Hello, dearies!
Chilled Souls of the Forgotten: Haha :D I'm glad you're still liking this story and I appreciate each of your reviews :D To which music were you relating, then? :D
DwarvenWarrior: Thank you! I was really worried when I started to write this in English but I'm glad to hear that it's okay to read :D
Doodler100: Yeah, I guess everyone would be nervous in that situation. Especially if you only have a mass of blankets around yourself and nothing else :D
Borys68: There is an explanation for her being small, but it will take a while until you'll find out, I'm afraid :D
Beloved Daughter: Yes, there is definitely a lot to learn for her now but hopefully, she'll manage. She has some help in our dear Kili and the others after all :D
Thank you all so much for your numerous reviews! I read each and every one of them with pleasure and I'm really happy that you all are so into this story and find Tarya and Kili so adorable :D (I do, too :D)
And also thank you readers who followed and favorited this story! I appreciate it!
So, have a new chapter and enjoy!
Tarya said nothing for a moment; she simply huffed slightly to his request, looking quite defiant.
"You won't listen, will you?" he asked a little annoyed and Tarya just shook her head.
"Of course not," she simply said. Her sentences were still short; he supposed that was because she was still trying to get used to actually talk. But her voice was steady now and Kili already saw that she wouldn't give in. He sighed silently.
"And why is that?" he asked.
"It's a stupid wish of yours," she replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, looking down upon their joined hands for a moment, frowning.
"It is not a stupid wish, I merely want you to be safe. I had you almost die on me today and I couldn't do anything to help you. I don't want to see you hurt another time," Kili said sternly, slightly squeezing her hand. "Especially not because of me."
Tarya's gaze shot up and Kili was suddenly confronted with a fierce glare. "You said you were my friend," she said slowly and waited until Kili nodded before she continued. "I am yours, too. And for an Amarok – for me – this means that you are worthy of my trust, my care and my protection, be it with my own life, whether you want it or not."
Kili looked into her golden eyes and could see no sign of compliancy in them. There was just sternness and the seriousness of the words she spoke. That was her opinion and he would not be able to convince her otherwise, he knew. The young dwarf sighed silently and looked at her dissatisfiedly, whereupon she merely raised an eyebrow.
"Well, I see I can't convince you not to foolishly risk your life for me again," he said and Tarya nodded, apparently satisfied with the understanding, "but be sure that I will see to it that this won't be necessary and that no more harm comes to you."
She seemed a bit uneasy about his statement but she didn't say anything. Probably, she could see the same relentlessness in his eyes as he had seen in hers.
Kili felt it was rather nice to just talk to her like this, though, even if the topic was a bit too serious for his likings. But it made the whole affair a bit less awkward somehow. Certainly, it was still extremely strange but it was nice to be able to have a conversation with Tarya. He'd been able to more or less decipher what she had been meaning to tell him when she still had her wolf form but now was different.
Her hand felt soft and a bit cold in his and he couldn't help but take in the features of her face once more. He had not been lying when he had said that she was stunning. She was no dwarf but she was truly beautiful, he thought. Her black hair fell over her shoulders in small waves and the unusual gold of her eyes stood in a strange harmony to her bronzy skin.
Her features were rather soft; her nose was small and her lips full.
There was a little awkward silence then when none of them knew what to say to the other. Tarya looked at him hesitantly and opened her mouth as if to say something but just as she was about to utter her words, the door was opened once again and Fili entered followed by the hobbit, who had a bunch of clothes piled up in his arms. Bilbo couldn't even see where he was going so high was the pile. He had to rely on Fili in order not to walk into something.
"We didn't know what would fit, so we brought a little selection," the blonde dwarf said smiling, coming to stand next to Kili. He looked down on the both of them, noticing their joined hands but deciding not to mention it. For now. "It would help if you got up, otherwise we can't… you know." Fili waved his hands vaguely in Bilbo's direction.
Tarya hesitated a moment while the hobbit placed the clothes on the bed. Kili released her hand and got up himself and after another moment, Tarya gripped the sheets around her a bit tighter before she followed his example. It took her a moment before she was shakily standing on her feet and now they could see that she was indeed quite small, in fact, she was only a tad taller than Bilbo.
