time together, especially lately. But there are a few moments that really stand out.

One of them was when I woke up after Zoidberg put your head on my body. I was freaking out about that, because I knew there was a big chance of something going wrong. I mean, they don't do that kind of operation every day.

That, and, well, it was Zoidberg doing the operation.

But I came to, and I saw you breathing, so it seemed like it had gone okay.

And, to be honest, I would have done that even if we weren't going out at the time. I knew how you felt about Leela – everybody did, except for her – and so I was treating our relationship as just, you know, a chance for regular sex.

Then I started to fall in love with you.

The thing was, it didn't stop after we broke up. I'm not even sure it stopped when I started dating Kif.

But you probably know all that by now anyway.

Anyway, there were some other moments I remember. Like seeing you trudge down the steps of the ship after you guys blew up those chronotons, in even deeper despair than when you left.

The two of you walking into the conference room that Monday morning, holding hands. And Hermes staring at you guys and then saying, "Attention, everyone. Dis meeting's postponed on account of de Jamaican fruit bats dat have obviously settled into me Jamaican fruit belfry."

You listening for her heartbeat.

You, standing over her casket, telling us to demand the best from ourselves.

You giving Remi the trophy.

I really like the trophy. When Jeanette sketched it out, I don't think I really got a good sense of it. Someone else drew another sketch, and then I started to see what it was.

We talked a lot about the shape of the column. We were going back and forth for a while, between circular, elliptical, and rectangular. But then we started to make prototypes, and then someone decided to make a star shaped column.

And then I'm not really sure why I volunteered to make the calls. I think it was mostly because of all the time you guys had spent choosing her. I mean, I think it made sense. You were responsible for picking the winner. I was responsible for notifying her.

I called the other seven finalists first. Some of them were more disappointed. Roderick, especially. It seemed like he thought he was going to win. But he took it well. I mean, he recognised that all of them were great candidates. Hell, I don't even know how you guys made that decision.

So I told the other seven the same thing, how they weren't the winners, and I couldn't tell them who was the winner.

Finally, I got Remi on the line.

She was lying across the floor of her room. She had a pair of headphones around her neck and a magazine in her hand. Basically, she looked like any other teenager.

She said, "Hey, Amy. How's the meeting? Have they adjourned for the day?"

I was like, "Yeah, they have."

She said, "That's good. Thought they'd keep going all night."

So I said, "Remi, they've made the decision. They chose you."

She just said, "Yeah. Whatever. How much longer, really?"

And then I told her, "I'm serious, Remi. They chose you. You're the first Turanga Leela Scholar."

You know Fry, at first I didn't understand why you didn't want to have a formal announcement. You said you wanted the winner to be able to prepare an acceptance speech and all that, but I didn't agree with that.

But seeing everyone's reactions, I think you were right. I think it does make more sense to notify them in private.

Anyway, after I told Remi, she was just staring at me. She was like, "You... you mean it? Me?"

I said, "Yeah. Fry just told me."

She started to shake her head a little bit. She said, "Wh... why?"

I told her, "You know they can't talk about that. Everyone on the committee is destroying their notes right now."

She was sitting up now, just staring at me.

So I went on, "We'll come by tomorrow and get your signatures on all the forms, okay?"

She was just like, "Yeah, okay. Yeah."

And I said, "Remi?"

She said, "Yeah?"

I said, "Congratulations, Remi."

She said, "Oh. Yeah. Right. Right. Ummm... thanks."

She was a lot more coherent the next day, when we brought the forms for her. After you took them back to Hermes, I stayed and talked with her a bit more. Finally I aksed her, "So do you have something to wear for the banquet?"

And suddenly she was like, "Oh, crap! I completely forgot! No, I don't have anything. I should aks Becky. She works at Robinsons-Mutant. I'll –"

Finally I was just like, "No, don't. I'll take care of it."

She tried to talk me out of it, but I didn't care. I made a call. It took me a couple of minutes to convince them that I was in fact who I said I was, but then they put me through to Gabbotna herself, from Dolce and Gabbotna.

She was like, "Hello Amy! I haven't had a chance to meet you in person yet, have I? They tell me you're very fond of my work?"

I said, "Yeah, that's true. That's kind of why I'm calling. I want to know if I can commission something from you."

She said, "Absolutely, darling! Anything for a sweet young checkbook enabled organism such as yourself! What is it you require?"

So I told her, "Well, a friend of mine needs a dress for this Saturday."

She aksed me, "So what kind of friend? Male or female?"

I sighed, "Female, of course."

And she said, "Hey, it never hurts to aks. The last time I malfunctioned and failed to aks that question, I ended up with a very unpleasant surprise. So, a dress for Saturday? Eminently doable."

And I said, "There's one other thing."

She was like, "What's that, buttercup?"

I said, "She's a mutant."

She aksed, "What, like in the sewer?"

I told her, "Yeah. That's where I'm calling you from, in fact."

And she said, "Okay, but is this dress going to a good home? I mean, if she's going to be traipsing around in radioactive sludge, I don't need to send it to a mutant. I can get my own radioactive sludge, you know, slop it all over the fabric, get people rolling around in... hey, you know what, that's a good idea for our ad campaign this fall."

Then we heard her shout to someone else, "Rach? Radioactive sludge this fall!... What do you mean why? You do not aks me why! When I say radioactive sludge, the only question I expect from you is 'What isotope?'! Am I understood?"

