Down for the Count, fourth part: Share

by Deb H

Tuesday 07 August 3004

I walked back and forth, up and down.

Back and forth.

Up and down.

Back and forth.

Up and down.

Back and down.

Up and forth.

No, wait.

I'd been pacing so much, all the directions were blurring together.

I stopped by the door to the stairs and looked around.

Amy was sitting at the table, staring at something on her laptop. It looked like an ad for a new pachinko machine.

Fry and Bender were sitting on the couch, staring at the television. It looked like that one Japanese game show where the players fight each other with boxing gloves that look like they're the same size as Callisto.

I listened to the hyperexcited commentary. I had no idea what the hell they were talking about.

I looked up at the clock.

Six minutes until closing.

This was a special day.

Most days, I looked forward to the end of our shift.

Today, though, I just couldn't wait for closing. I was just about ready to jump out of my skin.

But that would have been a detriment to the way I was going to spend my weekend.

So, instead, I selected the safer alternative of pacing back and forth, up and down.

I looked up at the clock.

Five minutes and twenty six seconds until closing.

The girl with the chartreuse gloves fell off her stand and splashed into the pool of blue green liquid, as some Japanese characters appeared across the screen at a tilt of about fifteen degrees, over the head of a perky yellow cartoon bear.

I looked up at the clock.

Five minutes and twenty five seconds until closing.

"Oh, fuck you!" I shouted at the clock.

The others turned to stare at me.

The entity with the chestnut gloves raised his, her, its, or shkler fists above his, her, its, or shkler head, as some Japanese characters appeared across the screen at a tilt of about negative fifteen degrees, over the head of an authoritative purple cartoon pigeon.

I stepped toward the couch and looked around. "Where's the remote?" I aksed.

"I dunno," Fry said. "We lost it about a week ago."

"Really?" I said. "You mean you've been getting up and changing the channel for a week?"

Bender responded, "No, of course not. We've been watching the same channel for a week."

I turned the TV off.

"Hey, what the hell?" Bender protested.

Fry said, "Hey, how did you do that?"

"What?" I aksed.

"How'd you turn the TV off without the remote?"

I said, "With... the off button?"

He said, "Huh. Maybe we should try that, Bender."

"How have you been turning the TV off?" I aksed.

Bender and Fry looked at each other.

I shouted, "So the TV's been on for a week?"

Rising from the couch, Bender answered, "Hey! I've seen you leave the ship on for a week! And I know the ship uses a hell of a lot more power than the TV does!"

"Yeah," I said. "I like to leave the ship on when we're in it. You know, so it can keep us alive!"

"What are you worrying about? Just learn to breathe vacuum! Like me, Bender!"

"You can't breathe vacuum!"

"Exactly! I don't breathe anything!"

"No, I mean, you can't breathe vacuum because it's the absence of air! You can't breathe something that's not there!"

"Sure I can! I'm doing it right now! That's how great I am! Breathing something that's not even there! Yeah, that's me! When people aks you, 'Hey, who's that robot that's breathing something that's not even there?', you can say, 'Oh, that's Bender! Yeah, he always breathes stuff that's not even there! That's just how great he is!' And that's totally what you should do when –"

"Attention all employees," the loudspeaker said. "Please report to the big circular table that you always sit at when I come in and tell you that there's good news, everyone. Because there's good news, everyone!"

"Aw, dammit!" Bender shouted.

I looked up at the clock.

Three minutes and fourteen seconds until closing.

"I agree with you, Bender," I groaned.

We filed into the conference room, where Hermes was holding a box.

"No, no," I declared. "We are not making a delivery this close to closing. Leave it for Monday."

"You know de rules, Leela, mon. If de announcement is before closing, ya got to make de delivery."

"Funny. I have an alternative interpretation of the rule. Can we discuss it in your office?"

"Get going. We'll talk after you get back."

"You'll have gone home by the time we get back."

"And dat's a damn shame."

"Yeah," I said. "So's this. Come on."

I grabbed the back of his shirt collar and dragged him down the hallway to his office. Once there, I shoved him into his chair and adjusted the dial next to the door. In the hallway, a panel would be lighting up: CYCLOPS RAGE LEVEL: 4.

I turned toward Hermes, but then, thinking better of it, I turned the dial up to 5.

"What's da matter with you, woman? Usually ya crank dat thing straight to eleven."

"Well, I'm not really feeling all that enraged about this."

I placed my palms on the desk and leaned in toward him.

I continued, "Because we're not making the delivery."

"Yes you are."

"No we're not. We're going home and carrying out our plans for the weekend. Then we're making the delivery on Monday."

He chuckled. "Leela, mon. We all know what kind of plans ya got this weekend. Download a movie tonight. Clean your apartment tomorrow. And Sunday, watch de Yankees game, fill in your scoresheet, and file it with your two thousand other scoresheets. Which is de only part of your routine dat I approve of."

"No," I said. "That's not it at all. Let me tell you what I'm going to do this weekend, Hermes."

"Can I at least sort dese papers while you do?"

"Fine."

He picked up a stack of papers from his desk and flipped through them idly, leaving the package in his lap.

"I'm going out with my girlfriend. We're going on a romantic retreat. And it's our first time taking a trip like this together. So I am not going to let you ruin it by keeping me late."

I paused and waited for him to relent, like he always does.

To my surprise, a smirk formed on his face instead. "You've got a girlfriend."

"Yes."

"You're going on a romantic retreat."

"Yes."

"With your girlfriend."

"Yes."

"Dat you love."

"Yes. Can I go?"

"Just one more question. What does Fry think o' all dis?"

I stood a little straighter.

"It sounds like a serious relationship. Does he know how serious it is?"

I stood a little more straighterer.

"Does he know it exists?"

I stood completely straight and took my palms off his desk.

"He doesn't," Hermes said with a growing smile. "He hasn't got a clue, has he? Oh, dis is rich! Dis is gonna destroy him! I can't wait to see his face!"

I crossed my arms.

"Oh, wait!" he said with even more glee. "I don't have to!" Pressing the intercom button, he called out, "Dis is Hermes. Fry, please report to my office at once. Fry to Hermes's office, at once."

