Sooo, here comes the next chapter. And I'm really curious to your reactions to this one :D
And of course, I wouldn't kill Tarya off just this soon. That would be really mean towards Kili and also, there's still a lot for her to experience :D
Beloved Daughter: Yes, I would think that carrying Tarya wasn't as easy as it may have seemed in the last chapter... But hey, Elves are creative :D
Thank you guys so much for your reviews! And also for the favorites and follows! Seriously, it motivates me so much and gnahh, I wouldn't even have thought that this story would get so much interest in the first place :D
Anyway, enjoy this chapter aaaand let me know what you think... (mwaha. :D)
Kili couldn't believe what had happened. He had been more than just shocked to see Tarya being carried in by these Elves but he couldn't help but be incredibly thankful. She was still alive. He had not lost her and this fact had made is heart flutter in joy.
He hadn't even listened with half an ear when the Elf Lord had started to talk to his uncle; his thoughts were with Tarya, and Tarya only. Eventually, they had been led into the Elves' halls and to a room where they could place their belongings before they were invited to supper.
Kili was starving but he couldn't think of eating anything now.
"I want to see Tarya first" he said, causing Thorin to turn around and face him when the Elf had left the dwarves' room.
"I'm sure there will be time to do that after dinner," Thorin said, "She is not conscious at the moment, anyway."
Kili shook his head. "You don't understand," he said and the dwarf-king really didn't. Kili needed to see her. He couldn't think of anything but the Amarok at the moment and he wouldn't have a quiet moment before he could convince himself that she was all right.
"I must see her" Kili said determined and his uncle hesitated for a moment, thinking.
Thorin looked at his nephew thoughtfully. He knew that Kili had a special relationship with the Amarok and he now saw just how strongly his nephew felt for that wolf. But he couldn't deny that he wanted to know whether she was all right, too. She had fought for them, after all. Giving her life – so he had thought – to keep them safe. He wanted to see her, too, he realized and as he looked at his companions, he saw that they all had the same thoughts.
Tarya had really made her way into their hearts.
So he sighed quietly and nodded. "We will go see her."
"I would deem that wise," Gandalf said from his spot at the door, looking at Kili intently. The young dwarf didn't realize it but Thorin saw and he wondered what it meant.
An Elf led them to the healing chambers, then, and as they entered they saw that only one bed was occupied. Tarya lying on it, her injured flank facing to the ceiling. A blonde Elf woman who probably was the healer, Alatáriël, was standing next to the bed.
Kili made a few steps towards the bed immediately, coming to stand next to Tarya and leaving his companions to gather around the bed.
She looked miserable, he thought. Here eyes were closed, her breathing ragged and her beautiful black fur covered in dried blood. Kili felt a lump build in his throat when he looked at her and he felt someone put a hand on his shoulder. He could only imagine it to be Fili.
"Welcome," the tall elf woman said then, catching their attention. She was looking at them, a little bowl in her hands and a gentle smile on her face. "You must be the company of Thorin Oakenshield, then."
Thorin nodded at her and Gandalf smiled friendly. "Indeed, I am Gandalf. Good evening," the wizard said, "We have come to visit our friend."
The Elf stayed quiet for a moment, looking at the wolf on the bed, the flank of which she had applied her ointment to a few minutes before. She looked back up then and saw that they were all looking at her, except one who was not letting the wolf out of his sight.
"I am Alatáriël", she smiled, "and it is a pleasure to have you in our halls, then."
"How is she?" Kili interrupted, before anyone could actually answer the Elf. She gave him an interested look.
"The wound will need some time to heal properly but physically, she will be fine. This is a strong wolf," she said.
"What do you mean she will be fine physically?" Fili asked, looking at Tarya worriedly. "Is there something else wrong?"
"Well," Alatáriël said and looked at the wizard for a second before looking back at the blonde dwarf. "She seems troubled. She could have woken up by now, considering her strength and the effect of the ointment."
Gandalf hummed his understanding, observing the wolf thoughtfully.
Kili walked up to Tarya and watched her carefully. He frowned when his gaze fell upon her right foreleg. There was a part of bright grey fur reaching around it like bracelet where before the fur had been black as the night. Kili was sure of that.
"We should go to dinner," Gandalf then said slowly before Kili could ask what was going on. Thorin agreed since there was nothing more they could do here, as Tarya was unconscious and as it looked, she would stay like this for a while.
"Come, Kili," his uncle said and the young dwarf hesitantly looked up to meet his gaze. "She is fine and in good hands. You have to regain some energy yourself, nephew."