And then she said to us, "Now then, this is a mutant? What sort of a mutant?"

So I held out my wrist and pointed the camera at Remi. I aksed Gabbotna, "Can you see her?"

She answered, "Yes, I can. Hello, darling."

And Remi was like, "Hi. Can you really make me a dress?"

Gabbotna was like, "Can I make you a dress? What kind of question is that? Turn to the side, please?"

Remi turned, and Gabbotna aksed her, "Six legs, my kitten?"

Remi said, "Yeah. That's right."

I said, "Gabbotna, can we have you come down here? Remi's a mutant, so she can't go to your office."

She was like, "Yes, yes, I know all about the plight of mutants. I don't understand the humans' disgust with them at all. I must say, there's nothing repulsive about you at all, my oversized purring device."

I saw Remi blush a little bit.

Gabbotna went on, "So can I come down and meet you tonight, get measurements, find out what you want, all of that?"

So Gabbotna came to the Rolurra house that night.

I met her down there, and as I walked in, she shouted at me, "Amy, darling! So wonderful to finally meet you!" And she gave me that fake kiss on each cheek, that thing models and designers do.

Do real people ever do that? Or is it just people in the fashion industry?

Well, whatever, she brought me in and told me, "I just finished taking our sweet little Remi's measurements. She's 191-91-102-74-293-38-88-97. I know what you're thinking about that hip measurement, and no, it's only because of all the legs. Now then, colour. Every woman, of course, needs her little black dress, so they say. But of course, the women they say that about don't have black fur already. So, we do different things. You might want black dress anyway. But this occasion, I was thinking red. That's just what I think. What about you?"

Remi seemed like she was caught by surprise at that pause. She said to Gabbotna, "Well, um, yeah. Red. Or maybe, like, purple?"

Gabbotna sounded kind of intrigued. "Purple. Like dark purple? Yes, with your fur, something like dark purple. With a shine? Yes, hang on. One moment please."

She sat down and pulled a laptop out of her briefcase. She started typing and then projected a purple dress onto Remi's body. It had a faint, satiny shine to it. The clothes that Remi was wearing at the time were hidden.

She said, "Based on what I saw before, I took the liberty of creating a couple of mockups. Okay. So, we have some options here. Your... what do I call this?"

She was pointing to Remi's lower torso, the part that her back pairs of legs came off of.

Remi was just like, "I just call that my lower back."

And Gabbotna said, "Okay. Your lower back. Covered or uncovered?"

Remi was kind of shocked. "What, like nude? I can't go around like that!"

Gabbotna just said, "No, not completely nude. More like this."

She hit some more keys on the laptop. The projection changed to a different dress.

I liked this style. It was backless, and it also exposed the top of Remi's lower back. It had a couple of strips of fabric over the lower back to keep it on, and then it came up to cover her hindmost ass. Each pair of legs was skirted down to about midway between the knee and ankle.

Gabbotna said, "So we can do either this, or something more like this."

The projection changed again. It was almost exactly the same, but now her lower back was covered entirely.

Remi was trying to twist around to look at her own lower back. Finally Gabbotna noticed and turned on another projection on the other side of the room.

Remi straightened out and said, "Yeah, thanks."

She looked for another couple of minutes. Gabbotna flipped back and forth between the two choices until finally Remi settled on the uncovered style.

We went on like that for a while. Sometimes they aksed me what I thought. But I don't think they needed to, since usually I ended up agreeing with Remi.

They spent a lot of time on the legs. Remi wanted the skirts to dangle down more. She said, "You know, I want them to kind of trail a little bit. But I don't want them so long that I keep stepping on them, you know?"

And Gabbotna was like, "Okay, well, what about the back one? Can we have that one down to the ground?"

Remi was like, "Yeah, okay."

And they worked on it some more, and then they settled on the lengths of the others, about the same as before, down to about the middle of the shin.

They also spent some time on the front. Remi wanted it to plunge down, show a lot of cleavage, and then go all the way down to the navel. Gabbotna said, "Well, if we do it like that, it would never stay on without an adhesive."

Remi was like, "You mean like, I'd have to glue it on?"

Gabbotna said, "Yes. Basically."

So Remi said, "Is there, like, something we can do with the straps here instead?"

So Gabbotna tried adding a pair of crossed straps, starting at the top of the little flaps that covered each breast. They crossed each other and then merged with the shoulder straps.

Finally they turned to me.

I was like, "What?"

Gabbotna aksed me, "What do you think of this, Amy dear? Does it bring out our little Remi's natural beauty, or what?"

I got up from the couch and walked around her. And then I stood next to her for a while, just staring.

Finally I said, "You look like the centre of attention at the débutantes' ball."

And the banquet really did feel like a débutantes' ball, didn't it?

Well, one débutante, at least.

Gabbotna didn't charge me as much as I'd expected. I mean, that must have been a lot of work, piecing together that dress for such an unusual body in such short time. Not to mention the shoes. I didn't think sandals would even work for paws.

I bet she wanted to get in with me early, though. She was hoping to establish a relationship with me, hoping to become my preferred designer.

Which she probably would have been anyway, to be perfectly honest. I've always liked her work. A lot of the stuff in my eveningwear collection is hers.

