My Ship trilogy

by deb-h

Amy says: "A cruel twist in fate begins this epic tale-in-progress chronicling the end of my innocence." Most recently posted is the nineteenth part, in which there are quite a lot of confrontations. The title "My Ship" now refers to parts 1-6, and "Down for the Count" to parts 7-19. M for strong language and some sexual content.

15. Down for the Count part 9: Explicate

Down for the Count, ninth part: Explicate

by Deb H

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Tuesday 21 August 3004

"Hey Leela."

"Amy, has anyone ever told you that you're a dirty, manipulative, klutzy whore who's shallower than a forkful of soup?"

"Yeah, you. You've told me that a lot. But not for a while now. Why, what's wrong?"

"What's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong. I'm at that place you wanted to meet me at. On Mulberry Street?"

"Oh, right."

"You said you'd meet me here."

"Yeah. No, I was never gonna meet you there."

"What? Then why'd you send me here? It's Little Neptune. Little fucking Neptune, you empty headed slut. What the fuck is the matter with you?"

"Leela, come on. It's been three weeks. Don't you miss her? Don't you want to see her again?"

"No, I don't. I don't... it's over."

"Over?! Leela, she was crazy about you! Still is! She said she's been calling you every day! Don't you answer her?"

"There's nothing to say."

"Leela, look. You were... you were happy. You were actually happy. I'd never seen you like that before. You were in a good mood all the time. You didn't let shit get to you. You didn't even seem to mind coming in to work."

"Well, now I –"

"And now you're bitchy."

"Yeah, because you keep talking about her."

"No, I mean, you're bitchy. Continuously bitchy. You've been bitchy all the time, 24/7, ever since you broke it off with her."

"So?"

"Look, just tell me one thing. Were you happy?"

"It doesn't matter. I'm –"

"Leela, think back. You remember it. You remember how it was with her. Just tell me. Were you happy?"

"Well, yeah, but –"

"Yeah. Of course you were. It was clear to anyone. Why'd you throw that away?"

"She's the one who –"

"No she's not. You are. It's you. You gave her all that shit, but you forgot that you had done the same thing."

"Well, it's too late to mention it now."

"It's never too late. I mean, you gotta tell her. Will you at least do that?"

"Fine."

"Great. You'll be back together in no time."

"I fucking hate you, Amy."

"No you don't. Nobody hates me."

"Goodbye."

"Bye! Good luck!"

"Fuck you."

I hung up and waited a moment for my anger to die down. Then I walked into the athletic club, underneath the banner announcing the one hundred seventeenth annual Four Fists Classic.

Jazenny had explained it to me, back when I was still talking to her. It was an annual boxing tournament for Neptunians, featuring some of the top amateur boxers aged twenty three and under. This would have been Jazenny's last year eligible if she hadn't turned pro. Instead, they invited her for a special bout against the winner of the women's middleweight tournament.

The room was nowhere near as big or as extravagant as the arena at Cheney's Palace. The space was downright utilitarian: there was equipment like punching bags, weight sets, and medicine balls arranged haphazardly against the walls, as though it had all been pushed out of the way recently to make room for the folding chairs that had been put down all around the boxing ring. It looked like there were a few hundred seats there, more than half occupied. A couple of immense fans churned from the ceiling far overhead, offering just a bit of relief from the stifling summer heat outside.

I bought a ticket and sat in the back of the gym. I tried to ignore the stares.

Ignoring stares is something I've had to get good at over the years. So I notice when the type of stare is different from the revolted or disgusted stares I get from most people, or the puppy dog stare I get from Fry.

These Neptunians, though, were giving me pissed off stares. They knew exactly who I was.

I watched the semifinals in the men's heavyweight division. During one of them, a guy came up and sat next to me.

"You're Leela, right?" he said.

"Yeah."

I didn't want to talk to him, but there wasn't much point trying to deny it. What was I going to say? "No, I just happen to be another tall purple haired cyclops"?

"I'm Badower," he replied. "Bantamweight."

I shook his hand, a little warily.

He said, "It's nice to meet you. It's good that you came."

I looked around. "They don't seem to think so."

"That's their problem."

I watched the rest of the round.

After the bell rang, Badower turned to me again and said, "Listen. Maybe it's none of my business, but... well... Jazenny really wants to talk to you. She feels terrible about what happened."

I sighed and said, "Well, I guess I should talk to her too."

"Good. Just go to the back after her fight. It's the last one tonight."

He started to get up, but then I aksed him, "Hey, would you mind not telling her I'm here?"

He looked at me funny.

I added, "I just don't want to distract her, that's all."

"Oh, I see," he said. "Sure, that's no problem."

He stood up and disappeared down a tunnel in the back.

The fight ended, and they had a short break before the weight class finals began.

Jazenny had been delighted when she got the invitation to fight in the Four Fists Classic. She said it had been her favourite tournament to compete in, so much so that she was in it five times. She thought she was giving up her chance for a sixth appearance when she turned pro. So the invitation to come back was something she couldn't pass up.

There was only one small problem. The tournament was the same day we had picked for our wedding.

Before long, the title bouts started. They had six of them in all: women's lightweight and middleweight, and men's bantamweight, welterweight, middleweight, and heavyweight. Jazenny had told me that the specific list of weight classes changed each year according to how many people in which classes entered.

I paid particular attention to the women's middleweight final, won by someone named Annie Miltanizzi. She was an infighter, someone who likes to stay close to the opponent and try to win using combinations of punches. I could tell that would be a problem for Jazenny. Outfighters like Jazenny, who are usually taller and try to wear down the opponent by repeated long range punches, tend to fare worse against infighters.

The men's finals were all completed within another hour and a half, and suddenly it was time for Jazenny's fight.

I'll admit that it gave me a bit of a thrill to see her walk out from the locker rooms, outfitted in that distinctive forest green that looked so striking on her. The gloves, mostly in green, had white across the knuckles, as was the rule for amateur competitions like this. A punch counted only if the white part of your glove struck your opponent above the waist. I also let my gaze linger on the shorts, in green with a white stripe down each side, and the tank top, in the reverse.

She bounded down the aisle toward the ring, looking all around the gym with an excited smile on her face. Then she smiled and waved a gloved hand at Annie, who waved back. Jazenny didn't seem to see me.

The crowd gave her a very warm reception. The room had filled up, and I even saw some people standing along the back walls. I knew that she had become fairly well known, but it looked like everyone had come out to see the Monsoon from Little Neptune.

But ten minutes after that, Jazenny was lying on the canvas, face down and bloody.

It happened late in the second round. They fight for three rounds, each lasting three minutes. I was expecting the fight to go the distance; they usually do.

Jazenny was performing quite well against Annie. Annie's flurries of punches weren't really landing, as Jazenny could back away from most of them. I was expecting Annie, who was much shorter, to duck out of the way of most of Jazenny's blows, but for some reason she wasn't. So Jazenny was landing plenty of punches.

With less than a minute remaining in the second round, Jazenny blocked a hook and stepped to the side. For an instant, she saw me over Annie's shoulder.

Then she looked again.

I could see her eyes getting wide and her shoulders dropping. It all seemed to happen in slow motion.

I knew she had made a critical mistake, even as Annie's counterattack was coming. There were two nearly simultaneous punches, an uppercut with her upper right fist and a hook with her lower right. The hook struck Jazenny in the stomach and knocked her back. A fraction of a second later, the uppercut slammed into her chin.

The combination of punches threw Jazenny off balance. She hadn't even seen them coming, and she was trying to step back when the uppercut landed. That made her fall forward. Then, with a heavy crunch, Jazenny's face slammed into the canvas.

I didn't even wait for the referee to stop the fight. I jumped out of my seat and climbed over the rows of folding chairs in front of me. The doctor was already there when I made it to ringside.

"She's okay," he said. "Just unconscious."

I helped him carry her back to the locker room. He cleaned up her snoutbleed and then pulled a black metal rod out of his case.

"What's that?" I said.

"It's to treat her brain injury."

"Brain injury?" I aksed him.

He said, "She got a concussion when her head hit the canvas."

"I... I thought there was a fix for that," I said.

"Yeah, this," he replied, waving the rod.

As I took the gloves off her hands one by one by one by one, I watched the doctor treat her. He put one end into her ear and pressed a button. It made some beepy noises, and four lights of various colours flashed along its length.

When it made a whooshy noise and stopped, the doctor took it out of her ear and put it down. "She should be fine now," he told me. "She should wake up in a minute. Come get me if she doesn't."

As he left, I picked up the rod. It read UnCussionator along one side. Small text next to that read: Another fine product by Farnsworth Doomsday and World Ending Concepts Incorporated.

"Oh lord," I sighed.

"What is it, Eel?"

I looked up. Jazenny's eyes fluttered open, and she sat up straight.

"Hey," I said. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I think so. I –"

Just then, Annie burst in and aksed, "How is she?"

"Hey," Jazenny said to her. "I'm okay, I think."

"That's good," Annie replied as she sat down on the bench next to Jazenny. "Sorry."

"It's okay. That was really good. I nearly had you."

"Nearly," Annie answered.

"Hang on," Jazenny said. She turned to me and said, "Hey, it's really good to see you again."

"Yeah. You too. Sorry about –"

She held up a hand and said, "Actually, could you give us a couple of minutes?"

I looked down.

Annie was holding Jazenny's hand.

"Oh," I replied, not caring about the frigidity creeping into my voice. "Of course."

I got up and left, quietly. I tried to come up with some kind of remark about Annie, but I couldn't think of anything. Besides, that was more Amy's style, not mine.

My style was to take the tube back to Planet Express and beat the shit out of the punching bag. So that's what I did.