My eye widening, I cried out, "You wouldn't!"

"Dat's true," he said. "I could forget why I called him in here."

He held out the package, with a teasing wave, in front of my face.

I swiped it out of his hand.

Hermes said, "Good. Dese papers were already in order anyway."

"What up," Fry said as the door slid open.

I leaned in to Hermes and hissed, "Not a word. Or else that badge takes the place of your epiglottis."

To Fry, I said, "Come on. You and Bender prep the ship for immediate departure." I sidestepped him and made for the door.

"Wait," he replied. "What did you want to see me for, Hermes?"

I stopped in the doorway and glared at Hermes over my shoulder.

He said, "Um... I forget."

That's the old Hermes.

"Get going, Fry," I said. "I need a minute, and then I'll be right behind you."

He went downstairs toward the hangar floor, and I entered the bathroom.

I pressed some buttons on that thing I always wear on my wrist.

It made a ringing sound.

Then another one.

Then another one.

My heart began to pound.

What happened to you? I thought. Did you lose your wrist? Did you crash? Did you fall into a wormhole and end up four million years in the future? Am I going to have to freeze myself for four million years if I want to see you again? Because I will. I will so do that for you. Because I love you. From the instant I first saw a video of you boxing. I didn't know it then, but I do now. I love you.

"I love you," I said.

"Wh... what?"

I snapped out of it and looked down at the thing I always wear on my wrist.

There was no video, but it showed Jazenny's name and number.

"Oh, good," I exhaled.

"What?"

"I wanted to make sure I didn't call Amy or someone by accident."

"Oh. No, it's me."

"Good."

"Anyway, I'll be there as soon as I can. Traffic's pretty bad."

"Actually, I... I have to work."

"What? You do?"

"Yeah. They're making us stay late to make this delivery."

"Oh. So... um... how long is it going to take?"

I looked down at the package.

The Small Magellanic Cloud. A dwarf galaxy just outside the Milky Way. No problem. Two hours away, maybe three.

"Three hours," I blurted out.

"Oh. Well, that's great," Jazenny said. "We can still catch the next flight."

Round trip, I thought. Multiply by two, genius.

I said, "You... you go ahead."

"What?"

"Go ahead. I'll meet you there."

"You sure? I can wait for you."

"No, go. I want you to. I'd hate for our dinner reservations to go to waste."

"But... but... if you're not there, I'm not going to enjoy it."

"Please, Jaze. Please enjoy it. For me."

There was a pause.

"Okay," she said. "But I'd rather wait for you."

"Noted. Now get going. You said traffic was bad."

"Yeah, it is."

"I'll call you when I'm done with the delivery."

"Okay. And Eel?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you too."

"I love you," I said as my eye started to tear up.

I hung up and headed for the ship.

On the bridge, I handed the package to Fry and took the stick.

"Where's Bender?" I aksed him.

"He went home."

I turned to Fry.

He shrugged. "I dunno. He said he was going to be late for something. Something about the frequency of the museum security guard doing his rounds."

I shook my head. "Then let's get going."

I strapped in, and we made contrails across the sky.

Once we made it out of the plane of the Milky Way, I floored it. We reached the destination in a little over an hour.

Fry jumped out, and I spent an impatient few minutes.

Normally when Fry is making the deliveries, I take a moment to observe the place. Sometimes I peek out the windows, but usually I go outside and get a look for myself.

I never stray too far from the ship, though. We've had to make way too many sudden escapes.

Today, though, I didn't even get out of my seat.

The planet was dark, but there was a faint orange glow to the sky in one direction. It looked like it was close to either sunrise or sunset.

According to the nav display, we were facing west, so the glow was to the north.

That didn't make any sense.

If the glow was in the west, it would be just after sunset. If it was in the east, it would be just before sunrise.

But north?

What the hell kind of planet was this?

I got out of my seat and went over to the side of the bridge. I stood next to Fry's seat and looked at the sky.

There were some buildings in the way, but I could still see that orange glow.

I went back to my seat and called up the geographic display.

Now it made sense.

We had landed way to the south, in this planet's antarctic region. So we had to be in the middle of this planet's southern winter.

The display said that this planet's sun would rise, as seen from this location, in about two weeks.

Then, there would be a month or two of spring, during which the star would rise and set, but never get very high above the horizon. Eventually, it would stop setting, and it would be summer here.

I realised I had never been to Earth's polar regions.

I had been to the north pole of Neptune.

Jazenny was a Neptunian.

She was only one galaxy over.

"Hey," Fry said. "Ready to go?"

"You bet."

As we sped back toward Earth, I counted down the time until I could see my girlfriend again.

Only another hour. Then I would go... where?

By the time we got back, Jazenny would be on the flight to the Sideways Planet.

When was the next flight?

I tried to check, but we weren't in range of the network.

There was one alternative.

But it was getting loud in here. I was having trouble hearing myself think.

I said, "Hey Fry, could you turn off that power saw? I gotta... oh."

It wasn't a power saw. Fry was just snoring.

I got up out of my seat and nudged him.

Nothing happened.

I said, "Fry, wake up."

Nothing happened.

I yelled, "Fry!"

Nothing happened.

I pushed him.

Nothing happened.

I looked around for a second. Then I whispered in his ear, "I love you."

In between snores, Fry murmured, "I know you do, lower half of Scarlett Johansson. But the thing is, it's getting serious with Michelle Rodriguez's arms and upper torso, and I really want to explore that relationship."

I noticed my hand condensing into a fist.

He continued, "Wait, don't cry. Maybe the two of you could work as a team. Then you could add Mo'Nique's head."

Mo'Nique?

Well, whatever. I grabbed his shirt collar and yanked to the side, and Fry's face went plunging into the window.

He struggled to sit up again, aksing, "What just happened?"

"I don't know," I said. "I think you were having a dream or something."

"Oh."

I thought about Jazenny again.

About fifty five minutes away.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" he said.

"Sure."

"So... um... you've been less angry these days."

"What?" I aksed him. "Less angry?"