Kili sighed and eventually nodded. Thorin was right. He would simply come back to Tarya after dinner to look after her. So he walked out of the room after the others, leaving his friend alone with the elven healer.
Tarya felt like she was flying and drowning at the same time.
It was a horrible feeling. It made her sick and she just wanted it to stop. She didn't know how long she had been unconscious. Although, she wasn't completely sure that she actually was, it rather felt like she was awake but something – or someone – was keeping her from opening her eyes.
The whispering hadn't stopped, it came to her from time to time, echoing through her head but she couldn't make out the words that were being said. And she didn't want to because she was sure that if she would give in to the voice, she wouldn't be able to ever open her eyes again. It was pure instinct that told her to ignore it and not let it get deeper.
But that was difficult because the voice became louder and more demanding every time it came back. And Tarya felt weaker each time. Eventually, she wasn't strong enough anymore to hold it out of her thoughts. It was agitating her and something about it made her want to snarl and bite and just rip something apart. She felt herself become angry when the whispering was near and then the feeling suddenly ceased when the voice disappeared for another moment.
"I cannot help but wonder how you made the acquaintance of an Amarok," Elrond muttered towards Gandalf, after having explained the origin of Thorin's and Gandalf's sword to the both of them and found out that they had been travelling the Great East road.
"Oh, it was a rather curious twist of fate, one could say." Gandalf answered and Elrond could only raise an eyebrow at his old friend. Thorin was listening quietly, hoping to finally understand what had the wizard so intrigued about Tarya. He had seen the look on his face and it had changed since he had seen the Amarok this evening.
"Rather curious, indeed." Elrond said, "It seems, she has already committed herself to someone."
Gandalf merely hummed thoughtfully, looking down the table to where Kili was talking to his brother and Bofur. Thorin followed his gaze and frowned deeply. He then looked at the elf questioningly. "What do you mean by that?" he asked and Elrond looked at him with a slight smile around his lips.
"I have noticed a ring of fair fur around her foreleg." Elrond said, "Legend says that Amarok can commit themselves to someone when they decide that their life is worthy of their own."
Thorin's frown deepened as he looked across the table at Gandalf. The wizard was studying him with a look that was difficult to decipher. As were basically all his looks, Thorin realized. He never actually knew what the wizard was thinking.
"So, Tarya committed herself to Kili when she saved his life?" Thorin asked lowly, looking over at his nephew for a moment. Kili was oblivious to their conversation as were the rest of the company. Only Balin was silently listening to them.
Gandalf nodded and Elrond looked over at the mentioned young dwarf in interest. "And what happens when they commit themselves to someone?" Thorin asked then. He was met with silence for a moment while Gandalf and Elrond looked at each other.
"I cannot tell for I have never seen it happen," Gandalf said.
Tarya couldn't hold the whispering voice out of her thoughts anymore. It was there and it was lulling her into a maze of hatred.
It urged her to hate. To hate the people who had hunted her ancestors down, the people who were still trying to catch her whenever they realized what she was. It wanted her to understand just how unfair the people of Middle-Earth had treated her kin, still did.
She saw images in her head, horrible ones. Amaroks being hunted, cries, whines, caves, blood. Death.
'You could stop this…', she heard the voice say. 'We could avenge the injustice that has been brought upon your kin.'
Tarya couldn't deny that she was feeling a deep rage rumbling within her. It was true. Amarok had been treated badly, outrageously unfair and they had done nothing to deserve such treatment. And it was not right that they had to hide from the world in order to keep safe. They should be able to live in peace. And maybe, they would have to fight for this right.
'You know I am right. But you cannot win this fight on your own.' Tarya heard the voice echo through her head, it sounded strangely pleased. 'Accept my help. Let me guide you.'
She wasn't sure what do to. The voice sounded calm and reasonable. But Tarya felt uneasy about it. This wasn't right. This coldn't be right. She didn't feel like this, she had never been an angry Amarok. It was the voice, she realized, that made her feel like this. It wasn't trying to help her in any way; it was trying to posses her.
She snarled. She would not be fooled so easily and only over her dead body would someone so hateful rule her.
Kili had left the company after dinner and was now heading back towards the healing chambers. While the others were having their little after-dinner with their own food and particularly meat, he couldn't think of chatting with them now. He had not eaten much during dinner but he didn't feel very hungry anymore. He just wanted to be with Tarya and make sure she was all right.
As he entered the room, the elven healer was nowhere to be seen. It was quite dark inside and he could only see Tarya's silhouette still lying on the same bed as before in the same position.
He walked over to the bed and sighed deeply when he saw his animal friend breathing heavily. Her wound seemed to heal very quickly, though, he observed happily. Silently, he searched for something he could sit on and watch her and after a few seconds, he found a chair and dragged it to the side of the bed. He let himself fall onto the chair heavily.