Amy was right. I didn't have anyone to blame but myself.

It had been just three weeks until the big day. Jazenny and I had chosen our location, our gowns, our bridespeople, and our invitation fonts.

Some decisions had been easy. Jazenny picked her sister, Carly, as her maid of honour. I had aksed Amy to be my maid of honour and Fry to be a bridesman. I also aksed Fry to walk me down the aisle. Jazenny and I had picked out matching wedding gowns, but then we each had met with the tailor individually to customise them. We'd settled on blue dresses for Carly and Amy, and a tux for Fry that had a matching blue bowtie and cummerbund.

When she got the invitation to fight at the Four Fists Classic, I didn't mind. In fact, I was pleased for her. I told her I was looking forward to seeing her fight and then whisking her away to the hotel in Mars Vegas, where Amy had booked a ballroom for the ceremony.

But then she aksed me not to come to the tournament.

"What?" I had aksed her, dumbfounded. "What are you talking about? I haven't missed any of your fights since we met. This one's so important to you. I'm sure as hell not starting now."

She had replied, "You don't understand. You can't see me on the big day. It's bad luck."

"What? Who said that?"

"My mother," she told me. "That's what she always said to me."

We argued about that for a while, and I had actually been close to acquiescing.

But then Jazenny said, "Besides, that's what I did last time."

"Last time what?" I aksed her.

"Last time I got married."

"Wait, what?!" I had demanded. "You've been married before? And you never told me?"

She tried to explain that it was behind her. They had divorced quickly, and she had moved away. She said that she didn't think about it any more.

But I was still angry about it. Finally, I said to her, "Well, maybe we should do what my mother wants."

"What?" she had aksed. "What are you talking about?"

"Maybe... maybe you should stay at your own place tonight."

I hadn't seen her again since then.

I had heard her voice, though. She banged on my door for about ten minutes after I made her leave. Eventually she gave up and went home, but she called me a few times the next day. She kept calling, at least once per day, but I never answered. She would always leave either a voicemail or a vidmail, each time apologising and begging me to call her back. Usually she also said something to the effect of not being able to live without me.

While I was taking my frustrations out on the punching bag, the thing I always wear on my wrist rang. It showed Jazenny's number. I ignored it and gave the bag the hardest roundhouse kick I could.

After about an hour and a half, the doorbell rang. I kept working out.

The doorbell rang again. I refused to acknowledge it.

It rang a third time. I shouted, "Somebody get that!"

It rang a fourth time.

I yanked the towel from the stool and tried to wipe off my face as I stomped toward the front door. It was late at night, but the building was still hot. The Professor's thrift stood between us and a decent air conditioning system.

"Well, of course it's you," I snarled. "Where's your girlfriend?"

"Well... hopefully... right there," Jazenny responded, pointing at me. "Can I come in?"

She sounded meek.

I didn't think I had ever heard her like that.

"Why are you here?" I aksed her. "We've both moved on."

"Please, Leela. I... I just want to talk."

"Fine."

I led her to the lounge. She sat on the couch, and I leaned against one of the chairs at the table in the opposite corner.

"We'll make it fast," I said. "I know you have to get back to your woman."

"She's not my woman."

"Don't pretend," I snapped. "I saw how she was clinging to you."

"Yeah," she answered. "She was clinging to me. Not the other way around. Anyway, I told her to get lost."

"You what?"

"I told her to take a hike. Leela... I was just... I'm sorry. I went down there the morning after you, you know, threw me out."

"Down where?"

"The athletic club. Little Neptune. I just started working on the bag. You know, working on my punches." All of her fists sprang to life, swishing through the air in front of her, as she continued, "I was, like, punching the shit out of that thing, I was so frustrated. Then she came over and said hi. I'd seen her down there before. I knew she was pretty good. We started sparring, and... um... well, I guess one thing led to another."

"It usually does with you," I replied.

She looked up in surprise.

She was clearly hurt by that.

"I'm sorry, okay?" she said again. "It was just... she was there. She was there, that's all. It's not like what we have. It's nothing like what we have."

"Did you fuck her?" I aksed.

"Well, yeah. But... but that's all."

"She sparred with you."

"What? Yeah."

"I aksed you if you fucked her. You said that was all. But then you said you also sparred with her."

"Of course I did. We're boxers. What else do boxers do when they're training?"

"But you just said it was nothing like what we had."

"Yeah. It wasn't. It wasn't anywhere near."

"But we did those things," I said.

"What?"

"You did the same things with her that you did with me. And you're telling me that it's nothing like what we had?"

"No, I... what? It wasn't like what we had. Have," she added emphatically. "I'm not giving up on the present tense yet. Anyway, why do you care? I thought you had moved on."

I retorted, "I thought you had moved on."

"Well, I haven't," she answered. "That's why I'm here."

There was a pause.

Then Jazenny said, "Look, I... you'd thrown me out."

"I didn't throw you out."

"You pretty much did, Leela. I was alone. I was alone, and she was there, and... and... it just kinda happened. It didn't mean anything. It was just a rebound."

"Yeah," I said. "Next you're gonna tell me that you were thinking of me the whole time."

"Actually... I was."

I looked over at her.

She wasn't meeting my gaze. She was suddenly very interested in the leading edge of her thumbnails.

"So... yeah. I'm sorry," she said. "I'm really sorry that I cheated on you. I... well, maybe you think it wasn't cheating. Maybe you think we were on a break, or something. But I didn't. I felt like I was cheating on you. I knew I had to stop. I knew I had to break it off. And I didn't. I..."

She looked up and, staring intently into my eye, continued, "I'm sorry, Leela. I feel... well, there was no reason for me to do that to you. And if you don't ever want to see me again... well, I guess I'll be okay with that, eventually. But first..."

"What?" I aksed her.

"I feel like I should tell you."

"Tell me what?"

"You know. My first marriage."

"Oh lord," I murmured, burying my face in my hands.

"What?"

"Nothing," I answered. "I just... I guess there's something I should tell you too."

"Okay," Jazenny said. "But can I go first?"

"Well, actually..."

"Please?"

Even then, I couldn't say no to her.

"Well, I guess I should start with how we met," she said. She held up her wrist and began pressing some buttons.

"What are you doing?" I aksed her.

"I'm just gonna show you the video."

"You have it on video?"

She looked up at me for a moment. "C'mere," she said, resting a hand on the couch next to her. Her other hands were still working on her wrist.

I sighed and sat next to her.

Finally, a holographic display appeared in front of us.

"Wait. Is that The Price Is Right?" I aksed her.

"Yeah."

It was the Showcases, at the end of the show. I saw Jazenny standing behind one podium. A tall girl, almost as tall as Jazenny, stood behind the other. She had long black hair that cascaded loosely past her shoulders and partway down her back. MILINDA, read her name tag.

Jazenny looked almost exactly the same. Her hair didn't stick out quite as far, but that was the only difference.

Their arms were around each other's shoulders, just for a moment, as they returned from the commercial break.

Milinda wore a Columbia University shirt. Jazenny's shirt read...

"'Boxers 4 Drew'?" I aksed.

"I went with some other people from the athletic club," she said. "Somebody made matching shirts for all of us to wear."

Drew Carey's head listed the contents of Jazenny's Showcase: a living room set and a hoverboat. Jazenny had bid $31,000, but the actual price was just over $22,000. Jazenny's podium lit up in red, with the word OVER.

Jazenny nodded, as though she knew she was over. But then she reached out and held on to Milinda's hand. I could faintly hear her say, "Good luck."

Drew's head moved on to Milinda. Her Showcase was a holocamcorder, a trip to Australia, and a Jaguar rocket car.

"Wow," I said.

"You bid $62,350," Drew's head said. "Actual retail price..."

Milinda looked over at him, eyes wide as she gripped the podium.

"Oh no. Sixty two thousand, two hundred twelve."

A howl of anguish erupted from the audience, making the losing horns almost completely inaudible. Milinda slumped forward and rested her forehead on the podium.

Drew's head said, "Milinda, I'm so sorry. Over by a hundred thirty eight. Nobody wins their Showcase."

As he told us to spay, neuter, and suppress the global domination instincts of our pets, I saw Jazenny lead Milinda offstage.

Jazenny said to me, "So, yeah, that's Milinda. I called her My Linda. Apparently."

"'Apparently'?" I aksed.

She went on, "See... the thing is, a couple of years ago, time just, like, went fuckwise. Like, you'd be sitting there, and all of a sudden, it would be a few minutes later. Or a week later. Or... more than that."

"Time skips," I said.

"Yeah. You remember them?"

With a strong dose of reluctance, I responded, "We, um... we kinda... you could say... caused them."

Now Jazenny stared at me.

"Wait. What do you mean you... well, let's come back to that," she said. "Anyway, do you know how I realised I'm gay?"

"No."

She told me, "Well, for the longest time, I didn't have any interest in anybody. Guys, girls, hermaphrodites, nothing. I didn't care. I was only into boxing. I was just fighting, and going to classes, and studying, and training, and fighting again. That was my life. That was it. I never bothered with anything else.

"So, one minute I'm sitting in my bed, studying, the night before my first day as a senior in high school. Next minute, I'm in a completely different bed. Arms around a girl. Human girl. Japanese, or something. Fairly tall, for a human. Skinny, kind of. Small breasts, but, like... perfect nipples. Little round things. Anyway, I jump out of bed. I crash into something, because, you know, I'm in a new, unfamiliar room. Turned out to be, like, a section of a totem pole from Vancouver, or something. Anyway, eventually I find the light switch. She, like, jolts awake. We're both like, 'Who the hell are you?' But we look around, and we realise we have rings on our fingers. Matching rings. With, like, a tiny diamond, and a little sapphire next to it. We look around some more. The walls are covered with pictures. Of us. The two of us.