But they could only take in her full height for a mere second before her eyes widened and she keeled over. Kili was quick enough to catch her before she hit the ground painfully. He brought her back up and steadied her with an arm around her waist while Fili chuckled at her baffled expression.
Tarya glared at the blonde dwarf then. "It's not easy," she said defiantly, maybe a bit embarrassed, and Fili was surprised that she now spoke so clearly whereas before she had barely been able to mutter his brother's name. Obviously, they had made some progress already. She seemed more confident now.
"What is?" Bilbo interfered, not quite understanding what she meant. He had been too absorbed in observing her.
"Only having two legs," Tarya replied with a slight frown while she was concentrating to keep her balance. Kili was still helping her and as it seemed, she really needed his support as to not topple over again.
"You'll certainly get used to it," Bilbo stammered and Tarya sighed. She was obviously not very happy with this prospect.
Kili slowly guided Tarya towards the bed so that she could sit there. She immediately reached out to the pile of clothes and examined what Fili and Bilbo had gathered. The trio then watched the Amarok hold out a dark blue gown in front of her. Alatáriël had given it to them after they had told her what had happened. Well, Bilbo had told her. Fili hadn't been very keen on letting the elf in on Tarya's transformation. But the healer hadn't said much and simply given them some dresses to try out.
They were a bit bewildered when Tarya sniffed at the dress, wrinkled her nose and then carelessly threw it on the floor. "I guess that's the wolf in her," Kili suggested quietly and the other two simply nodded. She proceeded with this method until she had a dark green tunic lying in front of her that had formerly belonged to Kili - his brother had taken it out of his backpack - and a pair of brown trousers that Bilbo had kindly offered, next to some undergarments.
When she'd finished her process of elimination, she looked up expectantly. Fili and Kili exchanged a short glance while Bilbo gave her an unsure smile. "We'll, uh… We'll leave you to dress, then," Kili stuttered, suddenly becoming a bit flustered. He motioned the others to follow and they left the room together, slowly closing the door behind them.
As soon as the door was firmly closed, Kili let out a deep breath. Fili watched him with raised eyebrows, expecting him to say something but Kili couldn't think of anything. He just gave his brother an exasperated look and the blonde nodded in understanding. They didn't have to exchange words to know what the other meant.
That was not the case for the hobbit, though.
"I don't know what to think of that…" he mumbled, "Aren't you bothered by this at all?"
Fili shrugged. "Of course we're bothered by it but what do you suggest we do?"
"I don't know," admitted Bilbo quietly.
"Surely, it is absolutely weird that Tarya has changed into a woman and none of us understands how that happened exactly but… well, she's still Tarya, is she not?" Fili continued, looking first at Bilbo and then at his brother questioningly.
Kili nodded silently. "Yes, she is. And she is just as confused by all this as we are, take it from me," he said, "So we could just do her a favour and try not to… panic. That's the last thing she needs right now."
Bilbo nodded in understanding. "Yes, you'd think that after a transformation like that you should at least be able to rely on your friends." Kili didn't say anything to the use of the word 'friends' but he liked that he was not the only one who obviously cared about Tarya.
"Do you know what the others said?" Kili asked then and Fili shook his head, looking at the closed door thoughtfully.
"No. But I suppose they'll have the shock of their lives, as well." He looked over at his brother then and seeing the worried look on his face, he hurried to calm Kili down. "But they'll certainly give her a chance! I mean, she fought alongside us as a wolf and she undeniably saved at least yours and Ori's life. That's worth something."
Kili raised an eyebrow. "Ori's life?"
"He told me about it during supper," Fili replied, "Apparently, he was having trouble with a warg that wasn't very impressed by his slingshot. And she came out of nowhere, distracting the beast to chase after her instead and saving his skinny arse before he'd have gotten eaten."
Fili ignored the reprimanding glance he got from Bilbo when he mentioned Ori's 'skinny arse'. Kili just took in the information and was just about to say something when there was a muffled yelp behind the door followed by a thud.
The three companions looked at each other before Kili cautiously knocked on the door. He didn't dare to just go in when a woman – even though she had been an animal before – was getting dressed.
"Everything all right?" he asked through the wood of the door. There was no reply for a moment and he exchanged a look with his brother who just shrugged.