"Yeah. I mean... like today, when Hermes gave us this package to deliver. Usually, when they have something for us to do right before closing, you're totally pissed. And then when you come onto the ship, you're all stompy and growly, and you won't talk to anybody. I mean, we didn't really talk at all on the way out, but, well, we have those silences sometimes, you and I. And I like those. And that was fine. It wasn't like when you're mad. You know, when you're all growly and stompy. And normally, you would have been really mad at Hermes. You would have, like, bitten his head off."

"I'm not like that," I said.

"Yeah you are. Normally you'd be like, 'Raaarrrrgh!' And he'd be like, 'What are you doing? Are you biting me head off?' And you'd be like, 'Raaarrrrgh crunch!' And he'd be like, 'What are you doing now? Having bitten me head off, are you now chewing me head?' And you'd be like, 'Raaarrrrgh nom nom nom nom!' And he'd be like, 'What are you doing now? Having chewed me head, are you now swallowing me head?' And you'd be like, 'Raaarrrrgh glup!' And he'd be like, 'What are you doing now? Having swallowed me head, are you now digesting me head?' And you'd be like, 'Raaarrrrgh digest digest!' And he'd be like, 'What are you doing now? Having digested me head, are you now allowing me head to pass into your intestines?' And you'd be like, 'Raaarrrrgh pass into intestines!' Only I don't think we'd be able to hear that, because I know I've never been able to hear anything passing into my intestines, no matter how hard I try. Eating a Mr Microphone doesn't work for that. Or for anything, actually. You know, I waited. Every time he said that, I waited. And you know what? There wasn't more! There wasn't more! Anyway, yeah, you've been less angry these days. And... well, I was just wondering if there was any particular reason. You know, as to why you're less angry these days. Why are you less angry these days, Leela? Is there something new in your life? You know, something that you're happy about? Something that you look forward to? Something that you can't wait to see, like, especially over the weekend? Huh? Is there? Is there? Is there? Is there?"

Having a conversation with Fry is always an interesting experience.

Sometimes he'll dominate the conversation. Sometimes he'll go off on a tangent that goes on to dominate the conversation. Sometimes a tangent from his tangent will dominate the first tangent, and that will happen N more times, and you'll be left wondering how you got there because the first tangent's great-to-the-Nth descendant bears about as much similarity to the original topic as the Professor does to Fry.

But this time he seemed to have come back around to the important topic.

I thought about what Amy had said.

She was right. I did have to tell him.

I drew in a breath and said to Fry, "Look. There's, um, there's something I've gotta tell you."

"Oh."

"Come here," I said. I led him forward to the couch.

He sat next to me, staring blankly.

Apparently, he was done dominating the conversation. I was going to have to do the work now.

Staring at my hands, I said, "It's about someone I... there's someone I'm going out with. I'm going out with someone."

Now I finally looked up at him.

He was still staring blankly.

"Someone who is... like..."

Now I was moving my hands up and down. At first it was a vague gesture, the kind people make when their sentence runs out of whale oil. The you know what I mean gesture.

Then it seemed like I was miming something.

But whatever it was, Fry didn't seem to know what I meant.

"Who is a woman," I finally concluded. "Someone who is a woman. The someone that I am going out with is the kind of someone who is a woman. A woman someone. That's what the someone that I am going out with is like."

He still failed to respond.

My concern increased as I found I couldn't get a reaction out of him. "So... what do you think?" I aksed him. "Are you... how do you..."

I trailed off.

Eventually he said, "When?"

"What?" I aksed.

"When are you going out with her?"

"No. No, we've been..."

"Are you going shopping?"

"No, it's not..."

"Because that's cool. You should be spending time with friends anyway."

"No, I..."

"Amy always says you don't have any friends. I mean, I know that's not true. I know you have friends."

"Yeah, but it's..."

"But you don't like to go shopping or anything. Right?"

"Well, that isn't..."

"Because I do stuff with Bender sometimes, and that's fun. So yeah, you should go and have fun. Why? Is there something wrong with her?"

"No, there's nothing..."

"Because if there is, and she's acting weird or something, then yeah, you should totally stop hanging out with her. Maybe tell her to go see a specialist or something."

"That's not..."

"Do you really think there's something wrong with her?"

"No, there's nothing..."

"So yeah, don't worry about it. You should totally go and have fun."

"Fry, I'm in love with her!"

The words seemed to echo around the bridge.

We stared at each other for a few seconds.

Then I leaned forward and put my hands on my forehead, in anguish. Or shame. Or maybe embarrassment.

No, it was a combination of all of those.

"Oh," Fry said.

He seemed to contemplate that for a moment.

"Does she know?" he aksed.

I just said, "Yeah. I... think she does."

He was quiet for a little longer, and so I took the opportunity. I lifted my head, met his eyes again, and said, "Her name's Jazenny. She's a boxer. A good boxer. Quick, smart, good reflexes. I saw a couple of videos of her online. I was impressed from the start. Then I met her.

"Fry, she's... she's fucking unbelieveable. We've been going out for more than four months. I... it's getting serious. I think she wants me to move in with her. And I think I want to. I mean, it would be a commute. She lives upcontinent. In Texas. I didn't think I could live in Texas, but, you know, at least there I can carry laser guns around and not look weird. I mean, I'll still look weird, because, you know... well, you know.

"But she... well, she's not like anybody I've ever met. She's... she understands me. Every time we see each other, she knows exactly what I need. You know? Like if I've had a bad day, she'll make me laugh, or if I'm stressed, she'll give me a massage, or if I'm angry, she'll hold the punching bag and let me punch the shit out of it, or if I'm aroused, she'll bite my... anyway.

"But yeah, that's why we're going so fast now. We had plans this weekend. We were going to go to that one planet where they film all the movies about wine tasting. You know, the Sideways Planet. And we're staying at this one resort that she was excited to go to. I don't even know what kind of resort it is. Just that she wanted to go there. And... well... that's reason enough for me.

"So... that's it. I'm in love with her, and she's in love with me, and we're gonna, I guess, see what happens."

He had been staring blankly again.

I added, "So, that's pretty much it."

He continued to stare blankly.

Suddenly I grasped his arm and said, "Fry, say something. Please, anything."

"Like what?" he aksed.

"How about 'I'm happy for you'?" I suggested. No, pleaded.