"So, like, in a flash, I went from an antisocial, antisexual high school senior to, like, a twenty one year old boxer who's about to turn pro. Oh, and I was also married, and a lezzie. No idea what happened in between."

Jazenny sat up and lifted her feet onto the couch. She put her lower arms around her knees.

"I mean, we figured it out," she went on. "Most of it. Our friends told us we met at that Price Is Right taping. Apparently we got to talking during the commercial breaks, because we were both from New New York. She was older than me. She would have been about to get her master's then. We would have gone out for about two years before we got married. And we came out of the time skip, like, six months after the wedding."

"So what did you do?"

"Kept calm and carried on," she said with a single shrug. "We tried to, at least. It just... it wasn't there. It wasn't there between us. We figured there must have been something there if we got married in the first place. But we just couldn't find it again.

"So one day I went back to Little Neptune. I wanted to talk to my mother. See what she thought. See if she knew.

"The building was empty. Whole building. She was the property manager, see. She ran the building. So when I got there, the place was completely deserted. Nobody there. Every apartment is empty. Including hers. I was like, what the hell's going on? I called her. Number didn't work. So I went to the restaurant down the street, the one that we always went to. Guy who runs it was like, 'Hey. Haven't seen you since...' And I was like, 'Since what?' So I told him I was looking for my mother. He was like, 'I don't understand.' I was like, 'The place is completely empty. Looks like they're getting ready to tear it down. And where's my mother?' He was like, 'You really don't remember.' I was like, 'Remember what? The fuck's going on here? Tell me!'

"So he took me into the back and showed me these pictures.

"It was a funeral. My mother's funeral."

Jazenny crossed her legs under her, and then she clasped her hands and stared at them for a while.

I realised she was still wearing her ring.

Our ring.

"He said it was an aneurysm," Jazenny went on. "Like, a blood vessel broke, and hemorrhaged into her brain. Something like that. They did surgery, but it didn't work. Everybody was at her funeral. Including Milinda and me, apparently. He showed me the pictures. We were right there, in the front row.

"So I went back and told Milinda. She didn't know either. Everybody else seemed to know what happened during the time skip, but not us. So she tried to help me those first few weeks. It wasn't working.

"I finally realised I needed a new start. The divorce went through, like, instantly. We didn't have much stuff to fight over. Just the totem poles and shit. And I knew I didn't want those."

She paused, and then she went on, "So then I moved to San Antonio. And then I decided to turn pro. Then I met Amy, and then she introduced me to you, and... and then I fucked it up."

"No," I said. "No. You... you're not the one who fucked it up."

She looked up at me.

I continued, "See... I've been married too."

She nodded. "I thought you might have. Amy said... well, she kinda suggested that you had something that you should tell me."

"Yeah," I said. "It's actually... it's actually a lot like your story."

I told her about the Globetrotters' visit to Earth, the Professor's atomic superboys, and our hunt for chronotons. Then I mentioned Fry's attempt at creating a timeproof shelter.

Then I said, "And the next thing I knew, I was standing with him at the altar."

"Wait," Jazenny said. "Him?"

"Yeah."

"Fry?"

"Yeah."

"How the hell did he manage that?"

"He tricked me."

"What? What do you mean, tricked you? How do you trick someone into marrying you?"

"I don't know," I replied. "But he did."

"You sure he didn't, like, win your heart with some grand, epic, romantic gesture?"

"Like what?" I snapped.

She seemed to recoil a little bit when I did that. She looked away and shook her head a bit.

I sighed, "Look, Jazenny. The point is... I fucked up. I totally ripped into you for not telling me. And the whole time, I had forgotten that I'd been married too."

"I understand," she said. "I mean, I wasn't, like, trying to hide it from you or anything. I just... I don't think about it any more. It's like it was someone else. Not me."

I held out my hands. "Can you forgive me?"

"Of course I can," she said as she wrapped up my hands in a tight grasp. "Can you forgive me?"

"Of course."

She leaned closer to me.

I leaned closer to her.

Then there was a loud crack as she gave me a ferocious slap right across the face.

I wanted to hold a hand to my cheek, but she was still holding my hands in her lower hands. She wouldn't let go.

"Owwww!" I shouted. "What the fuck was that for?"

"Leela, listen," she said as she put her upper hands on my shoulders. "I'd love to be able to forget about all this. You know, to just pick up where we left off. But I can't. You... you really hurt me."

"What?" I aksed. "You just forgave me. I... I thought you said you didn't care whom I'd been with."

"Not that," she said, shaking her head. "I have forgiven you for that. But it's... I... I kept calling you. I kept calling you and calling you and calling you and calling you. And... you just never answered."

Her voice started to waver as she went on, "The first day, I was like, 'Well, maybe she's away on a mission.' So I kept leaving you more messages. But then after a few days, I started to worry. I thought, like, maybe something happened to her. So I called Amy. She said you were fine. I was like, 'Well, why the fuck isn't she calling me back?' And Amy was like, 'Why wouldn't she call you back?' And I was like, 'That's what I'm aksing you, dipshit!' I told her that you had kicked me out, and you weren't talking to me. She didn't even know. You didn't even mention it to her."

I said, "Well, I didn't really mention it to anyone."

"Not even your parents?"

"I haven't talked to them since we went down there."

Jazenny's mouth fell open. Then she shook her head and said, "Sweetheart... you keep doing this. You keep, you know, locking people out of your life. You don't have to. You totally don't have to do that. There are people who love you."

"Like you?" I aksed her.

She nodded, tears starting to form in her eyes. "Of course like me," she said, with a voice becoming steadily more impassioned. "Of course I love you."

"Even... even after what I did to you?"

"Yes."

I looked down at the floor. I was quiet for a few moments.

Then, with a heavy sigh, I murmured, "I really fucked this one up, didn't I?"

"What?" she aksed. "No."

She leaned in toward me again. She was still holding my hands in two of hers, and with a free hand, she lifted up my chin and turned my head to face her.

"No?" I aksed as I raised my eyebrow.

Jazenny replied, "Well, maybe a little."

I looked away again.

Then she said, "So... how come you came out tonight?"

"To the tournament?" I aksed. "Well, actually, that was Amy."

"Amy?" she said.

"Yeah," I told her. "She was going to meet me somewhere. She gave me an address. And it turned out to be your gym."

"Oh."

Now Jazenny looked away. She added, "I thought maybe you..."

When she trailed off, I aksed her, "What?"

"Nothing."

"No, come on. What were you going to say?"

"Nothing," she repeated. "I thought... well, I guess I just thought that maybe you had come on your own."

"I did. Amy set me up. She was never going to show up. I came by myself."

She said, "No, I... you know what I mean. I thought you had come because you wanted to. Because you... you wanted to see me again."

This time, neither of us could meet each other's gaze.

Finally I started to talk again. "Look, I... I wasn't planning to. And when I realised what was going on, I damn near walked away. But then... but then something just kind of, I don't know, drew me in. And when I saw you step into the ring, I..."

Jazenny's grip on my hands had been getting looser over the last couple of minutes. But then it suddenly tightened.

I continued, "Well, I just felt like... I don't know. It came back. It all came back. Everything that we... everything that we had. And then when she knocked you out, it was... it was just..."

I could feel the tears coming to my eye.

She pulled me into a tight embrace.

"I'm so sorry," I sobbed into her shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Jazenny. I... I fucked it all up. I was... I..."

"It's okay," she whispered.

"I... I didn't want to talk to you the first day because, like, I didn't want to overreact and say something stupid. And then the second day it was too late. And the third day, I was like, 'Well, if it was too late yesterday, it's definitely too late now.' And then Amy aksed me about you, and I told her, and she was like, 'Wait, you've been married too,' and I was like, 'Oh, fuck me.' And by then, it was just like, what would I say? What could I possibly say to you that would make up for this?"

"It's okay," she whispered again. "It's okay."

"It's not okay," I replied. I lifted myself up from her shoulder and looked into her eyes. "Look, I guess all I can do is aks for your forgiveness. Beg for your forgiveness. I don't know if you'll give it, and, well, if you don't, I guess I'll understand."

She nodded. But she didn't say anything.

"But I'm willing to try," I went on. "I want to try to earn back your trust."

She nodded again.

"It doesn't matter how long it takes," I added.

She nodded again.

"I... I was being stubborn. Way too stubborn. And Jazenny, I want you to know that that's going to change. I'm going to change. I'm going to treat you with the respect you deserve. I'm going to be honest with you, and I'm going to listen to you, and I'm going to respect how you feel, and I'm going to... I guess... I'm going to treat you right. That's what I'm going to do."

"Look..." she said, "you really hurt me. I mean, I left you twenty six voicemails and fourteen vidmails."

"Twenty eight," I said.

"Twenty six," she insisted. "I kept a list."

"It was twenty eight."

"What?" she aksed, giving me a puzzled look. "It was twenty six. I know it was twenty six. I've got a list of each one of them."

I lifted up the thing I always wore on my wrist and pressed a couple of buttons.

"You have forty two messages," it said.

"Forty two?" Jazenny aksed me.

"Yeah," I said. "Fourteen vidmails plus twenty eight voicemails."

"But who are the other two from?... Whom, I mean."

"They're all from you," I told her.

"They can't be. Unless... oh shit," she gasped. "Another time skip?! You said you fixed them! What happened –"

"I don't think that's it," I said. "There were two that were, like, really late, and..."

I scrolled down the list and found one from two weeks ago Sunday at 02:44. I pressed a button.