"Never mind!" Tarya's voice was still muffled and the three companions could only imagine what was going on in there.
Tarya huffed frustrated. Curse these humans with their clothes. She had fallen off the bed – again – while trying to get her head through the apparently wrong hole. It was only now on the floor that she found where to put her arms and where the head went. Grumbling, she pulled the tunic down and looked up to the ceiling. This was a good start, already.
She had taken a moment to look down at her own body once she'd been alone. She wasn't sure what to think of it. Her skin was bronzy and her body felt rather well exercised. At least, she didn't feel weak. Weaker than she had as a wolf, admittedly, but it could have been worse. She could live with that, she thought, if only for a while, until she would find out how to change back into her normal form. It had to be possible, she thought. If it went like this, it would also have to work the other way around.
She sighed and sat up again, looking at the breeches that lay on the bed. Slowly, she pulled them down and spread them before her. At least she knew exactly how those worked; she just had to put one leg through each pant leg.
Said, done.
She used the bed to pull herself up and stood still for a moment to find her balance. Only standing on two legs really felt awkward. Suddenly, her trousers slid down and landed in the hollow of her knees. They were a bit too big for her, just as the tunic was.
Tarya grumbled slightly and pulled them back up. "Oh, great," she muttered, seeing the little bands on the pants' front.
After a moment of hesitation, she called out to her companions who hopefully still stood on the other side of the door. "I- I need some help!"
Tarya watched as the door opened slowly and Kili stuck his head in. She felt rather stupid, standing in the middle of the room, desperately holding onto her trousers. He looked at her questioningly.
"I can't knot," she said quietly and lowered her gaze to her pants.
"Oh," she heard Kili chuckle lightly before he opened the door a bit further and came towards her. Fili and Bilbo waited by the door.
Kili came to a halt in front of her and tentatively reached out for the bands, giving her an asking look. Tarya slowly released the bands so that he could tie a knot to secure her pants on her hips.
She watched his hands work with interest and wasn't aware of his lightly flushed cheeks as he was working on her trousers.
"There you go," he said, taking a step back when he was finished. She smiled at him.
"Thank you."
"Well, now that we're all ready and steady," Fili smiled from the door, looking at Tarya, standing on her own without any support, "We should go and introduce our new Tarya."
She felt a little nervous – no, actually very nervous – when they escorted her out of the room and through the corridors. While they were walking, she observed her surroundings. She had never seen halls this beautiful before and she was sure that there had been some magic involved in building them. But she didn't mind because the whole area had a very peaceful vibrancy. It was something that made you feel welcome, somehow.
"Is this Imladris?" she asked breathless, looking out on a large balcony while they were walking by.
It was Bilbo who answered her. "Yes, isn't it beautiful?" he said, "I never thought I would see it with my own eyes."
"Yes, it is. It's… welcoming," she said and Bilbo nodded eagerly. Tarya smiled. The little hobbit was already so far from home, she thought, and he had probably never seen much of the world. It was nice to see him flourish with his new experiences. She was not so sure of her own experiences, though. She had never truly had a home but had always wandered through the world, never belonging anywhere. That's what Amaroks did. And still, she had not seen as much of the world as she would have liked because she couldn't just go strutting into villages and cities, for fear of getting caught by someone. But now she had found these dwarves and the hobbit and a wizard that somehow had become her friends and who stood by her even after her little transformation accident. She regarded all of them as their friends, somehow, even the ones she had never really interacted with much. So she didn't understand why it had been Kili exactly to whom she had committed herself.
But it was futile to rack her brains over it now. It had happened and she had to get used to it until she'd find out more about it and especially how to undo her transformation. The commitment was impossible to undo, she knew. And she didn't really want to, anyway.
She was ripped out of her thoughts when they opened the door to another room and as soon as the door was half-open, she heard the familiar chatting voices and laughter of her dwarves.
Kili felt Tarya slide behind him slightly when Fili pushed open the door to where the companions were staying for the night. They were chatting with each other but as soon as the door was fully opened, sudden silence filled the room.