"Okay."

There was more silence.

"Are... are you really?" I aksed him.

"Happy for you?" he aksed. "Yeah. Of course. I mean, whatever she's doing for you, it must be working. Like I said, you've been a lot less angry than normal. Not bitchy or anything. So, you know, that's good. You're in love with someone who loves you. That's better than being in love with someone who loves someone else."

"Yeah, I guess so," I said. Then, abruptly, I added, "Wait, what?"

Fry said, "I'm just saying. You know, like if there's someone who acts like you're a fuckup and doesn't understand that you're just trying to save the environment when you use your teeth. I mean, they're nature's toenail clippers. But, yeah. Being in love with somebody who doesn't love you back, that sucks."

"I know," I answered. "I know, and I'm sorry. This is just how it worked out."

"I know."

This is actually going well, I thought as I gave him a relieved smile and a pat on the arm.

"Just one question," Fry said.

Warily, I aksed, "What's that?"

"When were... when were you going to tell me?"

"What?"

"I... I mean, seems like you could have told me a long time ago."

"I know. It's just... it's all gone so fast, and –"

"No, I mean, like, you're only just telling me now."

"Yeah," I said. "And I'm sorry. It's just... you know..."

Not waiting for me to finish, he said, "It seems like things would have been a lot easier if you'd told me a long time ago."

"You mean, when we first started to go out?"

"No. No, I mean, when you first knew."

"Knew what?"

"You know. That you're a lesbian."

"That I'm what?"

"Leela," he replied, "I've been irritating you for a long time. Asking you to give me a chance. Begging you to go out with me. But you hated it. It was making you insane, and angry."

"Not angry," I responded.

"No, it made you angry sometimes. I mean, sometimes Amy had to tell me that you were angry, but other times I could actually tell for myself. It sucked. I... Leela, I hate making you angry.

"But... well... I'm still in love with you," he continued. "I know this is gonna make you really angry, but it's true. I've never felt like this about anyone. And... well, if you'd told me a long time ago, then I woulda stopped asking you out. I woulda stopped irritating you. I mean, it'll take some time for me to get used to it. But... if you're gay, I guess... I guess that's okay. It's just... you kept hiding it from me. And you didn't have to. You didn't have to hide it from me."

"Fry... Fry."

"Yeah?"

I said, "Look. I... for one thing, I'm not gay."

"What?"

"Just because I'm a girl who's going out with a girl, that doesn't make me a lesbian."

He scratched his head. "Um... isn't that... isn't that exactly what makes you a lesbian?"

"Shut up. I mean, I've never felt this way about a woman. Never in my life. Actually, I've never felt this way about a guy either. Nobody's ever made me feel like this, until I met Jazenny."

"Who's that?"

"That's the girl I'm going out with. And I wasn't hiding it from you. I just... well, I never got a chance to tell you until now."

"Oh."

He stared at the base of the windshield.

"Look," I sighed. I did something with my hands, and then I continued, "I wasn't planning to fall in love with a girl. You know? It just... it just happened that way. I met her once, and I kept trying to tell myself that it... that it wasn't like that. That I wasn't attracted to her.

"So I just kept trying to tell myself that, only I wasn't listening to myself, and finally it was just, 'Who the fuck am I kidding? I love her.' I..."

I put my hands down and looked up at Fry again.

Finally, I said, "I just... I love her. Everything about her. I... I can't stop thinking about her."

"Oh," he said again. "So... are you attracted to girls now, or...?"

"Except for her, no."

"What about guys?"

I replied, "What about guys?"

"Well... like... are you still attracted to guys?"

"Some guys."

"Oh," he said. "Um..."

"Fry..." I replied, trying to be gentle. "Don't."

"Don't what?"

"I know what you're gonna aks."

"You do?"

"Yeah. I do."

"Really?" he aksed. "Because I don't. What was I gonna ask you?"

I sighed. "You were going to aks if I'm attracted to you."

"I was? That's a good question. Are you sure I was gonna ask you that?"

With another sigh, I said, "Come on. Let's get home."

I started to get up.

"So... are you attracted to me?" he aksed.

"Oh lord."

"Because, I mean, if you are... how come you never wanted to go out with me? And if you're not... how come you didn't just say so?"

"Sometimes I am, all right?" I shouted. "But not when you're being an annoying asshole!"

He pulled away from me.

He looked surprised. Shocked. Disbelieving. Overwhelmed. Hurt. Sad. Crushed. Disconsolate.

Betrayed.

I knew those feelings.

That was how I felt when the kids at the orphanarium made fun of my eye.

We were all misfits. Rejects. The kids that society didn't want.

That felt shitty enough.

But not fitting in with the misfits? Rejected by the rejects?

Fry got up and, looking unsteady on his feet, trudged back over to his seat.

"Fry, wait," I said. "I... I didn't mean that."

He sat down, his back hunched over, his arms resting on the console, his face hiding in his arms.

"No, you're right," he finally said.

"I'm not. I shouldn't have said that. That's not what I meant."

"I know what you meant."

"I... I didn't..."

But then, all of a sudden, he looked up at me, sat up straight, and held his arms up. "It's fine," he said. "Doesn't matter. Let's just go home."

"Fry..."

"I said it's fine!"

I started to say something, but he turned away. He was just staring out the window now.

I made my way back to my seat, feeling smaller than Bender's modesty module.

It was a quiet ride back home.

I wanted to talk to him, but I couldn't come up with anything to say that wouldn't sound patronising.

When we landed, I said, "Hey, Fry?"

There was no answer.

I looked around.

He was gone, and the doorway behind my seat was open.

In a moment, I saw him out the window, running through the Professor's lab and toward the front door.

I sighed and made my way, wearily, down the steps.

I grabbed the suitcase I'd brought from home that morning, tossed it into the corner of the bridge, and took off again.

Once I had arrived at the Sideways Planet and checked in to the resort, it was about twenty minutes after our flight was due to arrive. She would be here any minute.

I hurried back to the lobby and looked for a newspaper to hold in front of my face.

Hell of a time for the publishing industry to go bankrupt, I thought.