Beep.

"Pick up your wrist, you fucking whore. Or are you too good for me now? Yeah, you're so much better than I am, Leela. You don't even have any time for us two eyed... what do you call... those people that... peons. I mean, did you ever care about me? Did I ever mean shit to you? No, you just used me for yourself and then threw me away like a... like a... an old pair of pants that doesn't fit any more, or something, and they don't make that style any more and nobody can find the fabric to extend the legs, or... or the button fell off and you can't find one that goes with that pair and so you just throw them out even though they're perfectly good pants and they totally love you and they have so much to offer you and they would never do anything to hurt you, but you don't give a fuck because they're just a pair of pants to you and you just go around fucking them whenever you please and then you suddenly just stop wearing them and you don't talk to them and you don't give a shit what they feel and you don't even answer when they call and... and... just... fuck you! Fuck you, you stuck up little... pussy princess! If I ever see you again, I will tear your throat out and give you such a pussy punch! I will knock your pussy out! I will drop your sorry little pussy in the first round, and you'll be sitting there crying like a little girl with a TKOed pussy, and you'll have no idea what hit you! And then I'll... go home and... have lunch, or something. Without you! Because... fuck you!"

Beep.

I watched Jazenny as she listened to the voicemail. Her expression went from mild surprise at the recognition of her voice, to wide eyed shock at the tone of her voice, to disgusted horror at the content of her voice.

Before the voicemail was even halfway through, she had slumped forward and hung her head, with two hands covering her face and two hands on the back of her head.

"And that was the nice one," I said. "In the other one, you threatened to do things to me that aren't even anatomically feasible. Well, maybe for the Lingragi people of Abi Glavamel Three. The kind of flexibility they have..."

"Fuck," she muttered. "Fuck, fuck. I drunk dialled you."

"It's all right."

"I can't believe I drunk dialled you," she moaned. She lifted her face just a little and pulled a hand out of the way so that she could look up at me. "I can't believe I said all that to you."

"It's all right," I repeated.

"'TKOed pussy'? What the fuck does that even mean? I... I totally didn't mean any of that."

"It's okay, though," I said. "You were right."

"No, I wasn't."

"You were," I insisted. "I just... I just... I did. I did throw you away. And I didn't even want to hear you out. I didn't answer you. I didn't answer your 42 messages. And I lost count how many texts and E-mails."

"And a couple of robopigeons," she added.

"And a couple of robopigeons. And I didn't call you back once." I looked away and started to say, "I'm really –"

"Hold it," she said. She sat up and put her hands on my arms. "Hold it right there. Don't say you're sorry."

"But... I am."

"But you don't need to be. I mean, I... shit. And I just slapped you too."

I said, "Well, you were right to –"

"No," she responded, right away. "No. You should be slapping me. I hurt you way more than you hurt me."

"That's not true," I told her. "It didn't hurt much."

"Not the slap," she whispered. "Not that. I... I cheated on you. I saw the way you reacted when I was talking to Annie today. I know I hurt you. And that voicemail. That... that... I... I'm sorry. I'm completely... totally sorry."

"That's all right," I answered. "I forgive you."

Jazenny pulled her hands away from mine and let them rest in her lap. She looked down at the floor for a moment.

After a fairly significant pause, she finally said, "That's not... that's not all."

"What? What do you mean?"

"You know. There's also the thing with... the wedding."

"The wedding?" I aksed. "What about it?"

"Look, I... I pushed you into it. I know I did. When you... when we split up, I was just sitting there at home, day and night, just thinking about what I did. You know? I was just thinking about everything that happened between us. Trying to figure out what it was that pushed you away. And I kept coming back to one conclusion. Well, besides the fact that I was being totally needy calling you all the time."

"I didn't think you were needy," I said. "I thought it was sweet that you still cared about me."

Jazenny sighed and went on, "Look, that's... that's really nice and all, but, well, somehow I don't think that's what you really thought."

"I... what's that supposed to mean? I'm being totally honest with you, Jazenny."

There was a pause.

"Shit. I – I'm sorry, Leela," she said. "That's totally not what I meant. I was just saying, I don't see how you could have seen it as... you know... not needy at all. And I kept thinking that it was, and I kept saying to myself, 'Okay, last time. Give her some space.' But then I would just pick up my wrist and call you again. Like a... like a needy little bitch."

I wasn't sure if I should say what I was thinking of. Eventually I decided to chance it.

"Well, maybe it's good to be needed," I said.

She met my gaze. The bright blue of her eyes glittered as she ventured a small smile.

Finally she said, "Well, anyway. Yeah, there was one thing I kept thinking about. One reason you could have had for..."

She trailed off into silence.

"What?" I aksed her.

"I pushed you. I pushed you into something we weren't ready for."

I answered back, "Who says I wasn't ready for it?"

She looked up at me again and replied, "Look, Leela. I know you wouldn't admit it, because you're always so brave, and fierce, and... and you can't back down from anything. And I totally love that about you. But... you have to admit that this was just way too fast. I mean, we haven't known each other for half a year."

"But you said you were sure."

She sighed. "I know. And I still am."

"Wait, hold it," I said. "What are you sure of?"

"That you're the one for me. That you're the one I want to marry."

I stammered, "Wait, I... I don't... what?"

Jazenny added, "And that's why it's too fast. I feel sure about this. But I've been married before. And I must have felt the same way about her. So... you know... something must have happened there. I don't know what. I may never know what.

"But the fact is, sometime during the time skip, we got engaged, and then married. But then by the end of the time skip, there was nothing between us. Literally, like, nothing at all.

"And so that's one of the things I was thinking of then. What if..."

I could see her lower lip trembling.

"What if we just wake up one day and... and we're not in love with each other?" she said, with tears forming. "Or... or what if it's just one of us? What if I don't feel anything for you, but you're still totally into me? What do... what do we do then?"

"Jazenny, look," I said, taking hold of as many of her arms as I could.

I was going to say something else to her, but instead, my eye just fixed itself on her ring.

The day after we got engaged, we went shopping and bought a pair of matching rings with our tax rebates. They were costume jewelry – they weren't real silver, and they didn't have diamonds, or any kind of stones – but I was as excited about it, I think, as I would have been about a real one.

Hers was still on her finger, right where I had put it that day.

"Looking at the ring?" she aksed. "Yeah, I couldn't..."

She trailed off, eventually looking away and shaking her head.

In response, I took off the thing I always wore on my wrist. I showed her my mother's bracelet underneath that.

The ring was right there on the chain. I had threaded the chain through the ring before I fastened it.

Then I lifted up the underside of my wrist. The indentations of the thing I always wore on my wrist and the bracelet were plain. But there were also ring shaped marks along the bracelet marks.

"I've been wearing mine like that," I told her. "Every day, for these last three weeks."

Jazenny looked at my wrist, and then up at me.

"Wait... wait. Then why...?" she started to aks.

"Why what?"

"Well, I called you so many... so many times. And you never answered. Not once. So... I mean... was it really that easy to forget about me? To hit ignore every single time? To just... you know... turn your back on me? On us?"

I put the thing I always wore on my wrist into my lap. I held onto my knee with one hand.

I took a deep breath.

"No," I said. "It wasn't. It was... it was so difficult. Jazenny, it was so difficult. I mean, I loved it. Being with you. I loved every minute with you. And every time you called, it just... I don't know... it reminded me of that. It reminded me of the fact that I did love every minute with you. And there were a few times when I just about picked up."

Jazenny was staring at me with an uncomprehending look.

"I know," I said. "Why couldn't I call you. If that was true – and it was – why couldn't I pick up. Why couldn't I call you. And I tried to avoid thinking about that. I mean, whenever I think about what I did to you... it just makes me feel like shit."

She replied, "All right. Well, can I –"

At the same time, I continued, "I was just –"

Then we both stopped.

"Go ahead," she said.

"No, you," I answered.

"No way," she said. "You go."

I said, "Well, I was just going to say, I just kinda... I was thinking about our future."

"Our future?" she aksed. "What about it?"

"I kinda started to think about... you know... where we would be in five years. Or ten. Or twenty."

"And?" Jazenny said.

I responded, "I thought about that all night. The night you left."

"The night I left?" she aksed, sounding outraged. "You kicked me out!"

"I didn't kick you out," I said.

"Of course you did," she snapped. "That's exactly what you did."

"You know what?" I sighed, turning away. "Just forget it."

"No, no, wait," she blurted out, reaching across the couch toward me. "I'm sorry, Leela. Go on. Please."

I closed my eye and breathed in again.

I faced her again and went on, "All right. Well... I want to have children. I've always wanted to."

"You do?" she aksed. "That's... that's great! That's terrific! So have I! Leela, that's... that's not a problem."

Hesitantly, I replied, "It... it kind of is."

"No, it's not."

"It is."

"Trust me, it's not." Jazenny grabbed my hands and pulled me just a little closer to her. "Listen. You and I may be mutants, but... we can have kids. We're totally compatible."

"What?" I started to say. "But that's –"

She interrupted me. "There's something I gotta tell you. I... I kinda sent some samples to a guy I know at Georgetown."

"Samples?" I aksed her.

"It was totally anomal... anona... anonymous. He had no idea what they were."

"What were they?"

"Us. Samples of your genes, and mine."

"What kind of samples?" I aksed. "Where'd you get them?"

She said, "Um... well... urine."

"Urine? How did you get a urine sample from... oh."

"What?"

"That's why you had me drink all that Slurm and then took me to that space station with all those suction pumps."

"No, that was... um... something else. No, you remember the things we strapped ourselves into at Binary Gardens? With the built in catheters?"

"Oh. So that's why we went there?"

