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Tarya walked into the cave behind Kili and he let go of her hand, sending her a short glance before he joined his brother a bit further ahead. She wrinkled her nose at his back slightly and waited by the entrance until Bilbo came in. The hobbit all but tiptoed around the dwarf-king who was pointedly ignoring his presence. Tarya could have punched him in the face for his unkind and uncalled for words when she saw Bilbo's face. He looked positively miserable as he let himself slump down against a wall, a bit more distanced from the others than usual.
"Search to the back," she heard the distinct baritone voice right next to her then and she turned her head to see Thorin talking to Dwalin. "Caves in the mountains are seldom unoccupied." Dwalin nodded and she caught the warrior's gaze for a moment when he turned. He raised his eyebrows questioningly at her and she nodded slightly at him, confirming that she was all right, which was what she thought he wanted to know. He patted her shoulder when he walked past her without saying a word.
She turned to Thorin then, her gaze becoming hard. "You had no right to have a go like this on Bilbo," she grumbled lowly and he looked at her, his blue eyes piercingly cold.
"I had every right," he replied sternly, "He has risked the lives of all of us."
"With falling down the edge of a path you have led us onto?" she snarled angrily, "After barely surviving a thunder battle that none of us could have anticipated?"
Thorin scowled at her, his gaze becoming just slightly defiant. He was about to answer when Dwalin's voice coming from the end of the cave cut him off. "There's nothing here!"
"Right then, let's get a fire started." Gloin said from their right and Thorin quickly turned his head towards the red-haired dwarf.
"No. No fires. Not in this place. Get some sleep, we start at first light."
Tarya felt a twinge of annoyance when the dwarf king turned from her without another word towards Balin. "We were to wait in the mountains until Gandalf joined us," the old dwarf said, "That was the plan."
"Plans change," Thorin replied gruffly and the Amarok snorted quietly. Gandalf had meant to join them; he had meant to talk to her about her transformation after his meeting with the White Council. He had meant to support her with it and she couldn't help but be mad at the dwarf-king for simply changing plans like this. Of course, they had not anticipated the possibility and the consequences of a thunder battle but they could wait for Gandalf up here nonetheless.
Trying to push her anger aside, she turned and walked over to Bilbo who had retreated to a corner of the cave now. He shortly looked up when he noticed her approaching but didn't say anything when she sat down next to him.
Tarya didn't quite now what to say to the hobbit to soothe his nerves. It was obvious that he had been deeply hurt by Thorin's words but she couldn't really think of the right thing to start a conversation. Fortunately, it was him that uttered the first words while the dwarves were one by one lying down to sleep. No one took notice of the two, it seemed.
"I thought we were going to die just now," Bilbo mumbled, looking at his fuzzy feet.
"I did, too," Tarya admitted quietly, watching Bofur sitting down by the cave's entrance for first watch. Bilbo kept quiet for a moment and she looked over at him, a small frown on her face. "He was not right with what he said, Bilbo."
The hobbit huffed slightly, shaking his head. "Yes, he was. It's true I don't belong here. I'm not made for things like this. For adventures. I'm not…" he trailed off, his voice full of resignation.
"I think you are," Tarya replied lowly, "and I think that you don't give yourself enough credit for what you've gone through already. You have earned a place in this company. You are so brave, Bilbo, and sometime you will realize it as well." The hobbit tentatively looked up into her eyes then, his gaze speaking of nothing but doubt. She smiled kindly at her friend. "Do not let words spoken in ire convince you otherwise."
Bilbo smiled slightly then, though it didn't reach his eyes, and lay down to sleep. She watched him for a moment before her gaze wandered over the rest of the dwarves until she found Kili lying between his brother and Nori. She was still a bit angry with him for manhandling her before. Certainly, he had meant nothing but good and he had probably been in the right, too, but she didn't like being ordered about. He should have known that by now. Her thoughts were fading soon though as the fatigue finally got to her and the last thing she saw before her eyes fell closed was Bofur lighting his pipe.
Bilbo didn't sleep that night. He couldn't. His thoughts were going in circles around what Thorin had said to him. Tarya's words had flattered him and he could see that she was genuinely believing in him but he just couldn't find it in him to do so himself. He was not an adventurer he knew that by now. He had found himself wishing to be back in his hobbit hole certain times during the journey so far and he couldn't help but do so again now. The winds outside the cave were still moaning, the rain still pouring down and the cold was mercilessly invading all of them in their damp clothes. He was shivering cold and he was miserable. Back home in the Shire, Bilbo thought, they were probably haying at that time of the year, relishing the last calm and warm days of summer. Bilbo missed the Shire. He missed Bag End. He missed home.
A while later, when he could hear nothing but the even breathing and the soft and sometimes not so soft snoring of his companions, he had made up his mind.