In the end, I had to sit way in the corner and watch the reflections in the window, waiting to meet my gorgeous boxer girl for a romantic candlelight dinner.

Suddenly, like a laser blast, I heard the word Hannaminna.

I peeked over to the front desk, and there she was. She was facing the clerk and couldn't see me.

I tiptoed slowly across the lobby toward her.

I heard the clerk say, "And it says here that your companion has already checked into your room?"

"What?" Jazenny aksed. "How'd she get here so – aaack!"

In a flash, I'd slipped behind her and pinned all of her arms behind her. It's actually not as difficult as it sounds. You just get as close to her as you can and reach over her upper shoulders with your arms. Then you grab her lower arms in your hands and yank back. It traps her lower arms in your hands and her upper arms in your elbows.

I'd love to give more tips about how to disable various alien races, but it was about that time that everything went dark.

Later, they finished all of their tests. They told Fry and me that they needed a couple of days to analyse the results.

So that's how I ended up in my trailer with Vyolet helping me put on one of my dresses.

I wasn't exactly sure which one it was. She tried to describe it.

"You know the one, don't you?" she said. "Red and black?"

"Red and black?" I aksed. "Do I have one that's red and black?"

"Yeah, you do. You're putting it on right now."

"Is the top red and the bottom black?"

"No. No, no. It's not like that. It's more, you know, swirly."

"Swirly? I don't have any swirly dresses. Whose is it?"

She paused. "It's... yours."

"No, who's the designer?"

"I don't know. We can't get to the tag now anyway. Okay, arms up."

I held my arms up, and she fastened the back.

"Shoulderless?" I aksed.

"Yeah."

Maybe I did know the one. I went to Milan 4 last year and bought a couple cases of dresses on the Via Womanzoni. About twenty percent of them were shoulderless. Most were in a single colour, but I got a few with prints or other patterns. This must have been one of them.

"Okay, let me do your makeup now," Vyolet said.

"I can do my own makeup."

She snorted. "You said you couldn't see."

"I can't."

"Come on," she said. "I'm the leading expert on style and wardrobe among the New New York mutants. I have a column in the Observer. I invented the updo, for Leela's sake."

"No you didn't," I responded. "The updo's been around since the Stupid Ages."

"The hair updo has, yeah."

"All right, fine," I groaned. "Just don't overdo it. I want it subtle. I want him to – wait."

"What?"

"What did you say a minute ago?" I aksed Vyolet.

"About what?"

"What did you say about inventing the updo?"

"Um... that I invented the updo."

"No, after that. You said... you said 'for Leela's sake'."

"Yeah?"

I found the chair and sat down. Then I leaned forward and rested my forehead on the table.

This all took me about four times as long as it used to, with all the time it took for me to search the area around me with my hands, until I was absolutely sure where the chair and the table were.

"What does that mean?" I aksed.

"What?" she said, with a tiny iota of a laugh. "It's just an expression. We all say it."

"Who does?" I said. "Who all says it?"

"Us. The mutants. All of us say it."

"Well, what do you do that for?"

"Just... because we do."

I shook my head. "Ever think about how she'd feel about that?"

"What?" Vyolet aksed again. "Someone just said it one day. It just, you know, it made sense."

"Made sense how? Who said it? When? Why? How does it make sense?"

She didn't say anything for a moment.

"Vyolet..." I said, trying to keep my voice level. "Just tell me."

She eventually started to talk, but haltingly. "I guess it... it means that it's something good. Like, you'd say, 'You really oughta clean that shit up, for Leela's sake'. You know? Something like that. Like you should do it. Because it's, like, the right thing to do."

"Leela always did the right thing?" I aksed.

"Isn't that what you say?"

"No!" I yelled. "She didn't always do the right thing! She made a lot of mistakes! She fucked some things up! She... she just about fucked her own life up!"

I put my hand over my face for a moment. Then I ran it through my hair and went on, "She wasn't, like, Oprah or anything. She wasn't special, or... she didn't have superpowers or anything. Well, not usually. Anyway, there were plenty of things she was bad at. Her people skills were shit. She'd always trust the wrong people. She –"

"Amy... Amy..." Vyolet said.

I could feel something very light on my shoulders. It was like she wanted to put her hands on my shoulders, but she was afraid to.

"Listen, I... I know all that," she said.

"You do?" I aksed. "Then... why do you use that expression?"

"I dunno. I just do. I just think that, you know, if you know you're supposed to do something, then Leela would have known it too. She had a massive sense of justice, right? Right and wrong?"

I had to agree with that.

"It still feels wrong, though," I told her.

"Wrong? Why?"

"I don't know," I said.

Vyolet said, "Well, if you figure it out, let me know. I'll stop saying it."

I reached up and put my hand on hers.

"Come on," she said. "Let's do your makeup and your hair. Don't want to keep him waiting, do you?"

Vyolet did me up. Then she took my hand and led me to Fry's house.

It was cool and a little windy. As we walked, I could feel warmth on my back. It had to have been Epsilon Eridani, our new sun.

On the way, she explained that the buildings that had been completed, other than the clinic, had come tumbling down in the quakes. The trailers survived because they were trailers; they just hovered above the shaking ground.

So once the mutants were sure that there would be no further attacks, they set about rebuilding everything.

"Weren't you mad?" I aksed her.

"Of course we were mad. But we knew that if we fought back, Earth could wipe us out in a microsecond. So we just waited. Then your friend came and brought all her news crews."

"BW?"

"Yeah."

"BW's genderless."

"Course she is. Anyway, next thing we knew, a million charities were descending on us. They were just about fighting each other trying to help us. The Knights of Coulomb. The Red Crossword. The Salvation Army Rangers. Just about every nun in every lesbian convent this half of the galaxy. Then, there were these debates in the Earthican Congress."

"Debates?" I aksed. "About what?"

She said, "They were talking about why a military operation was necessary. Some of them said it was a waste of money. Some of them said we weren't worth it. And there was one guy who said something like, 'I do not understand all this commotion. Surely we're pleased that the mutants are no longer contaminating our waters underfoot? Surely this is exactly what we wanted all this time?'"