Anyway, didn't Remi just look so stunning in that dress, with the earrings and necklace she borrowed from me, and the curled hair? I didn't think mutants could be that attractive.

Other than Leela, I mean.

I thought it was a good gesture to recognise the other finalists. I hope they'll all have their plaques hanging proudly in their dorm rooms.

But, of course, the trophy presentation was the most important part of the evening. I remember some of the things you said, Fry.

"What really got me about this whole thing was how difficult the decisions were. We got plenty of applicants, plenty of great applicants. Everyone who sent in their applications is a promising young individual, and you shouldn't feel discouraged at missing out to these people up here tonight. There's absolutely no shame in being runners up to these people. And we're looking forward to all your successes.

"That said, only one of you could be the winner. It's someone who... well, she may not feel like it, but in reality, she has accomplished a lot already. She's written some deep, invasive papers about relations between mutants and normals. She's helped upgrade school science lab equipment. She led the charge for bigger desks at Martin Luther Thing High..."

"During the selection process, people have aksed me: How can you replace Leela? And I say, that's just it. She is irreplaceable. But so is everybody. We all have a different combination of abilities, and shortcomings, and successes, and failures. And we all influence others. That, more than anything else, is what the Turanga Leela Scholarship is. The search for students who will influence others. That's what separated our eventual winner from the other finalists..."

"Well, now we've got a surprise for you. This is the part where I give the trophy, except I don't know what the trophy looks like. Only a few people here at Leela Park today actually know what the trophy looks like. I guess we'll all find out together, then. So, come on up here, Rolurra Remington. You're the inaugural recipient of the Turanga Leela Scholarship. Congratulations."

I was kind of nervous. I was afraid maybe people wouldn't like the design of the trophy. But it seemed like everybody did. I like the circular wooden base. Then there's the star shaped semitranslucent column, capped with the silver surface with TURANGA LEELA SCHOLAR, 3004, ROLURRA REMINGTON etched in it.

The whole thing is about thirty centimetres high, which might seem a little small. But we didn't want a huge trophy. We were more concerned with the details, like the silhouette of Leela inside the column. She looks a little different depending which panel you look through, but she's always staring kind of upward, and the little black stars and galaxies and nebulas at the top really seem to fit.

I may be wrong, Fry, but when you removed the cover, weren't you staring at the trophy for a bit before you remembered to give it to Remi?

She was staring at it, too. I guess that means we did a good job with the design.

I didn't know what to expect from her acceptance speech. I figured it would be sort of like a high school valedictorian's speech, or maybe like an award show speech. But it ended up reminding me more of a campaign speech.

She talked about a lot of high school stuff. Some of the things she did, some of the people she knew. Then she started to talk about how she wanted to make all the mutants proud.

You remember later, Fry, when you and I were talking with her and the Turangas? They said she'd already made the mutants proud.

Of course, she wants to do more than that. She's a little too critical of herself, I think. Maybe you're going to have to keep her goals realistic.

You're going to be really busy, aren't you? I mean, the company has a CEO, so you don't need to be concerned with that full time. But if you're also going to be spending a lot of time on the scholarship program, and at the clinic, and in the government, you're going to work yourself to death.

Fry... there was something else I haven't told you.

A few weeks I went back to New New York to visit Planet Express. When we started building Epsilon Eridani 4, we stopped making the deliveries, of course. I got that new ship for BW and Bender to use on the deliveries, and then Professor Farnsworth and Cubert upgraded the engines.

So a couple of weeks after that, I went back there and had Clyde brief me. We were planning to do that every quarter. Whether you want to continue that, it's up to you.

I stayed kind of late that night. Just about everyone had gone home, and I was wandering around the darkened building when I found myself in the Professor's lab.

And standing on one of the benches was the What-If machine.

So, naturally, I did something I'd wanted to do for a while.

I sat down in front of it, pulled the microphone down toward me, and aksed it: "What if I could undo killing Leela?"

Here's what I saw.

I was sitting at the table in the Planet Express lounge with a cup of coffee, reading the newspaper. The sunlight coming through the window made it look like early morning. I was dressed in my old pink sweatsuit and had my old hairstyle.

Cubert walked in, saying, "So what brings you in this early? The mall not open yet?"

I said, "Shut up, Cubert."

He sat down across from me and said, "Much as I'd like to take your advice, I think I'll decline. So what's biting you?"

I said, "Reality."

And he was like, "It bites all of us. What aspect of it is biting you?"

So I kind of shrugged and said, "Leela."

He said, "Yeah, it's not the same without her around. Fry and Bender used to be good for three stupid acts a day. Now they only do one and a half each week."

I leaned back in my chair and stared at the ceiling. And then I said, "I just wish I could go back and keep all that from ever happening."

He looked up at me and said, "What's that?"

And I was like, "I said I wish I could keep it from happening."

Then suddenly he got up and told me to follow him. We went down to the lab, where he opened up one drawer and searched through it.

I was like, "The hell are you looking for?"

He held up a small red device and said, "This."

It was rectangular, about the right size to fit in your palm. It had a numeric keypad and a display above it, like an antique calculator.

I stared at it and aksed him, "What does this do?"

He was like, "It's a personal chronological reverser. It makes use of the activity of quantum foam to build a tunnel back to a desired time that you enter here."

I said, "So it's a time machine?"

He scoffed, "No, it's not a time machine. That's obviously impossible."