"No," she sighed. "No. Leela, we went there because I love you, and because I thought we would have a great time there."

"We did have a great time there," I answered, softly.

"Yes. Of course we did." She gave her neck a nervous rub as she added, "I just... also grabbed some of your urine while we were there."

"Oh," I said. "I... so why did we go to the suction station, then?"

She said, "That was kinda for me. I wanted to... well, you see, I..."

Her hands started to fidget. "I'm kinda into... like, sometimes, just sometimes, I like it when I can watch a girl... um... Look, just forget it. We're compatible, that's what matters. The guy tested our samples – only he had no idea whose they were – and he said that we're compatible. We can have kids together."

I responded, "Well, of course we can have kids. We can adopt, or we can find a sperm donor."

"Yeah, but they'd have to put DNA from one of us into the sperm."

"Sperm come with their own DNA."

"No, but we'd put our DNA in there. Then the kid would be ours. Like, really ours. With genes from both of us."

I said, "That's not how sperm donation works. Is it?"

"Well, they could do it the old way, yeah," Jazenny answered. "With the sperm's original chromosomes. But they've been able to replace them for a long time. We don't have to do it the way single women do when they're ageing, lonely, desperate, and so deathly aware of the ticking of their biological clock that they inject themselves with sperm selected out of a catalogue sortable by IQ."

"You can sort them by eye colour too. Or... that's what I hear."

"Anyway, yeah, the guy said these two people – he didn't know it was us, of course – he said we could have a kid together if the zygote came from gametes with our chromosomes."

Still holding on to my hands, she put her other hands on my shoulders and added, "Leela, we can have kids together."

She stared into my eye for a moment.

She said, "Aren't you... aren't you excited about that?"

I sighed. "Yeah. Of course. I... it's just... that wasn't my concern."

"Then... then what?" she aksed.

"Well... it's just... our children wouldn't have a father."

"So? I grew up without a father. So did you."

"That's just it, though," I said. "I... well, when I was living at the orphanarium, I promised myself that if I had children, it would be a real family. You know. With a... with a father."

"So... wait. You and I wouldn't count as a real family?"

"No, I... that's not what I meant. It's just... kids need a father and a mother."

"Says who?" Jazenny retorted. "I know plenty of people who grew up with two moms. Or with two dads. Or with a mom who later became a dad."

"I know," I said.

"Leela... I mean, I agree that we'd want to have kids only if we can have a good environment for them. But kids need two parents. It doesn't matter what kind of parents. Just as long as there's two of them. That's what all the studies say. I had one parent when I was growing up. And... and you had zero. Are you really saying you wouldn't have rather been raised by two women who loved each other – and who loved you?"

"I know," I said again. "It's just... I'm just telling you what I thought at the time."

"What?" Jazenny aksed, looking perplexed again. "At the time?"

"Yeah," I said. "You're totally right, though. I think we would be great mothers. It's just... well, I told you. By the time I realised I was wrong, it was... it was way too late to talk to you."

"It's... it's never too late to talk."

I watched a tear roll down her cheek.

"I... I know," I told her. "I know now. I'm just telling you what I thought at the time. And at the time, I was... I was afraid to get in touch with you. And I... I said I fucked up. I said I was sorry."

"So that's why you didn't answer?" she aksed.

"Yeah. And..."

"What?"

"Well, I... I thought that I was... I didn't think I could give you what you needed."

"What I needed? I don't... I don't know what you're talking about."

I said, "You know. The way we were... we slept together all the time."

"I thought you liked that," Jazenny replied.

"I did. I did, Jazenny. It was..."

I closed my eye and drew in a breath.

"It was incredible," I continued. "It just wore me out, that's all."

"Oh."

"So I guess I just, you know, thought that I should let you go find someone who... who could give you that. Who could give you what you needed."

"Why would I want to go find someone else?" Jazenny aksed. She tightened her grip on my hands and added, "Sweetheart, I already had you."

"Well, I thought that maybe you were looking for more. I... I thought that maybe I wasn't enough for you."

"Leela... Leela," she said. "You remember our first date?"

"The art museum?" I aksed. "Look, anybody could have made that mistake. Who can tell the difference between a Rembrandt and a Banksy, anyway? They're both classical painters that nobody remembers any more."

Jazenny was holding up a hand. "No, no. Our first date. Remember? Kayleigh's?"

"That wasn't a date," I said. "That was where we met."

"No, we met in my dressing room at Cheney's Palace. Then we went to Kayleigh's after that."

"Exactly," I responded. "It was the same night we met."

"Yes. And we had our first date that night that we met."

"No, we just happened to run into each other again the same night. And then I went to your fight in Ireland the next weekend. And then we went to the art museum the day after that. That was our first date."

"Fine," she said. "Whatever. Remember when we were at Kayleigh's that one time when we were at Kayleigh's that may or may not have been our first date? Remember what I told you?"

I thought about it a moment and said, "You told me a lot of things."

"We did tell each other a lot of things that night," she agreed. "But the one I'm thinking of... well, I kinda told you, 'Leela, you're more than enough woman for me'."

I gazed into her eyes.

"Do you remember that?" she aksed me.

"Yeah," I said. "I do."

"Well, it's still true."

She pulled me into another hug.

"Leela," she whispered into my ear, "you don't ever have to worry about not being enough for me."

"I thought I... I thought I wouldn't be able to satisfy you," I whispered back. "That's why I sent you away."

She pulled out of the hug but still held me close to her, two of her hands on my shoulders and the other two on the back of my head.

"Then..." she started to say.

"What?" I aksed her.

"Then... look, I guess I can understand if that's what you thought. But... you know... you never said so. You could have just told me. You could have just told me what you thought."

"I know. I'm... I'm sorry, Jazenny."

"It's okay. It's my fault too. I mean, I could have told you what I thought too."

"Yeah, I guess so," I answered. "I guess... I guess we still have some work to do, as far as our communication skills."

"Yeah."

I closed my eye and just breathed in her scent for a moment.

She still had some fight smell left on her.

It suddenly hit me how much I missed that smell.

After a brief quietness, Jazenny said to me, "Well, I guess that makes more sense than my hypothesis."

"What?" I aksed.

She released me but took my hands again.

"Nothing," she responded. "I just... I had a little hypothesis about why you... why you didn't want to see me again."

"You did?"

"Yeah. It's... it's stupid."

"Why?" I aksed. "What was it?"

"You sure you want to know?"

"Sure."

"All right. I hypothesised that you were still in denial about being in love with a girl."

"What?" I aksed.

"Told you it was stupid."

"No, no. It's not stupid. I was just surprised."

"It was stupid. Leela... I thought you were in denial. I thought you still thought you were straight."

"I am straight."

"Wait, what? So... you mean I was right?"

"What?" I aksed yet again.

"Look. Remember when I met Fry?" she aksed.

"Of course I do," I responded. "You gave him a bloody nose. How's your snout, by the way?"

"Pretty good," she said. "I mean, I can't really breathe through it yet. And, like, all this crying isn't helping."

"Sorry," I said. "Should we take the cotton out?"

"I don't think so. Not yet. Unless the cotton's, like, all saturated with blood."

"No, it looks like it's still good."

"Good," she said. "Yeah, so while you were in the bathroom, I was talking to Fry a little. He said that you'd told him that you're not gay."

"Yeah?"

"Well, Amy said you'd told her the same thing."

"Well, I'm not."

"Are you in love with me, Leela?"

"Yes. Definitely. I am, Jazenny. I am in love with you."

"Okay. But... you still think you're not gay?"

"It's just..." I started to say.

She aksed, "What?"

"I... well... I'm not attracted to any other girls."

"Oh. You're not?"

"No."

"At all?"

"No."

"So... just me?"

"Yeah."

She leaned back a bit and said, "Wow."

"Yeah," I said. "I don't know what it is. But I'm in love with you. And I'm attracted to you. And... I've never felt either of those things for another girl."

"Oh," she answered. "So... is it really all that different? From being with a guy, I mean?"

"It's way different."

"Like how? What would be an example of something that's different?"

"I don't know. I guess... the way you listen to me. Like, if I tell you I like something, you do it more often, and if I hate something, you try not to do it."

"Like that thing I did with my fingernails on your thigh."

"Well, yeah," I responded. "But I mean... in general. Like the training. I know you're busy, and I'm busy. But... well... I know you always make time for us to train together. And you don't need to do that."

She answered, "Sure I do. I want to be a good boxer. And you're helping me do that."

"I know. But... I think you've tried harder to make time. You know... ever since I told you I liked it."

"Well, of course," Jazenny told me. "Why wouldn't I? You like it, and I like it."

I shrugged my shoulders. "I'm just not used to it, I guess."

"Used to what? People listening to you?"

"Not the guys I've gone out with, no."

"So do they just, like, stare into space when you're talking? Or what?"

"Either that, or they seem to listen, but then they just keep doing what they want, and they don't seem to care what I said."

Jazenny stared at me. After a moment, she tilted her head a little to the side.

"What?" I aksed her.

"It kinda sounds like you've gone out with some real assholes," she said.

I looked away.

"I'm sorry," she murmured. "None of my business."

"No, you're right," I said. "I... I have."

"But it's not just because they're guys, right?" she aksed me. "I mean, there must be guys who listen... who care... who treat you with respect."

I started to think that maybe there was one guy.

But then I realised that kind of guy wouldn't go out with a robot version of an actress from a thousand years ago.

I started to say, "It's just..."

"What?"

I sighed. "Forget it."

"That's... that's actually a good idea," Jazenny said.

"What?" I aksed. "What is?"