We walked on down the street. I thought about what kind of asshole would say something like that. Probably the distinguished gentleman from Northeast Podunk or something.

"Anyway, Earth decided to leave us alone in the end," she continued. "We demanded a peace treaty. You know, to make them commit that they wouldn't attack again. Fry was on the phone with Earthican leaders around the clock. So were Raoul, and Cali, and Lacie, and Remi."

"Remi?"

I thought I sensed a slight movement up and down in Vyolet's scaly arm. It was like she was shrugging.

Vyolet said, "Seemed like she was pretty persuasive. She made a lot of calls. Kept getting to higher and higher people. One of them must have convinced Nixon eventually."

"She talked to Nixon?"

"No. She probably just talked to somebody, who talked to somebody, who talked to somebody. You know how it is. This way."

We turned suddenly, and Vyolet began to walk in front of me, reaching back for my hand. It must have been a narrow walkway.

"Up," she said.

I lifted my foot up and moved it forward until I found the stair. I stepped up three, but that's all there were.

She took my hand by the wrist and moved it to my right, and then forward, until my finger pressed against something round and metal.

"Press it," Vyolet told me.

I pressed it. A doorbell rang.

In a moment something hissed in front of me.

"Hey," Fry said.

"Hey," I said.

His arms wrapped me up in a tight embrace.

He let me go before long, but I was in favour of continuing much longer.

"Thanks, Vyolet," he said. There was a kissy sound.

She replied, "Any time, hot stuff."

Fry took my hand and said, "Come on in, Amy."

He led me inside, and as the door hissed shut behind us, I said to him, "What was that?"

"What?"

"You know. With you and Vyolet. Was that a kiss?"

"Yeah."

"What, really?" I aksed him. "You and Vyolet?"

"On the cheek," he said.

"Oh. Well, that's less weird. Marginally."

"They really like us," he told me. "They want to do so much for us. There's nothing wrong with giving them a kiss on the cheek in return now and then, is there?"

"I guess not. I... I like kisses on the cheek." But I'm hoping for a lot more, I thought.

"You want dinner?" he aksed me.

"I'd love dinner."

"Okay. This way." He led me forward, but I was slowing him up. I was stepping gingerly, a little bit at a time.

Finally he said, "You're not gonna bump into anything. I only have a little bit of furniture. And I'll steer you around it."

I let out a sigh and murmured, "Okay."

I started to take bigger steps, but after just a few, he stopped me and said, "Now down."

I slid my foot forward until I found the edge of the step. Then I stepped down onto a harder surface, a bit uneven.

"Are we outside now?" I aksed him.

"Yeah. Back porch."

"Cool."

"Yeah."

I didn't say anything for a little bit.

Fry said, "You look... you look..."

"What?"

"In... incredible," he finally finished.

"Oh. I do?"

"Yeah."

"Thanks."

He hugged me again, this time adding a kiss on my forehead.

"Hang on," I said. I slid my hand up to his neck, and then his face. I found his mouth, and then I moved my hand over. Using that as a target, I stood on my tiptoes, leaned forward, and successfully gave Fry a kiss on his cheek.

This time we held on a little longer.

As he finally pulled away, he took my hand and put it on something smooth and cylindrical.

"A wine bottle?" I aksed him.

"Right."

I heard a creak, and then sort of a plunk, which had to be the stopper coming out.

"Come on," he said.

He put his hand over mine, so that we were holding the bottle together. He tugged on it one way, and I followed him a couple of steps. He tugged on it another way, and I followed him a few steps more.

Then he tipped the bottle forward, just for a second.

I heard a short splat as the wine reached the ground.

"What was that for?" I aksed him.

"For Leela."

"Oh."

"Yeah," he said. "They do that a lot in the military. When they lose a guy. They'll, you know, open a bottle of beer or whatever it is, and pour out a little bit."

He took the bottle out of my hand and then put his other hand on my shoulder. He pulled backward, and I took a couple of steps back.

Then he suddenly pushed down on my shoulder.

I started to bend down. I reached behind me and, sure enough, there was the chair that he was guiding me into.

I sat down, and he turned me to face the table.

In a moment, I heard him coming from directly in front of me. He was obviously sitting across from me.

"How's that?" he said.

I felt around the table. Okay, this was a plate. Silverware on the sides. That's the blade of a knife. Spoon next to it. And here's a fork over here. There's a napkin underneath that. Is there a glass around somewhere?

A thunk came from in front of me. It was near my right hand.

"Almost," Fry said. He took my hand and put it on top of something. I moved my hand one way to find an open end, and then the other way to find a narrow stem. This was clearly a sideways wine glass. I righted the glass, and the sound of wine filling it followed. Then the same sound, further away and to the other side.

"What do you want to toast?" Fry aksed me.

"I dunno. Lost friends?"

"Yeah," he said. Then his hand slipped into my other hand and held it tightly.

He added, "And found friends."

"Yeah," I said. I lifted up my glass in my free hand, but then I was stuck.

"Um... how do we..." I started to say.

"Sh," he answered. "Hold it still."

I held the glass motionless, until there was a clink.

"Got it," he said.

I took a sip. It tasted like a white wine, maybe a Romorintintin. It had that German shepherd flavour.

"This is good," I said. "So did you cook dinner, or...?"

"I ordered out," he answered. "Pineapple fried rice."

"I like pineapple fried rice."

"I know."

"Is that why you picked it?"

"Yeah."

"Oh. Thanks."

I liked it significantly less before long. It kept sliding off my fork, and I kept putting an empty fork into my mouth. And once I finally did make some progress, I found that it was hard to tell which parts of the plate were empty. I had to feel around with my other hand.

All along, Fry offered to help. All along, I refused. I'm still not sure if they'll ever fix my vision. So I've been trying to learn to do stuff on my own.

I've made a little progress. I eventually figured out the walking straight part. But there's still a lot left to do.

As we were eating, Fry told me about some things that happened while I was "away", as he put it. There had been four completed buildings that fell down again when the quake bomb hit.

It turned out that this one, Fry's house, was the first one that they rebuilt.

He said, "I was like, 'Aren't there other buildings that you want? You know, that are more important?' And they were like, 'No, of course not!' They really wanted to rebuild this place."