I argued, "It's not impossible. Remember when they all went back in time?"

He was like, "It doesn't matter whether they did it. It's still impossible. But no, this isn't a time machine. It goes back and reconfigures the quantum state of your brain at a previous time to match your present state."

I was giving him a blank stare.

So he was like, "It means you can go back to where you were at some time and try again."

And I said, "So it's like an undo button?"

And he sighed and said, "Yes, it's like an undo button."

After I stared at it for a little longer, I aksed him, "You mean I can go back to when Leela died and stop her from getting shot?"

Of course, by stop her from getting shot, I meant not shoot her.

I mean, you have to understand, Fry. It just kills me to know what I did, to think that everything that's happening now is a direct result of me doing something stupid.

Sometimes the guilt just... it just suffocates me.

You know?

You probably don't. But there have been times when I've been sitting somewhere, or lying in bed, or talking to someone, when suddenly I just... I don't know... I just go numb. I can't move or say anything, and I even have trouble breathing.

And about the only thing I can do is think of her.

I had them a lot those first few weeks after she died. They haven't happened very much since we started on the clinic, but I did have one the day I got stuck down here.

Anyway, on the What-If machine, Cubert told me how it worked, how I should enter the amount of time that I wanted to go back.

I aksed if he'd tested it. He said, "No, I was going to test it on a lower life form. Lucky I found you."

Then suddenly he went "Oof!" and bent over out of the frame. He squeaked, "But on the other hand, your knee is a formidable weapon."

We tried to work out how much time it had been. He told me to set it back a little more than we really needed, just to be sure. I aksed him why.

He said, "Because there's no way to adjust it. Let's say you wind up going back to, like, a second after she dies. Then you can't do anything to stop it, obviously. And then you'd have to live through these past few weeks again until I finish inventing this and you have another chance."

I aksed him, "Wouldn't I still have this?"

He told me, "Of course not. It can only take your mind back. It would be impossible to take any objects back. So if you miss your chance, you'd have no choice but to live through all that again waiting for me to invent it again."

As I was watching this, I thought back to the flight home, having to tell her parents, the funeral, the fight against Robot Santa, New Year's, my father's execution.

The thought of doing all of that all over again would make me sick.

We ended up with an answer of 44 days and 12 hours, so that meant this would have taken place on the 26th of January.

After I entered the time, I sat there for a while just staring at the device.

I aksed Cubert, "What if it fails?"

He said, "Nothing major will happen."

I was like, "You're sure? There's no chance it would, like, kill me, or put me in somebody else's body, or leave me as some disembodied spirit somewhere, or something?"

And he said, "That is particularly impossible, of course. It would violate Blernoulli's Principle."

From my reaction, it looked like that didn't really reassure me.

Then, suddenly, I aksed him, "So what happens to you?"

He was like, "What do you mean?"

I said, "Well, what if I can keep Leela from dying? Won't that change this time?"

He said, "Yes, of course. That's the whole point."

And I said, "But won't everything just suddenly change for you, like in a time skip?"

He answered, "No. We'll all have lived through everything that happened as a result of your actions."

He drew something on the chalkboard, with a line branching off into two. One was supposed to be where Leela gets killed, one where she doesn't. He explained how if I succeeded, everything on our branch would never have happened at all, and only the branch where Leela's alive would remain.

But as I was watching, I had a question.

Cubert was standing there watching me. He would have seen me press the button. And then... what?

At first I thought that the Universe would suddenly change into whatever would have happened if Leela was alive. Like a time skip.

He said something different, something I'm not sure I get.

It seems like his past and his present would have changed. I mean, what the hell would that feel like?

Well, whatever. On the screen, after I was mostly satisfied with the response, I picked up the device again and put my thumb over the enter key.

I swallowed hard and said, "Here goes nothing."

And I pressed enter.

The picture cut to the bridge of the Leela. I guess it would have just been the Planet Express ship then.

I was sitting in the pilot's seat, and you were sitting on the couch, Fry, facing me.

I looked around for a sec, and then I looked down at my wrist. Checking the date, I guess.

And you were like, "What?"

I said, "What?"

You said, "You were saying, 'I think maybe I should...'"

I said, "Leela hasn't come back yet, has she?"

You were like, "No. How long did she say she'd be gone?"

I could see the relief on my face, as though I'd been dreading that you'd say she was dead.

So I told you, "Two hours, I think."

You aksed, "How long has it been?"

I said it had been about two and a half hours.

You said, "Maybe we should go look for her."

And I was like, "She'll turn up."

And after that I kind of leaned back in the chair, letting my arms hang behind me. Now the relief was obvious in my entire body.

And you were like, "What's with you? Usually you have to drink a lot more before you flop around like that."

So I lifted up my head, looked at you, and gave you a little smile. I just said, "What's with me? You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

And you shrugged, and you said, "Want some cookies? I'm gonna go get some cookies."

You got up and went down to the galley.

After you were gone, I looked at my wrist again, and then I whispered to myself, "It worked."

Anyway, then the What-If machine dissolved to us sitting on the couch, eating cookies. It was just starting to get light outside.

We were both smiling. I was saying, "Your heartbeats were synchronised? Awwww!"

But when my alarm went off, I started to look all apprehensive again.

You said, "Does that mean it's time to go again?"

And I was like, "Yeah, why don't you..."