"Forget it. Just, you know, forget about all this. All of the things that we... that we fucked up. Let's just forget about it and go back to..."

She looked away.

"Back to what?" I aksed.

She stared at the floor for a while. Then she suddenly looked up and, with a cheery grin, held out one of her hands.

"Hi! I'm Jazenny. So nice to meet you!"

I took her hand and let an amused smile cross my lips.

"I don't think we need to go back that far," I replied.

"Sorry," she said. "It's just... I... I'm not willing to lose you."

"I don't want to lose you either."

She added, "No, but it's different for me. Because I... I mean... that is... you're different."

"I know I'm different," I said, adding on a heavy sigh.

"No. No. That's not what I mean," Jazenny said, getting more insistent.

"Oh," I said.

"I mean, you're different to me. You... you mean something different to me."

"Oh," I said again.

"Because you..."

"I what?"

She closed her eyes and let out a breath. "I don't... I don't think I can explain it."

"Can you try?" I aksed her.

Her eyes opened again. "What?"

"Can you try to explain it?"

"Yeah. It's just... it's just that..."

Her gaze fell away again, and then she said, in a voice that was more of a whisper, "You were my first."

"Wait," I said. "I was what?"

"You were my first, all right?" She pulled her hands away and wrapped her arms around herself. "So that's why I... why I was like that with you."

"Like what?"

"You know."

"No, I... I don't. I mean... wait. I was your first? What about Milinda? You mean you two never... never slept together?"

"No, no, no. We did. We did that."

"Then... then what?"

She was silent for a minute or two. Then she looked up at me again.

"Leela," she finally said, "you were the first person I was ever in love with. Actually... you're the only person I've ever been in love with."

I stared at Jazenny.

Now staring at my hands, she went on, "I know. I know. What about Milinda. Well... see... look, we had a good time together, Milinda and me. We had fun. But... I was never in love with her. I never felt anything like that with her."

I stared at Jazenny some more.

"But then how did we get married," she aksed. Without waiting for a response, she continued, "I don't know. I don't know that. It was all during the time skips. So... maybe I did love her. Maybe I was in love with her. It's just... I don't know. I don't remember it."

"So I might not be your first," I pointed out.

"You're the first one that I remember," she answered. "So, well, for all practical purposes, that means you are my first, Leela."

I didn't know what to say to that.

It turned out that I didn't have to know, because Jazenny said something instead.

"Look, Leela," she said, "I know I've done some stupid things. I'm still young. I'm still figuring all this out."

"All what out?"

"I dunno. How to, like, be a grownup and shit. You have your shit together, but I'm, well, I'm just getting there. I'm, like, nine years younger than you."

"Five," I said.

"No, nine," she responded. "You're forgetting the time skip."

"No I'm not. Time still passed. You still got older. The time skips don't stop you from ageing."

"I know, but they, like, basically erased four years of my memory. So... as far as, like, what I know, and what I've experienced... I'm nineteen. I'm only nineteen."

"Nineteen?" I aksed. "You... you don't act like it."

"I know. Some people have said I'm, like, mature and everything. I mean, I don't feel it sometimes. But yeah. Wise beyond my years, somebody said."

"Who said that?"

"That was... um... that was Milinda."

"Oh," I replied.

We were both quiet for a moment or two.

Jazenny started to say, "So, yeah, I'm –"

"Wait," I said. "I've gotten you alcohol."

She giggled a little. "Well, don't worry about that. Legally, I'm still 23. It's still been 23 years after I was born."

"You just don't remember four of those years."

"Exactly."

"Simple."

"Obviously."

"It's easy."

"Yeah," she replied. "So... you know... insisting that you not come to the tournament. That would be an example of a stupid thing that I've done to you."

"That's not stupid. That's not stupid at all. Jazenny, there's nothing stupid about honouring your mother."

"What about refusing to talk to your mother?"

I looked up at her, surprised.

She looked away. "I'm... I'm sorry, Leela. That would be another stupid thing."

"No, it's okay," I said.

"Look, I admit it. I know I've done some things that have pissed you off. Like... I know I sleep in a lot, and you always want to get up early."

I answered, "That doesn't piss me off. You look so cute when you're curled up in my lap. But sometimes I have to wake you up. That's got to piss you off."

"It doesn't," she replied. "But you've got to be pissed off at all the hair that I leave in your sink. It's just, well, my hair grows fast, and I have to trim it a lot to keep it looking like this."

"I don't care about that. What about that thing I do where I twist my ponytail? Aren't you sick of watching me do that?"

"I think it's adorable. What about the way I snort when I laugh?"

"What about the way I snore in my sleep?"

"What about how I keep opening up my stance? You've told me a bazillion times not to, and I still keep doing it!"

"What about how I always correct your grammar?"

"Well, what about how I always keep using bad grammar?"

"Well, I'm always so insistent on punctuality."

"Well, I'm always making us late."

"Well, what about the way I watch blernsball games? I'm always shouting at the players! They're, like, a thousand parsecs away! They can't hear me!"

"What about the stupid questions I aks you between rounds? 'Am I getting to her'? What the fuck does that even mean?"

"What about the stupid advice I give you between rounds? 'Hang in there'? That's not even advice! That's just a sequence of words!"

"Well, I make those stupid-ass sounds when I throw a punch! I sound like a tennis player!"

"Well, what about those noises I make when I kick? I sound like Miss Piggy!"

"Hey, Fallopian Fight Club! You two gay grapplers want to keep it down? Some of us are trying to sleep!"

That last voice had belonged to neither me nor Jazenny. It was far too annoying.

We turned toward the door to the hallway, where Cubert was leaning. Various portions of his hair made ridiculous angles with one another.

I got up off the couch and advanced toward him, Jazenny trailing right behind.

"Actually, Cubert, Jazenny is a boxer. Grappler means wrestler," I told him. "Get your facts straight."

"What would you know about straight things?" he retorted, adding a snort at his meagre attempt at a joke.

"He's not listening," I said to Jazenny. "Maybe he needs a demonstration."

With every deliberate step I took toward Cubert, his eyes widened. He began to back away.

Jazenny seemed to notice. To me, she replied, "Maybe he does. I'll demonstrate boxing, you demonstrate wrestling?"

"Good idea," I said. "By the way, Cubert, nice jammies."

We continued to take slow steps toward him. I cracked my knuckles, one by one, as Jazenny pounded her fists. I gave him the most menacing glare I could, and I could feel Jazenny doing the same next to me.

The fear in Cubert's eyes grew exponentially. By the time we stepped through the doorway, he had backed into the wall on the opposite side of the hallway. Then he tried to slide along the wall away from us. But the brick surface caught on his pajamas – clearly he underestimated the amount of friction the wall would provide. He fell on his ass, backed away a bit, and then turned and ran for the stairs.

I watched him go, and then I held out my hand toward Jazenny. She took it, lacing her fingers between mine.

"So he actually sleeps here?" Jazenny aksed me.

"Yeah. He and the Professor."

"Isn't this a place of business?"

"Well, yeah. But the Professor owns the business."

Jazenny nodded.

"C'mon," I said to her. "Let me show you something."

I went over to the couch, picked up the thing I always wore on my wrist, and clamped it on, hiding my bracelet and the ring again. Then I led her, carefully, through the darkened building. We eased up the stairs that Cubert had just dashed up, but then we kept going beyond the floor where his room was located. We went all the way up to the tower, and then out onto the widow's walk.

I sat on the floor and let my legs dangle over the edge.

"Come on," I said again. "Down here."

She sat down next to me and took hold of the railing in all of her hands.

We were sitting toward the south side, so that we could see some of the buildings near Times Square. The hangar was down below us and to our right.

"Hey, Leela. Can I aks you something?"

"Sure," I answered. "Of course."

"Can you... can you tell me about the Stupid Ages?"

"Um... sure. Anything in particular...?"

"Well, like, what would it have been like for... for us? For you and me?"

"A couple of mutants with unusual eye and arm counts? Difficult."

"No, no. A couple of girls."

"I... I'm not sure what you mean."

"Well... I was kinda talking with Fry," she said. "He said that, like, he's cool with girls going out, but that a lot of people in his time weren't. So, well, I was kinda wondering if you knew anything about that. Because you've studied ancient history, right?"

"Yeah, of course. I had to for my old job. I mean, if I was going to help defrostees adjust, I had to know what they were adjusting from."

"Yeah. So... say we had been, like, normal girls. How would... how would people of the 20th century have treated us?"

I thought about it a moment.

"Well... first off, we don't really know much about that era," I said. "Most of the movies from back then have been lost. All we have are p-books."

"What books?"

"You know e-books?"

"Yeah?"

"It's like an e-book, but on paper."

"Paper? You can put a turn page button on a sheet of paper?"

"No. You have to turn the page yourself. They would print different text on, like, five hundred different pages. Then they'd bind them up in the right order, so that when you were done with one page, you could lift it up and move it over to the other side, and then read the next page."

Jazenny stared at me, her puzzled face occasionally lit by the headlights of passing hovercars.

"Wait, wait," she said. "Is that, like, those things you have on your shelf? The ones about animals who have overcome the greatest adversity to become political satirists?"

"Yeah. We don't have a whole lot of books that have survived that long, but there are some."

"So what do they say about... you know... lesbians?"

I told her what I knew.

It wasn't much. Most of what survived from that time was actually erotic literature written by men that didn't really seem to describe the characters in any level of detail beyond their hair colours, which were always blonde and brunette, unless they had a redheaded friend who was either geeky or spunky. A certain portion of the stories also seemed to include unexplained growth in the breasts of at least one character, resulting in the other one losing the ability to hide her till-now silent love for the victim.