"Well," Fili said nonchalantly, "You've heard, then." And with this, he strutted into the room towards the little fire they had made. Bilbo followed him hesitantly; only Kili was still standing with Tarya. It didn't seem right to just leave her to deal with this situation alone, so he looked over his shoulder to give her a reassuring smile, before he made half a step to the right, so that the others could at least see her. She didn't seem very comfortable.
"So, it's true, then?" Bofur asked, standing up and coming a bit closer. Kili felt Tarya's grip on the back of his tunic when she peeked over his shoulder. Kili nodded, while the others now tried to catch a glimpse of the girl as well.
"Come on in, lass, we won't bite yer head off!" Gloin called from his spot near the fire and shot Tarya a wink.
"He's right," Bofur grinned, "And we have sausages, just in case you're hungry."
Kili felt her grip on his shirt loosen and she took a step forward so that she was now standing next to him, her arm slightly grazing his. He could tell she still felt uneasy being observed by all their companions but apparently, the prospect of eating made her ignore that for the moment.
"I could eat something," she said with a hesitant smile and Bofur's grin widened.
"We thought so," he said, "I managed to save some food for you before Bombur could eat it all up."
"Hey!" His big red-haired brother called out from his spot, "That's not true!"
"Of course it is!" replied Bofur instantly, winking towards Tarya.
She chuckled lightly and Kili felt the tension volatilize while she then walked up to Bofur. She threw a short glance back at Kili before following him and sitting down by the fire. Kili joined them with a relieved smile on his face. Tarya was handed a bowl with some stew, sausages and bread by Bombur immediately after she had sat down.
The company was still silent when she started eating, surprising everyone with how fast she stuffed the food in her mouth. She must have been really hungry, they thought.
She was just chewing on her slice of bread when she looked up from under her lashes at them, pausing for a second, and then giving them a broad smile, making some of them chuckle.
"You like what Bombur cooked, I take it," Bofur smiled at her, puffing on his pipe and she nodded eagerly.
"I always thought it smelled heavenly and now I know that it also tastes like that," Tarya mumbled and looked at the fat cook whose cheeks got slightly red after that statement. Tarya grinned when she saw it and looked at Kili who returned the gesture.
"He's blushing," she beamed and Kili chuckled lightly.
"I know," he replied smilingly.
The others just watched the interaction with confused faces but didn't ask what the two meant.
The chatting then slowly rose up again and soon enough, Tarya was included in the discussions. She joined in rather shyly at first but the company made her feel welcome and they could tell that she was grateful for that, for her smile grew brighter the longer the evening went. And her smile was surely enough reward for them.
Eventually, they all retreated to their bedrolls and the only ones left by the fire were Thorin, Kili, Fili, Balin and Tarya.
The dwarf-king looked at the girl who was staring into the flames now, having grown rather quiet. She was still sitting close to Kili as if he were some sort of anchor. His youngest nephew was talking to his brother quietly, while he shot a glance towards Tarya from time to time as if to check on her. She smiled at him slightly every time she noticed it and then proceeded to watch the fire. Thorin wondered what the Amarok was thinking about and he also wondered whether it would really be possible to take her with them further on the quest. It didn't seem like a good idea to take a girl on a journey like theirs. But then again, she was an Amarok and he wondered whether that had any effect on her qualities to defend herself. She had been a rather good fighter as a wolf after all and her body seemed exercised enough to be able to endure some fighting, even though she was a woman.
He cleared his throat and Tarya, as well as the others around the fire, looked up at him. He looked at the Amarok sternly. "Do you want to go ahead with us on this journey?" he asked her a bit gruffer than he'd meant to. Tarya looked at him silently for a moment, before she nodded.
"Then we will check your fighting qualities tomorrow morn," Thorin continued, "And I will decide whether you are able to continue on or will be left behind."
"Fair enough," she replied quietly and nodded. Thorin got up then, bidding them goodnight and Balin followed soon after, sending Tarya a kind smile and leaving the two young princes alone with the Amarok.
"Can you fight?" Fili asked Tarya quietly, once the three of them were truly the only ones still awake.
"Of course, I can fight!" she all but grumbled and Fili held up his hands in a defensive gesture.
"I know you can fight, we've all seen it. But…" he shot his brother a short glance, before continuing, "… you were a wolf then. Can you fight in this body?"
Now Tarya looked a bit taken aback.