But then I hesitated, and I ended up saying, "You know what? Wanna wait a few minutes?"

You were like, "Why? What for?"

I said, "I dunno. They might not get there until it's lighter out."

And you looked out the window, and you were like, "Yeah, good idea."

We talked a little bit more, and then I got the call.

It was Leela. She said, "Amy! I need your help!"

On the What-If machine, I looked like I was overcome with emotion.

And sitting in front of the What-If machine, I was overcome with emotion.

It was a simulation, of course. But it was still her voice.

A voice I hadn't heard for months.

On the What-If machine, I choked out, "Leela."

She answered, "I'm a couple of minutes from the ship, but I'm being chased. Get a weapon!" and then clicked off.

And you looked up at me and said, "What? What is it?"

I was just like, "Nothing. Come on, let's go."

I got the laser pistol, and then we both went down outside. We waited, and pretty soon she appeared over the hill.

You called out, "Leela!"

When you called again, she heard you and called back.

Then the guy jumped on her, and they started to fight.

And I got up and walked toward them.

You were like, "Amy, what are you doing?"

Then I started to run, and as I got nearer, I shouted, "Hey!"

They both looked up. I pointed the gun at the guy and said, "Get away from her!"

He got up and ran away.

Just like that.

Leela got up and said to me, "Hey, thanks. We ready to go?"

I stared at her for a minute. Then I grabbed her and gave her a hug. My sniffling was clearly audible.

Leela seemed confused. She looked up at you, and you just shrugged.

She was like, "Um, good to see you."

I said, "No, it's good to see you."

And you said, "I'm just gonna go deliver the package now."

Leela was like, "You haven't delivered it yet?"

You told her, "No, they weren't there the first time."

Then it dissolved to us taking off. All four of us were on the bridge, and Bender aksed when we'd get back.

Leela, who was flying, said, "Sometime around three."

He said, "All right. Means I'll be able to catch a naked poetry reading. You in, Fry?"

And you were like, "I don't know. Leela? Naked poetry?"

She said to you, "I kinda had something else planned for us tonight."

Bender was like, "Okay, but you skintubes don't know what you're missing." He got up and went downstairs.

Then Leela aksed me, "You gonna fly back?"

I said, "Um, okay."

She was like, "You said you would."

I was like, "I did?"

And she said, "Yeah, because Fry and I are going to be... otherwise occupied."

And suddenly you said, "Wooo!"

So then it dissolved to an exterior shot of the ship landing in the hangar. Then it cut to the interior of the hangar, with the four of us making our way down the steps. You and Leela were holding hands.

After Hermes took the clipboard back from you and went back to his office, we all walked outside in the dead of night. I turned to Leela and aksed her, "So, did you?"

And you said, "Yeah! We went twice!"

I said, "No, did you, you know, tell him?"

She was like, "Yeah. I told him." But she just said it so plainly, so emotionlessly.

And then you said, "Told me what?"

She said, "That I love you. Have you forgotten already?"

And then you gave her a sly little smile and you said, "I have forgotten. Can you say it again?"

And she pulled you in tight, put her arms around your shoulders, looked into your eyes, and she said, "I love you, Fry."

She kissed you for, well, it seemed like ages, and then she pulled away and added, "And I don't care who knows it."

You were like, "Really?"

She started to giggle. And then she pulled her head back and shouted into the sky, "Hey everybody! I'm in love with Fry!"

From the balcony above us, we heard the Professor yell back, "Love him quietly, you young ruffian!"

She shouted up to him, "I'll love him as loud as I want!"

And then water splashed down – on me.

I yelled, "Eyagh! Professor, you missed!"

And he answered, "I did nothing of the sort! And to prove it, I'm going back to bed!"

And shivering, I said, "I'm going home for some dry clothes."

Bender was like, "I'm going to the naked poetry. Last chance, you guys. Naked poetry?"

Leela said, "No. We're going to my place tonight. I've got poetry. And I think I can find some naked lying around."

And Bender said, "Whatever. Your loss."

You were staring at Leela, and you said, "No, it's not my loss."

And then there was a scene with the four of us, plus Kif, planning to fight back against the robot Santa Claus.

It was kind of a shock to see Kif there. I mean, I hadn't seen him since New Year's. I guess I'd forgotten that we still would have been together at that time.

And then there was a shot of the ship landing on Neptune. As Santa was loading his rocket sled, you went up behind him and shouted, "Hey Santa! Look! I'm being naughty!" And then you, I don't know, you malfunctioned your wardrobe or something.

And right then we hit him with the EMP guns.

He went down almost immediately, and you and I ran up to him. I was carrying a toolbox.

Leela said to us, "Hurry, you guys. He might come back on at any time."

We took off the bolts and pulled his head off slowly, carefully.

I started to reach inside. I guess I was looking for the EPROM.

Leela was standing behind us, a little way toward the ship. She said, "Careful. A lot of the switches in there are connected to the self destruct trigger."

Finally I said to you, "You want to try?"

You were like, "Sure." And you took the the screwdriver and the UV lamp, and you took a turn poking around inside. Then you said, "It's like Operation."

But you ended up giving them back to me, and I took another turn. I guess I found something, because I started to unscrew something. As I was unscrewing, it looked like my hand slipped.

Then Robot Santa exploded.

When the shrapnel finally stopped raining down, Leela got up and called out, "Fry? Amy?"