"Instead of what?" I aksed him.

"Well, the sewage plant," he said. "I thought that woulda been kind of important. The power station. Things like that."

"They haven't built those?"

"They're working on them now. And they're starting up again on the other houses on this street."

I replied, "So then you won't be living way the hell out of town?"

"Way out in the boonies?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah, now I'll finally have some neighbours," he said.

"So wait," I said. "They rebuilt this place in, what, two weeks?"

"More like one week."

"How long did it take the first time?"

"Like, a month and a half," he told me. "But they had more guys working this time."

"They did?"

"Yeah. Remember the first time they built everything? There were, like, three or four people working on each building? This time, everybody was working on this place. And the guys who weren't building were helping me look for you."

"They were?"

"Yeah."

There was a pause.

"Amy... you seem like you're surprised."

"That they rebuilt it this quick?" I said. "Yeah. Of course I am."

He said, "No. No, you seem like you're surprised that they've all been helping. You've seen that. You know what the mutants are like."

"Yeah. I guess. It's just... it's different. Like this. You know?"

"Not really."

I shrugged. "Doesn't matter."

I worked at my plate of rice a while longer, and then I aksed him, "So... what have you been doing?"

"What do you mean?" he aksed.

"You know. I've been gone for, like, two weeks. What were you doing all that time?"

"Well... I was looking for you. I... I went out there at least once every day. Sometimes all day."

"Oh."

"And I talked to the guys building the clinic. I was over there a lot. And I went back to Earth a few times."

"Really?"

"Yeah," he said. "I, um, I went down to see Leela's parents. I went over to Planet Express a couple of times."

I nodded, but then he was quiet for a minute.

"And I talked to... you know... the software you."

"The software me?"

"Yeah. You remember her. She was kind of... well... she was upset about what... what happened to you."

"Upset?" I aksed. "Upset how?"

"Well, like, she was... she was afraid that, like, you were..."

He trailed off.

I finished for him, "That I was dead."

"Yeah. And... you know... so was I."

"Well... me too."

"Yeah," Fry responded. "She said something strange. She said that, like, she was the last surviving member of the Wong family."

"What?" I said. "What's strange about that? I mean, I am the last surviving member of the Wong family."

"Yeah. I know. It's just... I try not to think about it. I mean, I'm the last surviving member of the Fry family."

"Are you really?" I aksed. "I mean, the Professor is related to you. And Cubert."

"Yeah. But not that close. Right?"

"Yeah."

"Anyway... the software you is gonna be really pleased that you're okay. And she's gonna want to see you."

I looked up. "What? See me?"

"Yeah. She said that if we found you, she would want to meet you. To talk to you."

"Oh."

"Are you going to?" he aksed.

"Meet the software me? Yeah. I guess. I probably should."

We were quiet for a couple of minutes while I tried to finish off the last of the rice.

Then Fry said, "So, um... what do you want to do after this?"

"After dinner?"

"No, like, after we're done with building stuff. After the clinic opens and everything. What did you want to do? Because, like, you could go back to New New York and run Planet Express, or you could go to Mars and finish your PhD, or... well, you can do anything you want. You're rich."

"Yeah," I said. "But I... I want to stay."

"You do?"

"Yeah. I mean... if there's room here. With you. I... I could stay with you. If you... if you want."

My words were failing me, and I knew it. There wasn't a way to express how I felt about him.

Then, suddenly, I could feel his hands on my wrists. I put down my fork and let him take my hands, so that we were reaching across the table.

"I'd really like that, Amy," he said.

"Me too."

The tears were coming. I tried to stop them, but I knew it was going to be useless. It's like trying to stop your tub from overflowing, only the faucet is broken and won't shut off.

"Wait, hang on," he said as he released one of my hands.

"What?" I aksed him.

"You got a thing. A little smudge there on your face."

"What?" I aksed again. "Where?"

I felt around my face and tried to find it.

"I'll get it," he said.

He let go of my other hand, and then I heard his chair shifting. In a moment, his hand showed up beneath my chin and lifted it up.

Then something touched my lips. It was soft, but a little prickly around the outer parts.

The sensation seemed familiar. It rang a bell somewhere deep in my memory.

The next thing I knew, I was reacting, leaning in with some eagerness. And my heart started racing too.

I think my body figured it out before my mind did.

Fry was kissing me.

I couldn't believe it. It was exactly what I had wanted. What I had been wanting for months.

As surprising as that was, it was even more of a surprise when I pulled away. And the next thing I said went beyond surprising.

"Wait," I said to him. "What about... what about Leela?"

He was quiet for a moment.

It was the wrong thing to say, and I knew it. Way to wreck the moment, Amy girl, I thought.

Eventually, Fry answered. And what he said made all the other surprises to that point seem like glaring obviousness. Like that one Scary Door episode where the guy's worst critic turns out to be himself.

He held my hands again and aksed me, "So... how long is it going to be before you forget about her?"

"What?" I aksed. "About Leela? I... I'm never gonna forget about her. Never."

"Right," he responded. "Me either."

It took me a moment to realise that "never" was exactly what he was trying to get me to say.

"So it's pointless waiting any more," he added. "Right?"

I hadn't wanted to wait at all. But I didn't say it.

He said, "Look... if we had asked her what she would... what she would want us to do if... you know..."

If she died.

Even now, more than half a year later, we both had trouble talking about it.

He went on, "She wouldn't have wanted us to, like, avoid it. You know? I think she would have wanted us to give it a try. I think she would have told us to, like, not let her get in our way."

He was right. I knew he was. She would have hated to be the cause of her friends' misery. Even after her death.

Shit, even in those dreams, she was telling me the same thing. That I should give it a shot when Fry was ready.

Well, he kissed me, so I guess that meant he was ready.

Of course, that was back when I was having normal dreams. I couldn't understand the crazy shit that was passing for dreams these days.

With a start, I realised that Fry was talking again.

He said, "And... I mean... everybody said you had a thing for me. Right?"

"A thing for you?" I aksed, in a tone that was all but indignant. "I fucking love you."

One of his hands let go of mine, and then he was stroking my cheek.

"Amy?"