As for more serious items like newspapers and magazines, mentions of lesbians were rare. The articles seemed to suggest that they were only allowed in a few occupations: women's rights attorneys, professional athletes, physical education teachers, and the occasional daytime talk show.

"Were there really so few of them?" Jazenny aksed me.

"I don't think so. I kinda feel like there had to be more, but people just kind of... they wanted to pretend that they didn't exist."

"Marginalised," she suggested.

"Marginalised, right," I replied.

"Out of sight, out of mind," she added, more to herself than to me. "Like the mutants."

"Maybe."

"People talking shit about them, deriding them as perverted and disgusting, accusing them of destroying traditional family values, when in fact they're proud members of the community. Proud and caring people, who put their lives at risk every day doing an important service, who face the threat of discovery, of isolation, of exile from the community that they've sacrificed their inner peace for. They've sacrificed their ability to talk openly, to share their lives with others. Forced to sneak under the noses of their own community, just to spend time with the people they love. Living dual lives, knowing that it could all be destroyed by a single word from a single person who's evil enough, or bitter enough, or maybe just stupid enough."

"I... I guess."

"Shit just never changes, does it?" she sighed.

Jazenny took off her leather jacket and put it on the floor behind us. One pair of her arms draped around my neck, and another pair embraced my waist. She leaned over and rested her head on my shoulder.

A bead or two of sweat dripped from her forehead onto the strap of my tank top. It was still obscenely hot in New New York.

I put an arm around her and pulled her a bit closer.

"So... is that..." she started to say.

"Is what?" I aksed.

"I'm just thinking," she responded. "Is that, like, why you didn't want me to touch you in public? At first, I mean?"

At first, I had been reluctant to let Jazenny do anything racy, like kiss me or grope my ass, in public. But before long, I realised that I didn't care what other people thought.

And some time after that, I realised that other people didn't care what we did.

Jazenny went on, "I mean, like, say we had done that back in the Stupid Ages."

"I think it would depend on where we did it."

"Oh," she said. "You mean like Texas?"

"Yeah," I answered. "I think it would have been hard to be gay there."

"Probably hard to be an alien there too."

"In the Stupid Ages? It would have been hard to be an alien anywhere."

"No, I mean now," she responded. "I think it's still hard to be an alien down there."

"Then why do you live there?"

She sighed, "I don't know. I... I do like it there. The gym is good. It's not as crowded. You know? San Antonio's pretty big, but it's not New New York. This city is... it's pretty fucking crowded."

"Yeah," I said. "That's true."

I leaned closer to her, letting my hand stroke her arm. It felt different.

"Someone's been working out," I said to her.

"Hm?" Jazenny murmured.

I gave her bicep a squeeze, and then her shoulder. I said, "You've added muscle."

"Have I?" she aksed me as she sat up and turned toward me. "I didn't think I have."

I reached for the next shoulder down. "I think you have."

"Well, I... I have been spending a lot of time in –"

"Are... are you crying?" I aksed.

The city lights had formed a glassy reflection off her eyes. For a moment, it made it hard for me to tell that she was suddenly looking away.

"It's nothing," she whispered.

"What?" I aksed her.

"Nothing," she insisted. "Forget it."

I didn't say anything in response. I just put my hands on her shoulders.

"I guess I... I missed this," she finally said.

"What?" I aksed. "Missed what?"

"This," she said after a bit of a hesitation. "You and me. Just... just you and me. Nothing else. No boxing. No missions. No city. No distractions. Just..."

I let her fall into my shoulder again, and this time I leaned in and let my head rest on top of hers.

Her breathing drowned out the urban soundtrack around us.

"Think we were too hard on him?" she suddenly aksed me.

"Who, Cubert?" I aksed. "What makes you say that?"

"Well, he's obviously being bullied at school."

"How did you know that?"

"Psh," she scoffed. Sitting up again, she went on, "I've seen it all the time. Bully makes the kid feel powerless. The kid acts out at others so he can feel powerful. Besides, dorky, snot nosed, whiny know it all? That's exactly the kind of kid that gets bullied."

"So you think we should have gone easy on him?"

"No. Kid needs to be taught a lesson every now and then. Not all the time, but yeah, your approach is good sometimes."

I nodded.

Jazenny said, with a touch of hesitation, "See? We... we would be good parents."

I turned to face her again.

I must have looked surprised once more. She drew back a little and added, "I just think, well, I would probably indulge them too much. You would be the strict one. You could discipline them when they need it."

"Maybe," I said. "Look, I don't know if kids need a father or not. I guess... I guess I agree with you. You know, with what you said about two parents who love each other. Which is why... which is why I feel so awful about the way I treated you. I turned you away. I ignored you. I –"

"Leela –" she started to say.

"Jazenny, let me finish," I insisted. "I ignored you. I ignored myself. I... I was basically neglecting myself. I was neglecting the way I feel about you. The way I love you. The way I care about you."

She looked like she still wanted to say something, but I guess there was something about the way I was looking over at her. She closed her mouth.

"So... believe me," I continued. "Seeing what I did to you... how much I hurt you... it makes me feel like shit. It makes me feel low enough to... to limbo under my parents' house."

"What?" she aksed.

I sighed. "The point is... babe, I never want to see you like that again. I never want us to fight again."

"Really?"

"Yes. Of course. I mean... we owe it to our... to our kids."

"Um... Leela... we haven't... we haven't actually had kids yet."

"Yeah. No, I know that. I'm just saying... if we do... if we stay together, I mean, if you're okay with... that is... if you and I..."

"Leela, Leela," Jazenny said. "I know what you mean. It's sweet. It's really sweet, believe me."

She slipped two arms around my waist.

"But we are going to," she added. "We are going to fight sometimes."

"What?"

She sighed. "Look, it's... there's no way around it. I'm a boxer. All I do is fight. And you... well, you're bossy and opinionated."

"Bossy and opinionated?" I snapped. "I think you're way off base, and I won't allow you to say that about me again!"

"See?" she said. "Told you."

I closed my eye and let myself calm down a bit. Then I continued, "Listen, sweetheart, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I got into a fight with you. I'm sorry I threw you out. I'm sorry I stopped talking to you." I let the intensity and passion seep into my voice as I went on, "I... I'm really sorry, all right? I'm never going to let that happen again. I'm never going to get into a fight with you again."

"Leela," she said, though it came out like a whisper. "You don't need to lie, Leela."

"What? I'm not lying. I'm not. I mean it. Never again, all right?"

"Leela, listen. Look at me. Look at me."

She rested her other hands on my cheeks and drew me even closer.

"Sweetheart, everyone fights. Everyone does."

"Not everyone," I responded. "Not my parents."

"Really?" Jazenny aksed. "Fry says your parents are getting divorced."

"What?" I aksed her. I pulled away from her embrace and rose to my feet. Then I started to pace up and down the walkway. "No. No way. They've been happily married for more than thirty years."

"Well, now they're getting divorced."

"What? That's not possible."

"It's true," Jazenny said. "Just aks Fry. He said your father disagreed with what your mother said. You know, about my... about Neptunians. Your father thought she should, like, take a chill pill or something. Do they even have those in the sewers?"

"Chill pills? Of course they do," I told her. "I flush mine down the toilet."

"Wait. You take chill pills?"

"My boss gives them to me. I have to pretend to take them, or else he'll make me take a rage dump. But I just flush them down the toilet instead. He still hasn't figured out... wait, who cares about that? My parents are really getting divorced?"

"Yeah. That's what Fry said. He called down there, and it was just your mother there. She said it was a trial separation. She said your father had gotten an apartment underneath Flushing."

"That's horrible," I said.

Jazenny said, "Actually, it's kinda funny when you think about it. 'Flushing'?"

"This is no time to laugh about absurdly appropriate names of New New York suburbs!" I cried. "My parents are getting divorced! And it's all my fault!"

"No it's not."

"Of course it is!"

"Leela, it's not." She grabbed hold of the rails and pulled herself up to a standing position.

"It's totally my fault! I ruined my parents' relationship! And now I've ruined ours too!"

"No. No, you didn't."

"I totally ruined our relationship!" I shrieked.

"We can fix it," she said. She stepped close to me and put a pair of arms around my shoulders. "It'll just take time."

"But you'll never give me another chance! You'll never forgive me for... for... for locking you out! I..."

I couldn't think of anything else to say. I just leaned forward and closed my eye.

Then I felt her hand on the back of my head. Something rested against my forehead. Her shoulder, I predicted.

"I didn't tell anyone," I whispered.

"Tell anyone what?" she aksed.

"About you," I explained. "About the Neptunians."

"Oh. Right," she said, pulling away a little. I opened my eye again, and when I looked up, I could see her nodding.

"Yeah, I... I knew you wouldn't," she continued. "And I didn't tell anyone about you."

"You'd never do that," I said. "I know I can trust you. I..."

I looked down at my hands. She had grasped on to them again.

"What?" Jazenny aksed me.

"What?" I aksed her.

She said, "Well, you were about to say something, but then you were kinda staring down at my hands, or something."

"Oh. Yeah, I was thinking about your hands."

"My hands?" She looked down at two of them, and then she released the other two from around my neck.

I said, "Well, I was kinda thinking about... well... I kinda thought that our hands are, like, a summary of us."

"I... I don't know what that means."

"Well, like, look at our hands," I began to explain. "They're so alike in some ways. Hard. Tough. Bruises on the knuckles. But so different, too. Your fingers are long. Slender. Graceful. Beautiful. Mine are all short and stubby."

"That's not what your fingers are like," she replied.

"They are."

"They're not," Jazenny insisted. She wrapped her hands around mine and began to stroke each finger, one by one.