She crouched down and started to creep toward the flaming wreckage of his chassis. She had her arm up to shield herself from the heat.

She found my body first.

I was covered in blood and burn marks. She studied my body, just saying to herself, "Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit," over and over again.

She really lost it when she found your body.

As soon as she got to you, she just collapsed to her knees. She checked your pulse, listened for your breath, tried to find your heartbeat. But finally she realised that there wasn't anything she could do.

She slumped forward and sobbed into your chest.

I almost couldn't watch it.

I mean, you know what she was like. She was always in control of herself. She always knew what to do.

But she looked like someone completely different.

Then I saw her hand settle on something. She reached into the charred remnants of your jacket.

She pulled out a tiny little black box.

And she opened it up.

It was the engagement ring you were going to give her, of course.

She rubbed some tears from her eye and looked down at you. She bent down and kissed you.

Then she took off her glove and put on the ring, just as she collapsed into tears again.

And then the What-If machine dissolved to the lounge. Leela was sitting at the table. There was a cup of coffee before her, but she wasn't touching it. She just held her arms to her body and stared straight ahead.

Then Cubert walked in. He said to her, "So, wearing that ring for a month hasn't brought him back from the dead. What were the odds of that?"

And she said, "Shut up, Cubert."

He sat down across from her and said, "Much as I'd like to take your advice, I think I'll decline. So what's biting you?"

She said, "Reality."

And he was like, "It bites all of us. What aspect of it is biting you?"

She looked over at him and sighed. She said to him, "Just went to the gynæcologist. I'm pregnant. I'm... I'm going to have Fry's kid."

And Cubert said, "Congratulations."

She started to smile. It seemed like it was a lot of effort for her.

And then Cubert sarcastically added, "We wouldn't want his special abilities flushed out of the gene pool."

And Leela said, "Fuck you. He cared about other people. That's one trait that never got to you."

He said to her, "Chill, okay? It's just a defense mechanism I use instead of having to show sympathy. Seriously though, it's been a month. Even you should be able to see that you've got to get on with your life."

She was like, "Yeah. It's just, things were going so well for me. I had two best friends. I mean, I'd never really had one best friend before. And then when I fell in love with Fry... he treated me like a princess. A goddess, even. I thought we'd be together for life. And, you know, if only one of them had died, at least I'd have the other. At least I'd still have one pair of shoulders to cry on. But..."

She leaned back. She was staring at the ceiling when she said, "I just wish I could go back and keep all that from ever happening."

He looked up and said, "What's that?"

And she was like, "I said I wish I could keep it all from happening."

He got up and told her to follow him.

And then the screen went dark.

I wasn't really sure what to make of that.

I mean, yeah, things could have turned out worse than they did. But does that really mean that it was going to be either her or us?

I'm not willing to accept that.

I still think we could have taken out Santa Claus without killing anyone. We would have, if he hadn't kidnapped you.

But it doesn't matter any more.

The war matters. I wonder how it's been going since I've been trapped down here.

We really loaded up on weaponry when we declared independence. I think our defenses are solid. With the kind of weapons we got from the Professor, I couldn't see how they'd do anything to us.

It's just... we never expected the quake bomb.

But thanks to Kif, we had enough warning that you and I could get everyone to safety. In fact, I'm probably the only victim of it, unless Clara didn't make it either.

It doesn't seem like they used it again. I think I would have felt the vibrations.

I don't think I've heard much of anything down here. I guess the fighting has been going on someplace else.

It was only a few days after the independence declaration and the outbreak of fighting when they dropped it. I'm sure you remember it, Fry, just as much as I do.

We were both at the control trailer. I was on my way out of the bathroom when you called me.

I was pretty surprised to get back to the control room and see Kif on the line.

He said, "Hi, Amy."

I was like, "Um... hey."

And he said, "So, like I said, I've got something very important to tell you. It's about... well... you see, the President has just authorised a new weapon to be used against you."

You and I looked at each other. You aksed him, "What kind of weapon?"

And he told us, "It's called an earthquake bomb. They fired it not long ago, so it's going to strike you in about an hour."

And you aksed, "What's it do?"

He said, "Well, what it does, it sort of digs into the crust of the planet that it strikes. Then it sets off a huge earthquake, and the waves then travel across the planet and start more earthquakes, all around the planet."

You were like, "How strong?"

He said, "At least magnitude nine. But they could be much stronger than that. I don't know how earthquake resistant your buildings are..."

I said, "They're not. We thought this planet was geologically dead."

He was like, "It will be until the bomb strikes. But when it does, it could take down a lot of your buildings. Do you have, like, a shelter you can use?"

You said, "Yeah. There's one here, and then there's one under the clinic, right?"

And I was like, "Yeah. We should get everyone into one of those."

And you said, "Yeah, we should. Lt Kroker, how much time did you say we had?"

He told us, "It could be as little as fifty minutes."

But then you aksed him a question that I just hadn't thought of. You said, "So why are you telling us? I mean, you're supposed to be fighting against us. Couldn't you get court martialed?"

He was like, "Yes, but I'm pretty sure that this kind of weapon would violate the Gyvenna Conventions. I tried to talk Captain Brannigan out of launching it, but of course, his orders come straight from the President. So this is my only recourse."

You looked a little bit like you might not have believed him. Which makes sense, I guess. We were fighting a war, and generally in a war one side doesn't volunteer information to the other.