Bilbo opened his eyes and looked around in the darkness. They were all fast asleep, so the hobbit quietly got up, fastened his belt with Sting around his hips and slowly made his way through the cave towards the exit. He looked back at Tarya for a moment. She was sleeping peacefully, leaning against the wall where he had been sitting beside her before. He sighed silently; he would never forget having met an Amarok. Not just an Amarok but Tarya. And he would never forget having travelled with these dwarves, either.
"Where do you think you're going?" Bofur piped up quietly when Bilbo walked past him. The hobbit, bracing himself for what he was about to say, closed his eyes for a second and then turned around.
"Back to Rivendell," he said determined and immediately saw how Bofur's face fell.
"No, no, no! You can't turn back now! You're one of us!"
"I'm not though, am I?" Bilbo sighed. "Thorin said I should never have come and he was right. I'm a Baggins, not a Took. I don't know what I was thinking when I ran out of my door."
"You're homesick! I understand," Bofur said quietly but he was cut off by the hobbit.
"No! You don't understand! None of you do! You're dwarves, you are used to this life, never settling in one place, not belonging anywhere..." he cut himself off then, realizing what he had just said to the kind dwarf before him. "I- I'm sorry, I didn't…"
"No, you're right," Bofur replied lowly, sadly, his voice not much more than a whisper. "We don't belong anywhere." He looked around for a moment, observing the sleeping dwarves on the floor. The hobbit was right and they couldn't ask of him to stay with them and to continuously endanger himself for their sake. He had a home, after all and Bofur could understand that he wanted to go back there. After all, that was what was the goal of their quest as well. To go back home. "I wish you all the luck in the world," he said after a moment of silence, finally smiling at Bilbo. "I really do."
Bilbo didn't know what to say when Bofur patted him on the shoulder. So he simply gave the dwarf a grateful smile and a curt nod and then turned around to leave.
"What's that?" he heard Bofur ask and he confusedly turned around again, seeing the dwarf stare at his sword sheath with a frown. Bilbo looked down himself and as he drew Sting, he saw that it was glowing blue. It took him a moment too long to realize what this meant and just as his thoughts came to a conclusion, Thorin's voice was booming through the cave.
"Wake up! Wake up!"
And then he felt the floor give in beneath his feet.
Tarya's eyes shot open when she heard loud shouting as the ground cracked beneath her. She desperately and unsuccessfully tried to get a hold of something when the floor tipped and she found herself sliding down into darkness together with the others.
Just a few seconds later, she landed with a painful thump facedown on a different floor. She groaned in pain when she felt another heavy body falling down on her and pressing her against the wooden ground.
"Sorry," she heard the person mumble and couldn't quite tell which one of the dwarves it was. But before she could check, she felt the weight being lifted off her body just before she was roughly hauled to her feet herself. What she saw next made her breath hitch in her throat. There were goblins! So terrifyingly many of them and they had fallen right into the midst of their… town, she realized with horror.
As they were being pushed and shoved forward, Tarya felt the creatures jabbing and clawing at her skin, leaving scratches and bruises where they touched and she tried to push them off of her but to very little avail. She heard sneering snickers and laughter around her as they mercilessly pinched her and the others and the Amarok felt a low growl rise in her throat. They would pay for this, she told herself when a particularly nasty goblin pulled her hair so that she groaned in pain for a second.
Suddenly, she felt a strong hand wrapping itself around her forearm, pulling her forward and she felt herself getting surrounded by her companions so that the goblins couldn't reach her anymore but only the dwarves that had formed a little protecting wall around her.
She glanced up and found herself looking at the back of Kili's head, the hand around her arm belonging to the brunette dwarf. This manoeuvring her around was apparently becoming a habit of his but in this case, she didn't mind at all. She was quite grateful not to be in the goblins' direct reach when they were lead further down into Goblin Town over long wooden bridges that were slightly shaking under their feet, for some of the beasts had by now taken out whips that they were bringing down on them with monstrous glee.
"Who would be so bold as to come armed into my kingdom? Spies? Thieves? Assassins?" a deep voice boomed and as she looked up, there was a tremendous goblin sitting on a large flat stone as if it were a throne. It was probably the most ugly-looking creature Tarya had ever seen with a large head, long and dirty fingernails that were more claws and his double chin looked like a big nasty blain.
"Dwarves, your Malevolence," one of the goblins provided abjectly.
"Dwarves?" the Great Goblin mused, letting his gaze wander over them. Tarya shrank behind Kili's back and hoped that he wouldn't spot her, although she didn't know whether their captors hadn't already. She didn't want to know what these beasts would do when they realized they had a woman in their captivity. Goblins were not usually known for their chivalry. They were nasty, despiteful creatures and Tarya felt a profound aversion towards them. They had no honour or integrity. She knew they ate everything and everyone and they were always hungry. But they wouldn't gnaw at your bones before you hadn't gone through a long spiral of their tortures and mistreatments.