"Leela, your fingers are... they're magic," she went on. "You have a magic touch. I mean... yeah, they're tough, and they have some bruises, but... you have such a gentle touch. So gentle and smooth. And not stubby. Not in any way. Don't know where you got that idea."

I said, "That's just, well, that's what I think whenever I look at yours." I held my hand up to hers and added, "See? Yours are so much longer."

"No, look," she said. "They're only a little bit longer. Less than an inch."

There was a brief pause.

Then she grasped my hands and continued, "Come on. You don't need to be so conscious of yourself. I want you to trust yourself. And trust me. Leela... trust me when I tell you that... that I'm in love with you. Not sure how you feel now. But I... I..."

I jumped in and told her, "I'm still in love with you."

She looked down at me, speechless.

I said, "I... I kept trying to tell myself I wasn't. But... well, when you stepped up into the ring today, I realised that it... it was the first time in weeks that I'd seen you. And I... I missed you. Sweetheart, I missed the fuck out of you. And I... look, I'm sorry about what I said. How I reacted today. It's just, I couldn't stand to see you with another girl. I was so pissed off. I was all set to fight her. I was just about ready to aks her, 'Why don't we settle this outside?' You know?"

"Are you serious?" Jazenny aksed me. "She outmasses you! She outmasses you, she out-arms you... and she out-depth perceptions you too! You would have to be insane to want to fight Annie!"

"Look, I... well, for one thing, I would totally have taken her down. Does she know kung fu?"

"No."

"So she can't fight with her feet. I can. See, I've got four weapons too. And besides that... listen. Sweetheart, I would fight for you. Of course I would. I would fight anyone for you. The biggest killbot off Mom's assembly line... the most power mad Omicronian... the most obnoxious robot trying to steal your body – well, I guess I already fought that one. The point is, I will fight for you. I will fight to defend your honour."

"Defend my honour?!" she aksed in disbelief.

She stared at me for a moment. I saw her eyes start to fill with tears again.

A pair of hands covered her mouth and her snout. Just before they did, I could see her lips forming a grateful smile.

Then she took my head in her hands and pulled me in tight to her shoulders.

"Of course I'll give you another chance," she whispered. "Of course I'll forgive you."

I stood up straight again. "What?" I aksed, suddenly full of hope. "Really?"

"Yeah," she answered. "Provided that..."

"Provided that what?"

"Do you forgive me?"

"Of course I do," I responded immediately.

"For everything?"

"Of course."

"For cheating on you?"

"That wasn't cheating. We were on a break."

"And for pushing you into marriage?"

"That wasn't pushing. I wanted it too."

"Good. Because... I mean, this is just one step. It's going to take a while before we're... you know... back to where we were."

"I know. I understand that."

"Good. And... you know... I'm going to keep wearing my ring. I... I mean, I'm not ready to, like, set a new date or anything like that."

There was a pause, and then she went on, "Look, Leela. I know we rushed into this. It's still too soon for us to get married. But... well... when I aksed you to marry me, I meant it. And I still do. I still feel like you're the one for me. I still feel like my heart belongs to you. I still want you to be my bride. If... if you still want to be my bride."

In response, I removed the thing I always wear on my wrist. I unfastened the bracelet and slipped the ring off. I handed it to her and held up my other hand.

She stared at the ring, for a time duration that seemed to be interminable. I couldn't read her expression.

Or maybe I just couldn't see it now that she was facing away from the city.

After a long pause, I finally bent down on my knee. Reaching for her hand with my right hand, I closed her fingers around the circumference of the ring and maneuvered it onto my finger.

She looked down at my finger, and then into my eye. And then down at my finger again.

"Omigod!" she shouted, suddenly breathing in and out. "I thought you... I thought you were giving back the ring!"

I looked up at her.

It took me a moment, but eventually I figured it out.

I responded, a little frantically, "Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no! Not like... no! I was just giving it back for you to... put it back on my finger! It wasn't –"

I couldn't finish the thought, as she had yanked me back to my feet and into a tight hug.

We clung to each other, full of giggles.

"I'm sorry, Jazenny," I said.

"It's okay," she answered.

"I'm sorry. I keep doing that to you. I keep doing things that are ambiguous."

"It's totally okay. Communication."

"Yeah," I responded.

Then she kissed me.

It was the first time in weeks.

But it felt like she had never been gone.

After a time duration that would have been too short no matter the actual length, we pulled away enough to look one another in the eye. I still had my arms around her waist, and she had hers around my shoulders and my waist.

I said, "There's something more you want, isn't there?"

"No," she said. "We said we'd work on our communication. And we've got plenty of time to do that."

"No, I mean, there's something you want me to do now. Right?"

She shrugged, "Well, I guess there's one thing."

"Of course. Anything."

"Can you... can you call me Jaze?"

I broke into a grin, not caring how ridiculous it would have looked on me. "Of course I can, Jaze. Will you call me Eel?"

"Wait," she said. "I thought you... I thought you didn't like it when I did that."

"What? What would make you think that?"

"Well, like, when I met Fry. After you patched up his nose, and we were ready to go down to meet your parents. I said, like, 'Lead the way, Eel,' and you didn't like it."

I said, "Well, it's just... you know... in front of people."

"So... you don't want me to say it in public?"

"Do you want to?" I aksed her.

"Do you want me to?" she aksed me.

"Well, I... I just didn't want everyone to know."

"Oh," she said. "Sorry."

"It's okay, Jaze."

She added, "So I can, like, not say it in public, if that's what you want."

"Actually," I replied, "I kinda missed 'Eel'."

"You did?"

"Yeah. Can I be Eel again?"

"Of course you can, Eel," she said.

Then we kissed again.

"I love you, Jaze," I said.

"I love you, Eel," she said.

I led her back inside. "Come on," I said. "Let's go home."

"That sounds great," she answered. "But first..."

"What?" I aksed.

"Well, do you... do you want some ice cream?" she said, more than a little sexfully.

"That's a good idea," I said. "Just not here."

"No," she laughed. "Definitely not here."

We made a stop at the grocery store, and then I took Jazenny and the ice cream back to my apartment.

---

The next morning, Fry and I were trying to learn Braille when he suddenly aksed me, "Hey, do you... um... do you like girls?"

I said, "What?"

"Well, I mean, there was Leela. And then you ran off with BW. And you were about to run off with it again. And then the ambassador. So, you know, I was wondering –"

I stopped him and responded, "Okay. First, fuck you. Second, only one of those three is actually a girl. Third, I didn't 'run off' with BW. Fourth, I just wanted to visit Stardust. And fifth... um... I don't have a fifth thing, so fuck you again."

"I was just asking, all right?"

I sighed. "Sorry. Anyway, I love you. And I'm really sorry I did that with the ambassador, and I really feel like shit about it, so can't we just forget about it?"

"Yeah," he said. "Yeah. Of course we can."

"Okay."

"It's just... you know, if you... that is, if there's something that you're not getting, then... you know... there are things we could..."

I started laughing.

"What?" he aksed.

"You want to have a three way!" I shouted.

"What?" he aksed again. "No! That's not it!"

"It's not?"

"No. I mean, we haven't even had a two way yet."

"And whose fault is that?" I demanded. "Not mine! I'm ready any time! You can just fucking have your way with me any time you want!"

"I'm being serious, Amy."

"Well, so am I. Fry, you can do anything to me. Anything you want. Any thing you want, any time you want, any place you want."

"Amy..."

"I'm serious! I don't care where we are, or who sees us, or who gets a video for Bender to blackmail us with fifty years from now. I love you. I love you!"

"Amy..."

"And I want you! I mean, I can feel you over here! You're working out! You're hot now! You're so fucking hot! And you know it! You can actually see yourself in the mirror! I know you don't want me!"

"Amy..."

"I know I'm still skinny! I'm just not eating much any more. That's just... I'm not like that any more. I don't have that foodlust. I just don't. Probably never will again. And no tanning. And none of that cutesy stickie-outie hair. So if you're waiting for me to get back to normal, guess what? This is the new normal! This is what I'm gonna look like the rest of my life!"

"Amy..."

"Pale, skinny, ordinary hair, sad half the time and angry the other half! That's me now! What the fuck do you want?"

He hesitated for a moment, but then he said, "Well, I was thinking about, you know, about what happened. And I was wondering if, like, you liked him because he had girl boobs. So then I thought, well, maybe you'd like it if I got some. And then I thought about you and Leela, and then I thought, well, maybe you'd like it if..."

"If what?" I aksed, knowing the answer already.

"If I... um... became a girl."

Even though I knew the answer, it took me a moment to react.

But eventually, I said, "Fry, listen." I traced my hands up his arms, and then up his neck, until I had them on either side of his face. "I love you. I love you. Not, like, some parallel universe female version of you. I love you, the way you are. So don't change."

"Don't change?" he aksed.

"Don't change," I repeated. "Ever. Not even a little."

"Can I get older?"

"Don't you dare," I said. "You're already older than I am."

"A lot older."

"A couple of years. That's not a lot."

"A thousand years isn't a lot?"

"Oh. Yeah. I keep forgetting about that."

"Well, I never forget about it. I mean, I never would have..."

"Met Leela. I know."

"Met you."

He kissed me, soft at first but gradually becoming more intimate and more passionate.

I started to take his shirt off, but he stopped me.

I sighed. "Still not time yet?"

"I'm sorry, Amy. I think I still need a little longer."

"Well, like I said. Any time you're ready, I am."

"I know."

We reclined on the couch.

I put my head on his chest.

But then I realised that even his breathing was acting as an aphrodisiac.

I thought, I'm really gonna have to do a number on myself in the shower tonight.