"Yeah?"

"I fucking love you, too."

"Then shut the fuck up and fucking kiss me," I replied.

He fucking did.

This time, I pulled him in close as my skin burned. His hand wrapped around my back, and then down. I was impatient for him to start groping my ass.

My hand slid down underneath his shirt, and I tried to lift it up. That wasn't working. I would have to unbutton it.

But just as I started, he put his hands on top of mine.

"Amy?" he said.

"Yeah?"

"I don't think we should."

"What?!" I snapped. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"I just... I don't think you're ready yet."

"You don't think I'm ready?" I shouted. "What have I been waiting for all this time?"

He said, "Well, I mean, you just came out of the... of the, you know, the building there."

"It's called a clinic," I said.

"No, the other one. The one that collapsed. I mean... it collapsed right on top of you. And the doctors just did all that to you. And they said that, you know, you should take it easy for a while. You shouldn't do any..."

"Strenuous exercise?"

"Yeah," he answered. "Stuff like that."

"It doesn't have to be strenuous," I said, in a low, sultry voice. "We can do it any way you want."

He paused, and then he just said, "I know."

I thought maybe I was talking him into it.

But then he added, "It's just, you know, everyone said that we should take it slow."

"Everyone?" I aksed him. "Who the hell's everyone?"

"Just, like, the doctors, and Clara, and Remi. You know. The ones who know you."

"Fry, you know me. Better than any of them."

"Yeah. And I think they're right."

"You do? Why?"

He sighed.

"I just don't want to rush," he said. "I don't want to rush it, and have one of us overreact, and... you know."

"You... you don't want me?" I aksed.

"Of course I do. That's not it."

I was completely lost. Shaking my head, I said, "Well... then... what is it?"

"It's just... we have plenty of time now. We have the rest of our lives together."

I stammered, "Yeah, but... you saw... you know, with Leela. You had... you had the rest of her life. And that... and that was..."

I stopped for a moment and put my hands to my face. I had been thrown so much that my words were falling over one another. I was having difficulty putting sentences together.

I took a deep breath, put my hands on top of my head, and said to him, "I guess I'm just saying, we should make the most of our time. Because, like, we don't know how much we have. Right?"

"Yeah," he said. "I agree."

"Oh," I said. "Wait. I... I don't understand."

"I do want to make the most of our time. We just don't have to, you know, sleep together."

"But I want to."

"Me too. I just don't think it's time yet."

"Well, I do."

He took my hands again. When he spoke, it was from right in front of me. As though he was kneeling down next to my chair.

"Please, Amy," he said.

In the end I couldn't turn him down.

"Fine," I sighed.

He kissed me again. It was shorter this time. And I didn't get any tongue.

When he broke away, he leaned his forehead against mine and whispered, "I love you."

"I love you," I whispered back.

My heart sped up again, and this time, there was spillover. I did start to cry.

But suddenly, he yanked me to my feet.

"Come on," he said. "Let's get dessert."

"What?" I aksed. "You said you didn't want to..."

"What?"

"I thought you, you know, you didn't want to... to fuck."

He answered, "Yeah. No, we're just going for dessert."

"Oh, that kind of dessert."

"Are you disappointed?" he aksed me.

"I guess not," I said. "I like that kind of dessert too. Of course, with Jazenny, that's –"

"With who?" Fry aksed.

Wait.

Jazenny didn't really exist. Did she?

Maybe she did. Maybe there was a Jazenny out there. Maybe I could find her.

How would I even go about finding someone that I've met only in dreams while I was being someone who's dead?

Well, I guess all I had to do was search for her name on the Neptunian boxing websites.

As I thought about whether there were any Neptunian boxing websites that I had heard of, I suddenly became aware of Fry's hands still holding mine.

"It... it doesn't matter," I said. "Forget it."

"Oh. Okay." He led me back into the house, but at one point he stopped and told me to wait. In a moment he came back and said, "This is for you."

Then I felt something on top of my ears, and something else on top of my nose.

"Glasses?" I aksed. "What the fuck good are glasses going to do for me?"

"They're shades," he told me. "They're mirrored. That way nobody can see your eyes."

"Oh. Do I want people to see my eyes?"

"Well, most blind people wear something like that. Because... well, your eyes don't quite... they..."

"I'm looking in the wrong direction," I said.

"Yeah," Fry said. "They warned me about that, and, you know, it's true. It does look kinda funny."

"How do my eyes look?" I aksed him. "Besides that."

"They look normal."

"Oh."

I could feel him sliding the shades down my nose.

"Yeah. They're still like your old eyes. Pretty."

He took my hand again, replaced the shades, and led me onto the Leela. Within the hour, we were landing in New New York.

But once he led me down the stairs, he suddenly said, "Aw, crud."

"What?"

"It's closed."

"What?" I aksed him. "What is?"

"Ben and Jerry Stiller's. See?"

I smacked his head.

I tried to, anyway. I think my fingertips brushed just above his ear, or something.

"What?" he aksed.

"I'm gonna do that every time you say see to me."

"Oh. Yeah. Sorry."

"It's okay," I said, reaching out for his hand again. "Why's it closed, anyway?"

"I dunno."

We walked down the street a while.

"Oh," he said. "It doesn't open until eleven."

"Why, what time is it now?"

He said, "Um... well, I know what time it is in Jenningsville."

I held out my wrist.

"What's that for?" Fry aksed.

"It can show you the local time."

"How?"

I held it up to myself and said, "Local time." It made the bwwip sound of a hologrammatic display opening.

"Oh," Fry said. "That is early."

I sighed. "What's it say?"

"Five twenty two," he responded.

"That is early. Didn't you look to see what time it was here before we left?"

"No."

"Well, you got to," I told him. "Take it from someone who's done a lot of commuting between planets."

"Well, anyway," he answered. "Any place you want to go instead? Someplace that's open?"

I said, "Well, there's..."

There was Kayleigh's, but Leela thought it was too ostentatious. Maybe Fry would too.

Fry eventually said, "Let's go back home. We can see if Moose has made cookies."

"Moose makes cookies?"

"Yeah. They're good."

"I like cookies."

"I know," he answered.

We went home.