"We found them on the front porch," the smaller goblin explained to his king and the Great Goblin sat back on his chair, observing them.
"Well, what are you waiting for?" he asked his soldiers. "Search them! Every crack, every crevice!"
Tarya couldn't do anything. When they tore on Kili to deprive him of his weapons, she slipped from his grip and she felt the goblins brutally snatching her daggers from her belt so that she stumbled and fell forward.
"My, my, what do I see?" she heard the Great Goblin sneer and she squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, frustrated. "A woman amongst dwarves... Bring her forward!"
Kili tried to shield Tarya when he heard the Goblin King's order but there were too many arms grabbing her and jerking her form his grip. He watched her being dragged a few feet forward and he saw that she was struggling, trying to get rid of the goblins' hold on her but they were too many.
"And what a fair one, I might add," the king said, once he could take a proper look at Tarya. "Evidently no she-dwarf but too small still to be much else," he mused, licking his lips in a sickening manner and Kili looked over at his uncle, for he was not comfortable with the Goblin King inspecting the Amarok so closely. He didn't know what would happen if he came to know what she truly was. Thorin was watching the scene with a deep frown on his face, obviously feeling quite the same as his youngest nephew.
"What are you, then?" the Great Goblin asked Tarya directly, leaning in towards her but no word came across her lips. "Answer me!"
She didn't answer; probably knowing it wouldn't be to her advantage if she did and the dwarves had to watch her being brought down on her knees forcefully by the smaller goblins. The king directed his gaze towards them, then. "Well, what are you doing in these parts? Speak!" he ordered but none of them obeyed. Kili shook the hand of a goblin off his shoulder angrily, his gaze fixed upon the black haired woman a few feet away.
"Very well," the big goblin growled, "If they will not talk, we'll make them squawk! Bring up the mangler, bring up the bone breaker! Start with the girl."
Thorin saw the mad grins on the goblins' faces when they heard the order, obviously full of anticipation for the pain they were now allowed to bring upon Tarya. And just a moment after, he saw a large object being dragged closer, looking like a horrible torture device. No, he wouldn't let them bring any harm upon the Amarok, he told himself. "Wait!" he uttered loudly, getting the Goblin King's attention and stepping a few feet forward so that he was only a few centimetres behind Tarya. He could only see her back but even like this, he could tell that she was trembling. If it was from fear or anger, he couldn't tell.
"Well, well, well!" the Great Goblin laughed. "Look who it is! Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror, king under the mountain." The dwarf-king watched the beast do a mock bow in his direction and felt his anger rising quickly. "Oh! But I'm forgetting you don't have mountain, and you're not a king. Which makes you… nobody really." Thorin usually knew better than to let talk like this affect him but it annoyed him nonetheless.
"I know someone who would pay a pretty price for your head," the goblin continued. "Just the head, nothing attached. Perhaps you know of whom I speak, an old enemy of yours. A pale orc astride a white warg."
Thorin felt his blood freeze at the words. It couldn't be. "Azog the Defiler was destroyed," the dwarf-king growled. "He was slain in battle long ago."
"So you think his defiling days are over, do you?" the other king asked mockingly, obviously taking pride in knowing more than Thorin did and rubbing it into the dwarf's face. "Send word to the pale orc," he told his scribe then. "Tell him I have found his prize!"
Thorin couldn't believe what he was hearing. Was it true? Was Azog still alive and breathing? He didn't think the Goblin King would make something like this up as much as the thought of Azog still being alive pained him. But no, it couldn't be. He had chopped off the Defiler's arm himself and he had seen him being dragged back into the halls of Moria himself. But he had not in fact seen him die, had he?
Suddenly, the laughter of the goblins became louder again as their king signed them to continue what they had been doing before. Their weapons were by now lying on a pile out of reach and the dwarves watched dreadfully as more torture apparatuses were brought upon the platform.
Kili felt a shiver run down his spine when the beasts started singing, the Great Goblin joining in joyfully.
"Bones will be shattered, necks will be wrung, and you'll be beaten and battered, from racks you'll be hung. You will die down here and never be found, down in the deep of Goblin town." They sung and their guttural voices echoed from the walls around them. Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, he saw a soldier raise his whip and before he could even blink he had brought it down on Tarya.
The horrible sound of her pained cry rang in his ears and he felt rage boiling hot in his stomach when she sank to the floor, using her hands to hold herself up.
"No! Leave her be!" he shouted, struggling to get forward but getting punched hard in the stomach and stumbling back.