And right then, Raoul, who was standing by the radar screen, turned to us and called out, "I've got a blip heading for us. From Earth's direction, impact in about fifty two minutes."

Kif said, "That's probably it. It measures about two metres in diameter, four metres long. I've got to go. Good luck, you guys."

I said, "Kif... thanks."

And when Kif clicked off, Raoul told us, "It's one to two metres across. This must be the quake bomb."

You aksed, "When's it hit?"

Raoul was like, "Looks like fifty one minutes and... thirty seconds."

I said, "Do you know where it'll hit?"

He hit some buttons and told us, "At the moment, it looks like it'll hit somewhere in the Compton Sea. But it'll be a little longer until we get a good fix on its trajectory."

And you aksed him, "Well, are we at least sure it'll hit us?"

He said, "Yeah, it'll definitely hit."

You said, "Well, it doesn't matter where it hits. Kif said it'll start earthquakes all across the planet. So how long will it take to get everyone into the shelters?"

Raoul said, "Well, we still don't have the comlink to Jenningsville. So we'll have to send someone there to notify them."

And immediately I was like, "I'll go."

You aksed me, "Are you sure, Amy? We can send somebody else."

I said to you, "But I'm, like, the only one here who's been working on the clinic. So I know them all. I can make sure that everybody's accounted for."

You said, "Yeah, you're right. Better hurry. Take the hovercycle."

I said, "Okay. See you, Fry. See you guys."

I waved to everybody else and left.

I could have gotten there faster, but I was on the lookout for anyone who wouldn't have gotten the evacuation call otherwise. Luckily I didn't see anybody.

But I had to stop along the way. I had one of those... I told you I have those times when the guilt hits me.

Not really panic attacks. Guilt attacks, I guess.

At least you didn't have to see it.

See Leela dying, I mean.

It was like playing back your favourite scene from a movie. Except this was anything but my favourite scene.

Maybe I shouldn't be talking about guilt with you, Fry. I don't want you to feel like that about me. Someone had to go alert them, and you know I was the right person for the job. I just got unlucky. It didn't have anything to do with you.

Anyway, I got there and saw Remi immediately. As I jumped off, I called to her, "Hey, Rem!"

She called back, "Hey, Amy. How are you?"

As I ran up to her, I said, "We got to get everybody into the shelter, now."

She was like, "Why? What's happening?"

I said, "They launched a quake bomb at us. It hits in, like, forty minutes."

She said, "The fuck is a quake bomb?"

I told her, "It causes earthquakes all across the planet. Big earthquakes. It's probably going to take down half our buildings."

She said, "Shit. Are we sure the shelter's safe enough?"

I said, "Yeah. Look."

I had all the diagrams and everything on my wrist. So I showed her the specs for the shelter. It could take quakes up to magnitude thirteen, which is, like, ridiculous.

And then I aksed her, "Where is everybody now? Are they all here, or what?"

She told me, "Most of us are here. Moose and those guys are all down by the river."

I was like, "Is that everybody?"

She said, "Yeah, I think so."

I said, "Okay. You get everyone here into the shelter. I'll go and get the others."

So I hurried down to the river. Moose and the three guys he worked with were installing the sewage system. It wasn't until then that I finally thought of the irony of a bunch of mutants working on a sewage system.

When I got them back, everyone was milling around in the shelter. I aksed Vyolet where Remi was.

Vyolet told me that Remi had gone to look for Clint and Clara.

I aksed, "Are they the only ones missing?"

Vyolet said, "Yeah. We counted everybody else."

And I said, "Okay. Well, we'd better start to get ready here."

She aksed me, "How much time do we have?"

I said, "About eighteen minutes."

Just then Remi burst through the door and ran down the stairs. Clint followed after her.

Remi came up to us and said, "I can't find Clara. Are you sure you saw her go toward the dock?"

Vyolet said, "Yeah. She had her fishing pole and everything."

I was like, "Okay, well, we're running low on time. You two get everything set here. I'm going to go look for her."

And Remi actually got mad at that. She said, "No! Let me, Amy!"

I said to her, "Remi, they need you here."

She was like, "You'll never get there in time. I can be, like, all over that area in five minutes."

I said, "But I've got the hovercycle."

She said, "But what if you don't get back? I'll just go."

She started to leave, but I held her back and said, "Remi, stay here and get everyone ready for the quakes. That's an order."

Of course, we didn't really have a command structure, so saying that didn't mean anything. But Remi accepted it anyway. She just stepped back and said, "Yes, Amy."

Vyolet aksed, "So what if you don't get back? What do you want us to do?"

I said, "First, check the provisions. Make sure we have three days of food and water for everybody."

She was like, "You think we're going to have to stay down here that long?"

And I told her, "No. But we might."

She aksed, "So how long should we stay down here? Until the quakes stop?"

I said, "I don't know. There are probably going to be some aftershocks. So wait maybe, like, another hour or two, just to be sure."

Then Vyolet aksed, "What if the building collapses on top of us?"

I told her, "Well, the doors are on the outside, so that shouldn't be a problem. But if both of them are blocked, just, you know, try to ram though them."

Then I thought about it a little bit. I said, "No, you know what, I'll call Fry."

You answered, "Hey, Amy."

I said, "Hey. We've got everyone here in the shelter, except Clara. I'm gonna go look for her."