Kili let his gaze wander over the wolf's body. The wound on her flank seemed considerably smaller and the dwarf wondered if that had to do with her being an Amarok. Maybe their wounds healed faster than normal? Kili didn't know.
He still couldn't believe that she had made it out of the whole affair alive. Kili had thought her dead and he couldn't help the warm feeling that spread through him ever since he had learned that she wasn't. He couldn't explain it. He had been devastated and now he could have screamed in joy. This Amarok, Tarya, had a place in his heart he knew that by now. He just hadn't thought that it was such a big one.
He leaned forward with a silent sigh.
"Don't scare me like that again, do you hear me?" he said to the sleeping wolf. "No more protecting me from now on."
Tarya snarled suddenly and Kili twitched a little. He looked at her but her eyes were still closed. Tentatively he reached out to stroke her head.
"I don't know what haunts you but you're safe here, Tarya. You're alive and you're here. With me." He said, caressing her fur tenderly. "We made it," He smiled.
She didn't really react to him, if only she relaxed a bit. Kili stayed with her for a long time and eventually, he fell asleep beside the bed.
Tarya had thought she'd heard a familiar voice. It was a deep, sweet baritone that she would have identified as Kili's voice between a thousand others. She couldn't make out what he was saying. But he was here. He was near her, which meant that he was alive. And it meant that she was alive, too. And that she could get rid of the hateful voice in her mind to reach outside. To reach Kili.
And then, suddenly, there was another voice.
A mild voice that shone through the darkness that still surrounded her like a bright light.
'Ùlfur', it said, 'Vertu hughraustur, lìtill ùlfur!'
Tarya couldn't place the owner of the voice but it sounded strangely familiar. And it gave her back the hope she needed. So she tried again to fight herself out of the darkness, she concentrated, taking it as it was; a black mass that she had to reach through. She tried to shove it away with only her mind. And surprisingly, it worked.
She could feel the weight of it lifting a bit and her mind cleared. The whispering became quieter. Breathing became easier.
'Vænn' said the female voice in her head gently.
The voice echoed clearly through her mind. It was so near and yet it felt like it was coming from very far away. But Tarya felt how her strength slowly came back to her.
So she took a deep breath and then she could suddenly feel an extreme warmth beginning to spread in her body, originating in her chest.
'Munu ljòs' the voice rang through her mind one last time, sounding mild and friendly, before it disappeared.
Tarya felt the warmth spreading further through her belly, down her legs and arms. It made her body tickle but it didn't feel bad.
She opened her eyes.
And there he was. Kili. Fast asleep on a chair beside the bed she was apparently lying on. A big smile grew on her face and she sat up.
She tried to get off the bed and to wake him but as she did so, something caught her sight. She was propping herself up on the edge of the mattress but as she lowered her gaze to her paws, her breath hitched in hear throat.
That was... There were –
A piercing shriek erupted from her throat as she lost her balance and fell to the ground with a loud thump.
Kili opened his eyes and jumped up in shock after hearing someone scream in horror and immediately reached out to grab is sword, which wasn't attached to his side he realized with frustration.
He looked over to Tarya's bed, which was empty and he already felt the dread climb up his stomach when he heard a muffled groan from the floor before him.
Kili looked down and his mouth opened in confusion and speechlessness. A familiar pair of golden eyes stared up at him, shocked and fearful.
He had never seen an expression like this in these eyes. But there was another rather significant difference. The eyes now belonged to a small woman with black hair.
Both woman and dwarf stared at each other in shock for several moments. Kili didn't know what to say. He didn't know what was going on. He didn't know who that girl was. Although he had a sneaking suspicion. But that couldn't be true. It was impossible.
The woman lying on the floor, staring up at him out of a pile of blankets that she had apparently dragged along when she'd fallen to the floor, could not be – Kili couldn't even finish the thought.
"Wha…" he stuttered helplessly, trying to make sense of what was happening. There was only one way to find out, he thought. So he braced himself. He closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath.
When he reopened his eyes, the girl had scrambled to the edge of the bed, leaning against it, her knees held firmly to her body. She looked at her arms in sheer horror, her eyes as big as plates.
"Tarya?" Kili asked carefully and her gaze immediately shot up to him. She made a helpless noise, a sort of whimper. And then she nodded.
"By Mahal," Kili breathed.
A little explanation of the foreign language in Tarya's head:
Ùlfur - Wolf
Vertu hughraustur, lìtill ùlfur! - Be brave, little wolf!
Vænn - Good
Munu ljòs - Become light