You were like, "Okay, but hurry. You've got twelve minutes."

I said, "Twelve? I thought we had sixteen."

You said, "No, it's coming in faster than we thought. It's supposed to hit at about 11:48."

And I told you, "Okay, well, I'm going to find Clara. Remi and Vyolet are in charge until I get back. And Fry?"

You said, "Yeah?"

I went on, "I'm going to have Remi meet you at the control trailer when everyone leaves the shelter. So if you don't see her, like, two hours after the quakes stop, come here to the shelter, just in case they're trapped inside. Got that?"

And you were like, "Yeah. Of course."

I aksed you, "Are you set there?"

You said, "Yep. Everyone's here, we're getting everything together. Call me when you find Clara, okay?"

I said, "Sure."

And you said, "Okay. See you."

I said, "Bye, Fry."

When I switched off, Remi aksed me, "So I'll go to the control trailer once we get everyone out?"

And I said, "Yeah. Give Fry a status report and all. Actually, I should give you my wrist communicator."

She said, "No, you keep it. You might get stuck out there when the quakes hit."

I said, "Okay. I'm going to – shit."

I checked my wrist, and we only had ten minutes.

Vyolet said, "Hurry. If you don't find her, get back here."

I was like, "Okay. See you guys."

As I went up the stairs, I could hear Remi talking to everyone. She was saying something like, "Okay folks, we've got, like, ten minutes. Like I told you, they've fired an earthquake bomb at us."

And then the door slammed shut behind me.

I jumped on the hovercycle and headed to the dock.

She still wasn't there. But I thought I saw tracks heading toward the old city, so I followed them.

I guess about the only thing I did wrong was leaving the hovercycle behind, right? You must have been looking for me there at the dock all this time.

I wonder where Clara was, anyway. I went past her trailer on the way, and I didn't see her. So, where the hell would she be?

Anyway, this is gonna sound stupid, but I thought I saw someone in the old city. So I started to poke around in those buildings.

And of course, that's where I was when the quakes hit.

I tried to hold on under a doorway, but before long, there were some really strong shear waves, and I started getting thrown all over the place. And then, of course, chunks of the ceiling started to come down on me.

This building used to be, like, five or six floors. And it all came down on top of me.

You probably tried to call me right after the quakes started. But my wrist was smashed, so you never would have gotten through to me.

You'll get a laugh when you finally find me, I'm sure. One arm free, the other crushed. My feet are trapped, too. And of course, I've got my pants pulled down.

After the first day, I didn't really have to pee much. I just haven't had enough water.

But now, well, I don't have long left. I can tell.

And all that'll be left of me is this digital audio recorder, which I didn't even know I had.

Told you cargo pants were useful.

This last week or so has been... well, actually I guess it hasn't really been that hard on me. At least my subconscious has kept me occupied by conjuring up you and Leela.

Of course, I can only guess how you've been dealing with all this. Maybe you're getting over it, but maybe... maybe you're thinking about suicide.

Or maybe you've already done it.

I thought about it after Leela died. And then some more after my parents died.

But I always thought that if I ever did, you'd take the gun out of my hands and shoot yourself the moment you found me.

Whether that's true or not, who knows. That's just what I thought.

Fry, I just hope someone comes along for you. Someone who loves you like I did. Someone whom you love like you did Leela.

I mean, you're... you're just so sweet. You'd never hurt anyone. And you just have such a sense of perspective. I guess that comes from suddenly being thrown into our world with no idea what the fuck is going on.

And when you find someone, when you find a girl, can you do something for me? Just jump right in, you know? Don't be afraid.

I think that's what Leela would say to you, at least.

So, I guess I've told you everything I needed to. So just, you know, try to do a good job. Don't screw it all up.

I'm just messing with you, of course. You'll...

Yeah, maybe throwing out all this junk will make me feel better.

Oh god. Now I'm hearing Bender's voice.

Just roll that one up here.

Wait, that sounds...

Hey! Not there! No! What did you just do! Bad! Bad!

Hey, Bender?

I want you to sit there in that bulldozer and think about what you did! Okay?

BENDER!

Aah! Aaaah! Aaaagh! Agh! It's Amy's ghost! This place is haunted!

No, Bender, it's really me!

Eh? What?

It's really me, Bender! I'm stuck down here!

You are? Hang on!

whirring

Ow! Bender!

Was that you?

Yeah, you just poked my stomach! Ow! Ow! Stop it!

Holy crap, it is you! How you been?

Can you get me out of here?

Yeah, I think we can. Hang tight, okay?

That's all I can do down here!

Yeah, just lift up as much stuff as you can. She's right down there. Who? Amy, stupid!

Okay, we're almost down to you!

Good!

Let's get that one now. Hey! Careful! Watch it!

crashing

Hey! There she is! Hi, Amy! Come on, let's get her to the hospital! Let me just call Fry...

Hey, Fry! Guess who I found! No! No! Nope! No! I'll just tell you, okay? It's Amy!

No, stupid! She's alive! Seriously! Well, she's passed out right now, but she's... what's that thing you humans have when you're alive? No, the other one. A pulse! Yeah, she's got that!

Yeah, we're taking her there now. Okay, I'll see you there.

Damn, Amy! How the hell did you survive down there that long? Hope they can fix you up back there. Nice ribs, skinpile.

Recording ends 20:03